


Little Home Of Mine

by BamBamtheWolf



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animals as kids, But he's the sweetest, Byun Baekhyun is Bad at Feelings, Byun Baekhyun is Whipped, Chanyeol is also a gang member, Chanyeol is an understanding sweetheart, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family Drama, Insecurity, M/M, Minor Character Death, Park Chanyeol is Whipped, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, References to Drugs, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Trust Issues, switch chanbaek, until
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-21 18:02:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 86,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20697722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BamBamtheWolf/pseuds/BamBamtheWolf
Summary: Waiter Baekhyun already made peace with the thought that he'll never escape his stalker- the friendly police officer that everyone seems to adore.That is, until he catches the eye of gang member Chanyeol. The man turns his life upside down in the best way possible.





	1. In the gray sky

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyyy, this is Anca from twitter. I've started this as a tweetfic during finals period because I was stressed and somehow it turned into 100k something so I'm here to repost my overgrown child. You'll find a lot of typos and bad grammar in here because that's just who I am as a person, I won't even excuse myself anymore lmao but!!!! If you get past that, I hope you'll enjoy my edgy child.

Byun Baekhyun is a poor, ex-college student who froze his second year in engineering school so he could focus on his new full-time job because he needed the money, and he never got back into it after. He now lives in a rundown building next to the train station, one that shakes every time a train passes by, and shares his limited space with his life-long friend, Brown Paw.

Chanyeol is a simple gang member- his gang does most of its "shady stuff" as Baekhyun likes to call it, in a warehouse not far from the train station, behind the only two buildings left there, one happening to be Baekhyun's domicile.

They know about each other existence, but that's about it. Baekhyun just makes sure to not run into any of their activities when he comes back late at night and Chanyeol, who's in charge of reasoning and everything transactions is happy as long as he's not seen by many prying eyes.

Baekhyun hates this gang. Curses it even in his sleep, curses every gang to ever exist that led to this very gang's existence. Because with this particular gang, comes a police officer he's come to know too well. In his life, in his apartment, in his space, in his nightmares.

It all started earlier this year.

  
_It was all innocent. _

_It went from: ''I've been assigned to watch over the area because we got information that there might be some illegal business going on','-he didn't, he just took it as his duty on Thursday and Wednesday when work wasn't as busy, as an excuse, Baekhyun would find out later-, to "I'm walking you to your door to make sure the area is safe.", to "let me inside to check the place."_   
_Then to forcefully making his way inside when Baekhyun was showing no sings of opening the door further._

_To slamming him against the door so hard Baekhyun saw stars, it was the first time he's been thrown around or shown any violence like this, and he couldn't believe it was happening to him and more, that a person wearing a police uniform was doing this._

_"W-what are you doing?" Baekhyun remebers how he fought back, of course he did, but the bigger man wasn't fazed at all by the look of panic in his eyes, as he wouldn't be by the one of fear either that night /no/ he kept on pressing against him, bulge making Baekhyun's stomach drop, hand circling the boy's neck a little too strong but his fingers caressing him nevertheless. "Stop pretending Baekhyunee, it's just the two of us now, you can let go."_

_Extreme confusion was what Baekhyun felt, fear, however, was the most prominent emotion. "The fuck are you talking about? You're sick, get off me!" he tried to push back just as hard, but with every second, the grip around his neck was getting tighter._

_"Stop playing you little vixen, I know you love me just as much as I do, I can see it in your eyes, my Hyunee." The sound of a belt being open made it all too real and rage, rage at the situation, at the cruel words, made Baekhyun forget about the grip on his neck and push back so hard, the man towering over him stumbled back in shock._   
_That was his moment, his chance- Baekhyun punched him until his first hurt but little, stupid Baekhyun never punched someone until then either, and from his 3 punches only one was aimed in the right way._

_"You sick bastard, I WILL REPORT YOU!" suddenly the person in front of him changed, the sickening loving look morphed into a dark, dark glare, and it made all of Baekhyun bravado disappear._

_"You? Report me?" he laughed in his face just like that "let's go to the section, you pathetic piece of shit, I will get you a fine so big even selling yourself and this dump won't be able to cover it."_

_"You can't-"_

_"Or do you want your employer to find out about this? You think anyone would want to hire someone who has a history of aggression, against a cop?"_

_"No one would believe you Baekhyunee, do you want your poor dad to die because of you?" _ _**His father.** They met shortly after he got the news about his father critical condition. He was supposed to be an one night stand. Baekhyun was so drunk, he barely remembers anything even now. He wasn't into men until then. But that night, he'd been so hopelessly, pathetically sad, he just wanted to feel protected and cared for. That damned night gave the man cornering him right now access to his house, that night led to this._

_His mind kept screaming "he can't, he can't, it's not fair" but he knew he could, and he would. The fingers were back on his face, trailing it with that loving look in his eyes again. "Hyunee baby, see what you did? You made me really mad. Never do it again, okay?"_

_Life is not fair, he found out that night. And, in the morning, when he woke up for work to cum stained sheets and his body covered in more bruises than he could cover, he felt like throwing up- he did it later, while cursing at the world, at all the cops in it, at whoever divided the world into rich and poor, at street gangs and at Wednesday days._

And as if two days a week are not enough, Baekhyun sees Dongjun every day at work between 12 and 13 in the latter's lunch break, when he's all sweet smiles towards the regular old ladies and just about everyone but all rough and demanding touches when he finally gets to corner Baekhyun in the back.

• • • • • •

It's the end of a busy Monday and Baekhyun makes his way through the empty street towards his place, he's been receiving complains from his boss all day about how trippy and unfocused he's been for a while now, threats to get his shit together and he just wants to get home and feed his fat cat, get lost in his friend's fur and maybe pass out on his shitty couch early if he's lucky enough. The warehouse's door is open, big car parked outside and Baekhyun can't help but stare absently at the old building, the one he associates his misfortunes with.

From that open door soon peeks a head, covered in a black cap, turns left, right, then gets outside when he sees only Baekhyun in the dead of the night. They've seen each other before, they know about each other existence. Tall boy raises an eyebrow, irked by the other's persistent glances, provoking. Baekhyun scoffs and resumes his walk to the entrance, bitter taste present in his mouth once again.

• • • • • •

Ask him when his life began to turn to shit, he'll tell you that maybe it was that night two years ago when his father was diagnosed with lung cancer. Or maybe it started way back, when he was 12 and he saw his father smoking for the first time, maybe it's been piling up since then.

Or maybe he'll tell you it was the day the doctors told them his dad's chances of surviving dropped to 30% but they might still have a chance, should still try /give more money to the hospital/. The same day his mother left, being the first person to give up before the hard part even started. But maybe his life is taking a turn for the worst right now, as he's sitting on his ratty couch with a cup of instant noodles in his hands, staring into nothing, thinking and thinking and thinking, /accepting/ that this is his life, and there's no hope for it to get better.

• • • • • •

It's a Wednesday again, and he can't do anything about it. Baekhyun is sitting by the window, his cat in his arms as he's caressing it absently. That's when he hears it. The door handle pressing once, twice, then it gives in and the door crackles open. "Hyunee baby, I'm here."

He hears fast footsteps, and then the man is next to him, embracing him from behind, breath hitting his neck in a second. "Baekhyunee?" He doesn't answer, just lowers his hands, letting Brown Paws escape from his arms. He's turned around after. "What's my boy thinking so hard about?" Baekhyun looks straight into his eyes, voice void of any emotion, just like it's been for a while now.

"I'm thinking of ways to kill you." The man still clothed in a uniform laughs so hard, like he's just heard the best joke and pecks his nose "you're so funny, Baekkie." But the tightening grip on his waist tells a different story. "I love it when you're teasing like this," another peck "but we have a guest tonight so you better behave." This has Baekhyun's blood boiling. He's inviting someone into /his/ house, involving someone else into this.

But he can't say anything. Or he can, but it won't change a thing. He just stares back, mind already far away. "You're so beautiful like this, look at your pretty eyes." His eyes are glassy, he can feel them and once again Baekhyun wonders how twisted the other's mind can be, how blind he must be to see the reality with such distortion. "Ahhh, I love you so much my baby, tell me you love me too." Baekhyun feels a hand creeping it's way up his stomach, his chest, resting on his heart. Or so he knows he should, but he doesn't really feel anything, mind far away at this point, body on autopilot. But a knock on the door makes the hand on his chest disappeared, as well as the man in front of him who goes to open the door the second after.

He takes a few steps towards the couch realizing that he's been standing by the window for too long, and just as he's about to take a seat another man steps through his front door. A man he knows. The same man he's seen plenty of times going in and out of that warehouse, the one he's learned to ignore and hate at the same time.

"Yes, come in, please, this way." He hears Dongjun say, then there's the two of them standing on his too-small couch, making him feel suffocated just by hearing their voices resonating through his cramped room.

They talk for a while, Baekhyun tunes it out, something about gang information and some gun shipping pass briefly by his ears. He studies the new man though, and the taller eyes linger on him too from time to time, probably noticing the burning gaze. The man, /boy/ seems young, lip stiffened up, jaw set and ready for business but the round curious eyes give him away. Baekhyun challenges him, eyes never dropping whenever the other's glances would find their way back to him.

Of course, the two's staring doesn't go unnoticed by Dongjun, who grips Baekhyun thigh harder, presses against him more, to show just how much he's stolen from him. He stops in the middle of his sentence, voice dropping an octave. "You like my Baekhyunee, don't you?" his hand trails from his thighs, to his waist, showing his /property/.

"He's a pretty one, isn't he?" but the other doesn't even get the chance to get a word out, "But he's a feisty one too, likes to play. Don't you, Baekkie?" Baekhyun doesn't answer, feeling better to just stare into nothing, to just not participate in any of it, to dissociate from this humiliation, this burning shame he should feel but he doesn't. He should feel grateful that he can just ignore it, and maybe he would, if he could feel anything.

"Yeah, I can imagine," the stranger but not quite says, giving Baekhyun an unappreciative look over, "You can keep your plaything to yourself, I came here to talk business, Dongjun."

This seems to satisfy Dongjun, because they pick up their gun talk, and another night passes just like this.

• • • • • •

It should have been the last he heard from the tall stranger, they were supposed to return to their habit of seeing and ignoring each other almost every night but, no.

  
One day, almost a week after, the boy pays him a visit in the restaurant he works at. Cap on but silver hair now turned black. It's half past 4, the dinner is quite empty and the last thing Baekhyun expects when he goes to give the menu to the new customer is for the man to say, "Won't you have a seat? My friend ditched me and I'm kind of lonely."

He can't, he doesn't wanna see his face ever again, but the man insists, again and again and again, until Baekhyun is back from placing the order in the kitchen and sitting opposite of him, in a corner that's hidden from most eyes, and he realizes the other must-have chosen this place on purpose.

"What do you want?" He sits down on one leg only, the other ready to bolt any second. The other regards his position with a raised eyebrow, but doesn't comment on it.

"Some company, I already told you."

"And why do you want it from me?"

"Because you're the only friendly face I know in here at the moment." Baekhyun's face is anything but friendly. He knows, the man in front of him knows, the whole restaurant knows by now. But he makes sure to get his point across by frowning deeper, not in the mood for any games.

The stranger jokingly frowns too, and they have stare competition until the latter's face breaks into a grin, hand extending. "Oh, how rude of me to not introduce myself. I'm Chanyeol, by the way."

Upon seeing no movement on the smaller's end, Chanyeol continues, "And you're Baekhyun, right? " Baekhyun just blinks, "first floor... number, hmm, 8? Yeah, I think it was 8." The quiet boy doesn't say anything, anticipating the moment Dongjun's name spills out of Chanyeol's mouth because he knows it will, sooner or later, the last week encounter still fresh in his mind. "See? I know so much about you already, we could be friends."

Baekhyun scoffs. In his face. The gesture so unmannered he begins to think the boy in front of him must really have some serious problems, because his characteristic grin doesn't fade. "Stop it, Chanyeol."

"Well, Baekhyun," he puts emphasis on the name, just as the other boy did with his, Baekhyun has to dig his nails so deep in his palm he feels his knuckles cracking, "As you can see, I'm not doing anything in particular, so, please describe this "it" you want me to stop?"

Two things happen at once, two bells ring, one from the kitchen and the ones hanging by the doors. Baekhyun excuses himself, ignoring everything Chanyeol has said to him until this point, going to bring his order from the back and disappearing the second after, the taller barely manages to get a "Leaving already? You're no fun." out.

• • • • • •

Some days after, Baekhyun gets off work early, he goes to pay his father a visit. And he leaves in a rush, looking everywhere for a second job. He hates hospital visits, because they always bring him bad news. This time was no different, because as he's searching the streets for every bar, restaurant, café, there's only one thing on his mind: how could his father condition get worse in such a short time, how can he cover the additional taxes now? What a shame that it's September, students just got back to school and all the jobs are already secured.

Really a shame. Because, going home now, almost midnight and the streets empty, he has minus a phone in his pocket and a blackening eye in addition for being too daring while negotiating the phone's price.

He passes out on his couch again at some point after, Brown Paws on his lap, purring so loud his neighbors could hear it, but they haven't been paying attention to what has been going on in Baekhyun's flat for a long time and then, suddenly, it's Wednesday again.

And the cycle repeats itself.

• • • • • •

"Why did you ask for me?" He was in the back cleaning plates when it came. Around 7 in the evening, a colleague of his came to say that the customer requested to be served by him. It came as a surprise for him, as well as the others around, which they badly tried to conceal. Baekhyun wasn't known as the brightest one among them, didn't engage in conversation like others did, but he was good at what he was doing, professional, and could do pretty much everything from sweeping the floors to finishing food when the main cook would take a break. Probably the only reason his boss still kept someone so gloomy in this field of work.

"Because I wanted to see my new acquaintance, why else?" a grin, "how have you been?"

Baekhyun ignores him. "What would you like to order?"

"Can I take you home after work? I'm heading there as well." Baekhyun really wants to punch his stupid face. His big eyes for looking at him brightly, giving the impression that you can read every emotion that passes through them when in reality he's as closed off as every faceless stranger he passes by on the street. "I'm sorry. That's not on the menu."

"Uhhh...let's see then," he scratches his head playfully, "can I come see you more often in here?"

"No."

"Then not that often but still come from time to time?"

"No."

He juts his lower lip out, "Then how am I supposed to see my new friend?"

Like we don't see each other almost every day, Baekhyun wants to say. But a bigger part of him just wants to get away from this table. "Chanyeol, please just order something, you're keeping me from working."

• • • • • •

Later, when he's let his co-workers handle his table for a bit and went out for a break, he hears the door open. It's not unusual for clients to go in and out, but this one walks in his direction and ends up with his back resting against the wall, copying his position.

"Can I ask you something?" Baekhyun ignores him. "Why can't I take you home, since we're heading in the same direction anyway?"

This makes the smaller snap his head up, and dizziness clogs his head, the difference while standing next to each other being bigger than he'd expected. He closes his eyes for some seconds, remembering how much he hates tall people. Or is it his own height that he hates? What he doesn't realize is that as soon as his face stops facing the ground, the taller scans it with his too perceptive eyes. He also doesn't know that the make up his co-worker applied this morning looks weaker in the sun. "I know the way well enough on my own."

Chanyeol nods. "Can I ask you another question?"

"You think I can stop you?''

Chanyeol grins. His oh so annoying grin but his face doesn't stay like this for too long. "Did Dongjun do that to your eye?"

"Chanyeol." He turns his body towards him, unfazed eyes tiredly regarding the pair in front of him. "Can I ask /you/ a question?" The other nods, his hair bouncing with the movement. He seems surprised. "Why don't you tell me what you really want from me, or fuck off already?"

"I told you, a genuine friendship is all I want." Baekhyun snorts quietly, pushes himself off the wall. "You're full of shit." He goes back inside after this. The persistent giant doesn't try to go back inside, Baekhyun goes home with a tingling of relief.

But nothing good lasts for him, he knows by now. Nothing can last when, as he's close to entering his building, he sees a familiar car parked outside, a car he's supposed to see only two days a week, but there it is, on a Saturday night, making him feel dread with every step he takes towards the main entrance.

Dongjun is waiting for him on his couch, only in his boxers, legs spread like he owns the place. But then again, he thinks he owns Baekhyun too.

His head snaps up when the door closes, but Baekhyun barely pays him any mind, like he always does. He throws his jacket on the door's hanger, picks his cat up, goes to the corner he's using as a kitchen, takes a cup of instant ramen out and fills it with water. This doesn't faze Dongjun at all, nothing ever does. Because in a second he's circling his arms around his back, nose scenting his hair, his neck. "Hi baby. I wanted to surprise you,'' the man grins, his insides twist, ''Aren't you surprised?" Dongjun nudges his sides, then his hands quickly find their way under his shirt. The bare front touching him causes a wave of repugnance to go through him, but he doesn't give an answer.

"You look troubled Hyunee, is someone bothering you?"

"Yeah, you." Baekhyun says flatly then picks his cup up after placing Brown Paws on the counter, eating with the other's arms still around him, no way he'd be let go that easily. Dongjun chuckles deeply, then kisses his nape. "You always eat that, baby. You know it's not healthy, right?" he squeezes him, "You should just come live with me instead Baekkie, I can take care of you."

"I'd rather die." Baekhyun mutters lowly, then resumes his eating.

• • • • • •

Chanyeol doesn't come by for another two weeks, Dongjun pays him more visits. He'd be lying if he said he hasn't caught himself thinking about the first boy more often than not, anticipating the moment he's gonna come back.

It happens on a Friday, when they're around closing hours and the dinner is serving its last clients. He asks for Baekhyun, places his usual order, but doesn't say more than needed. It angers the smaller, he's on edge the whole time, /waiting/ for his comments to come. He thinks the giant is doing it on purpose, he must be.

It angers him. Chanyeol breaks the silence when the waiter is back with his food. Gives him a smile, but this one doesn't involve any teeth like before. This time the air around him is more solemn, serious. "You're closing in about half an hour right?" but he doesn't wait for confirmation "Let me walk you home?"

"Why?" "Because I wanna tell you some things you might find interesting."

"Fine, wait for me outside."

He does just that, when Baekhyun steps out of the restaurant later, he's waiting there. Cap on, hoodie zipped up, backpack on his shoulder. Baekhyun throws him a quick look, then begins walking, not checking twice if the boy behind him is keeping up or not.

He is though. "You don't talk much, do you?" Chanyeol asks but it's more rhetorical, they both know.

"Just get to the point, Chanyeol."

"Right, the point." He scratches his head, a habit of his, Baekhyun observes with the corner of his eye. "Look, it's just...a little weird to talk while walking."

"You've been talking while walking for some time now, doesn't seem that hard."

"It's not like that it's..." Chanyeol let's out a frustrated groan, stops in front of him, a gesture that causes the waiter to stop too. "You're a handful, you know that?"

Baekhyun scoffs. "Let's go sit somewhere?" Chanyeol prompts.

"Like?"

"How about the beach?" Baekhyun looks up through his lashes, eyes stinging with tiredness, he must look miserable. "It's a ten minutes walk." Chanyeol's eyes lit up with something unknown to Baekhyun the moment their eyes meet again, something that resembles hopefulness. "But only two by car, I have it parked near this street."

"Why would I get in a car with you?"

"Because the air is still warm and the night breeze is nice and we should make the best of it while we still can, why else?" he rolls his eyes playfully, "Look, I promise I won't even breathe in your direction if that's what you want," he explains lively, hands flying in the air to get his point across better, "I just find going to the beach relaxing and I think it would be a great place for you to loosen up a little, working all week must be tiring, hm?"

But Baekhyun's expression doesn't falter, he stares right back at him, distrust swimming in his black eyes. "I don't trust you, Chanyeol." But to the beach they go. Two minutes just as Chanyeol promised and they're there, taking their shoes off before the bed of sand that lays ahead of them. One more and Chanyeol's laying a big jumper he magically took out of his backpack on the ground, then he's lying down next to it, but keeping a little distance like he promised, gesturing to the unmoving Baekhyun to take a seat on it.

Apparently, he has no problem getting full of sand, not with the way he's spreading his long limbs around, bones cracking at the movement. Baekhyun sits down after some thought, eyes never leaving Chanyeol, even though the sound surrounding them made by the waves is inviting, captivating. He won't let his guard down.

Chanyeol seems to feel his burning gaze, because he gets up to be on the same level, eyes crinkling with a telltale of a smile. They always seem to have some kind of a staring contest, but this one is cut short by the taller. "Do you know why I brought you here, Baekhyun?"

He shakes his head truthfully. He doesn't, he doesn't know why he did anything he did until this point, nor can he fathom what his true intentions are. He doesn't even know what he's doing here, why he agreed to be here at this hour when he should already be home, feeding his cat. Or maybe he does, but he's afraid to admit it.

"This is where I come when I have a lot on my mind," The taller is looking right into his eyes, making sure he's being followed, "and I wanted to take you here because I truly want you to relax a little."

Baekhyun is ready to snort again, to call out his bullshit, "here, try this, my grandma taught me this when I was little," he points to his feet, which are buried in the sand, wiggling, moving it around, "she said something about connecting with the earth, finding inner peace, stuff like that." He then recalls in a pitched tone, trying his best at an impression. Baekhyun throws him an unimpressed look, but he copies him nevertheless.

"Do you drink?"

"Not with you." Chanyeol's expression changes. Almost fond, almost like he's been expecting this answer. "Okay then, I will." He takes out a black bottle, beer, and Baekhyun wonders what he'll pull out of that backpack next. "I also knew you'd give in after a while," he continues, "because, if I were you, I'd also want to be anywhere but with the creep you have waiting at home."

This has Baekhyun's jaw clenching, mad at himself because he's been a fool to think they would keep on ignoring Dongjun, and how they got introduced, any longer.

"I haven't been completely honest with you, Baekhyun." The smaller raises an eyebrow. "I've known you longer than that night we officially met," Baekhyun can't hide his confusion but the other is quick to explain, "The night you filled that restraining order, about 8 months ago, we were in a meeting when Dongjun got called over to take care of it and we had to cut it short." Chanyeol takes a sip of his beer, giving the waiter time to ponder on the new information, seeing his troubled expression. But Baekhyun's mind goes blank. He's just so tired, of everything, of big smiles he's undeserving of, of police officers sealing deals with mafia members, of the world mixing black with white, of seeing the ugliness behind it.

"I can't tell you more of it," a deep voice he's familiar with let's out from his left, but it feels more faraway now, even the powerful waves don't sound the same, "I know what Dongjun's been doing to you, and I want to help you."

"I don't need your help." Baekhyun murmurs, slowly but steady, and it must be his body on autopilot, because the answer comes too fast, conscience taking over, reminding him that the damage is done and the pieces are scattered all over, lost with no way to be found whole again. He didn't spend every night convincing himself of it only for help to come after one year, here but a little too late. No, he's already chosen his road in life, a long time ago. And Baekhyun can't fight it, can't fight himself.

"I-" Chanyeol tilts his head, face concerned, "Are you sure? I think you do."

Baekhyun forces himself to straighten his stance, he hates how a change of plans can throw him off so badly, he can't do this, not now, even if his all is begging him to abandon everything  
and just stare into nothing, to mend his mind. "I don't trust you, Chanyeol. How can I?" He knows he's right on this one, the boy in front of him knows it too, but the eager light in his eyes doesn't fade. "You don't even know me, and yet you say you want to help me," he takes a breath, it's been a while since he's talked this much, at this pace, "Who the fuck are you to pry into my life like this? What do you even know, _really_?" He's gotten closer to the other, without even realizing, he's almost in his face, gritting through his teeth, "Just what sort of a sick game are you playing, Chanyeol?"

If it was possible, Chanyeol's gaze that always seems to be on him gets more intense, not backing up when the blond man gets in his personal space. Plenty of things go through his head. One being that this is the longest he's heard the other talk, the longest they've spoken but he refrains from commenting on it. It will only fire up the smaller one more. "I know it's hard to believe it, but I have no hidden intentions," he points at Baekhyun's disbelieving face, "don't give me that, I'm serious." He chugs down the remaining of his beer, sets the can down. When did he finish that? Baekhyun wonders. "You don't want my help, fine, but let me at least try to gain your trust and maybe you'll change your mind after, what do you say?"

Baekhyun sighs, planting his feet in the ground harder, stubbornly still trying, "I, I just- want to go home."

"Let me drive you there," The taller is already standing up.

"But...you just drank?"

"And what are you gonna do about it? Turn me over to the cops?" Chanyeol gives a dimpled smirk, a secretive one, "There's a lot of things you don't know Baekhyun, and I'll gladly teach you, if you'll let me."

• • • • • •

It's safe to say that Baekhyun doesn't get to rest that night. Usually only one man keeps his mind occupied until exhaustion takes over, but tonight there's two of them that won't let his eyelids completely close, scenarios and possibilities appearing and changing, making his toss and turn until the first signs of light begin to peek from the window, until it's too late to try and close his eyes again. Chanyeol says he wants to help, but if that's so, why does the man give him the same sleepless nights as the one he's promising to keep him safe from?

• • • • • •

"Dude, what happened to your face?" Another waiter he currently works with, Minseok, asks him, as their cleaning the table 3 hours after, getting ready for a hectic Saturday, they always are.

Baekhyun lifts his head confused, too deep in his mind to recognize he's being spoken to right away, "Oh, this," he forces a chuckle, but it sounds so natural, "I was out until late with some friends last night, didn't get much sleep." He didn't, he just ran out of the concealer he'd usually use, and didn't save any money to buy another one.

He knows he looks like shit, the circles under his eyes turned from yellow, to purple, to a darker shade, but Minseok seems to buy it, because he asks him more about a drama he makes up on the spot, then offers to help him with the make up he's got on him in the back.

And while they finish arranging everything for the new day, his co-worker keeps throwing comments, remarks, anything to fill up the silence, but a particular one makes him focus his attention on the other man again, "So, tall boy who's been asking for you... who's that?" he tries to seem uninterested, like he's just making conversation, but Baekhyun sees past it, right into the curios glint from his eyes.

He shrugs. "He seems interested in you though."

He shrugs once again. "He's just a customer."

"First Dongjun, now this man," Minseok gives him a proud look over, "what's your secret Byun Baekhyun? How do you attract such fine men?" Baekhyun chuckles bitterly, but doesn't add anything else. If only his co-worker knew about these so-called fine men.

One of his "admirers" as Minseok comes to tell him, pays him a visit later in the day, and Baekhyun is just a little disappointed when it's not a tall boy with his cap covering his too-big eyes waiting for him at the table, because he knew the time, he knew Dongjun will be the one waiting for him, giving him a polite smile and a bow of his head, all formal when there are people around them because no one knows what he's doing behind closed doors, because in everyone's eyes he's the good guy who's friendly to everyone and has a soft spot for the younger, hard-working Baekhyun, the latter takes his time, trying to steal as many minutes from the officer's break as possible. But he can't really do much, not with his boss who's watching him carefully, waiting for him to mess up. The man doesn't waste time once the menu is placed on the table, speaking soft and low, God forbid someone hear him, hear what he's truly like. "I'll only have a coffee, I came here to apologize, actually,"

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, turns his back to the kitchen while he's waiting, "I am very sad Baekkie, I have to leave my baby on his own," his frown deepens, "but don't worry, I will come back to you, it's just 4 days, I promise I'll make it up to you then." Baekhyun nods, ignoring everything he said. "Is that all you're gonna have?"

• • • • • •

The first day goes by slowwly, so slow. He goes to work earlier than his shift starts, at 9 to work extra hours because it gets him extra money, then serves, cleans, washes, cooks, stores things in until it's 15 past 11 and he's locking up the restaurant.

It's the second one and he can't take it already, and he hates himself for it. Baekhyun knows he should feel relieved because he's finally getting away from the man that's been making his life a living hell for the past months. He also knows that it's only for 5 days and he shouldn't get used to it because nothing will change in the end. But he knows he should be feeling guilty too because he has the time he used to pray for and he can't enjoy it or be grateful about it. In the end, it's just a big emptiness inside him, that doesn't give space for anything his head is saying he should feel. One thing he knows, he misses the bad he's so used to, the adrenaline that can get him to /feel/ something, that gets him so tired he barely has time for thinking things over and over, because thinking does him no good.

The third day and he goes out for a walk at night, tired but too restless to actually stay with his eyes closed more than 2 minutes. His cat accompanies him, tightly held against this chest as he's strolling the streets mindlessly.

The fourth one and he manages to get some sleep, but it doesn't last long with his habit of waking up every hour. It's four in the morning and Baekhyun gives up on trying to sleep, already resigned with the new incoming day. Four-thirty and he's closing the door behind him, still in the t-shirt he's sleeping in and slippers, with no destination in mind.

The young waiter finds himself recreating a path he's long forgotten about, the one he used to take almost every day when in middle school, one that leads from the school to his old childhood house, now sold to a young couple and their one kid. He looks at the fence where he fell and broke his nose when he was around 6, at the door which has his initials scratched on it, a small sign because he didn't want to get in trouble but his memory still knows its place. At the roses around the stairs which he and his parents planted, yellow ones for him, red ones for father and pink ones for his mother. Suddenly the hole in Baekhyun fills with longing, one so strong it's like it is eating him from the inside, so he moves along. The streets are so, so quiet, and he feels small and clueless again, as he's going back on the way he came from, like in his first days of middle school, when his parents would tell him to go alone, because he's a big boy now. This time only, his parents didn't take the time to tell him to go alone, and being a big boy leaves him no other choice. After turning a corner, the sound of an engine in the distance takes him out of his contemplation, senses now alert for the moment it will pass him by.

It doesn't immediately, Baekhyun has a feeling that the driver is keeping his distance on purpose, away enough not to scare but still following him, and his suspicions are confirmed when an enormous vehicle pulls up next to him. The dark window rolls down smoothly, "Need a ride?"

It's a voice he recognizes in a second, but he doesn't move from his place, "What time is it?"

"It's, uh...," a pause while Chanyeol checks the time, "almost six, why?"

"And where are you going?"

"Why don't you come in and find out yourself?" A reluctant look from the smaller,"come on, you must be freezing in this weather."

And he did. Baekhyun doesn't realize how cold he was until his body his the heated seats of Chanyeol's car and his whole starts to shiver violently. "What a child," the brunette tsks at him, "what are you doing in shorts?"

Baekhyun just shrugs, not liking being nagged at. "Hold on," Chanyeol turns around, to the backseat of his car and magically takes out a big jacket and a cap very much like the one he's wearing. While he drapes the jacket around him, Chanyeol eyes keep looking down until Baekhyun follows his line of vision, annoyed. Then he remembers, /oh/. Chanyeol is eyeing his bruised legs, especially knees with a hint of displeasure on his expressive face. The smaller braces himself for a question, lifts his chin higher, but the giant only drags the jacket lower, covering most of his legs too with the long cloth.

Baekhyun almost lets out a relieved sigh. But he doesn't, instead, he asks, "Where are you going?"

"Why, do you wanna come?" He shrugs.

"Don't you want me to take you home?" He shrugs again.

Chanyeol chuckles, "alright then, but you'll stay in the car."

They drive for a while, soft music playing in the background while an even softer murmur is heard from Chanyeol. Baekhyun almost feels like going back to sleep. But they get to the other part of the city, enter the field that ties it with their neighbor one, Baekhyun looks questioningly at the driver. "I'll be quick, I have to meet someone," he says as he's parking the car, the field seems empty at first but on a closer inspection Baekhyun makes out a black car parked not very far from them, blending in perfectly with the colours of the night.

He also spots two people, /men/ must be it, leaning against said car. "Stay in the car, okay?" Baekhyun half-nods as the taller is already shuffling, reaching for the backseat from where he brings a sealed box. He doesn't say anything, sticking to watching, waiting for the next move. Chanyeol seems to feel the eyes on him because he looks up from zipping his hoodie, gives him a grin. The waiter kind of expects Chanyeol to take out a gun too, in all the movies he's watched the bad guy always has a gun. But is Chanyeol the bad guy in this story?

During the times they've been together, there wasn't any sign of him being one, it's what he does that suggests him so. And as he's opening the door with only the box in hands, Baekhyun feels like he has to add, "You better not do anything stupid, I can't drive back on my own."

The smiles Chanyeol gives him this time is the brightest he'd seen so far.

Baekhyun can't help but watch from the window, knowing he's the only one that can see them from earlier when he tried to get a glimpse through the black surface. The two men are the definition of intimidating, their walk, the way they present themselves. But Chanyeol whose back is turned to him is as confident as ever, stroll lazy- there's something annoyingly provoking in every action of his. The music inside the car is lost on his ears as Baekhyun follows every move of theirs. Chanyeol starts to talk, he sees from the way his back is moving then talks some more, until his interlocutors lower their hands from their pockets, their shoulders drop, body language now open. Only then does Chanyeol hand over the box. Then it's over, they part with polite smiles, like they've been friends all their life.

When the gang member is back inside, he notices something's changed in Baekhyun's attitude. His droopy eyes more open, attentive, curiosity swimming in them. Chanyeol almost feels proud of the interest he's woken up in the smaller. "So, breakfast?" he checks the time again, "It's still early but I know a place that's open." Baekhyun nods slowly this time.

Only after Chanyeol puts the car back on the road and turns up the radio, whispering along to a Daft Punk song, does he realise how easily he's given in, when he doesn't even know the man, when he's got work in about 2 hours and shouldn't even be outside at this hour.

Chanyeol keeps throwing casual questions while his eyes remain on the road, like is it too hot, is it cold now, is Baekhyun hungry, does he know the street they're on. But the smaller only hums to every question that comes his way, watching the other drive closely.

"You know, Baekhyun," this takes him out of his dream-like state, "those fierce eyes of yours will get you into serious trouble one day," he remarks with no malice whatsoever, almost fond.

Baekhyun scoffs, "What more can they do?"

The place Chanyeol knows turns out to be a gas station that also has a little dinner in the back, and apart from them and the boy by the counter/waiter the place is deserted. Chanyeol asks for a ton of food, fried eggs, bacon, salad, and a double omelet. Baekhyun doesn't want anything, says he's not hungry. They're left alone, old music playing in the room, yet everything's so silent they can hear their own breathing. The stare contest is back between them, but then again, it never completely leaves. Both men are lost in thought deep into each others eyes, like they're waiting for the other to take the lead. Baekhyun breaks the silence for once. "So what do you actually do, Chanyeol?" Said boy acts surprised, "Me? I do a lot of things," Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

"Okay, okay, geez, you're so easy to tease," Baekhyun let's out a displeased grunt, "I'm in charge of diplomacy, so...I basically seal deals and everything in between, that's pretty much all,"

"So you don't use badass fight moves to defeat your rivals? That's disappointing." The smaller teases back, annoyed by the previous comment and this earns him a loud laugh from Chanyeol. A really loud one, head thrown back, hands going for the table like he's just said the funniest joke. Baekhyun watches with the shadow of a smile of his own, the sigh too much to remain unmoved by it. The waiter brings their food, and this makes Chanyeol stop his ridiculous laughing. "No, I like to think I'm good enough with my words," he says after they're left alone again.

The casual comment takes Baekhyun's mind to darker places again. He's wondering after it if that's all Chanyeol's been doing with him too, sweet-talk him and rely on his words. He feels like a fool. And when Chanyeol begins eating and asks Baekhyun to help him finish it because he's suddenly not that hungry, eyes too confident to be asking an actual question, just playing along to something he orchestrated, because he knew Baekhyun wouldn't agree with him paying, he feels like the biggest fool. "Can I ask you some question too?

Baekhyun nods, but everything about him is stiff and closed off now, Chanyeol notices too. Everything was fine a minute ago, what happened? He can't help but wonder if it was his laugh that did it, suddenly feeling insecure about the way he's always added too much gesture in the way he laughs. Maybe Baekhyun noticed that too? Instead, he continues, "How old are you?"

The blond seems puzzled by the too simple question, "I'm 24, why? How old are you?"

"I'll be 28 this November."

Disbelief, "thought you were younger than me," Baekhyun adds softly.

He feels worse now, because what would a man want, if not to play with him, why would he be wasting his time? He shrinks more on himself, under the big jacket covering him that still smells like its owner.

"Come on, eat up, it'll get cold," Chanyeol nudges the hand that remains idle on the table, holding his fork, "what did you want to become as a kid, Baekhyun?"

He begins eating, only to give himself something to do, to keep his mind busy, "I...don't know? I wanted to be a vet, I think." He speaks softly, between little chews.

"You like animals?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have any?"

"Yeah."

Chanyeol's eyes light up. "Me too!" he exclaims lively, resting his elbows on the table, face coming closer, "my dog's name is Toben, he's the goodest boy, I tell you," he chuckles, "you seem like a cat person, is that right?" Baekhyun gives him a disbelieving look, "How can you even-" he shakes his head, "yeah, I got my childhood cat living with me, his name is Brown Paw."

Chanyeol nods to everything he's saying, eager to show he's listening, "Oh, an oldie," he keeps pushing food to Baekhyun's side of the place, and it doesn't go unnoticed by the latter, "are you trying to get me fat enough so I won't run away when you finally kidnap me, Chanyeol?"

The taller plays along, "No, I'm making sure you won't get blown off when stronger winds will come," he prompts, eyes filled with mirth, "seriously, I have arms bigger than your legs, you need this food." Baekhyun murmurs his last sentence mockingly as he takes another bite.

Chanyeol takes him home after, because he's running late for extra-hours that start at 9, but not before he makes sure Baekhyun eats everything on his plate, very much like an annoying grandma would do. Baekhyun feels full, he doesn't remember the last time he ate in the morning used to have a meal a day when the restaurant is closing and they take everything left home. He won't say it out loud, but he almost feels cared for, his body warm.

• • • • • •

The fifth day passes in a blur and before he knows it he's home, with leftover food he feeds his cat, spread out on the too-small couch. Dongjun doesn't come back that night.

The next day he's always on the edge, expecting Dongjun to show up any minute, or Chanyeol, because the latter would come by too every once in a while. Neither do, and the day goes uneventful. Baekhyun feels like both men are playing with him, the thought that he's a fool preset in his mind every time he allows himself to be vulnerable, that's why he prefers too stay away from anything and anyone, to keep feeling sure of himself.

At night, when it's closing hours, they get announced that the place's been booked for tomorrow, for a high school reunion. Baekhyun gets picked for it. Dongjun doesn't come that night either.

Before he knows it it's tomorrow, Saturday again, and he's ironing his best white shirt/the only one he has actually/ for the event. These ex-students seem to be from a very rich institute, if Baekhyun being looked down from the first moments he goes to introduce himself to the tables he's assigned to isn't any indication.

He remains next to the table, back straight, looking ahead, ready to take any request they might have. But that doesn't mean he can't feel their judging stares, they burn through him. Suddenly, he's being reminded just how low he is, his cheap eyeliner and thrift stored jeana a rough contrast, not blending with the general atmosphere of the place and all the pretty people filling it. But Baekhyun is a professional.

However, not long into the afternoon, when he's tuned out of every conversation, just staring through the glass walls of the restaurant, a movement outside catches his eyes. A movement that looks very much like a tall man he knows, his black attire giving him away.

He excuses himself to the two tables he's in between and rushes outside, taking the big shadow with him in the part where there's no glass once he steps out. The other jolts at the sudden touch, they never touched before, the smaller seemed to take 3 steps back only at the sigh of Chanyeol getting close to him, but there he is now, ushering through his teeth, so close to his face, "Chanyeol, there's a gigantic sign on the door, we're closed for today, what are you doing here?"

"I was bored and wanted to see you, what else?" the annoying giants rounds his eyes even more, attempting a puppy face, "those people don't seem like fun at all, want me to keep you company?"

"You can't get in, it's private," Chanyeol laughs, "Wanna bet?"

"You won't, Chanyeol." The taller is fake hurt now, "the faith you have you me...," he shakes his head, "fine, give me some names, I'll show you." Baekhyun doesn't believe a word he's saying, but he still gives him the names he caught until now from his tables, because the other is persistent, then he goes back inside.

But barely 10 minutes pass and he's inside, or is it another person? The hoodie he's so fond of is now gone, it's the first time Baekhyun's seeing Chanyeol's whole legs, and damn are they /long/. It's also the first time Baekhyun's seeing Chanyeol's upper body when it's not hidden by the large hoodie drowning him. Now in a dress shirt that has the sleeves rolled up, the sleeve tattoo he didn't know Chanyeol even had is out in the open, and it seems that his attention isn't the only one stolen by the handsome man. Plenty of eyes turn.

But that doesn't bother the tall man, his smile grows, "God, the traffic is horrible, I didn't think I could make it, I almost lost my flight," he says once he's near the table Baekhyun is next to, after he greeted everyone in, earning some confused replies, some interested ones.

He doesn't acknowledge the waiter. "I'm so sorry guys, I didn't even confirm my seat, the weather was so bad in the north I didn't think I could leave," he turns to Baekhyun then, "excuse me," a smile, "can you please get another chair for me?"

He's bullshitting so much, Baekhyun is actually afraid, embarrassed, waiting for the moment he'd be called out. But he complies, throwing Chanyeol an incredulous look in the process. A blonde woman speaks up, "Excuse me, but, can you tell us your name again? I'm not sure we remember you."

She looks softer than she's ever looked at Baekhyun, clearly interested in the taller. The crazy bastard. "Oh, of course, you wouldn't," he scratches his head sheepishly, "I'm Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol. I used to be very chubby back then, with glasses and all," the woman furrows her eyebrows, ''I was in a band? Do you guys remember? An indie one, we did covers?" he looks everyone in the eyes, demanding approval, Baekhyun recognizes some behavior that's been used on him before as well. And he succeeds, because another man adds,

"Jaemin's one?" Chanyeol's head snaps in that direction lively, "Yes! Wow, someone remembers us, I feel proud now," he chuckles and the woman is quick to add, "but you've changed so much, Chanyeol." He smirks, "For the better, I hope."

Charming is the only word that could describe Chanyeol right now, as everyone is dancing and he's blending in the crowd, but still stands out.

He's dancing with everyone, taking group pictures, individual pictures when he's asked by his "classmates" that apparently missed him so much. Baekhyun wonders, if he didn't know the real story, would he be fooled too? Is he being fooled right now by the charming man, in a bigger story he knows nothing about? He wonders a lot of things, not like he has something better to do, now that everyone is up and he's left standing idle next to the tables.

But Chanyeol has other plans, because every once in a while, when he's changing partners or stops telling stories he's probably made up as well, he throws Baekhyun secretive glances, sneaky smiles that the latter doesn't return, but he's not giving up. Chanyeol seems to have a high alcohol tolerance, and a knack for getting others drunk, if the pretty woman which attention he's caught at the beginning of the night, now hanging off his arm with glazed eyes is any indication. Was this was he was trying to do with him as well? That night he offered drinks? Baekhyun should stop wondering.

They meet in the bathroom sometime after. Baekhyun goes for a break when no one looks like they'll come back to their seats any time soon, and the door he's just closed 3 minutes ago opens slowly. They make eye contact through the mirror while Baekhyun is fixing his make-up. Chanyeol grins, "Has anyone told you how pretty you look tonight yet?" they're standing next to each other now, looking in the mirror, but neither at his own reflexion. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, "You're crazy." Chanyeol turns to him, a little too close in the deserted bathroom the strong alcohol on his breath hitting Baekhyun's face, but he doesn't step back, just cranes his head to see him better, "No but, I mean it," the giant continues, "Told you I'd get in, didn't I?"

"What if they didn't believe you? What would you have done then?"

"They did, so why should I be concerned anymore?" Baekhyun shakes his head, "You're so careless," Chanyeol chuckles, "Can I ask you to dance with me?"

"No, if you want me to keep my job, you can't," the taller pouts, he has the audacity to /pout/, "Then later, would you dance with me later?"

"Why?"

"Just because. So, what do you say?"

"I have to get back Chanyeol," then he turns around. "I didn't hear a "no"!" He shouts after him, grinning like he had already won.

But midnight is nearing and people begin to scatter, Chanyeol changes companions from the blonde who leaves with a disappointed frown when the man refuses to leave the party together, to a tall brunette that seems more daring than the previous woman, but still gets turned down in the end, to a young-looking man. However, Chanyeol's eyes don't stay away from Baekhyun for too long, always finding their way back one way or another.

It's when everyone leaves around 1:30 that Baekhyun bids goodbye to his co-workers, because he's staying behind to clean up the place, he gets paid extra for it.

Barely 2 minutes of him unbuttoning the too tight shirt pass when a black mass of hair appears from the door of the bathroom. He thought he left a short while ago, he and everyone present, maybe that's why he did it, "Is everyone gone?" Baekhyun nods, "You should leave too, it's pretty late."

Chanyeol's eyes grow disbelieving big, "What are you saying? I'm here to help," he gets closer, and his eyes fall on the smaller's chest, now exposed, and the still fading bruises, still pink scratches from above his nipples and collarbones, they're exposed too. He can fell the air around them switch, Chanyeol's eyes trailing back to his face, "Button up your shirt, we have a lot of trash to throw out and it's chilly outside," he claps his hands and the bright Chanyeol is back, "Come on, let's go, I have a dance promised after all," he's teasing, and Baekhyun bites back a sarcastic scoff as he's bringing garbage bags from the back.

Of course, the silly boy in a man's body as Baekhyun has concluded, can't stay in silence for too long, and as they're cleaning their second table, he brings forward a question, which earns a shrug from Baekhyun, so he does it. He takes his phone out and puts on his old music, songs that Baekhyun could never think of listening to alone. Now a soft rock ballad is playing, and the taller is singing it to him at a spoon, one he uses to scoop off the food from his share of plates when the guitar comes on.

"Have you eaten today, Baekhyun?" they're done with the leftovers, now secured in a separate bag for his cat at home, and with taking out the trash. Tablecloths are all pilled up in the back, ready to be taken to the laundromat tomorrow, and a song he recognizes, one from the rolling stones is playing in the background, "Not yet, I was actually planning to when I'll go home," he recalls the food waiting for him in the kitchen, the extra one he always gets at the end of the day. "You didn't eat anything until now?" Chanyeol shakes his head, "this kid,"

"Let's eat!" Baekhyun doesn't like this kind of enthusiasm, because it seems it is the first step of getting him what he wants, "Chanyeol, seriously, I'm not that hungry," he is now, the last glass of water got his stomach roaring, and Chanyeol knows it too, he's heard it.

"Come on, take a break, we can clean the floor later," he's already taking the mop out of the waiter's hands, Baekhyun sighs, "Come in the kitchen, I don't wanna clean the table again," Chanyeol follows.

They're at the small table inside the kitchen, and Chanyeol's music doesn't stop, it gets slower and lower instead. He doesn't like how much the tall man is looking at him, he can't even focus, but he doesn't open his mouth to tell him to stop either. Just looks at him from under his lashes after a bite that he thinks he's chewed wrong, checking to see if something's changed in the other's gaze. It doesn't.

Chanyeol's refusing his food, doesn't want something to drink either, he seems content like this, and Baekhyun wonders again what's inside his head, because nothing he does for him, a stranger, makes sense, "What kind of music do you like?" Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, "I don't listen to music that often, whatever is on the radio, I guess," Chanyeol fake gasps, "Movies? TV shows?" the smaller shakes his head. "Poor child, I'm so sorry," his expressive eyes find his again, and they hold a lot of teasing, a smirk ready to form in the corner of his mouth, "Ha ha, stop, I'm dying of laughter, how can you be so funny?" Baekhyun deadpans with a straight face, but his full mouth takes away from his credibility, "Guess I'm born with it."

Somehow, Chanyeol's eyes get droopier while Baekhyun finishes his food, the alcohol he had all through the night winning against the late hour, "Chanyeol?"

"Hm?"

"Are you tired?" he stands up now, done, and the taller follows, "A bit, yeah," he's shamelessly looking Baekhyun up and down now, eyes never going back on his face even as he asks,

"What is it like, being a waiter? Your uniform looks very tight, isn't it uncomfortable?" this takes Baekhyun aback. He thinks if he should answer, or just brush it off. Why would Chanyeol ask such a personal question anyway? But the air around them feels cozier now, them both blinking in the same slowed way, no one bothering to turn away from the long stare, resigned. He doesn't know where his answer came from, or why is he talking, "It's... physically and mentally draining,"

Chanyeol nods, "I have one-year-old blisters that would probably remain there forever," he tries to joke, but it comes out too bitter, "but the tiredness goes numb after a while, you can get used to it," the giant's round eyes are shining brighter than all the light bulbs combined, "On the other hand, you can never get used to coming here and feeling like the lowest kind of low, that is really tiring," he feels a new kind of low whenever he goes home to Dongjun though, this has become nothing to him, but he doesn't add on further. Chanyeol thinks for a while, you can see it on his whole face, "then why do you still do it?"

"The tips are good," Baekhyun shrugs, "besides the monthly payment, there's everyday money that comes with it."

"What do you need the money for?" Baekhyun detaches. His tonality changes. He just shrugs.

"Right," Chanyeol mumbles more to himself, "let's go, only the floor left and you're done," he goes first, bringing up the mood with his excessive intonation, but that might be his intention after all. But Baekhyun is done sooner than that, because hardly one-minute passes and the other snatches the mop from his hands, going on about places he's missed and patterns he's messed up. All this talk for a floor. Then they're closing up, everything back in order, and Baekhyun walks Chanyeol home, since it's apparently not far from the restaurant and in his direction. When they part, Chanyeol is quick to remind him of the dance he still owes him. Baekhyun shakes his head fondly at the man's behavior.

On the way home, he feels strangely light-headed, even though he hasn't tasted even a bit of alcohol. Maybe that's why he misses the car parked not very far from him. Maybe he should have, because now he would be surprised when he finds Dongjun asleep on his couch, naked, with his cat beside him. He's suffocating. But the man is asleep, and he moves around him with careful steps, settling in a corner when he's done getting ready for bed. What can he do when is bed is occupied. Brown Paws notices him first. He wakes up, shakes his fur, drops to the floor so loudly it echoes in the whole place. And the cat is not done, not when its owner is near and he's bringing food. No, it begins meowing. Baekhyun never's hated his cat until now.

He picks it up, tip toes to the corner where the kitchen is, Brown Paw gets louder until it finally gets the food. "Baekkie?" he doesn't have time to get back to his corner, barely turns around when the naked man is in front of him. Then in a split second, he's in his arms the smell of skin, the smell of a man chokes his senses, "I called you so many times, where have you been?" He's scenting him, his hair, neck, chest, they're all being touched, he can't breathe, "I missed you so much, so so much, Hyunee."

**trigger warning for rape**

He can feel Dongjun harden against him, then everything is a blur, he can't distinguish the moment his back hits the couch from the one the last piece of clothing leaves his body. Or when the cop turns him around. Baekhyun is trying to shut everything out, but he can only do so much. The voice in his ear doesn't help him, "I've been thinking about us Baekkie..." he forces himself in, and Baekhyun has to sink his face into the cushion until he can't breathe. He can't either way, and he won't give the man above him any satisfaction, even if every movement sends prickles through his whole body, he swears being burnt alive would hurt less. "Why don't you scream for me like you used to, baby?" he's yanking his head up by the hair, demanding an answer, "you looked so pretty, crying for me,"

He dives into him deeper, looking for a reaction, and Baekhyun pauses, holding his breath until he feels his face turning red, but no sound comes out, only then he turns his head, looking straight into Dongjun's eyes, "Is it in yet? I didn't notice." Baekhyun is very stupid. His mouth never helped him, that's why he preferred to be quiet. But tonight, a defiance sparkled in him, grew through the evening until he couldn't turn his back on it anymore. But he should have. Because gone are the loving touches on his back, the only sound is skin slapping on skin, as the one above him is ramming into him faster than ever. His face is back down on the couch, and he feels like he could scream forever and it wouldn't be enough. A bright pair of orbs briefly materialize before his eyes, and Baekhyun wonders what the owner of those eyes would think of him now, if he saw him like this. He feels disgusting.

• • • • • •

He doesn't go for extra hours in the morning, comes in at 9 when his shift starts in a worse mood than usual. He wouldn't, if it wasn't for his body reminding him of last night every time he moves. And he moves a lot, the place is loaded with people, everyone scurrying in for breakfast hour. Baekhyun feels like crying with every table that gets taken. But he can't, he hadn't in a while. It's just the sob that comes out, his face is ready, his throat aches, but no tears ever come out anymore. He wishes he could though, just to let it out.

"Baekhyun, table 8 requested for you, hurry up!" this takes him out of his contemplation, there are two people requesting for him usually, and he doesn't want to see neither at the moment, the hate he feels towards Dongjun somehow got associated with Chanyeol. But he's faced with none. Instead of the two familiar men, there's one he hasn't seen even once in his life, staring him down with a pair of ice cold eyes. The stranger doesn't talk, doesn't move anything but his gaze, doesn't acknowledge the waiter, even though he must know him since he was asked for specifically. The whole time Baekhyun comes and goes, there isn't a single word muttered by the man, only his pinning eyes that remain in his mind long after he's gone.

Dongjun comes in too, in his lunch break, and the proud smirk rounding his face when he sees the slight limp of the waiter makes the latter tune everything else out. And this passes too.

But when the sun is almost down and he comes face to face with the number one factor of his misery, the blond boy doesn't think this will pass that quickly. He's thought about it, in the back while washing dishes and having nothing better to do than ponder. And Baekhyun came to the conclusion that he shouldn't be this affected by last night's events, it wasn't the first time and probably not the last, he'd made peace with it. He /could/ take it. So why the sob threatening to escape his lips every time he was spoken to? The only thing that changed was Chanyeol, who's wormed his way into his life and he didn't even notice, too busy with the attention he was recieving. Chanyeol looks at him like he has no fault, like he's never done anything wrong in life, with clear eyes that only hold understanding. And Baekhyun is done for, because this all could be just an act, Chanyeol has many sides of him he hasn't shown, sides he's shown others that he didn't like, but the thought doesn't stop Baekhyun from bitting further on his lower lip in order to make it stop quivering now that they're in front of each other, because, before, he knew his place, knew that the only thing he's here for is work, and besides that nothing else mattered, now he also knows that he's afraid of the moment Chanyeol finds out just how low he's gotten, the moment he'll disappoint the man  
with understanding eyes. And he hates himself for it. In the end, nothing good comes out, not for him, not in this situation. But still, it feels so good, feeling cared for.

Chanyeol's eyes fall on his legs, and the tiny steps he's taking, "You're limping." It's not a question, but a strong, sure affirmation.

"And you're being nosy," Baekhyun deadpans, "chicken and mozzarella sticks?" Chanyeol's hard eyes don't lose their intensity, "actually, no, I'll have one coffee and one black tea," Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, "I'm on duty tonight, it will be a long one."

"Alright, won't you have anything to eat?" The taller coos at him, "Why? Are you worried for me?"

"No, I just want a bigger tip."

"Ouch," his hand goes to his chest, "You're heartless."

"Come keep me company tonight and I'll give you a big tip, what do you say?" he prompts more in jest than anything, but Baekhyun is quick to cut him off, "No, why would I?" and the smiling man turns serious, "because I enjoy your company, obviously,"

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, ''You're so full of shit, Chanyeol," the waiter leaves, going on with his tasks. But he still feels eyes on him, doesn't have to check even one, he's gotten used to them, know how they feel. And he feels just a little bad inside for the comforting feeling they give.

The end of the day comes, a busy Friday that leaves him drained. But Baekhyun is thankful though, because he can't feel any part of his body anymore. But when he hits the couch 20 minutes later, his senses are too alert to let him close his eyes like he'd been dreaming all day to do. Part of him wants to get up and clean, anything but to stay any minute on the only bed he has in his one room apartment, in the same place that brings back memories, Another part of him wants to repair the door's lock that seems to break monthly, old and rusty and beyond repair but he'd still try if that meant it'll keep him away from thinking some more. And he knows what he wants the most, and he's also close to giving in, as he's tossing and turning for the last time before he's up again.

His feet take him towards a warehouse he knows well, unconsciously, while he's still debating what he should do. Only when the night's air hits his almost bare legs does he realize that he's already made his decision. The clear air fills his lungs, it's freeing, and all Baekhyun knows now is that he doesn't want to go back inside where he won't be able to breathe again.

The big car and its big owner are there, Chanyeol is just throwing a backpack in the trunk when the front door creaks, then his attention is switched from his car to the thin clothed boy now outside, regarding him with his lost and serene eyes, "Fancy seeing you here,"

Baekhyun comes forward with his tiny steps, and Chanyeol has to keep his eyes away from the boy's legs once again, the feeling the fresh bruises from them awakens in him being far from pleasant. "Where are you going?" The waiter asks, when they're face to face.

"Not very far from here, wanna come?"

Baekhyun tilts his head, purses his lips, "I don't trust you, Chanyeol." And still, he's inside the car the second after, followed by the latter. They go to the port, 10 minutes and they're leaving the car, Baekhyun follows after the gang member until they reach a cabin boat, to which Chanyeol motions, "I'm guarding this tonight,'" Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, "why?" The taller raises his finger to his lips. They go inside the cabin, "Because it's leaving tomorrow," this irritates Baekhyun, "but why does it need guarding?"

"It doesn't, what's inside does," perhaps the idea of punching Chanyeol and his smug face surfaces briefly in Baekhyun's mind, perhaps. "Let's stay outside, what do you say?" The smaller nods and steps out from the threshold he was previously standing on.

Chanyeol follows after, balancing two blankets in one hand and two beers in the other. He stalls in the door though, opting to watch Baekhyun some more because the sight is simply too demanding. He's half-turned to the sea, his profile half-hidden, but the beauty he always holds is still visible to Chanyeol. The small man has his gaze locked on the sky, moist lips parted, letting out puffs of air while his eyelashes seem to flutter in tandem with the waves echoing around them. The t-shirt he came down in is a little too big for him, a little too revealing, and his skinny collarbone screams "fragile" at Chanyeol, who wants to do nothing but feed him until there won't be only skin clinging to his bones like it does now.

He choughs, Baekhyun turns around and the big eyes are now back to normal, looking at the beer in his hands, "Aren't you supposed to be on duty tonight?"

Chanyeol challenges back, "Does it look like I'm leaving?" he puts the beers down, throws one blanket off with them, "Take this, it's cold," he hands the other blanket to Baekhyun, then proceeds to spread out the one on the floor, "What about you?" Chanyeol is already seated, "I'm not the one in shorts."

Baekhyun takes the blanket without much fight, he must have been cold, Chanyeol smiles proudly, "So, why are you here?" Baekhyun shrugs, he sits down with a wince, Chanyeol looks away, "Aren't you tired?"

"I am but..." he lies down, face to the sky now, "I can't sleep, I don't know why, really," Chanyeol copies his position, but his eyes don't stay on the stars, prefer to look at the boy next to him instead.

Neither says anything, but Chanyeol is humming with his low voice, like he always does when there's silence between them. Baekhyun closes his eyes. The taller is still watching him, eyes never trailing from his face, and the movement makes him change the song. It's a slower one now, Baekhyun recognizes this one, it's Don't cry from guns and roses, he grew up with this song. But Chanyeol doesn't get to finish it, because, halfway through it, Baekhyun's breath evens out- the boy falls asleep. The taller chuckles breathily and turns on his back.

It doesn't take him long to jolt awake though, he does with a gasp, looks around him, then his eyes focus back on Chanyeol, "Chanyeol, can I ask you something? But please tell me the truth this time," he continues after worrying his lower lip for some time, turning on his side to face him. "Sure."

"Why are you doing this?" The boy gets straight to the point, and Chanyeol turns back to face him too. He doesn't need further explanation on "this", Baekhyun can see it on him, because there isn't any confusion, just a slight grimace. Chanyeol sits up and reaches for the cans of beer, he opens one and gives one to a sleepy Baekhyun, then he sits upright, turning fully to the waiter once again, "You remind me of someone very dear to me." Baekhyun opens his beer too, it surprises him, "you see, he was a pain in the ass too."

Baekhyun is ready to fight, he opens his mouth, Chanyeol chuckles, "But a good kid, I grew him up myself, he was like a little brother to me." They both have a sip from the cans, Baekhyun slowly, with his pretty fingers reaching for his lips after, Chanyeol gulps it down, "and he went through a lot like you too," Baekhyun's face hardens, "His dad is one of us, so the kid always came by too, said he wanted to train to be just like me and his father when he'll grow up," he takes another sip, "but he didn't get the chance to, because he committed suicide at 15," Chanyeol lowers his head, "one of his teachers was abusing him and he's been too ashamed to tell anyone, we only found out after."

Baekhyun unconsciously shifts closer to the taller, tasting his beer again. That when he's reminded he forgot to eat today, when the quarter of beer already makes his head feel clouded. "And, you know," Chanyeol continues, "I will never forget the look in his eyes the last two days, his eyes looked like a dead man's," he lowers his head towards Baekhyun, until eye level, "You have that look in yours too."

They're face to face, Baekhyun raises his chin higher, defiance where it shouldn't be, he knows, but he can't help it, "So you're seeing me as a little brother too? You're doing this because you feel guilty?"

"No, Baekhyun, I see you as a man," he has to look away from Chanyeol, because the intensity of his eyes along with the implication behind his words are terrifying to him, "And I see something in you, you have potential,"

"Potential for what?" He mumbles, still looking past him, "For anything you want to." Baekhyun shakes his head, "You're wasting your time Chanyeol, I have nothing to offer, you don't even know me, I'm not who you think I am," he puts his can down, already feeling his body and his mind dissociating, like he's watching them from afar, even though he's still there, too close with Chanyeol but he can't seem to mind, or to move away.

"I know I see a lot of fight in you." It's frustrating, he feels like crying out of embarrassment and unfairness, because he feels like Chanyeol is being unfair, getting close to him, getting him to feel, getting him vulnerable when he's tried so hard not to be.

"Would you rather bend or break, Baekhyun?" Said boy is unfocused, maybe that's why he misses the fond expression given towards him.

"I..." He's so tired. Of questions like this, of always measuring the words given to him, of taking out any possible hidden meaning behind them, of measuring the ones he gives back, and what they could imply, how they could be held against him. It's always like this with Chanyeol, and Baekhyun is honestly exhausted of his too high walls, because they're hard to maintain.

He's good at math. He saw himself studying engineering. Never good with words, and twisting them. But he tries his best for Chanyeol. "I would break in a second if it wasn't for others breaking along with me."

Chanyeol makes sure to express his disagreement with his whole face, as he's finishing his beer, his eyebrows come together, lips pursed, "You can do so much more than that, I know it," Baekhyun sighs.

And they don't add anything else, still turned to each other, knees almost touching if it wasn't for the blanket shielding Baekhyun that adds an extra layer between them. Their eyes start a dangerous dance next, mapping the one in front of them. Baekhyun goes from the plump lips in front of him, to the mole sitting on the man's nose, a mole he's never noticed before, to flushed cheeks, to big, round eyes, eyes that contain so much light, and hope, eyes full of secrets but at the same time holding a lot of answers. Pretty eyes he could get lost in. Eyes that are counting moles right now as well, mesmerized just the same,

"Stop staring," Baekhyun is the first to break the silence.

"You first," Chanyeol replies in a whisper, breath smelling of alcohol hitting his face, and the warmth feels comforting.

"No," The younger doesn't know what he's trying to do, or why, one thing he's sure of, he's enjoying this, this attention, as he's slightly swaying, he can't help but anticipate what the man would say next.

His breathing seems to rival the waves around them, or is it Chanyeol's? When Chanyeol speaks again, Baekhyun can feel the vibrations of his voice rumbling through his body also, the gruff sound scratching at his ears to be let inside, to take up residence in his mind, "What are you thinking about?"

"You first," just like he's been told before, Baekhyun replies in the same manner, on the edge of teasing but still too soft for that.

"Do you really want to know?"

Baekhyun nods.

"I'm thinking about how badly I want to kiss you right now." The man murmurs slowly, unrushed, looking straight into the other's eyes like they've got all the time in the world.

"Please don't-" he manages to whimper out fast, every doubt and fear he's having at the moment being poured into the two simple words, Baekhyun's ashamed and wants to hide, because he knows that even if he'd never be as brave to admit it, the same thought was clouding his mind.

"Don't worry," Chanyeol blows his hair off his eyes with a soft blow, a sincere chuckle, "I won't."

Baekhyun has a big ego. Or used to have until it got stomped on and crushed to extinction. Chanyeol looks to have none, as he's back with his humming, back to staring up at shining orbs that seem to resemble him. Baekhyun drops back down on his back, "You're so unfair, Chanyeol."

Said male looks around one more time, checks something unknown to Baekhyun, then comes back down next to him, turned on his side, face crushed on his right arm but it still looks good on him, Baekhyun thinks, "How so?"

"You just are," Baekhyun grumbles, eyes closed. He hears everything distorted now, either too far or too close, and he doesn't know if he should blame the little sleep he got in those past 2 days, the little beer he had, or both.

"How old were you again, Baekhyunee?" he talks in a small voice, like how you would to a child.

Baekhyun opens his eyes but it's everything blurry. He hates the name used. "You're unfair for coming into my life now, and being the way you are towards me," he hopes he's making sense in what he's trying to express, "And you're /very/ unfair for pretending to be this perfect guy for me, who showed up at the perfect time," he turns his head to Chanyeol, eyes who were already waiting for his, "and for dragging this thing out," Baekhyun sighs, "And you're shivering so much yet you're staying there letting me take all the blanket," he's just rambling now, as he's shuffling closer to the man. He unwraps the fluffy material from around him and throws one side ungracefully over the long body of Chanyeol, who's laughing at him now, "You're so annoying." Baekhyun complains on.

"And what if I'm not pretending?" Chanyeol only picks that part to address to, and it frustrates him even move, "I won't believe it." Baekhyun's closing his eyes again, then murmurs as he's getting comfortable after cold air sneaked in during the previous moments. Chanyeol doesn't argue further, and it only takes Baekhyun a few moments of silence and he's out like a light.

But Baekhyun doesn't really sleep, Chanyeol finds out that night. If he's not turning or tossing, he's jumping in his sleep. If he's not jumping in his sleep, he's clutching either the blanket or Chanyeol with his hand. If not that, he's jolting awake, looking around in his state of unconsciousness then falls back in. It's a restless sleep he's getting, But a constant are the noises. Baekhyun whines, winces, whimpers, grumbles, sighs, cries out. The dead of the night gives resonance to all the sounds, and it's honestly terrifying.

Chanyeol can't fall asleep, so he's left with no other option than to watch. He's a tilt of his head away from Baekhyun's hair, from the last position the smaller settled in. His blonde hair is faded now, and the roots reveal his black natural hair. And even from distance, Chanyeol can feel the smell of food the smaller collected from the restaurant through the day, but it doesn't stop him from doing that head tilt in the end. It's a bad idea, because Baekhyun jumps so hard in his sleep minutes after, Chanyeol considers himself lucky when he still has teeth left after it, and the whimpering changes to soft sighs. Chanyeol wants to reach out, to comfort the boy next to him when he knows his touches would be anything but comforting. He doesn't.

What he does is reach out carefully, under the blanket, for a dainty hand, just the tips of his fingers doing the work until they come in contact with the first ice cold hand of the sleeping boy. Baekhyun is the type of person to have cold hands. Chanyeol covers the delicate hand with his, the owner pulls it back with a whine. Chanyeol doesn't mind. But the owner brings the hand back after, searching with much less delicacy than Chanyeol did previously, until he find the lost spot, Chanyeol much bigger hand and shoves his in it. The boy remains asleep while doing so. Chanyeol wants to laugh. Typically Baekhyun. But he doesn't, he starts drawing circles inside the palm on the given hand, then caresses the back of it, repeating the process until he's lost in thought.

It's always a guessing game with Baekhyun, he feels like walking on eggshells every time he assumes and tries to do something. But he's proud of the confidence he's got. It worked so far, and Chanyeol is glad that he's got the boy next to him like this.

He doesn't realize it when his hand stops playing with Baekhyun's palm, and it's long into the tranquil silence of the night when he notices their fingers are now intertwined, and the movement of the smaller's part. Baekhyun is moving his thumb over his knuckles just like he did. Chanyeol realizes that the noise stopped not long ago, "You're awake?" Baekhyun hums in agreement, and when he speaks up, is voice his hoarse and raspy, "-should go home,"

Chanyeol nods, "I'll take you," Baekhyun still has his eyes closed, "Shouldn't you be staying on the boat?"

"It won't sink without me for 15 minutes, I'm sure," he tugs gently, still aware of their fingers, "come on," Baekhyun grumbles, but he slowly shakes the sleep off and pushes up to his feet. His hand is sweaty and cold now, after it got used to the other one in his, and he runs it over his face as the taller follows him up. "Thank you for staying with me tonight, Baekhyun."

Just like any tomorrow, this one comes too, it never asks if it can, and Baekhyun would like to have the power to stop time, even if just for a little while, to bask in the momentary contentment Chanyeol's presence gives. But there he is, barely 2 hours after, waking up because he forgot to change his alarm clock to Saturday schedule. His Saturday shift starts later than usual, but he can't go back to sleep once he opens his eyes.

It's strange to have so much time, Baekhyun doesn't know how to use it. He makes normal coffee instead of the instant one for once, makes two of them because he has the time to drink it. Changes Brown Paw's litter, vacuums his one room, and by 9 Baekhyun finds himself hanging out the window with a rag in his hand, trying to get the window's spot he always misses. It's confusing, he doesn't feel anything at all, no negative feeling that should be hanging on his shoulders like it always does, just a blank space where something used to be.

It comes back not long after he's back at work. People visiting their small town are a nightmare. They come with their big city arrogance, standards and requests and nothing can really please them. Baekhyun tries, really, the big tips are something he can't say no to, but some people just never heard of saying please, of addressing him any other way than "boy", he can only take so much degradation until the foul feeling is back inside him. Dongjun doesn't come by today. Baekhyun hopes he won't tonight either. The hours tick by slowly, but they do. Walking home, nothing seems out of order, putting aside the occasional shouts that are always present in this part of the city, or the dogs barking. But when something snaps behind him, something sounding very much like a knuckle, Baekhyun is left watching with the corner of his eyes the hooded figure stalking close to him. How didn't he notice sooner? Baekhyun has two options, run, and surely be followed after, or keep walking like he didn't notice anything and surely be followed after too. But he's always looking for trouble, or at least that's what he suggests when he bruptly turns around and regards the one behind him with a cold scowl, "Who are you?"

But the other just gets closer. Baekhyun can't make anything out, just the fact that he's tall. "Look, if you want money you came to the wrong person, just leave me alone," Baekhyun wants to turn around and sprint, but it's like the one next to him senses his intentions, because a hand is grabbing him the second he takes a step.

"No, you're coming with me," the man says, and the voice is unfamiliar to Baekhyun.

His blood boils, "Like hell I am, let go!" he takes his arm back, body defensive now, "who the fuck are you?"

"Ahhh, just shut up already," the man makes to grab him again, but Baekhyun is smaller and quicker, he takes his foot right between the other's legs, then he's gone like the wind. He runs, runs fast, but his body can't take much, he feels his legs snapping, bones not used to any other movement than walking. The air in his lungs is scarce, just like his vision is blurry. He's reminded that he forgot to eat again. The only thing he can't hear is his heart drumming in his ears, other sounds closed out, no matter how hard he tries to listen for any indication that he's being followed. He shouldn't be, he made sure to kick hard. But with his luck, it isn't that big of a suprise when a hand creeps from behind him- covers his mouth.

"Listen-" he tries to mumble over the hand, but something pointy in his back takes from his courage.

"Move." The man says, and he does. The gravity of the situation starts to sink in only when he's ushered towards a building later, it suddenly feels too real, and his mind can't come up with a plan, one that would work for him now that he's in an alley he doesn't know, with a pocket knife scratching at his back when he begins to walk slower. By the time the man closes the door behind them and roughly shoves him further in, Baekhyun has to keep his hands gripping tight on his thighs to stop them from shaking. The door clicks. The unknown man turns and now in the artificial light, where he can see the pair of eyes above a black mask, Baekhyun feels like he'd seen these sharp eyes before, but he doesn't know where.

"Sit," he motions over to the chairs in the- living room? They're in, while he peels the mask off his face, throws his beanie somewhere near. That's when it clicks for Baekhyun. This is the same strange man that asked for him at the restaurant, the one that knew his name.

This turn makes Baekhyun gain part of his courage back, he raises his chin higher, mimics the look he's recieving from the man, not moving from his place.

"What a brat you are." A mocking voice comes, and his kidnapper shakes his head as he sends Baekhyun with pushes on his shoulder over to the chair.

"What do you want from me?" His voice is steady and he's just a little relieved that the uneasiness he feels doesn't escape him. The man studies him for a while, head to toe, and this new light on his face puts a new perspective on his features. He looks younger, calling him a brat when in reality he's the one that looks just like an angry child now, studying Baekhyun with his malicious eyes.

"Who are you, Baekhyun?" Baekhyun's eyes go big. He gives the best incredulous look he has, and he is in the right to do so, in this ridiculous situation.

"Are you serious?" He spits out, annoyed and tired of this already.

He's cut off, "What do you really do?" Baekhyun opens his mouth to argue, "And what do you want from Chanyeol?" 

The name that spills out from the stranger's lips takes him by suprise, it closes his mouth. _Chanyeol_. Of course. He is a fool. Betrayal tastes bitter in his mouth, but it feels worse in his chest- betrayal from Chanyeol, who is associated with the man in front of him, man who still has his knife out at him, and from himself, for being so weak and desperate for any warmness that he's left someone he barely knows hold him, wrap him in comforting lies.

"I've got nothing to do with Chanyeol." His mouth feels heavy, the words coming out forced, but his name is the worst to say.

"Liar!" It was the wrong thing to say, because the angry expression turns ice cold. "What did you do to him, hm?" The other grabs his arm, shaking for any reaction, but all that Baekhyun has to give is a blank stare, "What lies did you tell to make him trust you this fast?"

He's still shaking, "I didn't tell him anything," Baekhyun surpasses a wince, the man grips tighter, "Stop fucking lying!"

This man has a bad temper.

"I've got nothing to do with Chanyeol," the shorter's head is still held high, but something inside, tamed by the grip on him is telling him to let go.

"I don't like liars," The man's face is close, "You better tell me what you want from him, who do you work for?"

"I- what?"

"Who sent you?" Baekhyun can feel the bruise already, but the man doesn't let go, "He took you on his errands, how did you do it?" He whispers the next part, mocking and degrading, "You're letting him fuck you? Is that it?"

Baekhyun's skin crawls just at the thought of them two like that. "What?" His tone is more on the angry side now, the other's implications awakened something in him. The man shoves him back in the chair, let's go, "What, what part can't you understand?" he raises his voice, "Answer me!"

"I don't know what you want me to say!" The smaller shots back-

"Sehun?" A third voice joins them, belonging to a tanned man, one who's eyes go abnormally big at the sight of Baekhyun, "What did you do? Sehun, did you kidnap a kid?" He's alerted, hands going for his pocket in search of something, but they stop when said Sehun opens his mouth again, "He is no kid," he sighs, "this is Baekhyun."

"Oh?" Interest sparks in the newcomer, he's now analysing everything the boy in question has with unreadable eyes. Baekhyun wants to shrink in on himself, "I expected him to be... different."

They're talking as if he's not even in the room- he's nothing to them, and Baekhyun feels confused once again at what they know and he doesn't, about Chanyeol and what he's told them about him.

"You know how he is, with his weird need to play the therapist," Sehun rolls his eyes, then he's suddenly serious again, speaking towards Baekhyun too now, "Chanyeol's got a soft heart, but I don't. And I don't trust you," he's poiting a finger at his chest, "I want you to stay away from him."

Baekhyun grits out next, "Gladly."

"One more thing," Sehun in leaning his hands on both the chair's armrests, towards him, "Chanyeol won't find out about this, right?" Baekhyun stares at him, full of disdain, "I said," he's impossibly closer to his face, his breath smelling of cigarette smoke, "he won't find out, right?"

It's a thought that's been surfacing Baekhyun's mind since earlier. His mouth is dry, but he manages to gain enough saliva, and then he spits on his face, scowl on, eyes shining with defiance. Sehun is stunned to say the least. Baekhyun can see his face turning red, the vein on his temple coming out, demanding attention. He is fuming. He is also raising his fist up with a growl, Baekhyun sees it coming towards him, until he closes his eyes and braces himself to feel it too. But it doesn't land in the end.

Tanned man is fast to react, and strong, he's gripping Sehun's hand back, "Hun, stop,"

"Didn't you see what the little shit did?"

"I did, but Chanyeol won't be happy to hear you hit him," Sehun glares at him, "besides, you have to admit you were an ass."

The childlike expressions are back, the hurt kid who didn't get what he wanted look Sehun gives the other is an authentic copy, "Fuck you." And just like that he turns around and leaves the room.

The one left standing in the room turns to him, "Go home," his eyes are softer than the other's, Baekhyun preferred the hateful ones instead of this pity, "do you know the way?" Baekhyun nods. He doesn't, but he won't stay in here another minute.

It takes him a while to get home, but he manages to. In the end, he's glad Dongjun hasn't stopped by tonight, he doesn't know how he would have been able to handle it. Baekhyun drops on his couch still shaking. From fear, from anger, from confusion and disappointment.

From feeling like an insignificant and disposable object for others to play with. For everyone to play with. In the end, it's just an endless circle of the same things, but the people change. He hates feeling powerless like this.

It's Sunday and he's running around from table to table again. He doesn't remember much from last night, it's just a weight remaining in his chest now, reminding him that he should feel awful, but he won't go through what he felt and thought about, because they've been added to the bitter things in his life, mashed up with the others, locked up inside his mind. Sundays are usually busy, another weekend day. This one goes particularly awful when he comes face to face with Dongjun in the later's lunch break. And it gets worse when Dongjun grabs him in the bathroom latter, keeps the door shut with his back as he has his way with him, with his mouth. He's threatening to tell everyone how much he begged for it and what a whore he actually is, so Baekhyun keeps quiet, keeps going, until he's stopped because he almost throws up. Dongjun leaves after telling him what a bad boy he is, how he never listens. Baekhyun goes back to his tables after throwing up in the dirty toilet bowl.

Nothing happens after. On Monday a tall man clad in all black comes for dinner. Baekhyun's been waiting for him. For Chanyeol, the extra sweet way Baekhyun is addressing him comes as a total suprise. He feels giddy that they've come this far, he feels content. Baekhyun asks him to take him home when he's done, and Chanyeol is left stunned at the change of attitude. He could smile from ear to ear if the situation wasn't inappropriate, he still grins, hoping Baekhyun notices the pure admiration he holds for him.

Did them holding hands do so much? Is Baekhyun finally beginning to trust him? He wants to ask a lot of things, but decides to wait until they're settled in the car.

But once they're inside, there's only one second between the door closing and a pair of hands coming around his neck, and a pair of ice-cold eyes looking at his own. "Do you enjoy it, Chanyeol?" The squeeze gets harder and Chanyeol gasps, loud, the grip in putting pressure in front of his throat as well as on the sides. However, the sudden action knocks the air out of his lungs more than anything, and that's what Baekhyun wanted. Now with his face inches apart and the struggling man in front of him, Baekhyun feels like he has the upper hand for once, "Playing with me? Does it give you satisfaction?"

"W-what?" Chanyeol rasps out, hand coming up to stop Baekhyun's, but doesn't he put pressure on it, just grabs him. It irritates Baekhyun who came here for a fight.

"What?" Baekhyun mocks him, imitates his low voice now strained and creaky, "Does it get you off, you sick fuck?" No other word comes out of Chanyeol's mouth, just gasps, wheezes. Baekhyun let's go at the sight of his red face, and he won't admit it, but it felt so good to be the one holding the power.

Chanyeol drags his body the farthest, resting on the door on his side, head hanged as he's clutching his chest, letting out the ugliest coughs and chokes. He turns to Baekhyun with teary eyes, "Are you crazy?" he's still breathless, but Baekhyun's expression doesn't change.

''Just say it.'' He lets out slowly, through his teeth, still hungry for a confrontation.

Chanyeol is rubbing his neck, the skin is red, ''What are you talking about?'' he's getting angry, Baekhyun can see it in the way his eyes are narrowed, guarded, ''What happened?''

''Oh you don't know?'' he's gritting his teeth, arms crossed, ''Maybe ask Sehun to refresh your memory, hm?''

At the mention of the name, Chanyeol's gaze darkens, the smaller can hear the way his exhale changes, ''Sehun?''

Baekhyun ignores his question, continues with what's on his mind instead, ''I'm sick of your games Chanyeol, just stop, leave me alone.'' Nothing else is exchanged between them as Baekhyun is getting out of the car, Baekhyun said enough, Chanyeol doesn't try to stop him from leaving, doesn't follow him back inside.

Baekhyun hears the wheels screech from inside when the gang member leaves.

He feels sick, but doesn't know why, can't eat to make it better, because he throws up right after, can't stay on an empty stomach for more than two days, as he is now, because is body is starting to get out of control.

Baekhyun loses his balance on Tuesday, it's afternoon and he's been waiting tables with a dizzy head since 11. It happens in one second, while holding the plates for table 3, the room closes in on him. Suddenly he can't feel his hands, even if he is trying hard to keep the plates in them, he knows he can see them but they're weightless now. He fights hard to keep his legs straight, keeps them tense by reflex. But the plates previously in his hands are now on the ground, all eyes are on him. He spends 10 minutes apologizing, with his head down. He faints in the back, and no amount of apologies and  
begging can keep him here. His boss makes him go rest for the rest of the day. He leaves while there's still light outside, feeling like an absolute failure, having failed at the one thing he is good at.  
He is supposed to get better. His body is tired, but his mind is wide awake, showing no signs of wanting to rest any sooner. That's why when he hits the couch back at home, his head traps him in a never-ending circle of thinking things over, leaving Baekhyun no time to sleep.

Something heavy is sitting on his chest, but he can't pinpoint the exact feeling, it resembles guilt a lot though.

And he feels like he's waiting for something, something that's missing, this one is stronger than any momentary guilty feeling, because it demands attention.

It's quiet, hidden- Chanyeol's comfort is always like this. The realization falls on him only long after the actual presence has left. Quiet, but so strong, the contentment the big man gives, addicting in its subtle way. It clicks for Baekhyun that this is what the big empty spot in his chest is for, and he's stubborn enough to chase the thought out from the very place that created it in the first place.

  
He dozes off, when he wakes up there's a hand cradling his hair. Baekhyun jolts awake, shots up straight. Dongjun pays him a surprise visit, he calls it. Says he will be busy, so he wants to spend as much time as he can with Baekhyun. The latter is too light-headed to process the words given to him until he finds himself under the man, chocking from everything he keeps bottled up inside. Dongjun takes care of him after. And maybe Baekhyun's mind replaces the big hands petting his head, covering him, handling him pills to take and placing a wet towel on his forehead, with ones he's not as familiar with, but still give him more comfort than the current pair could ever do. Because, imagining Chanyeol, the endearments thrown his way are easier to take, and he hates himself for it.

On Wednesday he feels well enough to get back into work, that's what he tells his manager. Manages to work from 11 to 11 with a straight posture, attend to everything he's assigned to. When he steps out the back door, a car grey car is parked the nearest to the entrance.

Driver's window rolled down. It's been only two days, but Baekhyun's had time to think. The rational side of him knows that the man in the car couldn't have known about the encounter he had with Sehun last week. If he did, the latter wouldn't have demanded his silence so ardently.

It was Baekhyun's pride that's been wounded. He is a man as well. A tired man.

But now, he knows the way things are. Baekhyun is stubborn but he would indulge in this much- he goes straight to the car, into it. Chanyeol waits inside with a split lip and still fading bruises on his neck that look very much like his own fingerprints. Baekhyun bites his lip.

"Baekhyun,"

"Chanyeol."

"I didn't know what Sehun was planning to do," The man's eyes are big, expressive and sincere. Baekhyun wishes he could make his change their steely form, "If I did, I wouldn't have let it happen,"

"I know," the corner of his mouth is up, Baekhyun relishes in the coziness surrounding them, "can you take me home?"

"If you promise to keep your hands to yourself." Chanyeol witty adds, but he's chuckling, and already starting the engine.

In front of his building, Chanyeol is ready to bid him goodbye, he is not, "Do you want to come inside?" Chanyeol studies him carefully, his every feature is traced with skepticism, but the man nods in the end. Now next to each other, Chanyeol is limping, his left foot giving him trouble when he tries to walk. Baekhyun is also limping, because of last night, now that he's tired the soreness in his muscles feels magnified, he can't even try to get the walking right. They both look stupid. They look like fools, and maybe they are. But it feels just a little bit better when they're walking side by side.

Baekhyun's one room is old, cramped, not easy on the eye. His bedroom is also his living room and his kitchen, but he won't hide from Chanyeol. Baekhyun doesn't have much to offer, but he'll give him realness.

Besides, Chanyeol's already been here once. That time feels so far away now. Behind the closed door emerges his cat, his trusty companion, the first thing they see when entering. Brown Paw is looking for food, meowing loud for it, but his attention is taken by the second person coming in after his owner. The cat is over Chanyeol in a second, smelling then rubbing himself on his legs, to mark him as his new property. Chanyeol's face turns into one of a 5-year-old, Baekhyun can tell the exact moment the transition happens. Come to think of it, now as Baekhyun is taking food out of his bag and watching the man bond with his cat closely, Chanyeol really resembles a giant baby sometimes, in the way he carries himself through his actions. But mostly in Baekhyun's presence. His mannerism changes between other people. Baekhyun would like to think that this, the one he's experiencing right now, is the real one.

The bowl being put down leaves Chanyeol's arms empty. That's right, his cat is a traitor. It would be rude not to ask, but he only has one thing, "Would you like some water?" Chanyeol scrunches his nose, shakes his head. The couch is too small for both of them to comfortably lay down, Baekhyun solves the problem by throwing a blanket on the floor, then another one for the surface to not feel so hard. He gives Chanyeol a pillow, and stands down with a sigh.

"What happened to your face?" He addresses the thing that remained on his mind with his eyes closed, he doesn't want to look too concerned.

"Um..." Chanyeol scratches his nape, "I had a talk with Sehun," Baekhyun's jaw clenches at the name.

"What happened to you?" Chanyeol questions back, and Baekhyun searches for words that could nicely put it, "I had a talk with Dongjun." he says in the end, sarcasm being his reliable friend. They're turned face to face on their pillows, Brown Paw settles in between them, but rests in front of Chanyeol's stomach.

Chanyeol wanders his curious eyes along Baekhyun's features, and the attention doesn't seem to bother the smaller too much, because he copies the movement not long after. And with the warm smile playing on Chanyeol's lips, Baekhyun can't help but be pulled towards him, the man is a force he can't resist. The corner of his lips turns upwards too. Their hands meet. Chanyeol reaches first, testing, and they meet in the middle. With intertwined fingers and unspoken words hidden behind sighs. Baekhyun takes the big hand in both of his, brings it forward in front of him, and that's when he remembers. He pulls the sleeve up just a bit, enough for black ink to peek out from under it.

"Can I see your tattoos?" He asks with fingertips tracing calloused fingers, from the knuckles, to the tip, memorizing every line there is to memorize. If Chanyeol wants to add something, he keeps it to himself, throws Baekhyun an unreadable expression as he gets up, undresses the big hoodie he's so fond of and comes back down next to him, only in an undershirt now. It is loose, and under it, on his chest, ribs, there are more tattoos Baekhyun didn't expect to find. He takes them all in, and it's the perfect excuse to also observe the prominence of Chanyeol's arms, along with the fine  
lines that can be seen on his abdomen, from the loose sides of the shirt. Baekhyun wonders briefly if any of this is real. He takes the hand again in his, just to make sure, "What do they mean?"

  
"Honestly," Chanyeol chuckles, "I got the first one as a dare when I was around 17 and I haven't stopped ever since," every time Chanyeol explains something he does it with his whole being, his eyes demand attention, "Just a few of them have a meaning, I just like getting them."

Baekhyun nods. His fingers are still occupied, but his eyes are on Chanyeol now. With the latter wetting his lips, the ugly cut on them is shining now, "I think I have something for that," he reaches behind him, under the couch where he keeps a bag with supplies and pulls out a round tube of cream. They're sitting face to face, legs crossed when Baekhyun applies the cream with his own finger, and Chanyeol can't do anything but stare at the raw, unfiltered beauty in front of him. He wants to do so much for him, but he can only do so little. The hand coming up to stop him is just an excuse to steal more touches from the waiter, "Baekhyun, are you in pain?" He doesn't receive an answer, just an unsure bite of lips, "where does it hurt?"

Baekhyun would like to say where it hurts, maybe with a bitting smile, but that would be anything but appropriate. He's not lying in this answer either, although he feels like a pathetic cry baby when he whispers, "Everywhere."

Chanyeol's eyes are questioning, asking for permission when he lays back down, the hand holding the smaller is sure, and he gets what he was silently asking for when Baekhyun gets down too, turns his back to him, "Can I?" He's close to his ear, and Baekhyun's chest constricts at the faint weight on his arm, in the form of a big hand. Big hand that doesn't move until he nods, despite knowing better. Chanyeol's hand goes in his hair first, plays softly with the faded locks. His touches leave Baekhyun tingling, "If it hurts, why are you still letting him do it?"

Baekhyun feels like he could quiver if he had less dignity, from how good the scraping against his scalp feels. But the questions keep him alert, "He could make me never work again in a second, I can't...let that happen," There's no emotion in the way he murmurs it because it's a reality he's learned to accept. The touches freeze, but Chanyeol's hand is quick to continue its movement, now on the back of his neck, putting pressure on the spot that's always aching. Baekhyun surpasses a whine.

"I don't understand it," his fingers are doing wonders on the tight muscles, "Why do you need to work so badly?"

Baekhyun jumps at a press angled directly at the knot on his back, pushes back on the steady chest behind him, "Money are keeping my dad alive, I can't let him die because of me."

"Baekhyun, if he dies, he dies because he's sick, not because of you," Chanyeol tries to reason, but Baekhyun shakes his head, "No, you don't understand, his condition is critical but there's still a chance he might make it," his back is tense again, Chanyeol flattens his hand on it, starts moving it slowly, "If I refuse to pay for the treatment he's receiving, it'd be just like agreeing to let him die," he's getting frantic, "I can't kill my father, Chanyeol."

Bit by bit, he's sinking backward, into Chanyeol's chest, encouraged by the hand circling him now. At first, he feels like he can't breathe, when he whiffs and all he can sense is the manly fragrance surrounding him. Breathing through his mouth is hard, but it evens out with every hum Chanyeol gives in response to what he's saying. Signs that he's the one behind him. Soon enough, his embrace becomes the safest place he can recall he's even been in. Baekhyun lets himself be wrapped up, cocooned by the much bigger Chanyeol and swayed slightly as he spills every thing coming to his mouth, about how he's dealt with it ever since his mother left, how things were before, dear memories of him and his dad. He lays them all out in the open, until his mouth is tired and numb from all the talking he had grown out of with time.

It the end he feels guilty, because it is so good to stay like this, and he's enjoying it too much, way more than he should when he knows tomorrow will find him stuck in the same place, the same cycle he can't escape and there will be no warm embrace to comfort him. He is stealing moments he shouldn't even dream of, not when his mind is screaming about how he doesn't deserve Chanyeol. Can't have Chanyeol. But the tall man is adamant to break in. With the way he's trailing calloused fingers over Baekhyun's arm when the latter stops talking, keeping him half anchored in the moment, partly away from his mind. Baekhyun turns around to face him, face in his chest from where he mumbles, "You're being unfair again," the scent hitting him is stronger than before. It's hot being held so tight, but he burrows his nose further into the warm body in front of him, testing, teasing limits.

His warm blanket chuckles, he feels it even in his toes, "What is it this time?"

Baekhyun raises his chin, searches his eyes, "You know so much about me and I barely know you,"

"What is it you wanna know?" Chanyeol is more daring now, takes his fingers slowly through the boy's fringe, pushes it back to see his pretty eyes better, "Ask me anything and I'll answer," Baekhyun pouts when thinking, Chanyeol observes fondly as he's waiting for the waiter to search for his words. He knows Baekhyun can be very pensive. And Baekhyun thinks about it well. The first thing that comes to his mind, is "why are you doing this?", but he's asked this one before, got the same answer.

His cat sneezes, from where it moved at their feet, he's jolted out of his thoughts, frowns while studying Chanyeol, the man breathes out an amused "what".

"You're 28..."

"Not yet," Chanyeol adds.

"How come you don't have someone waiting at home? Why are you here with me?"

Baekhyun takes out the possibility of there actually being someone, doesn't even want to think about it, with the way he's being held. However, the times Chanyeol is taking to give back an answer makes his stomach drop- he wouldn't do this.

"You're asking why I'm single?" Baekhyun nods, "I've been with my ex for 5 years, until she said she wanted to settle down and have kids," Baekhyun scrunches up his nose at the mention of kids, Chanyeol shares his opinion by laughing shortly, "I'm not the family type. I like chasing, I like challenges, and I like the thrill of it-" there's a question in the smaller gaze, Chanyeol addresses it immediately, "no Baekhyun, that's not the only reason I'm here with you now," he squeezes the frail body in his embrace, to make the frown on his face disappear, "I'm expected to settle down already at this age, I'm not very fond of the idea, and that made me stay away from relationships, I guess."

Baekhyun thinks he must be the most boring person he knows. Now that he has given in, will Chanyeol leave because he finished the chase he wanted? Baekhyun's throat feels dry. He's being shook out of his pondering by concerned, round eyes, "I can feel you worrying, Baekhyun, what's on your mind?" How can he say it without sounding insecure? Pathetic and needy? Without sounding like he truly is?

His voice is trained to remain calm, composed, not shake from whatever intensity of feelings he's going through, "I'm thinking that if you'll play with me, I'll make you regret it."

And Chanyeol's not doubting it, he's experienced how strong his grip can get, how greedy Baekhyun can get with power. How much fight there still is in him, hidden, waiting for a push to start it all. That push could make great things, he thinks as he's swaying the smaller again tender and full of admiration, "I know."

It goes quiet, Baekhyun is completely hidden in his chest now and Chanyeol thinks he's asleep for a while, but the boy is too peaceful for that, he feels him yawn against him, hot breath hitting his front, "How did you become a gang member?" is mumbled, soft and leisurely.

"Well..." Chanyeol is making a habit of playing with his hair, Baekhyun doesn't know how to feel about it, the moment he starts talking his hand also comes up, combs through the messy locks absently. Baekhyun closes his eyes, and it's all it takes to be pulled towards a lulling state. The deep voice resonating through him isn't helping, "I joined when I was 22. Had a part-time job I didn't like, and didn't see myself doing it, I have a diploma in biological sciences but I couldn't see myself doing that either," his fingers stop, chin now resting where his hand used to be, "I tried a lot of things but it got boring after a while," Baekhyun hums in approval. The last sentence catches his attention, but he doesn't get the chance to dwell on it, too gone to do it anyway, "And about 5 years ago I met someone that showed me the hidden side of things, and how to get rid of boring," this gets the last hum from Baekhyun, because by the time Chanyeol picks up speaking again, having something new to add to the boy's curiosity, a string of whines and soft grunts are coming from under him.

But he doesn't stay asleep for long, Chanyeol knows already, because when he moves the slightest bit, his arms going numb from the weight on them, the boy raises his head from where it was previously buried, glassy eyes blinking the sleep away, "Sorry..." he murmurs.

"Don't be, you should sleep."

Baekhyun shakes his head, "I can't in my work clothes," he's already pushing himself up, and when the chilly air outside of Chanyeol's embrace hits him, he wants nothing more than to fall back down, never experience coldness again. He doesn't act on it though, Baekhyun is already up when Chanyeol raises too, suddenly not knowing what to do with himself. The air around them is edging on awkward, "Right, I should get going." Baekhyun freezes in front of the closet, head still inside, away from the man in his living room.

Two sides of him are debating what to do next. One is rational, and knows that this is too much already, irresponsible of him even, he's playing pretend with himself and with Chanyeol too. But the other part, one light-headed, without any alcohol to help him, just pure Chanyeol, is asking for more, demanding. Now that he's tasted what he's been deprived for so long it's hard to turn away from it, when Chanyeol is right here, offering. Baekhyun wants to be selfish.

When he thinks of how he didn't get a visit from Dongjun today, and tomorrow he will probably, Baekhyun wants to be selfish even more. "Stay the night? It's late." What a weak excuse, they've met in worse circumstances, later times than this before, Chanyeol has no problem with late hours, but he latches on the thread he's been given, "Is that alright with you?" He receives a nod in return and a few minutes after a loose t-shirt along with a pair of tight looking pants, "See if these fit, I'm going to take a shower."

Chanyeol realizes just how thin Baekhyun is when the track pants are on him, hugging his legs a little too tight, giving him troubles in laying back down, but he won't complain about them, although the thought of sleeping without them sounds better. He is playing with the cat who resumed to sleeping on his chest when a blond head peeks out from the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth. Baekhyun gets startled, not expecting for his eyes to be met instantly, and he turns back in the bathroom, leaving the door wide open. Chanyeol can see him from where he's standing, in front of the mirror, washing off foam from his face, "Chanyeol?" is called from inside, the hummed approval he receives makes him add, "I have another question."

From the bathroom, it gives him the courage to address it, but he speaks again when everything is done, and he's coming back down on the man waiting for him, the attentive look given his way makes Baekhyun get closer, once again, "Is the police involved in your activities?"

"It's... complicated," Baekhyun takes the pliant arm in front of him and scoots under it, shamelessly, like it's his right to do so, "We work under them, but more like, with their approval than actually for them," the additional weight on the limited space of Chanyeol's chest makes his cat slide down, letting him take as much space as he wants. Chanyeol doesn't mind, brings his hand to rest in his hair as the smaller is shooting him a confused glance from under his lashes, "We handle the messy stuff they can't. Keep the city safe, guard the borders, deal with nuisances they can't deal with, handle the transactions that bring in money for everyone," Baekhyun can't believe it, "Is all the police involved then?"

Chanyeol lets out a throaty chuckle, "No, just the higher-ups, the less people to know the better,"

Baekhyun's chin is propped up on his chest now, staring blankly through him, "But... they're the police," looking into his eyes now, Chanyeol can see traces of the nativity they used to hold, before the reality forcefully barged into his vision, opened his eyes and at the same clouded them with hate towards the world, "At the end of the day they're just people who've been given power, powerful men will always want more of it."

"And you? Are you looking for more power?" His eyes are shining with a challenge, Chanyeol smirks, stops his hand movement, "I never said I was a powerful man, all that I'm looking for is a purpose."

Baekhyun grits out, mockingly, at himself, at Chanyeol, "Couldn't have chosen a better place for that."

When did the conversation even take this turn, he doesn't know, "I will decide that." Chanyeol replies, and Baekhyun glues his head back on his chest. His heartbeat is steady, calming, just as his breathing. Why is he listening to Chanyeol's heartbeat? Inside his apartment, on his blanket? Baekhyun is doomed.


	2. there is a brighter light

Morning finds them like this.

When his alarm clock rings at 7 in the morning, the body next to his moves first, grunting out a "make it stop". Chanyeol's voice in the morning is deeper than usual, he can barely make out the words, but Baekhyun is quick to get up, and he doesn't get the chance to fall back because with the first movement it senses, Brown Paw is up and meowing around, asking for food.

"Make it stooooop," Chanyeol whines again, and it makes Baekhyun roll his eyes, amused. The man really is a giant baby.

He swiftly runs around while Chanyeol falls back asleep, does everything he has to do, even takes the time to make actual coffee now that he has a guest, then goes to nudge the sleeping man on the floor, "Come on, wake up, I can't be late," Chanyeol does wake up, grumpily and pouting.

  
They're at his tiny counter when he speaks up, after sniffing his coffee for 5 minutes, "How can you wake up at this hour every day? You went to sleep 3 hours ago,"

Baekhyun shrugs. "I can't sleep much," Chanyeol nods, knowing too well the way he sleeps, or how he doesn't. Him jolting awake has kept him awake and aware too, and he can't get over the missed rest as well as Baekhyun does. "Let me drop you off? I'm going in that direction anyway."

When they part, the last words exchanged between each other leave Baekhyun with a sense of fulfillment, Chanyeol singing his old man's songs on the way indeed brought a good morning to him.

Minseok remarks how his shoulders don't seem so hunched this morning while they're cleaning the floors, getting them ready for opening. He gives a secretive glance back.

Time is flying, and he's glad of it until Dongjun comes in with his too sweet smile, tells him to wait for him tonight when he's ready to leave. From that point on Baekhyun curses every passing minute, every customer that says goodbye as they're approaching the closing hour, until there's none of them left.

He knows another route to home, a longer one and he uses it to steal some time. A thought of visiting the hospital enters his mind at some point, when he's sitting on a swing inside a kid's park, but the visit hours are closed, and his father can barely talk or remember him now, it would be no use in even trying. It's ironic, how he's doing all of this for a person who doesn't even know him, his son.

Suddenly, his mind drifts to the new father-like figure in his life. Chanyeol and his dad are nothing alike, but they bring the same feeling.

It's inevitable, going home, even the long path has an ending, their town is a small one. Some months ago, Baekhyun would sometimes sleep over at his friends, but they've lost touch since then, Dongjun made sure it happened, and now he has no other place to go than home. But it comes as a surprise when he can't spot the officer's car outside his building, and an even bigger one when he enters and there isn't any man waiting for him, just his cat who's angrily swaying its tail, demanding food and attention. The clock on the counter says 1:24am, Dongjun usually comes before him, and part of Baekhyun knows that if he's not here already, he won't come anymore. That doesn't keep him from not closing his eyes all night- mind on fire with too many questions.

• • • • • •

He gets his answer 2 days later, it comes to him uninvited.

  
Baekhyun was serving food for one of his tables when the roaring of bikes caught everyone's attention. The restaurant is situated on the main road, and it is known for motorcycles roaming it, more on summer days than now, but the sound comes from a closer place than the road. He makes it his task to go check what is happening outside, through the back door because that seems to be the spot it's coming from. Baekhyun is meet with a big man sitting right outside of the restaurant's door, Chanyeol is just getting off his bike when Baekhyhun takes the last steps that gets them face to face, „Chanyeol?”

Said man pushes his hair back, hand shaking the sweaty locks back to life, „Hi,” he smiles, blinding, competing with the midday sun.

"What are you doing here?" Baekhyun doesn't return the smile, but his sour mood seems to take a detour just from seeing it. Chanyeol doesn't need to know that though, he feels bad enough just admitting it to himself.

"I came to see you." The waiter raises an eyebrow, "It's been days and I'm going away for the weekend, I came to you see you for a bit," Baekhyun doesn't know how to react to this, but it's pleasant to hear such words.

"Where are you going?" They're still looking at each other, brown orbs shamelessly gazing into brown orbs, neither moving even an inch, "A meeting outside town, it's...work-related," Baekhyun nods, although curious by nature, he's on paid minutes he's wasting right now, "I can take Dongjun away with me, if you want."

Baekhyun is skeptical, "You can...?" it's Chanyeol's time to nod now.

Something clicks for Baekhyun then. He realizes, that almost every time he ends up not seeing Dongjun, he doesn't have any encounter with Chanyeol that day either. Is Chanyeol the one keeping Dongjun away from him every time? How does he do it? Baekhyun remains with his eyes are wide open, a whole new amazement towards Chanyeol in them now. More roaring is heard in the distance.

Baekhyun takes a calloused hand in his, "Thank you," he breathes out, a smile ready to burst from his lips. The roaring gets closer.

Chanyeol has enough smiles for the both of them, he's stroking the cold fingers given to him, the whole scenery must look ridiculous from outside, but they're caught in their own bubble, "I also wanted to ask for your number, because I want to take you out when I come back."

"I always get off late, we can't."

"That's not what I asked, Baekhyun-"

He shakes his head, "I don't have a phone..." More motorbikes pass by like a flash, one of them strays from the main road and comes in their direction. The new person flips up his helmet's front, and Baekhyun recognizes him as the tanned man from before, "Chanyeol, come on!"

But Chanyeol pays him little attention, a gesture that earns an angry rumble from the man, "Then how can I reach you?" Baekhyun thinks for a while, the pressure put on him from the noise surrounding them, plus his boss waiting inside, probably pissed by now, make him take his decision faster than he usually would, giving his brain little importance, "You know where to find me."

"Park, I'm leaving!" Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol now, rolls his eyes, but steps back, away from their little moment, "See you."

Should Baekhyun say it? Will being this daring bring him any good? It escapes his lips though, when Chanyeol is ready to put his helmet on, "Stay safe."

Chanyeol is true to his word. All weekend, Baekhyun isn't given any loathsome touches, nor bright smiles. He wonders which one will come to him first. Chanyeol's promise lingers long after the last roar of his engine is lost into the distance, all the implications it could hold or ways it could develop- they all are keeping Baekhyun from completely listening to complains thrown his way during the two days.

On Monday, Dongjun is the first one he sees, when he comes to eat breakfast and throw Baekhyun promising glances, ones the latter responds to with a blank stare. Dongjun is working a night shift- Baekhyun knows this is the last time he's seeing him today, but he can't bring himself to feel any relief, or any other thing than hatred for the one in front of him as the cop is slipping his paycheck in his back pocket when he gets up, and makes sure to grope his ass while he does so. No one else notices. Or they do, but they couldn't care less. Baekhyun's heard the things whispered about him when his co-workers think he's away.

• • • • • •

Is it right? Putting your hopes and faith in someone else? After all, he's not looking for any salvation, just a little bit of distraction. But still, Baekhyun tells himself: it's not, it's so naive of him to do it, it reminds him of an old version of himself, one gullible and hopeful, one he'd thought he had gotten rid of long ago, but it turns out he's still the same vulnerable Baekhyun, ready to latch on to every scrap of validation thrown his way, it was just the opportunities that stopped coming.

But is it really like this? Could he be this foolish, anticipating, for everyone? Anyone else? Or is it just Changed that gets him fidgeting on his couch right now, at night, not knowing where they stand and if the "you know where to find" me will be used, or in what way. Baekhyun truly wishes he could go back to the way things were before he knew the name of the tall stranger from the warehouse. Back then he was so sure of himself, of everything. The only uncertainty was the exact time it would stop, but he knew it would, had everything sorted out- or so he convinced himself.

The clock says 12:48 am, what's he staying up for?

Hardly 2 minutes pass and there's a soft knock on the door, he could have missed if it wasn't what he's been waiting for. Dongjun usually forces the handle until the old lock gives in. No one else knocks on his door.

The thing is, what's on Baekhyun's mind doesn't always mirror his actions. He opens the door and is met with bright eyes, a rushed wave of a hand, but he can't give back more than a nod. He doesn't know where this sudden repulsion towards the tall man came from, doesn't know what he did to deserve it, just knows that the sight of him is getting him nauseous. Truth is, Baekhyun always is, now he just found someone to blame it on. Chanyeol feels something is off the second the door is open. Baekhyun's eyes are more guarded than usual. He is made space to step in, but the way the action's done doesn't hold any more warmness than what you'd give a beggar on the street. That's how he feels now, standing close to the small waiter, "Hi."

Baekhyun has his arms crossed, going back for the couch after the door is closed, not checking if he's being followed because he knows he is.

Chanyeol doesn't claim the spot next to him, clears his throat instead, "Is everything alright?"

Baekhyun nods.

"Nothing happened?"

The second nod and Chanyeol is left looking doubtful, but persistence won't do him any good right now, "I'm sorry I came here, I went to the restaurant but everything was closed already," he continues instead, and Baekhyun knows from just one glance in the round eyes presented to him that he's being unfair.

"It's okay, I was the one who told you to come." Yes, he is the only one at fault.

  
Chanyeol finally settles next to him, turns to face, and observe. In the soft night's light, hollow cheeks and sunken eyes is all that Baekhyun seems to be made of. Traces of cheekbones linger on his face, but as a more of a what should be than what it is now.

Baekhyun is a deeply depressed boy, man, person. Chanyeol has come to know. Now, up close like this, when his eyes are not rushed, don't have to steal glances to get what they want, can straight up look where they want to, Chanyeol realizes Baekhyun is a deeply tired person too.  
It makes him rethink the proposal he came here with.

"Chanyeol?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you looking at me like this?" Just the complain, a groundless one because he's still in his place, no intention to move.

"Like what?"

He snorts, lets his head fall back into the couch, "You're staring,"

"Oh, was I?" Baekhyun doesn't need to look, the trace of a smirk in his voice gives away that yes, he was, "Sorry, I was thinking."

"About?"

"You."

The waiter pauses, turns to face the one next to him, frown deepening, "Chanyeol, why are you here?"

Baekhyun is more irascible than usual, Chanyeol picks his words carefully, "I've been thinking the past two days," he's turning to the smaller, searches for his eyes, "and I wanted to go swimming, but it's night and the temperature dropped too much for that." He's got Baekhyun attention, the blond mimics his position, waits for Chanyeol to get to the point, "I also wanted to go stargazing, I haven't in a while," the smaller has his thumb between his teeth, scraping gently while Chanyeol talks, but his face is impassive, neither pleased or not with the ideas Chanyeol came up, "then I remembered, you owe me something." Baekhyun doesn't need time to think about what that something is, his memory is good, "I never promised anything."

Chanyeol's eyes go annoyingly round, his lower lip is pink and curled, "You're cruel!"

"And you're an old man pouting," one of his eyebrows goes up, the only movement signaling the challenge on his tired, otherwise stony face. Chanyeol takes the bait, his face is all kinds of offended, everything about the man seems to be big, even his gestures.

"Excuse me?! Old man? Me?" His hands are in the air, and Baekhyun's irritation is slowly subsiding, he finds himself leaning in, paying better attention, "Is there anyone else in the room? Yeah, who else," he whispers the next part, "it's alright, denial is the first step to acceptance," It cracks Chanyeol up, he throws his head back, uses that obnoxious laugh of his, hands gripping on the cushion of his couch and Baekhyun is left to watch, until his face morphs from frown, to light amazement, until he starts laughing too, because the sight in front of him doesn't give him much of a choice. It sounds croaky, he doesn't usually laugh, can't remember when the last time was, it sounds annoying, he's forgotten how he used to laugh, the sounds coming out now foreign to his ears, but the man in front of him and his big, blinding smile encourage him to make a fool of himself anyway. For Chanyeol, the view ahead of him, the premiere of Baekhyun's smile is breathtaking, something he didn't know he needed until he actually got it, but now he's making it his goal to steal as many child-like smiles as he can from the waiter. Baekhyun is beautiful like this.

"But you must be tired, did you eat yet?" The thoughts about Baekhyun's smile are pushed to the back of his head, no use in telling the smaller what really goes on in his mind, "How about I make you something to eat?" Just the idea of smelling any food gets Baekhyun dizzier.

The sour taste in his mouth comes as a form of protest, "No, I'm not hungry," Chanyeol doesn't approve, you can clearly see it on his face, but he's also conflicted, "Then do you want to do anything? I can let you sleep if you want."

Baekhyun has his bottom lip under his teeth again, "I don't feel like sleeping," he simply says, not looking at Chanyeol anymore, not making a big deal out of what he says next, "Let's go out like you said."

"Are you sure?," Chanyeol begins, sounding unsure himself, then clears his throat, "Do you wanna go dancing?" Baekhyun gets up, his eyebrows taking the form of irritation again, why must Chanyeol ask so many questions, doubt everything he says?

"I said so, didn't I?" He's still in his work clothes, the closet is the next stop, "Whatever is fine with me, I just want to get out."

Chanyeol follows him with his eyes from his seat, Baekhyun plops down in front of the open doors, sighs. Then it's like Chanyeol can read his mind, "Wear something warm, it's raining." Baekhyun goes over the 5 shirts he always uses, doesn't know what he should pick. He'll feel underdressed anyway, even though Chanyeol came with just a t-shirt and ripped jeans as well. That's what he goes for in the end.

"Where's your cat?" Chanyeol asks to fill the silence, just as Baekhyun is opening his belt.

"He's in the bathroom." His pants are thrown on the floor and the giant does a poor job at masking his stare, until he doesn't care anymore and just bluntly looks him in the eye as he speaks, lets his eyes trail down after, "What's he doing there?"

Baekhyun shrugs, unbuttons his uniform's shirt, "He likes sleeping on the floor, I don't know why." Chanyeol gives a half-assed nod, does a look over once Baekhyun is dressed and walking back to the couch, "You've got really nice thighs," he's so casual about it, Baekhyun feels envious, but what's he supposed to say to something like this? He doesn't know how he should feel, "You're shameless."

"And what's wrong with that?" The taller gets up too, towering over Baekhyun now that they're closer, "You already knew what I was thinking about, why hide it?"

Maybe because it's better to not go there, cross the line, Baekhyun can turn a blind eye to it if it's not outspoken, because he feels suffocated only by acknowledging the fact that Chanyeol's eyes have been on him, and it didn't bother him as much as it should. His plan is to take. He doesn't feel like giving anything back, he just wants to take take take, from Chanyeol who seems like the perfect person for that, seems stupid enough to let Baekhyun take from him as much as he wants, seems like he'll take any crumbs Baekhyun will give him happily. And he's doing this voluntary. Shares his warmth with the wrong person, knowing Baekhyun's state of mind and where they stand.

"Chanyeol..." It's all he lets out, hard eyes on the taller's face.

"I know," he receives a smile back, warm and comforting, like everything Chanyeol does, "Are you ready? Let's go."

• • • • • •

Chanyeol's car is parked right outside the door. Inside, the man plays his soft tunes, sings with his soft voice, it doesn't surprise Baekhyun anymore. He feels at ease, legs drawn up on the spacious seat, as he watches the giant sonorous humming.

"We're here," Chanyeol says and he doesn't realize when the familiar streets were left behind. The look outside doesn't tell Baekhyun much, it's dark, and everything looks deserted, he follows Chanyeol outside regardless, "Where exactly?" The tall man leading the way turns to him, gives a fleeting smirk, "I didn't know what you like, so I hope this is alright," The old building they enter doesn't look alright at all, the door creaks and it's the only sound to break the silence everything is in. It's dark, and the hand coming on his back to guide him sends shivers down his spine.

It occurs to Baekhyun that this isn't the ideal place to be at 1 am, with a much bigger man that has his hand on him, with a gang member.

They take stairs to go underground and Baekhyun is ready for confrontation, Chanyeol's voice who's right behind his ear stops him though, "You're tense," no shit, "please trust me," Baekhyun won't.

The stairs seem endless, especially in the dark, but they lead to a faint sound and it gets louder every step they take, until Chanyeol opens a metallic door for them. The place they enter is crowded, not big enough to be a club, not simple enough to be a pub, it's something in between. Baekhyun takes in everything around them with grounded eyes.

Everywhere he goes, Chanyeol seems to be liked. Heads turn when they enter, salutes by his full name follow at every step they take inside. Chanyeol doesn't mind the attention any bit, Baekhyun wishes he could make himself even smaller than this.

And Chanyeol sees, his attention is on his companion only, even when responding to every call of his name, his hand stays on Baekhyun's back, stroking it faintly, "Should I find a table or do you want to sit at the bar?" Somewhere where the prying eyes don't follow as closely as they do now that they're near the dancefloor, "the bar is fine," Chanyeol nods, his hand slips from his waist, down until it hinds Baekhyun's hand. Everything seems taken, but Chanyeol finds a seat immediately, with a smile on his face. Baekhyun looks around now that he can fully breathe again. There seem to be people of all ages, the general energy of the places screams old, vintage, even the funky music blasting. It seems Chanyeol too.

Chanyeol's in his ear every second, standing in front of him instead of next to him on the stool, ''Can I get you a drink?''

Baekhyun shouts back, they almost bump noses, ''Please.'' The charming man engages in conversation with the bartender too, Baekhyun is not surprised anymore.

The Bartender looks friendly, tries to include him as well, but Baekhyun is not. He sticks to watching Chanyeol, and he is given a green looking glass minutes after, when Chanyeol takes his place in front of him again, and Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at the difference of colour between their drinks. He sips on it anyway, the grimace that follows after is a source for Chanyeol's laughter, he doesn't like sweet drinks, especially now with his upset stomach, this apple syrup is far from wonderful to taste.

Chanyeol blows hot air on his ear again, and Baekhyun parts his legs more to give him enough space to be comfortable between them, to talk to him easier, ''Sorry, you seemed like the type to like sweet drinks,'' he raises his own glass, ''Try this then.'' Before Baekhyun can get his hand up, the cold glass is already pressed to his lips, so he has no other choice but to let the man serve it to him, ''It's a little stronger though, and you didn't eat anything.''

It is stronger, but he can take the bitter feeling better, the smile Chanyeol gives after his sip is a little too intimate, just as the position they're in is. Baekhyun takes a gulp before opening his mouth again, gathers all the stimuli he can before anything else, ''I'm warning you though, I'm a bad dancer,''

Chanyeol throws his head back, is endearing, how lively he can laugh every time, then he's pressed against him to answer in his ear once again, ''I bet you can't be worse than me,''

''Oh no, and I was counting on you,'' he feels like teasing Chanyeol, doesn't know why, ''What are we gonna do then?'' The looks shared between them are mischievous, ''Drink until we know how to dance?''

They share the same ideas, Baekhyun nods and steals the brown glass from its owner, trades a smirk for it, ''Deal.''

This side of Baekhyun is alluring, extremely intriguing, Chanyeol wants to see more of it. This Baekhyun wouldn't be out if he didn't trust Chanyeol, and this is a big step, unlike everything until now.  
Chanyeol gets another drink, sweet liquor long forgotten on the counter. Baekhyun forgot there was someone like this hidden inside of him. It's been so long, since college, his dorm parties, their every night intoxication, since he had fun. The memories he has seem like a too realistic dream, nothing more, but he wants to bring that feeling back, only for tonight and it'll be enough.

Chanyeol is most comfortable between his legs, it seems, and Baekhyun can't bring himself to mind it, "Chanyeol?" it's Baekhyun who searched for him this time, he's answered with a deep hum, "how come you know everyone in here?" he's got half the glass gone too fast, he knows he will regret it,

"Aw, you're suddenly interested in me," Baekhyun kicks his sides with his knee, and of course he has to be dramatic about it and /pout/, "This place is exclusive for our members," he tastes his drink too, finally, "and whoever they want to bring too, Baekhyun switches this focus on all the people moving carelessly to the music, seeing them in a new perspective now, "So many..." he mumbles, for himself, for Chanyeol, he doesn't know.

He should really stop drinking, but he feels sober enough to be self-conscious of everything he'll say, he only stops when the bottom of the glass can be seen, Chanyeol is not as eager as he is. "You really want those dance skills huh?" Baekhyun rolls his eyes, gives a little push on the body in front of him until he can use his legs again, climbs down off the stool, "Let's go, grandpa," Chanyeol gasps, but follows after him like the smaller is the one that knows the way around the best.

Between all the songs played since they got here, Baekhyun couldn't recognize any. That's the case now too, but the sound is funky and upbeat, rhythm easy to get into no matter what. He appreciates Chanyeol the most in times like this, and how easy it is for him to do everything like it comes natural, the giant begins jumping to the pace of the music as soon as he shouts a "come on". Baekhyun doesn't know what he's doing, laughs out loud when he jumps too, no move in mind, just following the beat as much as he can, as they can. Chanyeol grabs his hands and they go onward and then back again, he's being spun by the bigger man like he weighs nothing. To Chanyeol, Baekhyun looks too beautiful to be true like this, changing the frown shadowing his features, or the haunted eyes making him look like a lost child, to a wide, exuberant smile. The blissful expression in front of him is too dazzling to be kept hidden from the world, but at the same time, it feels like a treasure Chanyeol would like to keep only for himself.

Baekhyun returns his stare with a sway of his hips, pulls him along by the hands. They're chasing each other back and forth on the dancefloor, this is a game with no rules, uncoordinated to the changing song but in sync to one another. Chanyeol drinks in the sight in front of him, unrushed, taking in every movement that highlights the smaller's curves. His hips are sinful. The one in front of him is more subtle in his way of admiring, but the glances he catches are reassuring to him, he's not the only one pushing this.

It's a little late when they realize they're behind about two songs with the rhythm, and they laugh it off, it comes easily, the clear sound slips out of Baekhyun's mouth without much thought. Chanyeol comes forward to say something, Baekhyun feels the warmth radiating from his body, into his, he presses closer to listen better, "You said you couldn't dance, you liar," Baekhyun shrugs, chuckles against his cheek, "I really can't, your eyes must be tired,"

Chanyeol's hand goes up, aiming for his heart, probably ready to throw in another dramatic reaction of his, when the song changes again, and so does the expression of the one in front of him. Baekhyun hears an ''I love this song'' even over the loud booming around them, Chanyeol demonstrates just how much when he starts singing it to him, with his whole chest, and even if Baekhyun has no clue of it whatsoever, the way the lyrics are acted out passionately for him urge him to shout whatever word he manages to catch back, complete Chanyeol's silly performance.

But Baekhyun is the first to stop, when a figure looms out from the mass of faceless strangers, takes careful steps towards the spot they're in. Before Baekhyun gets the chance to inform the man whose back is turned to the unfamiliar face, the stranger is already on Chanyeol's back, with a yelp, he tangles his legs around the bigger body very much like a koala would do. Chanyeol doesn't flinch like he should normally do, even laughs, taking a hold of the thighs on his sides and just maneuvering the one on his back to his front, with his feet back on the ground, "Chanyeol~" his voice is loud, competes with the verses being sung only as a background noise now. The man turns to him too, shit-eating grin fitting on the mischievous face, "and this is?"

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol shouts out, almost looking proud to be saying this, like his name is something to treasure, like it isn't just a name.

The stranger takes interest in him, from head to toe, and Baekhyun can't pinpoint the exact feeling those friendly eyes bring in him, it's an uneasy one, the man is smiling, but there's something completely chilling hiding behind those orbs, Baekhyun's gut feeling is rarely wrong.

Gone is the stupid smile that somehow had gotten stuck on his face, just from looking at Chanyeol, he replies with steel eyes, and no words besides that, "Is he training?" He nudges Chanyeol, eyes going between them. Chanyeol shakes his head, steps closer towards Baekhyun now that his usual stony expression is back on, searches for his hand. The short's man grin grows, almost catlike, sly, with deeper meaning,

"Are you sharing?" Baekhyun can hear only bits of it, he feels like an intruder, unmoving and unmoved by the smiles thrown his way, Chanyeol's hand tenses, the one holding his, it's a protective gesture, but his face remains with his universal smile on, he rolls his eyes.

"Don't you have other people to annoy, Jongdae?"

"Boooooring." Jongdae seems to want to latch on to Chanyeol again. What's their relationship? Baekhyun can't help but wonder at the sigh of the too clingy, annoyingly loud Jongdae. But the waiter only looks straight into his eyes, impassive with a hint of challenge, this and their united hands seem to stop him. The shorter almost squeaks, there's something vividly disturbing in those eyes, "I like Baekhyunee~" then he runs off with a wave, Chanyeol shakes his head like he's already seen this a thousand times before, turns his attention to him again, looking almost apologetic, "Don't mind him."

Baekhyun tries not to, Jongdae's done nothing but act friendly, a little bit too excited maybe, but he can't with the unsettling feeling the man brought. He is confused about Chanyeol too, lets it show in the shared look between them, "Let's take a break?" Chanyeol suggests, the mood is gone, the way he's looking at the smaller is not. Baekhyun nods.

They're outside, out of a different door than the one they came on, they took fewer stairs up than before, but even the few of them made Baekhyun realize how tipsy he is, now that the loud music isn't present to keep his senses distracted. Chanyeol doesn't seem affected, he's holding their refilled glasses, chuckles, "Are you tired?" Baekhyun shakes his head, he's not as invested as before, and Chanyeol notices, it inclines him to talk with a pout on, one too exaggerated to be real,

"What do I have to do to get this cold heart to melt," his head is turned to the sky, but he only meets the ceiling, that doesn't stop Chanyeol, "oh God, please give me a sign."

Baekhyun snorts, his head gives a thud on his temple from it, "Oh, shut up," Chanyeol's head snaps in his direction, eyes wide and full of light, he's playful, "Is...is this my sign?" When his hand reaches out for the glass in the taller's hand, his body protests, each part taking their turn at reminding him they're there, and they're displeased, Baekhyun ignores it, "Yes, it means you have to shut up now," he tastes the sour liquor.

"You're cruel." Chanyeol sighs in defeat, plops his back on the wall, their shoulders are touching.

In a second Baekhyun changes, just a turn of his head and Chanyeol's faced with observant, critical eyes. Guarded eyes. "What are you and Jongdae sharing?" He can't push this in the back of his mind, it's pressing, mocking him. Chanyeol knows when to be serious too, he is now, his eyes set only for Baekhyun, sure, secure, "Not you." It doesn't give him much of an answer, not the one he was looking for, but the ones that would come after this will be just as puzzling, Baekhyun knows, this is how Chanyeol avoids questions.

"I don't like him," a shiver is about to burst just at recalling the way Baekhyun's been looked at. Chanyeol gulps his neglected drink, "You shouldn't, he's a cold-blooded killer."

Then why does Chanyeol seem so close to him, Baekhyun is conflicted, left wondering, the man sees his hard brow, "but not with us, don't think too much about it," Baekhyun is still not convinced, but his head is slightly swaying as they're lost in yet another game of stares, of dreaming away in each other's eyes. Baekhyun is tired of always thinking.

Then Chanyeol breaks into a beam, at the state he allowed himself to be in his presence, at the droopy eyes who are fighting to keep their defiant light even now, at what Baekhyun represents as a whole, ''Come spend the night over, I have a comfortable bed,'' he wants to keep the smaller close, in his sight, so no harm he is not aware of would come to him. Be it the cold barging in through the shattered part of his window, the trains that created a sleep pattern for the boy, cramped couch or unwanted visitors.

''I have my own home,'' the rejection comes just as he expected, even with his eyes hooded and his head resting on Chanyeol's shoulder Baekhyun remains strong-willed.

They go back inside when the shoulders next to his start to quiver, and their initial plan to rest some more is forgotten when Chanyeol hears a song he likes, Baekhyun has no idea of it, again.

The giant gives him an incredulous look, his legs trying their best impression at disco steps, combined with a touch of Chanyeol's gestures, laugh bubbles into Baekhyun's throat again. ''What, you don't know Abba?''

''Should I?'' he joins Chanyeol in his made-up choreography.

''Of course!'' Chanyeol exclaims over the music, passionate, it makes Baekhyun pay attention to the lyrics, to see what's so great about it. He realizes it's ironic, the song they're acting like idiots on says ''Give me a man after midnight'', Baekhyun wants to laugh, especially when ''Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away'' comes from the speakers, spiteful and bitter, just like he feels right now.

Chanyeol's warm touch on his shoulder brings him back from his moment of wandering, ''It's okay now, no need to get sad, you still have time to learn,'' he winks, Baekhyun rolls his eyes, not wanting to get teased without his chance at a comeback.

"I'll leave being an old man to you," he winks back, curls his hips just a little bit harder until Chanyeol's expression changes into something more serious, exploring. His hands come on moving hips, with the pretense of making himself heard better when he comes near the smaller's earlobe again, like the distance has stopped his words before, "What a tease you are," his voice holds humor, tangled with the low notes it dropped to, and he squeezes the places his hands are covering completely before he pulls back.

Baekhyun giggles, he doesn't exactly know why, but he feels like it. Maybe at the attention he's being showered in, maybe at the hypocrisy of the situation, how his actions contradict his brain, his words, everything he's imposing on himself every time he's in the man's presence.

He has his brows furrowed, appearing in thought, "Should I stop?"

"No, I like you playful." He giggles again, doesn't know how to stop, Chanyeol enjoys every single moment he's being showered in the husky hehehe's leaving his mouth.  
Chanyeol feels like clinging to the smaller, with this new connection of theirs. He's always liked affection, skinship, and he's holding back a lot with Baekhyun, but now a barrier seems to have lifted between them. He has his arms slightly touching the little beauty shoulders, he's short enough for the position to come naturally, and Baekhyuns not pushing him away, on the contrary, the little devil has one leg between his, moving both their bodies however he pleases, coordinating their moves with his hips.

Chanyeol wishes this unleashed Baekhyun would never fade, for he is too delightful to be kept inside the armor Baekhyun wears every day.

The shorter's ears are ringing over the euphoric state he's in, he's enjoying the feel of this body crushed against his. Oh, he's the one crushing it. But why doesn't it reciprocate his grinding, his hot breath? Chanyeol is just looking at him, indecipherable at best, or maybe he just doesn't want to acknowledge what's in there, looking through him, like he's searching for something deeper. It makes something in Baekhyun squirm.

He doesn't want to be looked at. Doesn't want to be asked anything anymore. Doesn't want to think. He wants to be touched, by the protective hands upon him, shielded by the big body attached to his.  
He's running away from touches every day, disgusted by every piece of skin that meets his. But he won't mind this one.  
Screw Chanyeol and his affectionate eyes, screw whatever they imply. He won't be able to give those eyes back even if he tries his best. But he wants the warm body to give him more comfort, because that feels good,

"Baekhyun?" Shut up. Baekhyun tries to get closer. "Baekhyun, come on, you must be tired, let's go home," Baekhyun feels like whining. No, he should- he's more composed than this he- shakes his head, eyes clearer just from it, "Give me a hand first," they barely parted from their previous position, "fuck, I'm wasted."

Chanyeol laughs, clear, mirthful, supports him with a hand on his waist and another holding his tightly. Outside, it's pouring more than before, the droplets of water that wash Baekhyun face get him to sober up a little. His mad boldness is gone. The tiredness remains.

"Chanyeol," is blurted out, almost as a whisper. They're in the car, Chanyeol has his eyes on the road, Baekhyun's been standing curled on the big seat ever since they left the parking lot, eyes closed. Chanyeol thought he was asleep.

It's almost inaudible, the man thinks he's imaging it but when he turns his head to check on the smaller he finds droopy eyes already looking in his direction. "Yes?"

"Let's go to yours,"

"Are you sure?"

The only answer he gets are his eyes closing back, and Chanyeol remembers how being asked twice is annoying to the boy, it's the confirmation he needs. The drive takes longer, and he doesn't turn on the radio afraid he'll wake the sleeping boy.

But not only once does he fall asleep. It's just his eyes going on and off, sometimes he catches Baekhyun watching him, sometimes his eyes are closed, face peaceful aside from the little jumps he periodically gives. But they're not sleeping ones. Chanyeol doesn't question further.

  
Baekhyun takes the stairs on his own, he's stubborn enough to force himself to sober up just to prove he can. A part of his mind tells him he's showed enough pathetic performances to the taller.

Chanyeol enters his place first, does a mental check for any misplaced things he might have forgotten when he left. A black dash of curly fur attacks his legs the second he steps in, he picks him up, kisses his wet nose just like his pet likes, turns to Baekhyun who's still in the doorway. He finds a troubled expression on him, one he's not very good at hiding.

"Hyun?" The nickname slips without much though, Chanyeol closes the door once Baekhyun finally takes the last step inside, Toben is trying to wriggle out of his hold to greet their guest, but Baekhyun looks to out of it to be let near the too-friendly dog.

"Hm?" he snaps his head towards Chanyeol's direction, suddenly aware that he's not alone in the room, eyes unfocused, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I-" he clears his throat, "just tired." But that's not it. While he takes in Chanyeol's place, from the hall, the shoes by the door, the couch they pass by to get into his room, everything is giving Baekhyun a feeling of dread. It's unexpected, a ghost from his past coming back to pay him a visit. The source is unknown to him, but his mind is screaming for something, terrified. When he takes a place on the bed, a sense of familiarity washes over him.

"Baekhyun, you're not okay," He looks lost, petrified, his eyes are part wide open, part misty. Chanyeol rushes to his front, Toben locked outside the room and clothes searching forgotten, gets on his knees, searches for his eyes.

"No, I..." he starts unsure, voice small, nothing like the Baekhyun the man treasures so much, "Chanyeol, I feel like I know this place..."

Chanyeol's jaw stiffens, Baekhyun catches the movement even in his state of disassociation, "You remember?" Baekhyun is afraid of what comes next, of what the feeling in his gut is nudging him towards.

"What?"

"It's nothing, really..." Chanyeol tries to get up, but Baekhyun shows quick reflexes for someone who looked so lost seconds ago, he takes a hold of his shirt, keeping him in place. "Remember what?"

"Baek-" a hard shake, unforgiving glare, "Tell me!" Chanyeol sighs, looking truly tired for the first time, untangles the hands in his shirt with his own, careful, like they could break any second. Baekhyun looks like he could, underneath his put together façade.

"You've been here before, that's why," Baekhyun's eyebrows set into a line, his confused eyes are asking him for an explanation, "We almost hooked up before," Chanyeol looks truly pained to have this conversation, looks out of his element, Baekhyun's eyes get suspiciously small "You're lying." He deadpans, but the sincere look he is given back makes it harder to breathe for him.

"I'm not."

"Come on, stop it, what is this?" The waiter laughs shortly, but it's strained, doesn't sound like his laugh at all, "You're lying," he tries again.

Chanyeol is still in front of him, still serious, no corner of his lips ready to go up at the silliest joke, like it always does, "Baekhyun, I'm not."

"If we did, why can't I remember it?" Baekhyun snaps, his temples are throbbing, he just wants this bad joke to be over.

"Back in February, I picked you from a bar, you drank until you got a blackout," he's explaining as if he were a child, big and eyes making sure he's being followed, "we didn't do anything in the end, I took you home."

Baekhyun snorts, "Why? How can I believe you?" He's being looked straight in the eye, Chanyeol's orbs shine with something no liar could summon, the boy turns his head away.

''You were too drunk, we couldn't do it, you had a panic attack, I drove you back home," Inside of his head, Baekhyun is wailing, he wants to let it out, this pent up frustration makes his lip quiver. What must Chanyeol truly think of him?

"And..." he is harsher than before, maybe resigned too, "you've been doing all of this because you think I'm easy? Because you want to finish what we started before?''

Chanyeol snorts, astonished by the way the boy's mind seems to work against him, "What are you saying?" His hands go to the knees in front of him, he's gripping them with what he hopes is assurance, "Does it look like you're easy?

"I-" Baekhyun tries to get something out, but his head is hanged low. February was the month he met Dongjun too. How many things does he not remember? What else has he done in the nights he drank himself into a stupor? How many strangers had there been in between? No, this can't be real, his perception of himself is being torn down by the second. He isn't like this, he-"I don't usually do this..." Baekhyun sounds small, ever since he entered the room, it seems like this is the only tone he can summon, Chanyeol wishes for it to stop already.

"I know, silly," he's so undeserving of the smile Chanyeol keeps giving, fond, the crease around his eyes gentle, "you want to know why we stopped?" Slowly, Chanyeol's arms circle his legs completely, he has his chin resting on them, eyes not leaving the pair in front of him even for a second. Baekhyun nods, but he's unsure, even afraid.

"You got mad at me, because you didn't know how to blow me," Baekhyun flinches, the colour rushes to his cheekbones as they speak, "then when I tried to undress you, you panicked so hard we had to stop," Chanyeol leaves out any detail about the car ride and the smaller's upcoming panic attack, or how Baekhyun gave him the scare of his life when he found himself in a car with a shaking boy he barely knew, whom he had to reassure the whole night, promise him they could try again only to stop tears from flowing. Chanyeol won't forget that night any time soon.

Baekhyun's cheeks are crimson red, he's so ashamed he wants to hide and never face Chanyeol again. What's worse to be seen as in Chanyeol's eyes? An easy man or a boy getting scared by a dick? Both options are making his heart thump full of shame. But Chanyeol doesn't seem affected by neither, if anything, he is admiring Baekhyun more now, with his head unmoved from the thighs it nestled on, he chuckles, "Stop, Baekhyun, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

If only it was that easy to stop his mind once it started racing, he's still in a daze when Chanyeol unlaces one of his shoes, "and yes, at first I wanted you," one shoe down, "I still do, I want you a lot," his eyes go up, searching for a pair of chocolate orbs, making sure to put as much intensity in them as there is in his heart, "but I also want to help you, above anything else," the other shoe is gone, the socks come next, "because I want you by my side," the blisters Baekhyun talked about are out now, layer of roughed up skin over another, creating bumps over the frail looking feet, Chanyeol gives a soft blow, "I don't care if it's as a friend, an associate, or the one you chose," his nails aren't looking too good either, almost all of them appear bruised, blackened, Chanyeol gets the urge to kiss every one of them.

"Although it would make me very happy to be the one you chose," he has to refrain from it, only gives a gentle caress, "but that's not my final motive, I don't want you to doubt this ever again," Baekhyun is torn, tries to think, but it's like his brain shut down. There's a constant piercing in his head, his chest, Chanyeol's words settle heavy in both of them. He is trusting Chanyeol now, cordially, but what would tomorrow bring? He would give him assurance now, but he knows that tomorrow his heart will be as locked as it has always been. He will only bring disappointment to Chanyeol, kind, caring Chanyeol and his heart of gold. He's been keeping the man on his knees until now, they snap when he gets up, Baekhyun is focused, "Chanyeol..."

"I-I don't know what to say," please stop smiling like you're understanding of everything, he would like to say.

"You don't have to say anything," his hands are on his belt, Baekhyun falls on his back, doesn't show any disapproval in the silent request in Chanyeol's eyes.

He lowers his open jeans slowly, they stuck to him like a second skin, "Still, I want to know, why won't you accept my help?" but Chanyeol doesn't touch him further, gets the pants off and that is all. Why won't he, honestly? Baekhyun grunts, the ceiling is making him dizzy.

It's always been like this, to flirt with an idea is the easiest thing to do. Especially when what you're dreaming of has chances equal to zero of coming true. Fantasizing is the best escapism. But here is Chanyeol, the opportunity, offering to make what he's thought of so many times come true. How can he take the step? Change has always been the hardest for Baekhyun. He is scared. Maybe he is addicted, in some kind of way, Dongjun has gotten him hooked. Addicted to the miserable feeling, because at least he knows how he should feel.

Hooked on the pain too, he feels the most when he is in pain, if the feeling disappears, then how should he replace it? Baekhyun is worn out, used up, nothing comes after this, not for him. He is terrified.

"I'm scared," a trembling mumble, as he's laying now undressed on Chanyeol's bed, arms and legs spread lifelessly on an immaculate duvet.

"Scared of what?" Chanyeol's voice comes weaker from the wardrobe his head is thrown in, but Baekhyun catches the confusion all the same, "Of what comes next," the sob, the annoying sob always waiting in the back of his throat, it wants to escape again. Baekhyun is stronger, he always resists.

"Baekhyun, please-"

"No Chanyeol, please stop," he raises, the ceiling is getting him nauseous too.

"Think about it, okay?"

Baekhyun nods, his head isn't in it, but doesn't want to see Chanyeol like this longer. "Do you want to take a shower?" Just raising from his position pained him, standing underwater and away from this bed seems like an impossible task right now.

"Want me to dress you?" He nods with the conviction of a child, but his head is too heavy to hold him up any longer. Chanyeol's laugh rings in his ears. Baekhyun is almost asleep when his feet are being lifted, put back on the bed. Does he weight nothing to Chanyeol?

There's no way to get him to raise for the shirt, Chanyeol gives up. He has a 24-year-old child to take care of. Strong arms lift him completely, arrange him under the covers, then some time after, a weight on the bed from behind is pulling him out if the half-dream state.

He groans, startled but with no energy to react any other way. "Hyun?

"Mhm?" It's easy to fall back into the warm, uncovered chest waiting for him, there to catch him, "Take the day off tomorrow."

"Mhm..." it's not an agreement, nor an approval, it's more of a yes, shut up already, because the vibrations of Chanyeol's low timbre are keeping him awake. He falls asleep when a familiar hand starts caressing his hair, can't fight it anymore.

• • • • • •

Baekhyun jolts awake with a gasp. He's panicked,but he doesn't know why, until the look he takes around. The big bed is surely not his, nor do the covers smell like the detergent he uses, he looks around then he remembers, Chanyeol, he's at Chanyeol's. And from the look outside it's day already. Baekhyun is very, very pissed. He doesn't think much when he jumps from the bed. The only piece of clothing he's wearing is not his either. He can feel his temples about to burst with every step he takes towards a faint sound, but that won't stop him.

Chanyeol is in the kitchen, his small dog is placed on the countertop in front of him, while Chanyeol sings to it quietly at the same time he's putting away dishes. The steps towards the taller are rushed, he almost skips to get closer faster.  
Chanyeol is warned about Baekhyun's intentions late, when the latter lets out a gruff, angered, ''You! Fuck you!'' the previous serene expression on Chanyeol's face is replaced with one of confusion, but he's quick to catch the raised fists coming too close to his face, ''Fuck, let me go!'' Baekhyun is struggling, his arms are pinned to Chanyeol's chest, he looks alarmed, furious. Chanyeol is just so, so confused, ''Baek?''

''LET ME GO!'' He gives a harder tug, and Chanyeol's dog jumps from its spot. He feels his owner is in danger, and it all becomes a mess, the dog is barking, it tries to attack Baekhyun's legs, Chanyeol's voice won't call him down. In a moment of panic, Chanyeol scoops the smaller up, with no other solution at hand. Baekhyun is placed on the counter, where the dog used to stay.

''Toben, no! Bad boy!'' With his target out of reach, the dog loses its fight, just growls at everything around him. The look Baekhyun gives when Chanyeol turns back to him is murderous, icy eyes tearing him apart, ''What is this?''

''What is this?'' Baekhyun repeats slowly, then he burst, ''You fucking-'' his leg flies up, kicks the stomach of the one in front of him so he would step back, stop cornering him, ''Why didn't you wake me up? Huh?'' he takes a shaky breath, ''I'm gonna lose my job, my boss won't keep me after this, I'm going to-'' Something in Chanyeol switches, he turns into a predator, this is what the way he looks back at Baekhyun is saying. His eyes are sharp, his movements sharper as he goes from clutching on his stomach to gripping Baekhyun's thighs until he's shoved with his back into the wall. He has him pinned here, so he won't squirm and fight back anymore. Baekhyun is caged. ''You agreed to it, I asked you,''

Baekhyun's gaze is unimpressed, almost superior, he doesn't even flinch at the hard wall, but his quivering legs tell a different story, ''I wasn't serious!'' When his tone goes up, Chanyeol's voice goes raspier, Baekhyun feels it too close to his face, ''And how the fuck am I supposed to know when you're serious and when you're not?'' His grip is unforgiving, ''Are you ever serious, Baekhyun?'' It slips without much thought, and Chanyeol realized these are his frustrations slipping out right now, frustrations Baekhyun never asked for. His hands drawback, like he's been burned, Chanyeol has hurt Baekhyun, who he has promised to protect, and his head is hanged low for it, ''Hyun, no, wait,'' the roughness of his previous voice is just an echo in Baekhyun's ears now, ''Let's stop this,''

"I'm going to get fired," Baekhyun says, he doesn't acknowledge any word given to him. The anger is gone, it made way for his soulless eyes, which, for Chanyeol, is worse. Chanyeol can't look him in the eye for too long, not with this burning shame, "No, you're not,"

Baekhyun snorts. "I went to excuse you in the morning, I told them you had a high fever and could get up, it's alright Hyun," he steps aside, enough to get the message to Baekhyun who steps down, "and your boss said it was okay, you have the right to one free day per week anyway.''

But Baekhyun keeps shaking his head, ''No, it isn't,'' Toben is back at his feet, but the small dog is just sniffing him, Baekhyun pays him no mind, ''I know my boss, he-''

''Baekhyun, please,'' Chanyeol grabs his face, does it more carefully than every touch he's given Baekhyun until now, ''Look at me, please,'' and he's really pleading, with his eyes, Baekhyun realizes how fidgety he was until now, he stops, ''I talked to him. I promise you, he won't,'' Chanyeol feels the smaller is about to shake his head again from the hold he has on his cheeks, ''I promise.''

Baekhyun lets out a grave breath, and with it gone is the stiffness in his body too, he has given up. He can't see anything besides Chanyeol's eyes, they're bright, but clouded with guilt too, the mix makes Baekhyun feel bad for his outburst, the insults he'd thrown at the one whose bed he had slept on, whose clothes he's wearing, whose warm house is shielding him right now, his hands go up too, rest on the ones on his cheeks, he caresses the rough skin- ''I'm sorry, Hyun,''

''Thank you.''

Chanyeol stops from what he had to add, he's surprised, and relieved, his face breaks into a kind smile, to Baekhyun he looks like a child, with his cheekbones shining, eyes crinkling, "I made lunch," Just how long has Baekhyun slept?

"Come on, I hope it's good," Baekhyun is dragged by the hand, dog following closely after them. He does look like an excited child, Baekhyun doesn't understand what is there to be so happy about in him trying his food, but he sits at the table anyway, the sight of Chanyeol's smile is quite pleasant to him, "Agh, give me some water first, this taste in my mouth is horrible," Chanyeol chuckles at his grimace, water is the first thing he takes out, "You're still looking good after last night, I'm surprised,"

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, ''This is nothing, old man,'' Chanyeol turns to him, offended, but playful ''Why don't you show some respect for the one feeding you, brat?''

Before Baekhyun can retort with something, a big plate is placed in front of him, and it looks so good his mouth starts watering, despite the foul taste he has, something he recognizes as fried rice follows, ''What is this?'' He has so much admiration for Chanyeol,

''Kung Pao Chicken, you like?'' he says as he's taking a place at the table as well, when everything needed is settled in front of them, ''I...don't know I never tried it,'' Chanyeol picks up that devil of a dog as well, places it on the chair next to him, ''When did you make all of this? Why?''

‘’What? Chinese is my favourite!’’ Chanyeol exclaims as he gives the first bite of the chicken to the dog, then digs in himself, ‘’I couldn’t sleep much, and I had to wake up anyway to go to the restaurant,’’ /you didn’t have to/, Baekhyun wants to say, ‘’and I couldn’t sleep after so I thought…why not impress you with my cooking skills?’’

Baekhyun watches, his plate untouched, his stomach is doing flips as well as hurting him to remind the boy to never drink again, and he’s gathering the courage to taste the food too, ‘’Don’t get too cocky, I’ll be the judge of that,’’  
Chanyeol pouts, and Baekhyun brings a shaky hand to his mouth. He doesn’t say anything else after, munching slowly, Chanyeol is almost fidgeting in his seat, eyes wide and anticipating, Baekhyun drags it out just to tease him.

‘’So?’’

‘’Hmmm, yeah, it’s okay.’’ Toben turns to the smaller when he begins eating too, almost jumps on his lap, Baekhyun looks at him with a scowl. ‘’Okay?’’ Chanyeol sniffs, ‘’You’re hurting me.’’

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, ‘’It’s amazing you cry-baby, now shut up.’’

Chanyeol seems to be pleased with that, resumes his eating.

‘’Why couldn’t you sleep?’’ Breaks the silence minutes later. ‘’Uhm, I don’t know, guess I’m not used to sharing my bed,’’ Chanyeol looks straight into his eyes, not blinking, not backing down, and Baekhyun can tell it’s a downright lie, but the peace they’re in makes it hard for him to say anything about it. Chanyeol won’t tell him what a light sleeper he is, and how long it takes for him to go back to sleep after being woken up.

Baekhyun still has his habit of jumping, flinching, crying out in his sleep, and Chanyeol can’t help but jolt awake at any sudden movement from the smaller. No, he’ll keep it to himself, let Baekhyun have his rest. Baekhyun nods, he's pushed down the lump in his throat, and the food tastes too heavenly to resist it any longer. Chanyeol watches with soft amusement as every big gulp the smaller takes is followed by a melodious ''mmmm,'', the face he makes is the cutest, cheeks appearing fuller now with his stuffed mouth, he looks like a hamster, Chanyeol suppresses the urge to reach out to him. ''Stop staring at me and eat your food,'' Ah, yes, soft face and harsh words. The lovely Baekhyun.

Toben doesn't waste time anymore and jumps on his lap, displeased with the lack of attention, Baekhyun glares at him, Chanyeol has to laugh. "Don't scare my puppy,"

"Me?" "Look at how you're glaring at him, oh no baby," Chanyeol reaches out, takes the dog in his arms, cradles it like it's his child, "Don't listen to him baby, you deserve all the food, take mine," then the dog is in his lap, nose buried in the almost empty plate. Baekhyun scoffs, "Your baby attacked me."

Chanyeol lets out a puff of air, ''And you attacked me,'' Baekhyun narrows his eyes, ''Aren't I still feeding you though?'' The plate is clean in a blink of an eye, the man pats the dog's butt, kisses its nose lovingly.

  
It's almost unbelievable, this contrast between what Chanyeol is supposed to represent, what he does, and how he is acting now that the giant is comfortable enough with Baekhyun. Baekhyun takes his time to scan the one in front of him, done with eating too now. Chanyeol is still shirtless, very much as he is, new tattoos exposed where he didn't get a peek the last time he's looked at his body, scattered around on his torso, his arms, and a puppy rests close to them, contradicting what Baekhyun knew about tatted-up guys, about bad guys.

This one is supposed to be intimidating. And he is, but not with Baekhyun. It's confusing. Why would he, how long will he, how much will he are running through Baekhyun's mind. But he pushes them aside and decides then, he's sure of this. He decides that there's no way the bright smiles Chanyeol is overflowing with can be fake. No one can trick their eyes into doing this. He can't. He would like to try for Chanyeol. But Baekhyun would only be a fruitless pursuit for the taller, he knows.

He decides that there's no way the bright smiles Chanyeol is overflowing with can be fake. No one can trick their eyes into doing this. He can't. He would like to try for Chanyeol. But Baekhyun would only be a fruitless pursuit for the taller, he knows.

He doesn't notice Chanyeol begins playing his game too. Leans in to stare back, amused. It's late when the teasing voice brings him back, "You like my nipples that much?" Baekhyun is slow to process, his eyes snap up. The last place his gaze trailed to before his mind ran off was the silver metal shining from one of Chanyeol's nipples, and they remained there until now. Baekhyun clears his throat, fights away the urge to lower his head to escape being called out like this.

"Aren't you confident?" Chanyeol bursts into a laugh, "I am," Baekhyun rolls his eyes, Chanyeol then places the puppy in his lap, gets up, "Here, you two make up, I'm gonna do the dishes,"

The smaller eyes the dogs warily, but the little creature seems to be enjoying the attention, unaware of anything else. Chanyeol's words make him catch his hand before he can retreat, "No, let me help," Chanyeol shakes his head, little smile on his lips, "No, it's your free day, you don't have to do anything," he turns before the waiter can add anything else, snatches the empty plates and reaches the sink in a second, Baekhyun groans. Toben is liking his hands, tail flying in the air happily, he sighs, finally giving in into the dog's wishes.

Chanyeol's back muscles move with every wipe the taller applies, Baekhyun watches quietly, until an idea crosses his mind, "Can I take a shower?" Chanyeol jumps, used to the silence between them, he looks back over his shoulder, "Uhm, sure" Toben is given his seat.

"Pick whatever you want from my closet, you know where the bathroom is," he winks and turns back to his previous work.

Baekhyun does just that, steals an old looking t-shirt with a band he thinks Chanyeol has mentioned before and some underwear then locks himself in the cozy-looking bathroom. Behind him, he can hear a radio turn on, Chanyeol singing quietly. When he is finally done the bathroom is misty from all of the time Baekhyun spent under the hot water. He finds Chanyeol with his long limbs spread out on the bed, attention caught by the TV in front of him but it changes when Baekhyun steps into the room.

The bigger man smiles at his shirt choices. He pats the seat next to him. "Chanyeol," he clears his throat, "I should go home,"

"What?" Chanyeol raises up by his elbows, his eyes hold that playful glint again, "You know, I'm going to feel really used if you leave now,"

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, "If my cat runs out of the food I left he's gonna hate me forever," His words are vague to Chanyeol, but his actions are not, the boy is making his way to bed, sits down, "What are you watching?" Chanyeol crawls up until he hits the headboard, picks one side to offer the other to the smaller, which he takes,

"They're broadcasting season one of True Detective again, here," Chanyeol offers the pillow he was resting on. Baekhyun is confused, eyes going between Chanyeol and the moving screen. Chanyeol gasps, loud. "You-" he shakes his head, "I sometimes forget you're a baby," it earns him a pinch, to which Chanyeol laughs. He turns to Baekhyun, hand pointing to the TV, "So, all you need to know is that /this/ is Rust Cohle," Baekhyun looks to where it's pointed, back at Chanyeol unimpressed. That doesn't stop the man, "He has some problems but we still love him, okay?" Chanyeol nods slowly, trying to get the reaction out of him too, Baekhyun fights hard the smile about to form on his face, "Also, season one is the best season and the only one we're watching, /ok/?"

Baekhyun studies him, with his head tilted, appearing in thought. He stretches out the silence only to see the reaction he's going to get, "You know, Chanyeol, I think I've been lied to,"

Chanyeol's eyebrows knit, "How?"

The smirk Baekhyun has is cat-like, a little cruel, "There's no way you're 28 and older than me."

Chanyeol pouts, "And I think you have a personal problem with me or something," he turns on his side, away from him with his face hidden, Baekhyun can see his grin, but he still plays his game, "Did I upset the baby? Are you gonna cry?" Baekhyun doesn't know why he's doing this. It's a little embarrassing, to be honest, but he knows Chanyeol won't judge him, he's the one initiating this. The sniff that follows is too loud to believed by anyone, "I might, a little," another sniff.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, draws closer to the man until he has his chest touching his back, Chanyeol's bare skin is warm, he feels it even through his shirt, "Oh no, please don't," Chanyeol can't make his voice sound more childish, "I'll try, but my feelings are really hurt..."

Baekhyun's arms circle his back, he's pressed against him, hands sneaking to his front to tickle a little, "How can I make it better then?" Chanyeol stifles a giggle, slaps Baekhyun's hands away, they remain resting on his abdomen, "Not like this," he's out of character for a second, voice going back to its usual guttural sounds, he sniffs again. "Then what should I do, big baby?"

Suddenly, Chanyeol's body feels different in his hold, it unwinds, the man falls back into him, so soft he could be molded, his voice is more delicate too, "Stay like this a little longer," his big hands engulf Baekhyun's ones, intertwined on his stomach.

"Okay," Baekhyun whispers back, he doesn't know why, when there isn't anyone he would disturb, but the air around them demands it. They go back to the TV, close like this, Chanyeol throws remarks every once in a while, but Baekhyun can't get into what they're watching no matter what. He gets bored, his gaze starts wandering, then his mind, his hands. His fingers skip over the faint curves on Chanyeol's abdomen, it hardens under the touch, Chanyeol is ticklish. But he doesn't get other reaction out of him.  
He doesn't dare go up, towards the piercing that caught his eye. His fingerprints make a detour, now on his arm, he caresses it slowly, drags it on and on, until all of its length has been covered in goosebumps.

Baekhyun's chest gives a strange feeling, regret, desperation, longing. A mixture. The cold, slender fingers reach Chanyeol's nape, going for the front would be too intimate, downright suggestive. Baekhyun scratches with his short nails, presses against the heated skin. Chanyeol flinches, the smaller hears his breath hitch, it's shaky, just like the rest of the body he's holding.  
Chanyeol presses back on him, especially with his lower body, especially on his crotch, testings with a pinch of teasing "Do you want to...?" he turns his head to him, eyes shining with uncertainty, timidness, hope, but above all, trust. He is trusting Baekhyun, his eyes don't tell lies, this is a raw version of himself.

He is offering.

And Baekhyun wants to be selfish enough to take. He ponders on it. And the thought to just do it settles in his mind. Take Chanyeol, hurt him like this, until the man would stop throwing his trust around like it's nothing to him. Take him and see how it feels to hurt someone so naive and unguarded. Make Chanyeol stop this pointless chase of theirs, hurt him enough so he would stop trying. So Baekhyun can go back to his normal life.

But he's the biggest hypocrite, really, because in the hopeful eyes in front of him lay his own, mirroring, giving back just as much. He won't be able to live without Chanyeol's presence in his life even if he tried, not when the latter has become his silent, steady support for every day Baekhyun gets through. No, Baekhyun doesn't want to. Chanyeol and the source of his mystery, where his anger should be directed towards, have nothing in common, and the man in front of him doesn't deserve this.  
But he's hurting him already, he's taking too long to answer and the one in his arms sighs softly, turns his head back. Baekhyun doesn't miss the dejected, downhearted look he tries to hide behind the raised corners of his mouth. His body feels more rigid in his hold.

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun calls out, with tenderness, warmth, "Can you turn around?" He doesn't want Chanyeol to get the wrong impression. He does, wary and still with his head lowered but he does as Baekhyun asks him. Baekhyun lifts his chins up using his fingers, searches for his eyes, and Chanyeol gives in easily, but his characteristic light is tamed down. The smaller takes in the sigh in front of him, and he regrets, he regrets so much,

"Do you know how beautiful you are, Chanyeol?" His voice is nothing but a warm breath on the attentive face in front of him. His hand resting idly on his cheek begins tracing the curves of his face, his strong jaw, tall nose, two of his fingers circle his plumb lips, and he spreads the moist he finds there around the pink petals. A shiver runs through Chanyeol, they don't break eye contact as Baekhyun comes closer again, "Your eyes must be the prettiest I've ever seen."

Baekhyun breathes out a dry laugh, he's being selfish again, "I like the way they look at me the most." He's mesmerized by the sight in front of him, how Chanyeol lays his heart out in the open once again. Emotions equal to foreign to him are making his chest rumble.  
Baekhyun doesn't know how to deal with their appearance after so long. The other watches his every moment curiously, waiting, searching in Baekhyuns orbs for something the latter can't pinpoint.

A moment of hesitation, Baekhyun lifts his head slightly and clumsily attaches his trembling lips to the man's forehead, he's so scared he'll do something wrong that at first skin barely meets skin, but then his lips remain there. Chanyeol sighs, closes his eyes, his arms raise to return the hug, tightly holding on to Baekhyun. "And you don't deserve this," Baekhyun murmurs against his forehead, squeezes back, "I have nothing to offer, Chanyeol." A pause, "And if I can't give you what you deserve, I won't give you anything at all."

The silence is too long before Chanyeol replies with something, the man's forehead is burning, it makes Baekhyun's lips tingle, but he pecks it again and again. "I wish you could see yourself the way I do," if Chanyeol tried, he could easily reach the chin above him, return the soft kisses he's given, but he doesn't, his face remains hidden in the long neck he's only been able to admire from a distance, it's so close now, his breath is hitting the unmarred, golden skin, "I promise, one day, I'll change your mind, I won't give up,"

The words come in whispers for Baekhyun, and he wishes he could pretend he didn't hear them, because his brain can't form the right answer for Chanyeol.

But Chanyeol is not done, "Just give me the chance to. Stay like this," his words tickle Baekhyun's neck. "Don't push me away anymore." The only answer he gets is the weight that settles on top of his head. Baekhyun sighs softly, black hair is scratching his cheek.

Chanyeol gets further confirmation when hands begin to roam his back, they trace unknown patterns, put him to sleep.

Baekhyun his left wide awake, his hands don't stop even after Chanyeol is long asleep. He tries not to move for the taller, but he can't go back to sleep as he did. The options left are the still running TV, how little attention he's paid it until now, but now it helps pass time. More entertaining though, is the one in his arms, who he watches after a while of boring commercials. Baekhyun realizes he's never slept after Chanyeol, never seen this version of a curled up child, with his tightly clutching hands on Baekhyun's shirt, legs circling around him like a snake circles its prey. Sleeping, Chanyeol doesn't look even a bit of his is age. Baekhyun feels like breaking out into a smile. But he catches himself in time.

  
Times flies when his eyes are locked on Chanyeol.

• • • • • •

When the man opens his eyes again, the October sun is setting outside.

They part later at Baekhyun's door, where Chanyeol's smile blooms into full hopefulness. He offers his help again, but is turned down immediately. Baekhyun has their shared hug to remember as he steps into the cold room. It looks deserted, in comparison to where he'd been until now, nothing homely, no smell of food lingering in the air to greet him. Baekhyun laughs bitterly, the only food he has in this house is cup noodles and cat food.

What reminds him he's home though, is his cat, in the loudest way possible. They scream at each other for minutes, Baekhyun recreating the sounds that come out of Brown Paw and the cat getting angrier. It goes on until they reach the bowl of food, it's not empty, but it's not full either, his cat doesn't like that.  
Baekhyun is worried. The visit is inevitable at this point, it's been too long and the moment Dongjun steps through the door makes Baekhyun do everything with a heavy feeling weighing down on his chest. He cleans around, looks behind his back. Changes the sheets, listens for any car getting too close, takes a shower, verifies if the bathroom door is closed thrice. Before Chanyeol, he would just wait.

Waiting stops around 10, like he knew it would, when the door takes Baekhyun out of his floating state. Dongjun wears the sickest smile, it could split up his face in two if he tried harder. The officer opens his door with an exclamation of ''baby'', rushes to the couch to take Baekhyun into his arms. He smells of women's perfume, Baekhyun is disgusted for more reasons than one.

And Baekhyun is out of it from here, won't respond to cold touches, won't react to the I missed you's that follow, won't shiver from the nose sniffing his hair, nape. The ceiling is his favourite spot in times like this.

''Oh, Baekkie, I hope we never stay apart for this long again,'' Baekhyun is in his lap, while the man whispers sweet nothings in his ear he doesn't want to catch, and hands roam his body freely until his voice grasps a more serious tone. ''Baby, I've been thinking...''

Brown Paw is playing with a lost sock around the room, Baekhyun keeps watching him absently. ''And I want you to quit your job.'' Baekhyun flinches, suddenly the cat is blurred in his vision, ''I went to the hospital today and paid your father's new meds,''

Baekhyun's fist is closed tightly, his nails are digging into flesh, he presses more, ''I can handle it myself.'' He adds flatly, not turning his head to see the deranged face who's waiting for him. ''No, baby, you were behind 2 weeks,'' the words are spoken lovingly but the way he's turned around is forceful, Baekhyun would've lost his balance if not for the man who's keeping him caged against him. ''You work yourself too much and for nothing,'' Baekhyun tries to take his face out of the rough hands, ''I want you to move in with me, I can pay for anything you want.''

''No.'' It's simple, final, Baekhyun grits out through his teeth, done with any game.

A hand on his lips stop him, the man cradles Baekhyun like he's a baby, ''Shhh, I knew you would say that, that's why I wasn't asking,''

''No!'' Baekhyun says again.

''It's for your own good, silly baby. I'm going to talk to them myself.''

Panic makes Baekhyun act fast, he's shaking, he realizes when his hands rest on Dongjun's face, ''N-no, please I-'' Dongjun seems pleased at the touch, the smaller isn't thinking, just acts, anything to prevent it from happening, ''I want to work too, I want to be useful, p-please,'' his throat is hurting, the words are spat out, so far from the truth,''I want to work for us, f-for our future.'' This is the longest he's looked into Dongjun's eyes, he feels pathetic, but the man seems to back down, his hands drop from Baekhyun, lets him caress his face however he wants. Baekhyun would like to claw his face at this moment.

''Hyunee, you love me too!'' He can't give back any words, forcing it would only bring him more trouble, what he does is bury his face in the man's neck, move above him until the other gets the suggestion.

**brief sex scene that's part consensual, I don't know if I should label it as rape**

Baekhyun does the work this time, with his conscience ringing loudly in his head, above anything else, and acridity threatening to spill out of his mouth with every move. He works himself open, because he's given the time now, and moves by himself, until his legs give out. He doesn't dare raise his head from the neck it's muffled in. That'll mean he'd have to acknowledge the one who's really invading everything he calls his in this moment.  
No, hidden like this, Baekhyun can pretend he's on top of a bigger man, gentler. It's what makes his go on when his body is screaming at him to give up.

• • • • • •

Dongjun drops him off in the morning, when the man leaves wearing an enamored look that doesn't suit him at all, Baekhyun wonders if he's made a mistake.

Five minutes of peace would be enough for him, really, only five minutes and that'll make up for the whole day. Baekhyun doesn't get that, though. Minseok, the only co-worker that won't leave him alone, even after Baekhyun's abrasive persona has come out in full force, greets him with a suggestive look the moment he steps inside the still-closed restaurant.

''You sly fox!'' A pat on the back comes in place of a ''hi'', Baekhyun is confused. ''Just a customer my ass!'' Minseok laughs, he's in a playful mood, put Baekhyun doesn't feel like reciprocating anything. He goes on with setting the tables, throws a questioning glance, ''Tall hottie and a fever, how convenient.'' The man is still laughing, he enjoys teasing Baekhyun, ''Did you enjoy that fever, Byun?''

Baekhyun has the urge to throw the knife in his hand at the annoying midget, ''What the fuck are you talking about?''

''Well, you know...your boy came in, asked for boss,'' he chuckles secretively, ''He's kind of scary you know, he left the old man on the edge all day,'' Baekhyun is done with his share of tables, worked extra fast so he'd have a reason to ignore the words that bring guilt to him. He points towards the unmade tables, ''Stop talking and do your work, it's almost opening time.'' Minseok rolls his eyes, but proceeds to.

The day is busy, too busy to let Baekhyun think about anything else as he runs from table to table, to the kitchen and back again. At night, a car waits for him outside, but it's a smaller one than what he's used too, it has "police" imprinted on it too. Dongjun came only to pick him up, everything he does is overly sweet the whole ride, Baekhyun doesn't hear even half of what's being related so lively. But he hears when the officer says his schedule changed. Now working one day, one night. Tonight is the night shift, Dongjun drops him off.

Chanyeol doesn't come for dinner, Baekhyun doesn't find him waiting outside his door either, although a part of him has been curious to how their next meeting after yesterday would be, he pushes the thought aside, maybe it's better this way.

But when he's settled in bed, 2 hours after he entered the front door, a car door outside is shut loudly, it's Chanyeol's car, and muffled voices follow until they're lost in the distance, Baekhyun can't help but think it over again. Chanyeol didn't visit on purpose, he knows.

So it makes him wonder, go over everything again, everything that he said and he regrets now, everything he's accepted as truth from Chanyeol's mouth. He's trying really hard, but the paranoid side of him is stronger, one year of actions weight more than one night of words.

Baekhyun wonders, is Chanyeol raising him so high so the fall would be greater? He's really fighting against it.

The next night, when he's with Dongjun, there's still no sign of Chanyeol. Baekhyun prays that there won't be one now. But he shouldn't really worry, because the tall man doesn't look like he is planning to show up anyway. It burns in Baekhyun's chest, the disappointment.

The third day finds Baekhyun in a sour mood, one that he doesn't try to hide as he does with the usual ones. The day drags on, until he's outside jiggling the keys of the keyway and Baekhyun can't believe it's really over. It's not, though, behind him waits a car, he notices when he turns around, a big car, with tinted windows.

Baekhyun has half the mind to look the other way. The man hasn't done anything to him, but he still feels hurt, just from his presence now. Chanyeol is one step ahead of him, when he steps out of the car and forward to greet Baekhyun first, "Hi," his big, dumb smile is relieved and his hands come up by instinct, but he stills them by force, "I missed you," says him, and the big grin.

"Didn't seem like it," he's hardly keeping his lower lip from trembling. Last night, the tiredness he gathered through the day and something purely Chanyeol is making it hard for him to keep a normal conversation without his eyes burning. Why does Baekhyun feel so betrayed only for two insignificant days? "Where were you?" He's not beating around the bush, but Chanyeol keeps offering his warm smile.

They go back inside the car, Baekhyun gets in without having to be asked, "I've been working, I'm trying to gain some favours so I've been taking all kind of works," Chanyeol doesn't rush to start the car, his head is resting on his car seat, watching a quiet Baekhyun as he takes in his words. Chanyeol takes in everything about him, from head to toe, he's truly missed the smaller.

"Why so sudden?" Baekhyun speaks up then he rubs his eyes, they keep getting smaller and smaller, Chanyeol's eyes are sparkling just at the mellow notes of Baekhyun's voice, "I have to get on my boss's good side for something I might need in the future" Chanyeol pauses, "can I hug you?"

Instead of replying, Baekhyun is the one that reaches out across his seat. The stinging in his eyes is ever so present. And maybe it's because last night he was telling himself that Chanyeol won't come back because he was done playing his little game.

Chanyeol rubs his back comforting, probably feeling the tense muscles on his there, "I actually have to do something tonight too, but I came to see you first," Baekhyun is completely hidden in his arms, he wishes the giant didn't speak up again, "Take me with you," Baekhyun pulls back to look in his eyes, serious, "What? Aren't you tired?" The smaller shakes his head, what a liar, his sunken cheeks give him away, "Can you run in case it's needed?"

He hesitates on this one, Chanyeol grimaces, "Hyun, I'll take you home and come after, how about this?" But once he's set his mind on something, nothing can move Baekhyun, he shakes his head, "I can do it, I wanna come,"

Chanyeol starts the car, reaches out for the backseat, gives a black sweater similar to his own to Baekhyun, who's wearing white for his work uniform, then throws the beanie he's wearing into his lap, "Take this too, we're going on an open field and it's windy,"

"I'm not a kid, you know," Baekhyun murmurs as he fixes his hair under the beanie, "Well, you look like one, I'm not gonna risk it," Chanyeol stifles a laugh, bites his tongue teasingly, Baekhyun ignores him with a roll of his eyes, "So what are we exactly going to do?"

Chanyeol clears his throat, mirth gone from his voice, "We're going next town to steal back some documents one of their men stole when he visited my boss."

They're really heading outside of town, Baekhyun observers the field scenery through the window, October is a pretty, colorful month, it reminds him of when it's been his favorite once, "And how are we going to do that?"

Chanyeol searches timidly for his hand and when coldness meets his own, he places it on the shifter, covered by his, when they're not changing gears, Chanyeol plays with the slim hand absently,  
"We're leaving the car at a gas station near, the storehouse they use is across the highway where we'll park, it's hidden in the field, we'll walk there, and hopefully walk back, if it goes well."

Baekhyun nods, repeating everything inside his head, already having half of the image clear, but he can't hold back from the remark, "The little peacemaker, our diplomat," Chanyeol suddenly steps on the brakes, it makes Baekhyun head fly forward and his smug expression fade, "It's hard times we live in, kid, I gotta do what I gotta do," the man gives his best attempt at an old man's voice, Baekhyun squeezes his hand, gives a little push to the shifter without actually causing any movement to it, "Careful, grandpa," It earns him a fond caress over his knuckles, "it's late and only one man is left to guard, and he's taking his usual break soon,"

Baekhyun nods, "What happens if we get caught?" He asks, "Let's not think about that, hm?" Moist lips peck the back of his hand, then Baekhyun's hand is free again, left cold in his lap, Chanyeol is parking the car, time flew again in his presence.

Before they leave the car, Chanyeol gives one small backpack to the smaller and one knife, the latter being eyed hesitantly by Baekhyun. It's the first time Baekhyun sees Chanyeol carrying a gun with him, it makes him assume the worst. He doesn't know that the man only wants him safe, if anything should happen.

Getting across the highway is easy, Baekhyun pants just a little after, while Chanyeol's laugh fills his ears, he seems alive with excitement. The field filled with tall, wild grass that still has to turn dull under the autumn colour proves to be harder, the leaves are hardened from the wild life, and they cut with every occasion they get. Chanyeol leads the way, there's a path already to the way they're following, but until one point until it splits in more, Chanyeol chooses to make one new path too, and Baekhyun has to ask, "This way, if we're being followed they won't figure out which way we went," It makes sense, Baekhyun wants to know more, the way Chanyeol puts it so simply it's captivating.

"And what are the chances to be followed?" Baekhyun is holding tight on the hand extended to him, Chanyeol shrugs. "Great," Baekhyun deadpans. The grass gets smaller, until it's not standing in the way anymore, the storehouse Chanyeol talked about is ahead of them, the taller takes a look at his watch, "So, he should be away right now, there's no car in here," Baekhyun squeezes his hand tighter, lip between his teeth, "Is it alright if you'll stay outside and guard the door?"

Chanyeol chuckles fondly, "Leave that lip alone, come on, we'll be fine,"

"I'm not very good at guarding," Baekhyun says, "Just watch out for any car returning and knock on the door if there's any problem, okay?" They reach the back, in front of building there's a country road, which Baekhyun watches carefully, as Chanyeol slips in through the door. It'd have been better for them both to go in, Baekhyun realizes, because now outside, he's on the verge of losing his mind, with every second when Chanyeol is out of his sight.

He just wants the taller with him, not sent in an abandoned-looking building with all the lights out and potential surprises inside.  
It's barely 5 minutes after when Baekhyun hears a whistle. His head snaps in that direction, he's hidden away, but from behind the corner, he can see an old man walking towards the main door. Baekhyun is on the door in a second. He knows thrice, but nothing comes back.

Baekhyun is panicking, the knocks are less coordinated this time, blame his shaking hands. Still, no one comes out. The whistling is clear. Baekhyun opens the door, exclams in a whisper, "Someone is coming, come on!" "Wait, can't find it all,"

"Chanyeol!"

"A second!" A hushed answer. Baekhyun's head snaps out again, the whistling is closer than before, "Chanyeol, he's coming through the front door, come on!"

The giant is coming, Baekhyun can't see anything besides darkness but he can hear footsteps, they're out against the closed door next. But why is the whistling still close? Closer than before? The man didn't take the front door, he's rounding the corner instead, Chanyeol has his finger pressed against his lips as a sign, they're backing away slowly, and the darkness is helping. But the whistling doesn't go on, they're been spotted.

A "hey!" resonates against the night's echo, Chanyeol only grabs his hand, doesn't get the chance to say the word because Baekhyun is already running. Chanyeol is guiding him again as words of wait, I'll catch you, stay there are thrown after them.  
The old man manages to run after them, even in his state, he also manages to fire after them, but the distance is too big already. Chanyeol still sends Baekhyun in front of him with a push at the first gunshot. They don't stop running until the cursing is far away.

They're hidden in the grass again, Chanyeol wants to say something, the smaller sees his mouth opening but that's all before Baekhyun collapses against him. They fall on the ground.  
The documents are thrown aside, Chanyeol is above the boy, features covered in fear as he's scanning his face, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, Hyun, are you alright?" Baekhyun wants to reply, but his lungs are holding him back, all Chanyeol sees are clouded eyes.

A wheeze comes out when Baekhyun would've liked to say a word, then when he tries again, more, he's choking on them, and Chanyeol is left to watch in terror, "No, no, sit up, don't speak," big hands help him up, and he's now panting against Chanyeol shoulder, breaking the pant with a cough. Baekhyun feels like he's out of his body, with how he has zero control over it. At least his arms are listening, his hold on Chanyeol is iron tight. Comforting rubs on his back help him break out of the adrenaline, slowly his voice is back again, but it breaks out into a laugh. Baekhyun doesn't really know why he's laughing, it just escapes his throat, it doesn't even sound like his laugh.

Chanyeol watches it turn from hysterical, to gritting, purely mad, holding no humor in it. Baekhyun has lost it, in his arms, he's coming apart in the scariest way possible. This laugh sounds like another person. "What if-," a wheeze, "you almost- the gun nearly-"

It changes all too fast. Before the taller knows it, Baekhyun pulls back to look at him, a grin splitting his face, "That was fun!" Chanyeol has his eyebrows furrowed, Baekhyun has the upper hand, he uses all of his weight to make Chanyeol land on his back, with him on top.

The pitch-black warehouse didn't creep him out like this, but Baekhyun's grin does, "Hyun-" Laughing drowns the words out, then lips do. Baekhyun's mouth comes crashing down on his. Their teeth have a battle of their own as Baekhyun presses and presses.

Hands on the smaller's shoulders break them apart, their exchanged looks holds all of the words needed as they're leaning in again. Both of them this time. It's an aggressive game of chasing, boys kiss fiercer than girls do. Baekhyun finds out. With them both trying to dominate the kiss, pushing and pulling at each other, trying to steal the other's air until the only thing he remembers is just him him him.  
Baekhyun wants to, wants to be filled only with him, get intoxicated like this. Even his toes are numb, He never knew he could kiss back so forcefully and not be afraid the the reciever will tell him to stop, the other end kisses just as enthusiastically.

Briefly, his girlfriend from college crosses his mind, and how he had never been sure of how to handle her, how much to hold back. He realises this feels better than any girl's lips, chasing hungry ones and being challenged, the bruising kiss Chanyeol is giving him gets him tingling more than any girl's has ever, all that Baekhyun knows in this moment is that he wants this from now on, only this, only plump lips against his.

The flame burns out though, if the first kiss was Baekhyun's doing, the one they share after a breath of air is purely Chanyeol, with the man's tongue gently exploring anything it can, engaging his own in a tired dance, unrushed, Baekhyun's face is caressed while his mouth is being cherished. Minutes get lost on them as they explore new territories, new feelings.  
"Hyun?" Is whispered against his lips, "Hm?"

"Let's go home." They part with a peck. Then when the documents are secured in the backpack Baekhyun is carrying, Chanyeol steals a peck again.

It goes on like this, stolen kisses from Chanyeol in the car, from a gigging Baekhyun, stolen glances across the seats while they head towards Baekhyun's place. Their chase culminates when Baekhyun's door is closed, and their lips come together again. It's an ongoing contest from then, with how many places Chanyeol can pull out gasps from Baekhyun in. The couch is too small, Baekhyun ends up in his lap, and the rhythm slows down, Chanyeol's heart doesn't. It drums against Baekhyun's chest, it makes the boy want to take his sweet time,  
to hold Chanyeol as their breaths are becoming one, for hours.

They must look pathetic from the outside, especially now, as they're in their own bubble, everything but the other's eyes is blurred. It feels like hours since they started this, but Baekhyun can't help it, he still steals little kisses between their glaces, breaks the loving stare Chanyeol is drowning him in to have a taste of his lips again, and again. The man is rocking him in his lap, no intention hidden behind it, Chanyeol's open expression give everything away. He's being rocked like a child, while Chanyeol plays with his hair.  
It's dirty, Baekhyun scrunches his nose up, he would, but Chanyeol doesn't seem to mind it. Then they're cuddled on the couch, impossibly close, almost as if they are one. The cold air breaking in through the half broken window doesn't seem that bad, suddenly.

Chanyeol is whispering love in his ear while Baekhyun can't do anything but keep quiet. The giant is talking about his heart while Baekhyun can't feel it.

He doesn't feel anything, apart from guilt, the part of his heart not filled with it is numb, locked from everyone, even himself. How Baekhyun whishes things were different. Because now, he would've used his words, instead of his lips to respond to Chanyeol's words full of endearment.

Chanyeol stops when his cheeks start feeling wet. it's not from him, when he looks up, Baekhyun's eyes are wide open, staring at him, tears are streaming down his face but he doesn't make a sound. It's almost as he doesn't realise it. No reaction comes out of the boy.

"Love," Chanyeol circles his body with his arms, changing from where he's been sitting in Baekhyun's embrace, "what is it?" Baekhyun shrugs, shakes his head and the tears as well, but they won't stop. He didn't feel like crying one minute ago, and now his tears won't listen. Chanyeol catches them all, while they're swaying back and forth, his shirt takes the salty tears Baekhyun won't stop giving.

"I'm tired," Baekhyun whispers on his chest, "I'm sorry,"

"Then let's sleep, yeah?"

"No I-" Baekhyun raises his head to search for him, "I'm afraid," Chanyeol just nods, encourages him to continue, Baekhyun sighs, tries to regain his breath but it gives out into a hiccup, "I'm afraid you'll leave me," because Baekhyun is selfish, insecure and moody, because he's keeping someone like Chanyeol next to him and he's afraid of the time when the man will realise he's not worth all of the struggle, move to his new conquest.

Baekhyun feels just like a stray dog who's been shown kindness, now Chanyeol and his kindness is all he knows. "Please don't leave me," Baekhyun is talking nonsense, he's whimpering it out, wounded, while Chanyeol can't do anything but hold him through it.

"What are you saying..." Chanyeol clicks his tongue, raises Baekhyun up to get a better look at him, "why would you even think of this?"

Baekhyun shakes his head, "You will, I know you will."

"I won't, Baekhyun, I'm here, shhh, I'm here," how Baekhyun manages to get through a conversation with fresh tears like they're not even there, he doesn't know, "Don't lie to me, why would you-" weak fists brush the front of Chanyeol's shirt, "every time time you are being nice to me, or help me, it feels like you're playing jokes on me," Baekhyun sounds so small, "I don't deserve it, I know I dont."

Runny nose, stubborn, sad eyes, Baekhyun is beautiful any time in Chanyeol's opinion, "and you will know it too, soon, Chanyeol, I know it," Baekhyun is beautiful, but so wrong, Chanyeol wants to shake him out of every bad thought crossing his mind, "No, Baekhyun, that's just you, it's all in your mind, you're sabotaging yourself like this,"

He has their foreheads pressed tightly, eyes not letting go of the ones in front of him until they consider his point.

Baekhyun keeps shaking his head, Chanyeol knows he won't be convinced that easily, "How about we get you to bed?" The smaller's grip on his neck gets stronger, "b-but don't leave me," Chanyeol's heart aches. This scared boy reminds him of the one he once knew. He does a look over, his shirt is a mess, ruined my Baekhyun's tears and nose, from his gripping too. He sighs, "I won't, I'm here," Baekhyun takes his answer. Chanyeol pecks his forehead before he helps Baekhyun out of his sweater.

The smaller complies easily, he's tired and pliant, his body feels heavy on Chanyeol, then comes the buttons of his work shirt. Chanyeol works them open one by one while the waiter is still fighting with his tears, "I'm sorry..."

"No love, there's nothing to be sorry for," he strips Baekhyun of his shirt, pecks his salty lips, to which Baekhyun responds by pulling away, angrily wiping his face, "Don't, I look like a mess," Chanyeol chuckles as he steals a peck again, to prove a point, he signals for Baekhyun to get up with hands on his thighs. The Baekhyun he knows is starting to come back, he sounds resigned, Chanyeol quickly gets him out of his jeans too, thrown on the floor with the rest of his clothes. He stops there, eyes the view so close to him, itching to touch.

But he doesn't, "Go now, it's freezing in here," Baekhyun has uncertainty in his eyes, one leg towards the bathroom, one anchored in front of Chanyeol, "But you'll be here, right?"

Chanyeol has to roll his eyes, his patience has a point, but he does it playfully. He nods, sends Baekhyun to the bathroom with a pat on his butt. Baekhyun glares at him, yes, he's himself again.

Baekhyun takes too long. It's past half an hour when Chanyeol knocks on the door. He only gets a reply at the third knock, a shaky ''yes?''

''Hyun, are you alright?'' A faint hum and a whimper, ''What's going on? I'm coming in,'' Baekhyun's ''no'' is lost on his ears.

The open bathroom door makes way for the sight of a naked Baekhyun, crunched over the sink, water and tears dripping from his face in it, Chanyeol takes him in his arms in a split second, his skin is still wet, ''Baek, what is it again?''

Baekhyun sounds frustrated, ''I don't know! I can't stop, I-'' he rubs his face again, ''Why can't I stop,'' just like that, a fresh trail of tears comes down from his eyes, ''What the fuck is wrong with me?''  
It's pointless to try and wipe his tears, ''Nothing is wrong, Hyun, you just held it in too long,'' ''I don't like it,'' and he doesn't like the whiny voice he uses to say it either, if he had more dignity left, he'll hide himself in shame for everything he's done tonight.

''Just...don't think about it, the more you do the more you'd want to cry,'' Chanyeol eyes one towel hanging from the door, he brings it to Baekhyun, ''Here, dry yourself,''

''I'm s-so sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with this,'' he says as he wraps the soft material around him, lowers his head, ''Stop apologizing, it's okay,'' Chanyeol collects with the palm of his hand what seems to be the last of Baekhyun's tears, ''can I take a shower?''

Baekhyun nods, ''Go lay down and wait for me? I'll be quick, promise,'' he's starting to undress as they speak. Baekhyun's eyes widen in panic again, ''No! Don't leave me alone, please,'' Chanyeol's eyes soften, he wants to take the smaller in his arms again, as he watches him sit on the closed toilet seat, and he's being watched too, bloodshot, curious eyes stay on him while he puts away the last piece of clothing, until he turns around and draws the shower curtain.  
Silence doesn't stay long between them, Chanyeol begins to sing a softer version of Hotel California, and Baekhyun finds his body swaying to it, his cheeks now dry, he closes his eyes to the calmness of Chanyeol's voice.

Baekhyun clings to him the whole night, or what's left of it, bare skin to bare skin, it's almost as he's trying to crawl inside Chanyeol and never let go.

But Chanyeol wakes up alone. /Is/ woken up by claws scratching at his toes. He is confused for a second, when he opens his eyes, but in the back of the couch, in the corner Baekhyun has his stove in, he hears shuffling, and humming, Chanyeol grins when he recognises the song he sang last night. Sleep is forgotten, being next to Baekhyun sounds better to him now, "Morning," Chanyeol murmurs where he reaches him, eyes on his phone, typing a reply to texts he forgot about last night, "It's still so early, did you get any sleep?" Baekhyun looks a little startled when he turns around,

"Hi,"Chanyeol studies his face closely, his eyes look so puffy, and his lips are swollen, he looks 10 years older, "I had to wake up in half an hour anyway, didn't feel like going back to sleep," Baekhyun turns back to turn the stove off, "you should have slept more though,"

Chanyeol groans, "Your cat didn't think so," Baekhyun smiles, takes out 2 cups, "Do you want coffee?"

"Please," They're back on the couch, nothing else to do beside looking at each other, Chanyeol's eye bags could rival his, "I'm sorry for keeping you up last night,"

Chanyeol shakes his head, "Don't worry about it," But Baekhyun still worries, he shuffles closer to the man, until he remains glued to his side.

"Thank you," he murmurs, then blows on his cup, arm tangled with one of Chanyeol's. The taller kisses his head, unlocks his phone again, then they both look at the apps Chanyeol is scrolling through. Baekhyun thinks about his abandoned social media accounts, how he left everyone out of the blue. He doesn't remember his life then, or that it actually happened and it wasn't just a doing of his imagination. A new text from Sehun brings irritation to Baekhyun. Just the name is enough to ruin his mood. Chanyeol replies with a "just go to sleep, Toben is there,". Sehun is at his place, it makes Baekhyun wonder, "What's your relationship with him?" He asks, trying to summon nonchalance.

"Hmm," Chanyeol takes a sip of his coffee, grins down at him, "Why? Are you jealous?"

"I'm not," Chanyeol clears his throat, kisses his temple before he speaks, and Baekhyun gets closer at the attention, "He's very dear to me," Baekhyun tries to keep his expression from faltering, does Chanyeol do this with everyone? "He's like a little brother to me," Chanyeol adds, the smaller catches the smirk he's trying to hide, "and me, Jongdae and a few more friends are the only family he has," it doesn't matter, Baekhyun still can't bring himself to like the boy, "I know you two started off on bad terms," Baekhyun adds quickly, offended, "I didn't do anything to him," Chanyeol pets his hair fondly, "I know love," the nickname now, in the daylight, settles heavy on Baekhyun. Last night feels like their little secret.

"But he's a good kid. He has a hard time controling his emotions, but he just wants what's good for his family."

Baekhyun laughs shortly, sardonically, "Yeah such a good kid with you maybe, he had a knife pointed at me." Chanyeol sighs, "I'm still sorry for that."

Baekhyun doesn't add anything else. He remembers how Chanyeol fought Sehun because of that incident, his little brother. Instead of words, as a sign of gratitude, he kisses the arm is head is resting on.

He started this, and now Baekhyun doesn't know how to stop. He feels pathetic, but the man he's clinging so hard to hasn't said any discouraging word so far. Baekhyun is afraid of the moment they step outside again, out of the little world they created, into real one that will put Baekhyun back in his place, it's inevitable.

He sighs, gulps his coffee in one go, then gets up, leaving the warmth Chanyeol's big body provided. The day must start, he's pushed it back too long already. Chanyeol drops him off, they have a shameless make out session in the parking lot. The taller starts it, Baekhyun won't let it reach its end.

Then it's like last night never happened, when he puts his apron on and starts chopping vegetables in the kitchen, it feel just like a good dream, even though his lips are still tingling.  
The day is hectic, hours are lost between serving, doing the dishes, cooking, doing it over again, until it becomes a blur, Baekhyun remembers he took one minute off to go to the bathroom, so why is he laying down on the dirty bathroom floor, a boy above him shaking him even after he opened his eyes, he doesn't know. It's really a blur for him, it feels like he's been out of it for an eternity.

The boy above him is new, a kid no older than 19, he looks scared out of his mind, especially when Baekhyun clears his throat, "What happened?" he croaks out, there's a metallic taste in his mouth, blood, his stomach does a flip unexpectedly, "Y-you- I found you like this,"

"You were gone for too long and the boss sent me to check on you," Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, his vision is still weak, memory weaker, he tries to get up but the panicked boy jumps, "Wait! You're bleeding!" Is he? He is, his temple is warm from fresh blood, Baekhyun has a vague image of him loosing his balance and his face meeting the cold toilet. He was throwing up before that. " 'm fine," Baekhyun grunts, "what time is it?"

The boy checks his watch, "One hour left before closing," he helps Baekhyun up, to which the blonde grimaces, "you can go early, I'll tell boss,"

"No!" Baekhyun latches on his arm, "no, don't tell him, I'll be out in a second, just go, thank you," he pats his back, and a boy leaves with a promise.

What a liar, his boss comes in barely 2 minutes after when he's clearing the blood from his mouth. If it's easy to convince him he's alright, it gets harder at the sight of the dirty, bloodied white shirt. Baekhyun is sent home like a scolded child.

But he doesn't go home, Chanyeol's flat is just about 3 streets from here, and he goes there with the taller in mind. He doesn't get far, all the stairs he has to climb prove to be a challenge for him right now, Baekhyun only gets the first floor right before his vision blurs again. He takes a seat on the stairs, head in his hands, cursing himself for being this weak and pathetic.  
The initial plan was to rest a little, but he tells himself he'll stay one more minute too many times. He doesnt know how much time passes, but Chanyeol finds him eventually, in the same spot. Chanyeol is going down the stairs, and he approaches the back turned to him cautiously.

"Hyun?" Baekhyun jumps, he's taken out of his haze, turns to the voice, he gives a small smile, "Hi,"

"What are you doing here? Have you been waiting for long?"

"I..." Baekhyun forces a chuckle, "I just got here, I wanted to visit but forgot your apartment number,"

"Oh- I- have to do something first, but how about you wait for me upstairs and I'll try to be quick?" Chanyeol beams, he really does, but then he frowns too, "what happened to your uniform?"

"Ah, nothing, I fell in the kitchen because the floor was wet and I scratched myself a little, it's nothing," Chanyeol nods, but doesn't seem convinced, Baekhyun continues to lie with a smile on his face, "Where are you going? Can I come?"

Chanyeol grimaces, "Dongjun is there too."

Baekhyun's face hardens at the name mentioned, "Wasn't he supposed to have the night off?" And come visit him, the smaller doesn't add, "He was, but I need him on the field," Chanyeol smirks, "get up from there, it's cold, I'll take you to the door."

Baekhyun is quick to shake his head, "I can't, my cat hates me enough already, I have to go spend some time with him, why don't you come over when you're done?" Something is suspicious, Baekhyun never talks this much. When the smaller tries to stand up and he blinks for two seconds, unfocused, his suspicions are confirmed. Especially when he uses the railing wherenit's not the case. "Baekhyun," he tries again, his voice firmer, he's dealing with the stubbornness of a child after all, "did something happen?"

Baekhyun snorts, "What are you talking about? Come on old man, stop worrying and take me home," he clings to giant, locks both his hands on his arm. His legs are jelly from standing too much, not even the arm helps him keep his body straight, "Hyun, why aren't you telling me the truth?" Baekhyun shakes his head, no more instant lies rushing to his help, "I'm tired...my feet are hurting, that's all," he settles for, Chanyeol sighs, "Sleep over, my bed is bigger, it'll help," he raises the boy's head to him, "I will get Brown Paw when I come back, I promise," "Chanyeol, no-" "I wasnt asking." Chanyeol rolls his eyes, takes the first step back up, "I know you're not telling me everything, Baek,"

"Just shut up..." Baekhyun murmurs as he's pulled up on the stairs with the taller, until he clicks his tongue and picks him up.

It's hard to do it while climbing stairs, Baekhyun watches bellow them as they go higher and higher. Chanyeol could lose his balance any minute, and they'll only go down from there. Baekhyun is thinking.

He's left inside with Toben, he can't wait for the door to finally close so he can hold into the closest thing to him, a chair, as a new wave of stomach ace hits. He's had them for a while, but lately no amount of painkillers can slow the pain down. Baekhyun prays he would be able to go on a few months more. He can't rest once his body hits the soft sheets, it feels like he's waisting time off. So Baekhyun does what he knows best. When he openes the underwear drawer to take something for a shower, it's all a mess. The whole closet is like this. Baekhyun takes care of it.  
Then of the bathroom, then of the living room which, he decides needs cleaning too. It's the least he can do for Chanyeol, who's doing so much for him.

The taller finds him like this, sleeping on the floor of his living room with a rag in his hand and the cleaning solution as his pillow.

And he looks so peaceful, in the worst place he could sleep, Chanyeol almost feels bad for going to shake him awake. He does it gently, caresses the worn out but beautiful face, with no result. No result in his other attempts either. Chanyeol is scared.

This is how Baekhyun wakes up on a hospital bed. His head is ringing, the confusion he goes through is big. Chanyeol is next to his bed on his phone, typing angrily, he looks mad.  
Baekhyun gets out his name through his aching throat.

"You're awake," Chanyeol's furrowed brow settles down.

"What are we doing here? What time is it?"

Chanyeol's smile can't mean anything but trouble, "Oh, I brought you here, I also found out some interesting things while you were resting,"

Baekhyun's heart wants to escape, "Chanyeol-"

"Did you know about your stomach ulcer? Because I just found out," The smaller has his head bowed in shame, Chanyeol lets out a dry chuckle, "I also found out you're a smoker, you never told me."

"I don't smoke that often anymore, I-" Chanyeol's ironic grin is mocking, "The best part, you treat yourself with cigarettes, alcohol and high doses of ibuprofen, it's a combo, really."

Baekhyun doesn't add anything else, grips the sheet he's seated on, "And you weren't planning on telling me," this chuckle is a dry one, Chanyeol gets up, "the nurse said we can leave after you wake up, come on."

Chanyeol looks and sounds disappointed, guilt is eating Baekhyun alive but he follows after him, watches as the taller says goodbye to everyone on the way, /everyone/, smiling, then turns to him with the cold eyes he's not used to.

They pass by a familiar room, but it's night, and even if he could sneak in Baekhyun doesn't have the heart to see the state his father is in, they go straight to the car without much words exchanged between them.

On the road, Baekhyun clings to him by instinct, wraps around the arm not on the steering wheel, he's not pushed away, but his touch isn't reciprocated by a warm one either. He feels like crying out of frustration, but he won't voice it, if Chanyeol won't talk he won't either. If he does try to talk, not a single nice thing will come out of his mouth. They go back to Chanyeol's apartment, it's almost 3 in the morning when the taller closes the door behind them, throws the keys on the counter followed by his backpack.

He takes a brown bag out of it, Baekhyun recognises it instantly, "What's this?" He follows after the man to the living room, where he places the bag on the table, "Your prescribed meds," Chanyeol says flatly, before he begins undressing, "Why?"

Chanyeol has a lot of patience, he just breaths out, throws his shirt on the couch, "Look, Baekhyun, you need a parent to scold you? I'll do it, I'll play that part, I'll talk some sense into you if that's what it takes," Baekhyun's jaw clenches.

"I got your boss number and took a day off for you tomorrow, by the way," Chanyeol won't even spare him a glance, he jumps at the mention of his boss, "What the fuck did you do? Chanyeol!"  
Chanyeol raises his eyebrows, challenging, Baekhyun is barely keeping his tight balled fists from shaking, "You have no right to do this, who the fuck do you think you are?"

The man is too calm, but his protruding neck is giving him away. Baekhyun is at disadvantage here, standing in front of a much bigger man, an intimidating one, with all his tattoos on display and posture held high, while he can barely hold his straight. But he knows Chanyeol won't hurt him, that's why he goes on, "I don't need your help, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol snorts, "Yet you're here. I didn't force you, Baekhyun, you came here on your own, you wanted this too."

When did Baekhyun take the last steps to close the space between them? "I just wanted you! Not you trying to control my life!"

Chanyeol folds his arms, finally looks him in the eye, "I'm doing what?" It seems like Baekhyun's words have no effect on him, he brushes them off with a sardonic chuckle, "I know what you wanted," Baekhyun wishes he'd looked away instead at the next words, "you don't want me Baekhyun, you just want me to make you feel better until you're done," Baekhyun parts his lips, "don't even try to deny it," He won't, he can't lie about this.

Instead, he tries to reason, why is he trying so hard though? Why does the look Chanyeol is giving him hurt more than any touch Dongjun's ever given him? "My father is going to die in a few months, I know it," he clears his throat, not liking the whimpering tone his voice gained "I have nothing left to live for after that," he can see Chanyeol's gaze harden, "I know, it sounds dramatic, but it's the truth, I don't see myself here anymore," "You're only 24 for fucks sake!" Chanyeol takes a hold of the shaking hands that somehow ended up resting on his chest, squeezes fragile fingers, "But I feel 90," Baekhyun sounds too resigned, Chanyeol rests his lips above the knuckles of one hand of his, "You won't be able to get rid of me that easily, Hyun, I won't give up."

Baekhyun shakes his head repeatedly, he's stuck on it, won't accept anything that easily, "Why would you- I'll never be able to forget what Dongjun did to me," he tries to free his hand from Chanyeol's hold, what he's admitting to makes his face burn with shame, "I close my eyes and I see him, feel him. He's with me even when he's not," and his body holds traces of their meeting until it's time for it again, Baekhyun hates looking at himself, "Why would you want something like this? Me? I wouldn't want to touch myself if I were you!"

Chanyeol feels like crying at Baekhyun's sincerity, he looks truly confused, searching his eyes for clarification. He takes the slim figure in his arms before opening his mouth, "You child..." his hands are swaying him from side to side, to stop the trembling against him, "What happened to you doesn't make who you are as a person, Hyun, it's not your fault, and you will overcome it, I know it. You're stronger than anyone I'd ever met."

Of course, of course Baekhyun chooses to contradict him, "It's my fault, I did this!"

"What are you talking about? How is this your fault?" Baekhyun's voice drops in volume, he's too ashamed of himself, Chanyeol takes both on them on the couch, the smaller in his lap as he continues to caress every part of Baekhyun he can reach.

"He is my father's colleague, we met at the hospital and he left me his number in case I needed help with anything because he was close with my dad," Chanyeol takes the time to remind the smaller to breathe, in his arms he's choking on his words, "I saw the way he looked at me, and I still went to him that night looking for comfort,"

"So is it your fault the person you choose to sleep with is a psycho?" He doesn't intend to sound so harsh, his rage is directed at the cop, Baekhyun won't believe his words anyway, he tries another way.

"You know, I felt so guilty too," he begins, and Baekhyun raises his head to shoot him a confused look, "at first, when I saw you after that night I thought you didn't want anything to do with me anymore,"  
He whispers against Baekhyun's hair, as the boy is holding tight to him, "then at your house it seemed like you hated me," he sighs, "but then, back at the restaurant, you didn't recognize me, you didn't remember anything,'' Baekhyun waits with his breath held, "and I felt bad, I felt so bad because maybe if I kept you a little longer, if you spent the night over back then, none of this would've happened,"

Another complaint is ready to leave Baekhyun's mouth, he shuts him up with a peck, ''But I realized some things we just can't prevent, it's not my fault, it isn't yours either, Hyun,"

Baekhyun is trying to crawl inside him again, no matter how tight Chanyeol's hold gets on him, he's still searching for more, "please don't be mad at me,"

"I'm not, love,"

"You are," Baekhyun mumbles against his neck, "I wasn't mad, I was disappointed," the body he's holding gets stiff, "not at you, at the situation,"

"What do you mean?" "I'm... trying to get approval to get rid of Dongjun, but it's hard to kill a cop and find a good excuse for it,"

Baekhyun's breath hitches at the "kill" mention, "I've been taking on so many tasks to get noticed by my boss, so he'll help me," his hands travel on the boy's back, play with the soft skin, "I'm trying really hard, and when I realized you've already given up on yourself, it...’’

He doesn't go on, but Baekhyun gets the message, he can't do anything else but sigh, "Please don't get yourself in trouble for me."

Baekhyun is a child, in everything he does, a child that's been forced to grow up. Chanyeol traces lines filled with love with his fingertips, on his skin, "promise me you'll take your meds,"  
Baekhyun hums into his skin, Chanyeol's free hand searches for his chin, raises his eyes to him, "Baekhyun..."

"I will," Chanyeol kisses his forehead, his sticky hair, his rosy cheeks, his moist lips, "I'm going back to get Mr. Brown Paw, get ready for bed, okay?" Baekhyun nods.

He spends too much time in the shower, scrubs every part of his body thrice, gets lost under the hot water until his skin reminds him he should get out, he does, smelling like Chanyeol. He doesn't want to look in the mirror, avoids his reflection at all cost so the confidence he's built won't crumble down at the sight. He steps out of the bathroom only in his underwear, and the picture ahead of him makes him chuckle. Chanyeol is spread out on the bed, naked, on his front with his cat and Toben on each side of his head. He's scolding them, his fingers pointed especially at the ever so excited dog, while his cat doesn't look pleased to be in the room at all.

He tiptoes to the bed, Toben notices him but Chanyeol is too occupied with his cat now, as Baekhyun attaches himself to the inviting looking back, makes sure to position his crotch at level with Chanyeol's spread buttocks, "Hi,"

He catches the man off guard, his hand flies in the covers while his head turns the slightest to Baekhyun, "Oh, hello, is there any hot water left for me?" He teases, but his voice is slowly dropping as Baekhyun bends down to leave a kiss on his nape, then Baekhyun's lips create a path across his back, until he doesn't expect an answer anymore, he just raises his hips, tries to create some friction,  
Baekhyun is tracing the shell of his ear with the tip of his tongue when they have to stop. Brown Paw decides to sit on Chanyeol's stretched out arms, he is followed by Toben who's not as peaceful about it.  
Chanyeol groans. He places the cat back on the bed, turns around under Baekhyun, "I'm going to take a shower first,"

Baekhyun tricks the pets out of the room and shuts the door behind him, so when the man comes back it's only him waiting on bed. He's seen Chanyeol naked before, but he never had the time to shamelessly roam his eyes on all of his body length.

He does it now, takes him in starting from head, to toe. Chanyeol is really breathtaking. He's stealing Baekhyun's breath with every step he takes towards the bed, confidently, his eyes waiting for Baekhyun's ones to meet all the intensity his gaze is holding, for him, time stops when he's two steps away from the comfort of Baekhyun's arms, they both have a silent agreement before Baekhyun throws himself at him, hungrily, desperate. Chanyeol has to still him when the gasps in his mouth are getting in the way of their kiss. Baekhyun looks so so vulnerable, the taller pulls back to trace the lines of his face, drag this moment on as much as he can. He is not the one to rush, but Baekhyun always feels like a ticking bomb. Chanyeol has to be careful of every touch he gives, "Hyun, are you sure?" He looks like it, spread out under him, hands clinging to Chanyeol's back like he could disappear in any second if he lets go. He nods, his mouth already searching for the skin of his neck he hasn't tasted yet.

"How do you want to do it?" Baekhyun is busy with exploring Chanyeol's chest now, his mouth is hungry, the man's skin is eager too, goosebumps appear in every place Baekhyun marks as his own, proudness blooms in the smaller's chest. Chanyeol's question is ignored as he finally gets to the thing that's been haunting his mind. Chanyeol's piercing. He gives a satisfactory grin up, to the hooded eyes watching him closely as his fingers get to work first, testing limits. Chanyeol flinches at the cold touch on his burning skin, flinches even harder when his nipples are twisted enough to awaken both of them. Baekhyun is a little devil, he's enjoying every gasp he pulls out from him, Chanyeol can see him strained against his underwear, but he's not the one to judge, his cock is in the air, twitching, begging for attention.

Baekhyun only keeps his attention on his nipples, gives an unsure lick at first, checks his reaction immediately after. Chanyeol has flushed cheeks, and soft whimpers tumbling out of his mouth as the sucking on his piercing gets him writhing, he can barely keep himself up,not collapse on the smaller boy beneath him. It's not a problem anymore when Baekhyun rolls them over, rushed lips return to the pair fitting them perfectly, one waiting for them, "I want you to do me,"

It comes a little bit too late, Chanyeol is confused and distracted, but the ass pressing down on his painful erection gives him an idea of what Baekhyun wants. Chanyeol cages his cheeks into his palms, engages their tongues in a new, slower dance as he thrusts up to meet the impatient hips of Baekhyun's. "Are you sure?" He whispers against his lips, proceeds to worship every part of the beautiful face in front of him,

"Chanyeol," he puts some distance between their faces to look into his eyes, he's so sure of this, "I'm not glass, I'm not gonna break, stop worrying so much," His thump is tickling the soft skin of Baekhyun's lip,

"But you fainted just 3 hours ago, Hyun," Baekhyun is determined. He grabs the man's big hands and guides them along his body, until they get to rest on his ass, "please, just touch me," he almost purrs out, desperate, he'll cry out for Chanyeol if that's what it takes to get the love he's craving for out of him. And that's how Chanyeol's resolve breaks, with a guttural grunt that stirs up Baekhyun insides, he takes a hold of the milky ass offered to him then his hands move by instinct, instinct that he's buried until now, bottled it up in Baekhyun's presence until it hurt.

It's all coming out now, Chanyeol is finally doing what his mind has been begging for months, he's fondling the soft flesh as Baekhyun humps his tight. A kiss is too much to ask for in this moment, when Baekhyun has his pink tongue stuck out, too lost in searching for his release to put in any movement. Chanyeol pecks his tongue then descends, his fingers create a path over his entrance, up, to teasing his rim, then down until he feels the bump of his balls, then back again. Baekhyun is a trembling mess when his middle finger finds its way back to his eager hole, only to circle it, put the smallest amount of pressure on the rim, without breaking in.

"Chanyeol, please," he takes a hold of the taller's hair, his fingers massage on his scalp to keep his hands distracted, because if not they'll be flying everywhere. Baekhyun is burning. "You're so impatient, love," he chuckles against his nipple, breathes hot air on it before his tongue comes out to taste it. Baekhyun's hold gets tighter, teeth are gently scraping on his already sensitive bud, "want you..." he pushes Chanyeol's face against his chest harder. "I want you too, so much," it's torture, Chanyeol continues his ministrations to his other nipple too, until both of them are erect and painful, every whisper against them is hurting him, his stomach won't stop dropping. "I've wanted you for so long, Hyun," he's soft worded, it's their secret, Baekhyun feels like crying.

Chanyeol raises up on the bed, takes Baekhyun with him, on his lap, greedy and needy. His underwear comes off when it starts getting into Chanyeol's way. Baekhyun is so wet, it's embarrassing, but he's been so deprived of arousal, he can't hold back now that he gets to taste it again. He takes a hold of both their cocks, now that they're on the same level, Chanyeol is not far behind him. When they come back to him, Chanyeol lips are dry and cold, from all the mapping he's done on his skin, Baekhyun warms them up again gladly.

''I want you to turn around for a bit, okay? It'll be easier," Can Baekhyun get more aroused than this? It seems so, everything the man does is making his dick twitch, especially the words instructed in his low voice. He nods, he is too gone, he'll take anything Chanyeol will give him gladly. Their mouths are separated again, the smaller already feels longing. Chanyeol's hands are everywhere, he turns him around, guides him on his front, ass in the air. Baekhyun's cheeks are burning. One of the giant's hands leaves his backside to open the drawer next to the bed, the other keeps massaging his balls, Baekhyun cries out his name again Chanyeol takes the time to admire, breathing doesn't seem to come naturally when Baekhyun is spread in front of him like this,

"Stretch your back a little bit more love, push back on me," Baekhyun does, pushes his ass up in the air, face hidden in the sheets in shame, Chanyeol breath hitches, the sound he makes in his throat is almost feral, "Yes, like this," Baekhyun's slim waist is playing with his sanity, the contrast between his curvy hips and it, Chanyeol can't help but bend down and kiss one of his cheeks. And once he starts there's no going back, Baekhyun's perky ass deserves all the kisses in the world, and Chanyeol is very generous.  
Obscene sucking sounds echo between the four walls, but they can't rival the whimpers leaving Baekhyun's mouth, escaping through the material of Chanyeol's sheets he keeps squirming in.

Chanyeol begins sucking on his rim, once, twice, then moves his tongue down his taint, and the boy is done for, he can't keep his cries in, tears of frustration fill his eyes, "M-more, please Chanyeol," The man complies, his tongue breaks in past the tight ring of muscle, and Baekhyun would've been really embarrassed if he wasn't so desperate. He's not now, when he pushes back on Chanyeol's tongue,  
Chanyeol sneaks his hand to his front, takes him in his hand and that's his undoing, it only takes a few pumps before Baekhyun comes hard all over the man's hand, his covers too. A hand on his back stills him because he's shaking too much, he's pushed down on the bed, Chanyeol on top of him crawling with his flaming lips all over his back, until he reaches his ear. He nips on it, "I could taste you all night, love,"

The shivers won't let Baekhyun calm down, not with how Chanyeol's voice is lowered to just a scratch against is ear. The man doesn't have all of his weight on him, it allows Baekhyun to turn on his side. He's meet with an overwhelming expression of desire, he knows he wears one too.

"Don't stop..." he whispers, Chanyeol is drinking in the sight of him. With tears still fresh on his cheeks, his nose red, his eyes all black, his chest is about to explode with adoration, while his lower abdomen is about to explode from all the negligence his member went through.  
He takes care of his oldest problem first. His hand strays away from where it was resting on Baekhyun's bottom, searching, comes back with what's he searched for.

"Spread yourself for me?" He pecks Baekhyun's lips before the smaller is flat on his stomach again, eager to do what he's told, Chanyeol remains close to his ear, to torture him more, as his finger circles his entrance once, before he pushes his tip in,

"You're so beautiful Hyun," Baekhyun whimpers as a response, he's sucking the finger in, Chanyeol is trapped.

Chanyeol is set on ending Baekhyun tonight, the smaller is sure, there is no other explanation for how he presses inside of him. The man doesn't move his finger, just puts pressure on the tip inside, giving fast pushes straight to his sensitive spot, Baekhyun hasn't even recovered from his orgasm and he cries out again, he jumps, like he's been burned, "Chanyeol, Chanyeol, please!"  
Chanyeol chuckles, he's rubbing his cock on him, ''Please what, love?'' He's about to lose his voice from all the whining he's done, Chanyeol isn't even close to stopping, ''Stop t-teasing, I can't take it anymore, please,'' he turns his head to gaze into Chanyeol's eyes, on the verge of crying. Chanyeol traps his lips between his as a reply, his finger starts making way for what's to come, ''The sounds you make, Hyun...'' is thrown between rushed kisses, it rips another whine out of Baekhyun, Chanyeol adds another finger, starts taking them out then back in again carefully, ''they're the sweetest,'' Baekhyun starts moving on his own, sucking in the thick fingers greedily, ''I want to hear them forever, love,''

''Want you now, Yeol...'' he sounds miserable, Chanyeol decides to end his suffering with his next words, ''Ride me, set the pace,'' Baekhyun nods, follows Chanyeol up until he has his back resting on the headboard. The man takes a hold of his hips, guides him in his place above him, Baekhyun is more than eager.

Chanyeol's lips on his remind him to slow down again, ''I can't believe I have you here like this,'' the taller is very communicative in bed, Baekhyun adores him even more for it. He's invaded his senses, everything of his is full only of Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, it's frustrating how he can't put into words how much intensity the giant is awakening in him, he can only cry out, hyperaware of every touch Chanyeol is giving, as he guides the man's member into him and eases into him slowly, Chanyeol grunts, his hands fly to hold on to his hips, the closest thing to them, to keep himself from twitching at the tightness engulfing him, ''Fuck, love, you have no idea how good you feel,'' Baekhyun nods with his lip between his teeth, the only thing keeping him from exploding into another string of cries, he's filled to the brim, still wants Chanyeol closer. They stare into each other eyes, the man is caressing every patch of skin he can get his hands on, Baekhyun has tears collected, ready to burst out once again, he's overwhelmed, but the ever so understanding Chanyeol doesn't rush him, even if he looks pained by it, he waits until Baekhyun decides to move on his own.

He does when he lets out the breath he's been holding in. Baekhyun moves back and forth, tests the feeling of Chanyeol deep inside him in all angles. One of them hits his prostate, he throws his head back immediately, repeating the movement with more confidence now, Chanyeol catches it fast, he smirks, "You like it there?"

"Y-yes," He gives a thrust too, to the same spot, more powerful than what Baekhyun previously tried, the smaller yelps, it turns into a drawn-out moan at the next thrusts, "Yes, Chanyeol, more," he has his hands on the man's chest, his back arched, as nonsense spills between his wanton moans, "O-oh, faster, Yeol, please!" His lovely Chanyeol is tending to every request, gladly, he raises his hips more to maneuver Baekhyun however he wants, guides the petite boy to lay on top on him so he can take the lead from here, Baekhyun doesn't need to be told twice, he collapses on top of him, their foreheads are pressed together, Chanyeol catches every cry of pleasure as a memory to treasure, "C-chanyeol..." The man uses long, powerful thrusts, Baekhyun can feel every inch of him, "Yes love, I'm here,"

"I want to come, please,"

"Let's do it together, touch yourself, baby," How can he sound so tender when he's doing such sinful things to him, Baekhyun has no idea. He reaches between them, as Chanyeol speeds up the pace, his skin is meeting Baekhyun's reddening one in fast waves, until he starts grunting under his breath. Baekhyun doesn't bother to close his mouth anymore, he chokes on his moans until they turn into pained cries. Pained from too much stimulation.

Chanyeol is searching for his prostate again, it doesn't take long to find it, he attacks it unmercifully from there, his second orgasm hits Baekhyun harder, "Oh my- C-cha-" he isn't coherent anymore, the sounds he's making turn into ones a wounded puppy would make, he's clenching so hard on Chanyeol, trying to stop himself that he ends up milking the man dry. Baekhyun is a shaking mess in the end. He calms down gradually, the thumping in his ears slows down enough to hear Chanyeol's sweet endearments. They don't stop flowing, the giant is showering him in "loves", accompanied by "sweethearts", alongside "pretty baby". Baekhyun listens to the steady rhythm of his heart, swallows every word that makes his core feel mellow and fulfilled, Chanyeol has yet to pull out of him, but they're too caught up in the moment for anything else.

"Hyuuuun, don't fall asleep," Chanyeol ruffles his sweaty hair, "we have to clean up," Baekhyun whines, ready to complain but too spent for it, "Do you want me to clean you up?" Baekhyun nods, his eyes closed already. Chanyeol chuckles, separates them, the boy reacts with a flinch, but the warm liquid dripping down his thighs makes him giggle when he's reminded of what happened between them just minutes ago. He grabs on to Chanyeol again when the taller had just managed to raise himself up from the bed, "Don't leave me,"

Chanyeol pinches his cheeks, "Whose baby are you, hm?" his hands are slapped away, "just go already," he grumbles, and the man kisses his nose before he leaves for the bathroom

He comes out with wet wipes, Baekhyun cooperates enough to roll the soiled sheets from under him, then he spreads out on the bed with no further intention to move. Chanyeol is reminded that he has to deal with a baby, he slaps his butt until the sleepy boy turns on his front again. It gives Chanyeol a view to the mess they've made. Baekhyun has red marks on his otherwise pearly skin, from all the gripping he's done, when he spreads his cheeks apart his hole is still fluttering, the skin is pink and angry. Chanyeol wipes it clean, then bows to kiss Baekhyun one more time, "Stop, it's gross," the smaller tries to squirm out of his hold, Chanyeol snorts, "Are you really saying this now? Really, love?"

"Just come back to bed already," he's spoiling Baekhyun so much, Chanyeol goes to open the door first. Their pets seem got along faster than their owners did. They're sleeping together in front of the door, like long lost brothers. Toben jumps first and shortly the pets are back in their spot at the end of the bed.

Chanyeol jumps back into the bed, Baekhyun is back in his spot into Chanyeol's arms. He sighs, all the energy leaving his body at once. He's pressed tightly against the bigger body giving him comfort.  
"Hyun?" Is whispered against his hair after moments of it being caressed by warm hands and soft breaths, "hm?"

"Can I try something?" Instead of his words, Baekhyun uses his kiss to the arm his head is resting on, it urges Chanyeol on.

He reaches down between them, pumps himself back to life, it's easy with Baekhyun's skin hugging his like this. Baekhyun is confused at first, but he still lets the man burry himself easily back into his heat. The feeling brought back so soon is awakening butterflies all over his lower stomach. But Chanyeol only stays like this. They're closer than ever, there is really no space left between them. Baekhyun loves the feel of it. He falls asleep to Chanyeol's member pulsating faintly into him, Chanyeol's arms cradling him like he's a treasure to him.


	3. Behind the dark clouds

Baekhyun wakes up with Toben by his side, only Toben. He glances around the room and everything is cleaned, picked up, fresh air is coming through the window, and soft notes are slipping from under the door, Chanyeol has his music turned on again. The giant is in the kitchen, the scenery is somehow familiar by now, only this time it's his cat the man is cradling and singing too, spinning around the room while Chanyeol's favorite song from Elvis is playing.

  
Baekhyun chuckles, limps his way to them with Toben held to his chest, ''Hi,'' Chanyeol's head snaps, the way his gaze changes when it finds him makes Baekhyun dizzy, ''Hello, love,'' the man beams, ''you slept well.'' And with him he did too, Chanyeol is proud of how still he's managed to keep the smaller through the night, his jumps and winces only a few and scattered. "Yeah..." Suddenly he's self-conscious, the eyes dancing over his still naked body are doing it, "I was too tired." Chanyeol wants to say something, their long stare feels too intimate, but the puppy jumping from Baekhyun's arms breaks the spell. The man laughs, "I'm making breakfast,"

Baekhyun grimaces, "I'm going to take a shower, I'm all gross."

  
But in the shower, things take a detour from Baekhyhun's original plan, it's with shame he realizes he wants Chanyeol again. And he's confused about it. Apart from the first night with Dongjun, his attraction towards men has been inexistent, from then attraction in general, sex just disgusted him, so why is he hard just by thinking of Chanyeol's body? He feels like he's doing something forbidden.

  
He's calmed down when he sets foot in the kitchen again, Chanyeol is waiting at the table, his eyes are crinkling, ''Where did you even find this shirt?''

Baehyun looks down, ''Why? I like it,''

''Yeah, I just thought I threw it away,'' he gestures with his hand, ''come sit.''

''I cleaned a little yesterday,'' he says sheepishly as he moves the chair closer to Chanyeol, until their legs are touching, ''What the fuck is this?'' his scowl appears at the brown cup in front of him, "A little," Chanyeol repeats satirically, "you cleaned the whole place when you should've been resting," he tsks, then bursts into a small laugh at Baekhyun's expression, "tea...?"

"Oh really? I didn't know," the smaller deadpans, "and why is it in my cup? I don't like tea,"

"Because the doctor said coffee is not good for your stomach right now,"

"But-"

"So we'll drink tea," Chanyeol quickly adds, reaches out for his own cup, "but you eat first."

He finishes with a grin, commercial-worthy, he's really advertising green tea and Baekhyun can't do anything but glare some more, "How can you like this thing?"

"I don't,"

"Then why are you holding that piss cup?" "Because I'm not gonna drink coffee in front of you," he rolls his eyes, "hurry up and eat, the eggs are gonna get cold," Baekhyun doesn't complain further, but keeps his frown on, Chanyeol has the same healthy food his plate has, and something tells him the man really means it, he sighs, winces at the sudden movement he makes to reach the fork. It doesn't go unnoticed by Chanyeol, "Hyun?" He smiles as a response, a little turn of his lips, doesn't say anything else.

Music dances in the air above them where silence should be as Baekhyun forces small bites down his throat only for Chanyeol's hopeful eyes, his cheeks are tired from all the chewing. Chanyeol is surprised when his lap gets full, of Baekhyun, who sits down then grabs his plate without a word like nothing changed. He's gotten more clingy and have it been anyone else, in any other circumstance, Chanyeol would've been irritated by it, but he just holds the light body without a question now, enjoying every second he's being trusted like this. Baekhyun doesn't express himself with words, that's a rare occurrence, but he makes up for it with his actions.

Like does now, when he sinks completely back into Chanyeol, done with his plate, holding the hated cup of tea. Chanyeol chuckles fondly, "And how should I eat like this?"

  
Baekhyun sticks his legs out on one side, makes room for Chanyeol to move freely, then buries his face in the man's chest. But Chanyeol can't eat much when he's shivering against him like this, "Hyun, what is it?" He looks down and the arms holding him have goosebumps all over, Chanyeol is worried, "Baekhyun?"

"Ah...it's nothing, really," he doesn't raise his head, "my stomach just hurts a little," Baekhyun is so stubborn, it gets tiring, "I don't get goosebumps when my stomach hurts a little, love," his fingers raise the boy's head, "It just...burns a little,"

"You're such a liar, Hyun,"

Baekhyun sighs, "I'm sorry," he puts the cup down after a few unsuccessful sips, "Please just give me some painkillers," he sounds small, because he knows what comes next, but he still tries. Chanyeol squeezes his waist, "Baekhyun, they're the reason your stomach is hurting in the first place,"

"But I need them!"

"You won't anymore, when you get better," Baekhyun groans, hits the chest in front of him with his fist enough to shake him, "Fuck you, who are you to decide this?"

Chanyeol has learned not to take offense from this, the hit was too weak to actually mean something and Baekhyun's legs are still glued to his own, "Hmmm, let's see," he appears thinking, "right now I think I am your parent," he almost bursts out laughing at the next sentence, but he still tries to keep serious, "How about you call me daddy from now on?"

Baekhyun gives him a disgusted glare, "You know what, I changed my mind, don't touch me." He pushes the hands holding him away, tries to get up but he only ends up being turned around, back in Chanyeol's lap. He's meet with cheerful eyes, only looking at him, "We should start with your meds," he pecks his nose "the pharmacist said you'll feel a little sleepy from it," Baekhyun nods, warm fingers come up to massage his temple, then they stop under his eye, caress there too, "your eye bags are almost gone, you should take days off more,"

If he nods, it'll only be another lie, Baekhyun can't do that. He continues teasingly instead, breath ghosting over Chanyeol's lips, "That's because you helped me sleep well."

Chanyeol turns it back around- "Glad I could help," then he closes the small gap left between their mouths. This his how the dishes are forgotten. Chanyeol doesn't forget about the damned meds, threatens not to touch Baekhyun until he takes them, and when he does they end up back in bed. Chanyeol takes Baekhyun again, slow, passionate like everything the man does, they waste the day away getting to know each other with no rush between them, often stopping to just enjoy the feel of one another. The way Chanyeol gives love is too good to be happening to Baekhyun, he feels the worst, because the man chose to invest his sweet affection in someone like him, someone that'll only disappoint him again, this is all that Baekhyun would do to him.  
  
When Baekhyun wakes up from their nap it's dark outside, he knows he has to go or it'll be harder. Chanyeol is still sleeping, he tiptoes for the first clothes he finds thrown around, his heart is heavy.

"Don't leave," he's halfway through pulling his pants up when he jumps, Chanyeol is watching him through half-closed eyelids, his voice forced out and hoarse.

Baekhyun just keeps getting his clothes on, even as the man is approaching him, "Please stay here with me," Baekhyun shakes his head, ashamed of even looking at the kind man, "I can't, you know I can't.'' Chanyeol takes a hold of his arms, keeps him from backing away, "You can, Hyun, please don't go back," His hands are slapped away, Chanyeol doesn't deserve this, yet he's chasing Baekhyun to take a hold of him again, "Love, please..."

Baekhyun shakes his head, avoids the eyes searching understanding in his so desperately, Chanyeol goes on, he sounds so hurt, "Stay with me, I'll keep you safe, I promise," somehow his hands end up in the taller's again, "You can't..." Chanyeol's mouth is twitching with a response, "Maybe from him, you can, but you can't protect me from what he's capable of doing, to you too if he finds out,"

  
Chanyeol sets his brow in a straight line, arguments ready to slip from his lips, but Baekhyun is faster in demolishing them, "He's a police officer, you're a gang member," The police is always right, Baekhyun has learned the hard way.

"He can do so many things, Yeol, I don't want that for you," he's still in Chanyeol's hold, "not you..."

When he can't do anything like this, Chanyeol is reminded of a speech he gave some time ago. He has said that he is not a powerful man. He isn't, but he wishes he was, in times like this, it's all he wishes for. "I'll get you rid of him, I promise, soon, I will,"

Chanyeol is close to begging on his knees, one foot already bent, Baekhyun doesn't have the heart to see him like this, he takes him in his arms, squeezes the bigger body against his, "No, don't promise me anything, just let me go," 

The man is angry, his hands are clenched by his side, "You can let go so easily, it's like last night meant nothing to you..." He whispers, and the silence prolonged by Baekhyun's turn of his head is enough of an answer for him. It's easy, when you always expect the worst.

Baekhyun is dropped off in the end, Chanyeol looks hurt, and he can't hide it, but still won't let Baekhyun go before he shoves more food in his mouth.

He leaves with a spare key for Chanyeol's apartment, bags full of pills and a little one containing green tea. It's hard to convince the smaller to take the last one. "In case you need to, use the pocketknife I gave you," yes, the knife Chanyeol subtly gifted him, the one with his initials carved on it. Baekhyun seals the deal with a kiss, and leave with a burning heart when it is not returned as enthusiastically as it would usually be. His place looks haunted, cold and lonely, even though is just a one room. Even his cat is missing, he left Brown Paw back at Chanyeol's, because the cat looked happier than it'd looked with Baekhyun in months.

Some things from his table are moved, and a sweater of his is thrown on the couch, indicating that Dongjun's been here. It's barely night but Baekhyun makes himself sleep faster just in case.  
He escapes Dongjun at night, his conscience is still heavy, no place to feel relieved. For work he dresses up extra nicely, picks a pair of jeans tighter than usual, even adds a little eyeshadow next to the eyeliner he usually uses to mask his tired eyes.

For Chanyeol, because the man has called him pretty. It's foolish, but he wants to be pretty to Chanyeol. His efforts aren't noticed by Chanyeol though, because the man doesn't come for breakfast, nor lunch or dinner. The one who he sees instead is Dongjun, in his lunch break, the officer tries to get him alone in the bathroom but Baekhyun stays glued to Minseok. He leaves with a promise for tonight. And he keeps the promise well, when Baekhyun steps inside after midnight, he's waiting for him, to take him in his arms as soon as he can.

"Baby, where have you been?" Dongjun picks him up to hold him better, "They told me you called in sick at the restaurant, but when I came to take care of you you weren't here," he really sounds worried, one wrong word and it'll break. "I was at a friend," Dongjun let's go of him, but keeps a grip on his shoulders to search his eyes, "What friend?"

"You don't know her, she's an old college friend," Baekhyun says lifelessly, like a school lesson he had to learn by heart, Dongjun is suspicious, "You should introduce me to your friend, to see if she's good for my Baekkie," Baekhyun doesn't give any answer, pushes past him when his grip gets weak enough to go change, Dongjun follows after him, but he's silent.

Baekhyun knows he won't stay long like this. He speaks up again, "Baekhyun." The boy is halfway to getting his button-up off when he tenses, he tries to hide it, but Dongjun is behind him in a second , "You won't cheat on me, would you?"

"What?" His mind is already searching for anything Dongjun might have seen or heard, Dongjun turns his around to laugh in his face, "What am I saying, you wouldn't," he shakes his head, and the words coming, he's heard before, "You need me, my baby, I hope you understand this," he had to, after all this time, "I am the only one who'll love you like this, Baekkie, you're poor and stupid, you have no future ahead of you pretty baby," he explains as if to a child, while he cups Baekhyun's cheeks, "do you think someone would want you like this, silly boy?"

  
Baekhyun wants to run from his grip, "All they'll ever want from you is to fuck you, don't you understand Baekhyunee? That's all you're good for to them," he's almost kissing him, "but I love you, I'll love you even like this, you need me!"

"So don't even think about cheating on me, alright?" Baekhyun has his lips pressed tightly when the kiss comes, "now be a good boy and come to bed." Baekhyun misses feeling at home.

Chanyeol doesn't come by the next day as well, he knows he has a spare key for a reason, but his stubbornness won't let him use it. Baekhyun is filled with longing, but he also doesn't want to be touched by the man again, not after Dongjun, he doesn't want to see the expressive eyes of Chanyeol losing their light again. The second night, Dongjun is on his night shift, Chanyeol is nowhere to be seen. Maybe at his apartment, if Baekhyun took the initiative to go there. He misses his cat. The third-night Dongjun is with him, he gives up on trying to stay away from coffee in the morning, takes it then his pills, leaves for work feeling like utter shit.

Then he's alone again, it's been fourth days since Chanyeol told him sweet lies. Dongjun's words come back to him, or did they even leave? Was he a quick fuck to Chanyeol? He can't believe it, can't twist it enough to result into this. In the fifth day he's locking up the restaurant, but he doesn't get to properly turn around before he is grabbed by shaking hands, "Hyun, hi," He's offended just by him standing in front of him, after all this time, "What do you want?"

"Please don't go home, come with me," Chanyeol's eyes are blown in full panic, he has his car keys out before he gets any answer, "Chanyeol, what happened?"

"Get in the car and I'll explain, I need to get you home," Baekhyun plants his feet in the ground, Chanyeol's caused so much mystery by leaving him hanging like this, why would he obey so easily, "Please, it's not safe,"

"What did you do?"

"Come with me first, I can't stay out long, please," he gives in, he's missed his voice too much to hear it pleading again, they rush to the car. Chanyeol doesn't turn up the music as he would usually do, he's speeding, past the limit, brows furrowed, he doesn't reach for Baekhyun's hand either, Baekhyun takes the first step, he can't hold back anymore, he takes one hand in his and squeezes, urges Chanyeol on, "I killed someone," Chanyeol begins with his voice creaks, "and I have to stay home because that's where I was supposed to be, so no one would suspect me," Baekhyun can't believe it- how can Chanyeol kill someone? The words are easy to say, like it's nothing, but the action itself seems impossible, to take a life, his lovely Chanyeol. Yet, he came out to get him, when he says he should be staying low.

"I don't understand," Baekhyun trails off, the man squeezes his hand before he takes his back to park, "Let's go inside first," the smaller is confused, but he still lets Chanyeol drag him along. All the lights are on in his apartment, the TV as well, Chanyeol locks the door then turns to Baekhyun with a long sigh, taking the proper time to admire the boy after what felt like ages, "Hyun," he breathes out, then attaches himself to the smaller, "I was so afraid, love, I'm so glad you're here with me!"

"Chanyeol, what did you do?" He saw Dongjun only hours ago, this can't be- he takes the fearful face in front of him in his palms, "Yeol?"

"I heard Dongjun and his friend talking at the club about you," Chanyeol's face is hard, angry and afraid, " Dongjun said he wanted to teach you a lesson and they wanted to come to your place together to..." He shakes his head, barely gets all the words out with long pauses, Baekhyun feels sick to his stomach, a little embarrassed that Chanyeol is the one to deliver something like this. He feels so dirty.

"I couldn't let that happen, Hyun, I had to kill that bastard," Baekhyun wishes he knew how to express his gratitude, the image in his head of him and two men in trapped in his apartment are scary, he'd rather be here in Chanyeol's arms, forever.

He takes the final step to his desired spot, whispers against Chanyeol's hoodie, "Who, Yeol? Who did you kill?"

"His friend, he was one of our members..." Baekhyun is fighting hard with his stinging eyes, "You didn't have to,"

Chanyeol ignores his comment, "They talked about meeting tonight after midnight, I was so scared they'll get to you first," he pets his head, tries to shield him completely from the world with his arms only.

Only now does he realize how much he despises Dongjun touches, when Chanyeol replaces them with his loving fingers, Baekhyun wants to cry, to curse the taller for staying away from him for so long. He clears his throat instead, "How did you do it?"

Chanyeol takes them deeper inside the apartment, walking backwards without any change in their position, they hit the couch and the man drops there, "I ran him over with my car," Baekhyun smells the neck his face found purchase on, he finally feels at ease, "he left the club drunk and it was the perfect excuse," Chanyeol's lips brush against his hair, "I don't want you to go back, Dongjun could come up with new ideas any time," Baekhyun sighs, "Yeol..."

"You're gonna get in trouble because of me, I don't want this, why did you do something like this?" He's sniffling, from frustration, he hates how he can't seem serious with his pathetic whines, he is.

"Hyun, the things they talked about...," He's squeezed harder, "I couldn't just stay there and let them do it," Baekhyun clings back just as hard, "You're so careless, Chanyeol,"

Chanyeol cups his cheeks, forces his downturned eyes up, "Actually, it wasn't my car, I didn't use mine, I was at home, alright? That's all everyone will know,"

Baekhyun is still in his denial bubble, shaking his head out of the protective hands, "If something happens to you..." a quiet pause, a heavy sigh, "Yeol, please stay out of trouble,"

Chanyeol sits up straight, takes the boy in his arms with him, "Fuck that, Baekhyun, don't you care about yourself even a little?" The averted eyes are enough of an answer, Chanyeol goes on, "I'm about to get promoted, I'll have a place at the meetings table soon,"

"Chanyeol wh-"

"If you won't, I'll take care of you for the both of us," A shaky intake of breath is heard, Baekhyun presses his lips against the hot skin of Chanyeol's neck, stills the sobs gathered in his throat, all for Chanyeol to make better, only speaks up when his voice regained its steady sound, he continues just as cold,

"Jongdae asked if you wanted to share me, right?" Chanyeol furrows his brows, this came unexpectedly, "Does Dongjun talk about me often?" He really doesn't want to hear the answer, he has an idea already. Chanyeol tenses, his hold gets more protective, if it was possible, "He... doesn't say your name, but he's always bragging about the boy he's got at home," He's had his fair share of drunk stories from the officer, stories that make his skin crawl, Baekhyun wears his scars so well, they're masked, part of who he is, a second skin, no one will ever hear from his mouth what really goes on behind those tired eyes of his.

Baekhyun feels bad for a whole different reason, "Chanyeol, I'm sorry," he mumbles, face still hidden, now in guilt, "I don't want you to hear that,"

Chanyeol sighs, lets out all his frustration, fears, regrets at once, "Stay the night, please? Our pets are already sleeping in the bedroom, Brown Paw misses you," Our sounds strange. He and Chanyeol, the first our for them. He nods slowly, extracts his heated face from the man's soft scented skin. Chanyeol takes to get him out of his shirt, unbuttons it only a little before he's stopped, "No."

The man chuckles, "Love, I'm just trying to get your lazy ass ready for bed." he presses on, but Baekhyun keeps his shirt in the same place with his hand, "No, please, I can do it myself, I have to use the bathroom anyway." Hurt flashes for a second in Chanyeol's eyes, "I don't understand, Hyun, what's the matter? Are you scared I can't hold back or wha-" Baekhyun pecks his lips to silence him, "No, Chanyeol it's nothing like this,"

  
Chanyeol is still confused, ''Did I do something?'' He's an absolute sweetheart and he had the worst luck when he met someone like him, Baekhyun knows, ''I just don't want you to see me like this,'' he whispers, small and ashamed, then gets up from Chanyeol's embrace, but the man keeps him in place by his hips, in front of him, pulls him close until he nuzzles his face on his stomach, then finishes the buttons when Baekhyun's hands fall by his side, his nose still caressing his fastly heating skin, ''Hyun,'' he looks up, at his chest, bruised and scratched, then regards the purple spots on his hips, ''I don't care,'' his lips rush to those very bruised hips, ''you're still the most beautiful to me.''

Baekhyun sobs on the spot, his hands tangle in Chanyeol's hair, keeps him pressed against his body, while the man continues to cover him in soft kisses. ''I don't understand you,'' Baekhyun speaks up when his voice is back again, ''If I were you, if we had to switch places, I wouldn't even want you near me like this, I wouldn't touch you ever again,''

''You care about me differently than I do,'' comes the simple answer, Baekhyun wants to ask but is afraid to know.

''I'm sorry-'' Chanyeol shushes him with a loud smooch to his bellybutton, ''Let's shower, it's late,'' he gets up too, ''Let's do it together,'' the smaller grabs Chanyeol's hand.

When they enter the bedroom, Toben seems happier to see him than his actual pet, who just raises his head then goes back to sleep, ''What did you feed him? His belly is enormous!''

''What, you think I wouldn't take care of our kids? I cook for them too,'' Chanyeol chuckles.

Baekhyun shakes his head, ''You're just trying to win my cat over,'' he rolls his eyes, and Chanyeol laughs harder, ''It seems like I was successful,'' Baekhyun laughs for the first time in 5 days, then when Chanyeol helps him out of his clothes in the bathroom, he keeps giggling at every brush of the man's hand against his bare skin, blame the tiredness.

''Did you get any sleep last night?'' Chanyeol asks, he sees Baekhun's shaking legs trying to keep him up, ''A little,'' a lie, ''Hurry up, it's cold,'' he watches Chanyeol closely as the man undresses too, catches every movement of every muscle, then he gets an idea, just as Chanyeol is about to put his underwear away. Baekhyun gets on his knees.

And Chanyeol jumps, takes a hold of both of his wandering hands, "What are you doing?" "I... thought-''

"Love, no, get up, you're barely standing on your feet," Baekhyun's lip trembles at the rejection, but he lets Chanyeol pull him up, "But you're so good to me and I never-" Chanyeol keeps interrupting him, he can't do anything else with such nonsense, "And if you're grateful, show it to me by doing what's the right thing to do and start taking care of yourself, not like this."

  
Baekhyun wants to curse at him, his way is easier.

Chanyeol was right, his legs give out under the hot water and he's left clinging to the man. He washes Baekhyun's hair first, with utmost care, it gets Baekhyun purring, blindly searching for any part of Chanyeol he can reach and kiss, his kisses land everywhere. And it keeps Chanyeol from rinsing them, but he doesn't seem annoyed, he has his usual soft gaze, on Baekhyun all the time, Baekhyun is crying, suddenly, it breaks out when Chanyeol is rubbing his back, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything,"

Chanyeol washes his tears away too, "Love, it's alright-"

"No, I'm only h-hurting you and you're taking me back every time, y-you don't deserve this, Yeol!"

Chanyeol squats down in the cramped shower to be at level with Baekhyun's hidden eyes, "Why are you crying so much, big baby? Why am I always making you cry, hm?" He leaves a kiss on his wet cheek, "I'm not hurt, I'm not mad, but I will be if I see your pretty eyes crying again,"

Baekhyun sobs one more time, then snorts, then chokes, "Fuck you, you're so cheesy," Chanyeol grins, "But it worked, see?" He kisses his other cheek as well, turns the water off.

Their goodnight kiss is long and sweet. So long it puts Baekhyun to sleep, he slips out of consciousness when Chanyeol pecks his closed eyelids.

\----------------

"Wise men say, only fools rush in," Baekhyun opens his eyes, Chanyeol is hovering above him, leaving little kisses over the patch of skin exposed by his risen up t-shirt, "but I can't help falling in love with you," a smile appears on Baekhyun's face, he shuts his eyes closed to steal more seconds of this moment, "Like a river flows, surely to the sea," Chanyeol is singing in his raspy morning voice, Baekhyun wants to be woken up like this forever, Chanyeol is kissing up his arms now, "darling so it goes," Chanyeol is treating him with so much care, it makes tears gather in his eyes again, especially when the man takes his hands in his and attacks them with kisses, "some things are meant to be."

"Can I hit snooze?" He mumbles, eyes still closed, Chanyeol chuckles, kisses the mole on his thumb repeatedly, "Yes but do it gently, please," Baekhyun presses on his hand, grabs it to pull Chanyeol over him again, they're forehead to forehead, staring into each other's eyes,

"I want you," Baekhyun whimpers out, Chanyeol's gaze darkens.

"Love, It's so early," Chanyeol whispers against his ear, nibbles it, Baekhyun has a tight grip on him, his legs tangled over his back, hips rushing to meet his then back again, "I still want you," Chanyeol pulls back to look at his pleading eyes, "But you're in pain, you're still sore," Baekhyun first gives a broken gasp, when his hips aim in the right way, "M-mhm...I can take it," Chanyeol shakes his head, pecks his forehead, "Have you ever been with a guy? As in giving?"

Baekhyun shakes his head, gives up on trying to taste Chanyeol's neck in favour of paying attention to his words, "No, is there any difference?"

"Yes, it feels better in my opinion, tighter," Baekhyun is already shaking from holding back so much, he doesn't understand where Chanyeol's control over himself is coming, "Do you want to try it?"

He is a little too fast with nodding, but Chanyeol gives himself to him just the same. He is impatient, as always, trying to steal as many kisses as he can while caressing where he can reach faster, Chanyeol takes his face in his hands to gain his attention, "Please slow down a little, I...don't really bottom, it's been a while," then his hunger gives way for softer touches because Chanyeol deserves them, his mind is clear now, when his lovely Chanyeol is the only thing he can see, beyond the body that's being offered to him, he feels only Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, how should he act to give the man only what he deserves, only the best. His pink cheeks, constantly parted lips, messy hair, his big heart, they all need only the best.

Good thing Chanyeol lives really close to the restaurant, he slips out of bed only 15 minutes before his shift, leaves the latter sleeping peacefully. Apparently, the secret to good tips are smiles, Baekhyun finds out when he starts work with a soft smile that grows through the day, every time he thinks of the beautiful man he left in bed. He can't escape the image of Chanyeol, under him, above him, gasping for air and for more of Baekhyun. He serves tables with rosy cheeks and a dumb smile to match them, but the customers seem to like it better. Minseok teases him all day, but his boss congratulated him for the hard work, it's all Chanyeol's doing.

Not even Dongjun's visit takes him out of this floating state, but it puts him back to reality a little, the officer looks pissed, but the restaurant is full and he can't drag Baekhyun out without causing a scene. The smile he gives when he leaves is cruel, Baekhyun doesn't want to think, for a while. He takes his lunch break in the evening and skips to Chanyeol place, he'll make the best of the 30 minutes he has.

But it's all a big mess at Chanyeol's place. He enters on the open door and shouts is what greets him. Someone that is not Chanyeol is shouting, voice strained from it. "Are you stupid? Are you really stupid?" He doesn't recognise the voice, but doesn't know how he should let his presence be known either, instead he remains in the hall, "For him? Really? Couldn't you find something better to waste your time on?" It's starting to make sense to Baekhyun, he wishes it didn't.

"Sehun." Chanyeol mutters, low, scratching, he almost doesn't catch it. Of course it's Sehun. Baekhyun feels a burn in his chest at the next words.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, CHAN? Catch a venereal disease?" Baekhyun clutches on the back of food he's brought for Chanyeol, "for fuck's sake, Chanyeol, if you wanted your turn with him, you could've just asked Dongjun for it! Not this, you crazy bastard!" A chair rattles, Baekhyun steps back, he feels the tears on his cheeks spill down at the movement,

"Sehun, get out."

"W-what?" Sehun's voice fades, until it turns into sobbing, "You're not thinking straight, Chan, please listen to me! He's only going to bring you trouble, please!" Chanyeol sighs, loud enough for Baekhyun to hear it clearly, "Please stop crying and get out, I don't have anything else to tell you." Sehun's sobbing gets worse, it makes Baekhyun's tears fall harder too, "Why him? What's he got so special? Why would you do this for him?" Baekhyun has heard enough, he opens the door slowly, his break is almost gone anyway, "You know you can't kill one of our men, YOU KNOW! If they-" He closes the door behind him, leaves, he shouldn't have came in the first place, Sehun is right, in everything.

It's not a suprise when he returns without his smile, this is how everyone knows him. Time passes too slow until he's finally able to leave, and when he does he slips out through the back door, Chanyeol is probably waiting for him in the front. He goes straight home, where

Dongjun is waiting, where his place is and should be. The man only comes to teach him how to listen to him, bangs his head against the door until Baekhyun grits out a fake promise, then he leaves, not in the mood to see Baekhyun anymore, because he's upset him.

Baekhyun falls asleep on the floor, against the door at some point, no motivation to get up, the couch is just as hard anyway. A knock on his door comes a little too late, but it wakes him up still, his head is pounding, outside is still dark, more knocks come.

"Hyun, please open the door," Baekhyun keeps listening, feels every knock in his head, "I know you're in there, I'm going to come in," He still doesn't say anything, the door opens and it pushes him with it, until Chanyeol slips in. Baekhyun sees the exact moment his expression falls, when his eyes land on him.

"Baekhyun, why did you do this?" Chanyeol takes a place on the ground next to him, draws him legs to him chest, he looks defeated, tired, "What did I do, Hyun?" He sounds resigned too, he's found himself in this situation too many times,

"Tell me, what did I do wrong?" Baekhyun watches him, but his mind is far away, he can't form an answer, he wants to sleep forever,

"Was it this morning? Did I do something? I'm sorry if I forced you," This doesn't suit Chanyeol at all, this dejected look, voice, "If you didn't like it you could've just said so, I'm sorry," It was one of the best things he's experienced, how can Chanyeol sound so insecure, he never does, "Why would you do this, you..."

"I'm not good for you," he finally speaks up, his throat hurts.  
But what hurts the most is seeing Chanyeol like this. Criticizing himself, hurt and taking all the blame.

''Why now?'' Baekhyun can't look into those crestfallen eyes anymore, he finds a spot next to Chanyeol's head, ''I don't understand, please tell me the truth, Hyun, what did I do?''  
He doesn't have an answer, he keeps staring behind him, done with this, done with everything, he's accepted that's how he is, "Baekhyun!" Baekhyun grits his teeth, "You're getting too attached to me, it's annoying, you're suffocating me, I don't want you like that,"

Chanyeol snorts, almost desperate, "I asked for the truth, don't even try this on me, I won't believe a word," Baekhyun grunts, looks at him with so much hatred, all that he's gained from everyone, "I'm just not good for you, I don't want you near me anymore!"

Chanyeol studies him, his lip remains curved, still confused, "I don't understand you, Hyun..." That's all he says, before he sighs and drops his head on his knees, hides his tired face, "I wish I did but, I really don't know what to do," Baekhyun keeps staring at him, lifeless, they remain in silence. All he needs is a push, and he'll crumble down in Chanyeol's arms again, but the man keeps his face low, only lets out steady breaths. It feels like hours before Chanyeol speaks up again, deeper and final, "Let's stop this, please, let's just go home."

"Why won't you listen to me?" Baekhyun snaps, "Because you don't want it either, love, look at you, you look miserable." he reaches out to touch the dry blood on his temple, "Look what he did to you, my pretty baby, why would you come back to this?"

Sehun's words come back to him in full force, "Why would you waste your times like this?" Chanyeol temple is twitching, he remembers the talk with Sehun too, as he raises Baekhyun up from his misery,  
"Because I love you, Hyun, how can't you see this? After everything, how can you still question this? Everything I do, I do it because I love you, I want you every second of the day with me, safe and away from every bad thing that ever happened to you, yet you do everything in your power to keep that from happening," Chanyeol is out of breath, his eyes are wild and sincere, "Why do you do this? When I love you so much that I'd do anything for you, just why?"

This is the push for Baekhyun, the touch does it, his composure breaks down, he does too, throws himself on the floor with his face in Baekhyun's lap, "Why, Yeol? Why would you still want me?

Baekhyun withers under his hold, until he's small and afraid, clutching on Chanyeol's hoodie with all he's got, "Why do you love me? I don't know what to do, Chanyeol! Why are you saying this?!"

"Because it's the truth, love," he goes softer at the sight in front of him, the need to protect Baekhyun is stronger, "Just come home, come back to me, this place is not where you belong, you said it yourself," "I'm afraid, Dongjun is suspecting something," he feels feverish from all the crying, leans against Chanyeol with his whole weight, "he told me that he will find out what I'm hiding, what if he comes to your place Yeol?" "He won't, right now, he's already on the blacklist for everything they had to cover for him, he can't do more shit,"

Baekhyun breathes him in, calms down with it, "He knows my dad, he knows everyone, he's going to make me lose my job, Chanyeol..." "I will find something, love, I promise I will," his fingers massage his scalp, avoiding the cut on his temple, "if he does, but he won't,

I'll get it back for you," Baekhyun doesn't believe him, he shakes his head, but only gives one more sob, "Yeol, let's go home..." And Chanyeol takes him home. How ironic, when they leave the place he's been living in with a part of his clothes and his belonging, and only when they arrive back at the man's does he call it home. He doesn't know when it has come to this.

Chanyeol barely has time to clean his wound before he passes out in his arms, too tired to fight it anymore. He trusts Chanyeol entirely, to get him changed and into bed, back into their safe place.

In the morning, he already has his place in Chanyeol's apartment. One side of the mirror drawer, one side of the shower, one side in the kitchen cupboard, one side of his wardrobe, one side on the mat at the door. Chanyeol's place becomes theirs in no time, Baekhyun unpacks swiftly, and when Chanyeol is woken up by Toben and Brown Paws bickering, Baekhyun is already in the kitchen with two cups in front of him, "Who did you get so pretty for, Baekhyunee?" He comes out of the bedroom tidying his bird's nest of a hair, He took time to get his eyes pretty again, when he finished arranging the bathroom and got reminded of all the make-up products he wasn't using, "Hmmm, there's this guy Park Chanyeol, you might not know him though," "Well, this Park Chanyeol is very lucky then,"

"Is he?"

"Mhmmm," Baekhyun grabs him by the hand when he comes to take a seat and guides him to his lap instead, pecks his lips then smiles at his startled face. Chanyeol clutches his chest, whispers to himself, "Oh no, he's even more beautiful up-close, what am I gonna do,"

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, leans in to give him a morning kiss, ''Morning,'' Chanyeol replies enthusiastically, whispers after, ''Should we switch? I'm heavy,'' Baekhyun only squeezes him tighter, ''I don't mind it, let me kiss you,'' then he dives in again, Chanyeol doesn't get out another word until they part for air, then he chuckles, ''I'm already being bossed around in my own house,'' Baekhyun flicks his nose, ''I made coffee for you, I hope it's still warm,''

Chanyeol only turns around to grab his cup, then he's back to look at Baekhyun's face, he's mesmerized, he pecks him again before speaking, "And what are you drinking?" Baekhyun grimaces, "That piss thing," Chanyeol kisses his nose, "Good boy," After every sip, they end up sharing a kiss, until it gets Baekhyun groaning in his mouth, hips raising for more pressure, "Yeol, we don't have time,"

"I know," Chanyeol pushes the words in his mouth, Baekhyun groans again, frustrated, he grabs Chanyeol by the hair to get him away from his lips, "Stop it, you tease," Chanyeol feigns innocence, "I was just kissing you, what did I do?" Baekhyun's other hand grabs on the man's hips to still them, "This," he thrusts up, to let Chanyeol feel his hard on better.

The latter gasps, surprised, "Oh no, guess you'll have to live with it," he switches his attention to the clock on the wall, "Look at the time, it's so late Baekhyunee,"

Baekhyun whines, chases his lips some more, "Fuck you," Chanyeol gets up, laughing softly, "Tonight, I'll wait with dinner,"

"No that's not-" but he stops to groan again, the image Chanyeol's put in his head not helping him still down his arousal at all,

"I love you, Hyun," he's interrupted, it comes so suddenly it makes him choke on his words, the man laughs, "I hope you have an easy day."

He has, because he only thinks of going back home where Chanyeol is waiting for him, he's afraid to go back in his break again though. Dongjun comes as usual, but now with more trouble, he complains about the dirty table, demands Baekhyun to be scolded for not paying attention and makes him wipe it twice, while he stares at his behind when he bends over. Baekhyun does it trice just to show him it's nothing. He even hints at Baekhyun being fired because he's not as attentive as before. Baekhyun just grits his teeth, through the whole day.

After closing he sprints to Chanyeol's building, makes sure no one is waiting for him them goes for it. He feels so needy and pathetic, especially when Baekhyun jumps in his arms and clings on him like a koala, with his legs wrapped tightly around him and his face in his neck.

But he can't help it. Chanyeol loves him, he said he does. He wants that love more than anything, he can't think straight when Chanyeol's words ring in his head, "Hyun?" Chanyeol catches him, he barely has time to when Baekhyun throws his bag on the floor, but he rocks him like a child, kisses his sweaty hair, "Did something happen?"

Baekhyun exhales, voice rough h from overuse when he speaks, "No, I'm just tired, "

"Do you wanna go to bed?" Baekhyun nods, eyes already closed, but Chanyeol can't see them. The man chuckles while he carries him, not even once do Baekhyun's hands stray away from the hold on his neck, "I missed you," he mumbles, barely heard, it makes Chanyeol's heart beat faster, he catches it instantly, a hand goes to caress the man's chest, "I missed you too," Chanyeol lays them gently in bed, with Baekhyun above him to embrace him completely, he's buried in Chanyeol, hid away, "Your heart is still beating fast," Baekhyun rests his head above it, wills his breath to fall in pace with the thumping, "I told you, I love you," Chanyeol whispers in his hair, the touch scorching for Baekhyun's insides.

And suddenly it's not enough, the clothes on them are scratching where Baekhyun would want to feel Chanyeol, he grunts softly then his sneaks between them, on Chanyeol's belt, the man gets the idea fast, he's the one who gets rid of both their pants in the end, the shirts follow, until Baekhyun gets what he wants. Chanyeol knows he's content when he looks up at him, resembling a tired puppy, with the way his moles stand out against his skin pale from exhaustion, his puffy eyes, but he's still smiling.

Baekhyun takes a hold on him away, this time their skin glued together, from all the sweatiness Baekhyun gathered from 14 hours rushing, Chanyeol doesn't seem to mind, spreads his legs to really cover Baekhyun who falls between them. He'll transfer warmth to his cold skin if that's what he needs. The boy kisses his chest, once, twice, short pecks, where his heart is beating. The taller's piercing doesn't seem that appeasing right now, his body, what he wants is his heart.

He gets it, beating faster once again, how to stop time like this? Baekhyun wishes he knew. "Im tired, Chanyeol," he speaks up after long silence filled his Chanyeol's caresses on his back, the man's palm is burning, where his skin is not, cold and pale, it raises goosebumps all over his back. Chanyeol nudges him with his chin, resting on top of his head,

"I only want you, but I'm so tired," Baekhyun sighs, he sounds hopeless, pushing the words out without rounding the end of them, not living, talking, for himself. The meaning behind them doesn't miss Chanyeol, but he has no words for this.

  
"I don't even want my dad back, I just want it to be over already," he keeps his face hidden, he started talking and now he doesn't know how to stop, "And I know I shouldn't, but I hate him so much, for everything I had to do for him," Chanyeol feels him shiver, probably from the thoughts in his mind, they feel like memories. "I should want him with me, and I feel so guilty for it," at this point he feels like he's spluttering nonsense, with his slurred words, too meaningful to be said like this. Or maybe now is the perfect time, because Chanyeol's hands are the comfort he never got, they touch every place of his that's aching for fulfilment, keep him going, maybe it's always been like that. "But I only want you. My father could die tomorrow, but if you were to turn your back on me I don't know what I'd do,"

He's shivering nonstop, Chanyeol doesn't know where it is coming from but he reaches for the blanket to cover them both, "I'm tired of this, why did you have to come and do this? What did you do to me to get me like this?"

Chanyeol's chest feels wetter, "Everything can go to hell, but if you leave me now I..." A broken whine gives away the reason for his wet skin, Baekhyun begins whimpering, sucks in breaths. This is how he expresses his emotions, his affection, Chanyeol is overwhelmed by the feeling of Baekhyun open like this.

Chanyeol makes a cocoon for both of them out of the blanket, he can barely breathe under the soft material, but Baekhyun seems to like it, he rocks them back and forth, chants his love under his breath, "W-why can't I stop crying in your presence," just as he finishes another sob escapes past his tight lips, "you don't deserve this, you do too much for me for this,"

"Stop, love," he parts his hair with his chin, plays with the locks, "don't hide yourself from me anymore, I want this, you, with everything you've got,"

"There's not much I have to give," his crying gets hardest, he latches on the man's chest, clamps until he can't feel his hands anymore, "I will only bring trouble to you, Sehun was right," because the boy's words are still haunting him, he analyses them with every chance he's got.

"What? What about Sehun?" Chanyeol's grip changes into a more protective one, his voice isn't soft, only for him, "I heard you talking, I came to have lunch with you and..." His nose is getting in the way of talking, Chanyeol gets a hold of his discarded t-shirt and uses it on Baekhyun's runny nose, it's disguising to Baekhyun, but the man doesn't bat an eye at it, Baekhyun breaks out in a sob agaib, "I'm sorry,"  
Chanyeol is sorry too, because Sehun's said worse things than that, and Baekhyun heard them all, his hand is twitching on Baekhyun's back, "Sehun is just scared and jealous, don't believe a word he says, love,"

"But it's the truth!" "Whose truth? It isn't mine," he says simply, but it's enough for Baekhyun to run out of argues. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't spend every night like this," he motions towards his face, wipes his tears again, "hell, I even promised you something and look what I'm doing I'm pa-"  
Chanyeol cuts the last word short, "You will get better, my love, you will, I promise," Baekhyun's shivering again, "C-call me my love again,"

"My love?" Chanyeol chuckles fondly, kisses his head before he whispers again, "my love," and again, and again, Baekhyun catches every one of them with his breath held, they pierce right through him, "my beautiful little love,"

Baekhyun groans, he can't get any comment about his cheesiness out though, his body is tingling too much for it to stop.

Chanyeol keeps whispering it, as a promise, until Baekhyun doesn't remember if he's asleep and dreaming it or not, he lives Chanyeol, dreams Chanyeol, until morning comes he doesn't wake up again.

In the morning he's dressed up in big clothes, his work clothes are also neatly put on the chair at Chanyeol's desk. The man doesn't move one cm while Baekhyun gathers things around the room, not even when he's in the shower, not when their pets are making a mess over the kitchen floor the food Baekhyun spills. Chanyeol even left a plate of the diner he made last night ready for him. Baekhyun feels bad. He's taking for granted all of Chanyeol's efforts. The man must be exhausted, putting up with someone like Baekhyun and keeping it all inside must be draining. He really doesn't deserve sweet, sweet Chanyeol. All Baekhyun can do for him is a coffee before he has to rush out.

Then he feels foolish, for letting it all out like that on Chanyeol, he can't remember half of the things he's said but he knows the feeling the memory gives. Chanyeol has already a lot to deal with, he just had to make a fool of himself more. The first hours he's spaced out, until Dongjun comes and brings him back to reality. He's only in the bathroom for one minute, he forgets to check the time, he would've known, when Dongjun comes after him. Drags him in a stall while he has him held tight, Baekhyun can't breathe.

He comes with a goodbye, he's leaving for some time and there's so much love Baekhyun would miss, he has to give it all now, in the time he has left. But Dongjun's also suspicious, it's the only explanation for all the questions he throws Baekhyun's way.

Or the disappointed glares.

He leaves, leaves Baekhyun with a bitter taste in his mouth, dripping from the corners of it too. He throws it all up, with a pair of gentle eyes in his head to make it worse.

11pm comes too slow, after it he mops the floors the fastest he's ever done, to jump faster into Chanyeol's arms. He does it, the first thing after closing the door behind him, he finds Chanyeol in the kitchen singing to their pets, and he locks him in the tightest hug.

But he's not undressed like he always is when at home, he's wearing all black, Baekhyun pulls back to frown at him after he inhales the scent of home, ''Where are you going?'' Chanyeol wants to kiss him, chases his lips but the smaller turns his cheek, he's too ashamed, the of cum is imprinted on his nostrils, lips, he feels it everywhere, Chanyeol doesn't have to know, ''I have to do something, I'll be quick,'' he pouts, ''give me a kiss,''

Baekhyun ignores his request, but he's tired and selfish and clingy, annoying on top of all, to himself, to Chanyeol too even though the man doesn't say it, "Don't leave me," he squeezes Chanyeol as if this is the answer to every problem, nudges his chest with his forehead,

"Love," Chanyeol whispers, soft, he pulls back to see Baekhyun who's insisting on hiding, "I'll be back soon, I just have to drive someone, I'll come back," he pushes the hair falling on his face behind his ear, it's getting long, it makes Baekhyun look even prettier,  
Baekhyun gives one final whine, then he gets annoyed at himself and groans, pushes Chanyeol's arms away, "Are you a chauffeur now?" The man just stiffens his jaw, "Get ready for bed, I'll be fast, promise," Baekhyun turns away to hide his trembling lips above anything else, he sighs when the door closes. Mad at Chanyeol for not coming after him, mad at himself because he pushed him away in the first place.

Chanyeol left dinner, he goes to take a shower first, he'll wait to eat with Chanyeol, that's his plan. But it changes under the hot water, he barely sits down on the bed before he's out, even though he tries to fight the sleepiness.

Later, he wakes up with a startle, cold skin is touching his back. He gets up just as Chanyeol is slipping behind him, the man gets scared too, "Shhh, go back to sleep, I'm sorry," But he doesn't want to, a day without Chanyeol is enough, he can't take another one, he shakes his head, shakes the sleep off as well as he turns around, "No," he takes the man's face in his handa, forces his blurry vision to focus on his beautiful Chanyeol, he's cold and shivering, "I missed you,"

Chanyeol studies his face, wanders his eyes on both of his, the ghost of his cheeks, his nose, until they fall on his lips, "Can I kiss you?" It saddens Baekhyun that he even has to ask, that he'd made him ask, when the boy would give anything to him, for him, "please," is Baekhyun's answer before sweet lips meet his, he sighs, as Chanyeol caresses his upper and lower lips equally, plays with his tongue until he's melting in his arms.

They swear they'll stop, but every time one pulls back the other rushes to unify them again, "How did you get Dongjun to leave?" Baekhyun whispers, millimetres away, "How did you know it was me?"

"It's always you, always has been." he nibbles on Chanyeol's jaw, he feels the smile his words form on the man's face, he doesn't have to look to know it looks beautiful,

"I was supposed to go with him in China for one week, I always pick him to accompany me, we need a cop to travel freely," Baekhyun bites the skin under his jaw and he grunts, but I asked Jongdae to go with him instead," Chanyeol's always done so much for him, silently, he never demanded anything in return, just his trust, Baekhyun is hit with a new wave of affection he doesn't know how to express. He pours it in another kiss, different, more aggressive, more Baekhyun, "I want to hold you, you're in my arms but it still doesn't feel enough," the hot whispers are going straight to lower parts, to Chanyeol too, he feels him against his stomach, "I want you so bad,"

Chanyeol chuckles, "You have me, Hyun, I'm not going anywhere,"

Somehow Baekhyun ends up on top of him, he's rocking against Chanyeol as he watches every other expression slip from his face until only desire is left, Baekhyun dives in for another kiss, "Can I?"

"It's late, Hyun, you have to wake up in 2 hours," Chanyeol doesn't sound convinced though, their kiss gets sloppier, with every push Baekhyun gives, "please,"

"I know you want it too," it's messy, how pushes his words and his tongue into Chanyeol's mouth, he loves it a little too much, he tries to slip his hand into Chanyeol's underwear, but the man takes his hand in his instead, "You're in pain,"

Baekhyun growls, frustrated, "Fuck, Yeol, stop thinking about me for once," he gives a harder thrust, directed to Chanyeol's parted legs, the man winces, "You think I don't notice it, but you're always flinching, stupid boy," his other hand flies to Baekhyun's hips, "stop,"  
He drops his forehead on Chanyeol's, half pouting, "At least let me touch you..." he grumbles, and Chanyeol sets his hand free, it retakes its initial direction, straight to Chanyeol's member, he takes him in his hand. Baekhyun loves the way Chanyeol's breath hitches,

"You want me too, I don't understand, why are you so..." good isn't even the word for it, Chanyeol's past that, "perfect, in everything," yes, that's it, it's like Chanyeol can read his deepest desires, "fuck you," the way he moves his hand on Chanyeol is forceful, long pumps while he tightens his fingers around him. Chanyeol tries to get some words out, but they get caught in his throat, he raises his hips in rhythm with Baekhyun's movement, chases his hand himself,

"Y-you're always on my mind, Hyun," it makes him weak, the sinful expression Chanyeol's plush, parted lips give, his little breaths pushed out, "I can't help but think of your well-bei-agh, slow down," Baekhyun was thumbing his slit, it got Chanyeol shivering, the smaller smirks as he lowers his lips to Chanyeol's collarbone, he probs the inviting skin with his tongue, gets it wet, then whispers against it, "go on," he moves his hand in time with his lips, marking /his/ Chanyeol, "I only want what's b-best for you, because- ah, Hyun, not there,"

The boy raises his eyes innocently, from where he had bit on his already sensitive pierced nipple seconds ago, "Because?" "Because- fuck, because I love you, I l-love you so much," It does things to his heart, gets it jumping in his chest so much it drowns out any other sound, his hand gets faster, "Say it again,"

"I love you, Hyun," he gets out between grunts, and it's all it takes for Baekhyun to come in his pants from dry humping Chanyeol alone, his vision is shaken, only Chanyeol remains the clearest thing he's ever laid eyes upon, "I l-love you too, I swear I love you too," he falls back on Chanyeol's forehead, and the man remains dumbfounded, then surprised, then he's smiling so big, so bright, so beautiful, his erection is forgotten, Baekhyun's lips are the most important thing to him right now, how he wishes to never let them go.

Baekhyun has barely one hour of sleep left when they're done. Or they aren't, but the smaller falls asleep while whispering back the words of love Chanyeol gives him. Chanyeol's alarm ringing sounds like the worst thing on earth, Chanyeol can't open his puffy eyes fully,

Baekhyun is used to it, he sprints out of bed, but to his surprise, Chanyeol follows, dizzy and looking very much like the puppy trailing after them to the kitchen, ''Go back to sleep, Yeol,'' ''Noooo, I'll send you off,'' he whines, rubbing his eyes, then Baekhyun puts the kettle on and he leaves to drop on the couch, Brown Paw quick to follow in his lap as well. It's funny, how his dog seems to be more attached to Baekhyun, while Brown Paw barely pays Baekhyun any attention now that Chanyeol is feeding him.

Their pets resemble their personalities a lot.

Because Baekhyun would like to be comfortably sitting on the man's lap instead. ''Hyuuun~ hurry up, I miss you,'' Baekhyun rolls his eyes, ''Shut up or I'm not making you coffee anymore,'' But he hurries nevertheless, he's back to Chanyeol holding two cups in no time.

He pushes his cat aside to sit on Chanyeol with no shame, the man holds him chuckling, ''Then you wonder why he hates you,'' his eyes move for a second to check the liquid in Baekhyun's cup, then he kisses his nose,

''Oh, I almost forgot,'' he kisses his lips this time, ''Morning, pretty.'' He is anything but, he must be looking like a tired mess, but Chanyeol looks at him all the same, ''Ahhh, you're so beautiful I can't take my eyes off you,'' Baekhyun groans, hits him softly with the back of his head where Chanyeol has his lips, ''It's too early for this, please stop,''  
Chanyeol rushes his hand to his injured lip, ''I knew love hurt but...'' Baekhyun turns around to face him, exasperated, ''I can do more than that,'' Chanyeol beams, ''If it's from you, anything,'' The smaller hits his chest, ''I hate you!''

''Yes, yes, I love you too!''

Baekhyun let's kiss face be showered in kisses, Chanyeol only speaks up after minutes, ''Babe, I have to do something again tonight...''

Baekhyun can't stop his lower lip from curling, ''No.''

''I don't have a say in it, love, I owe Jongdae a favour,'' The boy puts his can down, circles his neck with slender arms, ''Take me with you,'' Chanyeol frowns, ''You'll be too tired, stubborn baby.''

''I don't care, I'm coming too!'' He really is a stubborn baby in this moment, from his face to his voice, he doesn't care, Chanyeol loves him even like this, ''Where are we going?''

'You don't wanna come, it's gonna be messy,'' Chanyeol gets the long hair out of his face, his eyes literally light up when Baekhyun's whole face is front of him again, the smaller sees it, ''I have to clean a place, and Jongdae is messy,'' Baekhyun is confused, ''You'll see,'' Chanyeol adds.

Slowly, Chanyeol's phone becomes his too. The man sees how he watches as he scrolls mindlessly, then offers his phone to Baekhyun to do it himself. The boy curiously switches between apps, like he's learning it again, clicks everything, until they end up sharing every app for two accounts, Baekhyun enters the ones he remembers too, and Chanyeol's phone starts blowing up with everything coming back from Baekhyun's forgotten social media. Time passes as they open messages and stalk Baekhyun's uni friends, nostalgia hits the boy the hardest, but Chanyeol is behind him to hold him through it all, rock him against his steady chest, ''Do you want to keep my phone today?'' he whispers, Baekhyun shakes his head,

''No, it's yours, I can't use it during work anyway,'' Chanyeol is playing with his hair, ''If you want anything, tell me,'' Baekhyun meets his eager lips, keeps still to savor every moment with the man. ''Thank you for everything, Yeol,''

Parting is hard, but it doesn't stay like this for long, because Chanyeol comes to the restaurant to eat together, and they can barely let go of each other in the taller's car when it ends. He gets teased today too, but he doesn't mind. Not as much as he should.

Time flies and flies, even when he's in the kitchen handling the food, even when he has to go get supplies for the restaurant, even when he has to chop onion for one hour, not even the floors give him trouble today, because Chanyeol is waiting for him outside when he's done.

He practically jumps into Chanyeol's arms, it suprised the man as much as he suprises himself, it's like he can't hold back his clinginess, his cheeks heat up as Chanyeol coos at him, ''And I thought I missed you like crazy,''

"Chanyeol, this is crazy," they're in his car, Baekhyun is chasing his lips as well as trying to speak, "I never felt like this before," he takes a hold of Chanyeol's hand and guides it above his heart, "What did you do to me? Why am I like this?"

Chanyeol could explode from this much pride, "I don't know love, but I'm so, so happy," their teeth clash from all the smiling, but it never stops them, "Take your shirt off, I brought you something," Baekhyun smirks, "Do it yourself," Chanyeol does, without needing to be told twice, with every button he works open, a kiss lands above the new revealed skin, Baekhyun whimpers when he pulls back to get something from the backseat, a large black sweater, clearly not what he expected from this begining.  
He dresses him up too, then pecks his forehead telling him what a good child he is, Baekhyun curses him to the moon and back. A beanie lands on top of his head, the same to Chanyeol's, the man tells him to get all his hair under. Then he's given bags for later, it gets too weird, "Where the fuck are we going, Yeol?" "To clean a mess, I told you,"

"Why do we have to wear beanies?" Chanyeol has his eyes on the road, his hand accurately goes for Baekhyun's, they come back in their usual spot, changing the gear together,

"Because we don't want our hair in there,"

"Chanyeol...are we cleaning a crime scene?" Chanyeol kisses his hand, frowns at the coldness then blows hot air on it, "Hmmm, depends."

"On what?" He's getting impatient, "If it gets found or not, we're doing in right just in case."

They're out and Chanyeol gives him one last kiss before he turns serious, he looks more like the man he's seen with Dongjun the first time, he likes him Chanyeol better. They have their shoes covered too, in plastic bags that give Baekhyun a hard time walking, rubber gloves to hide their hands, Chanyeol patiently instructed him on everything. He's now carrying a mop and a bottle of bleach. The house they approach looks deserted and old, it makes Baekhyun stick to the man, but he only receives a soft gaze.

It's not as messy as he'd made it up in his head, at a first glance, just the flipped table looks out of place, but there's little pools of blood almost everywhere, and where they're not there's drops of it, Baekhyun imagines Jongdae, then a cat letting a injured mouse run around only to catch it in the end, it looks like that here too. Chanyeol begins turning the chairs back on their feet, takes out a broken one and puts it next to the door, Baekhyun feels small and useless, he tries to follow him around, but the man is focused on what he's doing. He feels like a kid when he timidly says, "I want to help too," It takes seconds for Chanyeol to realise he's been spoken to, only when he fixes the table does he turn around, shakes his head, "You did enough at work already, love, just wait,"

It's irritating, Baekhyun ignores his words and picks up the trash bags, "What should I do with this?" Chanyeol's eyes are hard, but they soften at Baekhyun's eager expression, "Um...leave that to me, it's better," Baekhyun shakes the bag, stomps towards the center of the room where Chanyeol's cleared the path, "So what do I put here?" "Chanyeol groans quietly, points under the furniture and just about everywhere, "Check for any thing that should be here, trash or anything," Baekhyun nods, he wants to jump and kiss him before he starts, but he thinks better of it. The man begins cleaning everything he's put together with bleach, brows furrowed. So Baekhyun begins, with pieces of wood, of paper that couldn't have been from now, until he gets to the thicker blood stains and he suddenly feels like throwing up.

The bleach was already making him dizzy, but he picks up a finger, a cold finger that he can feel even through the gloves, skin just as he has, and he can't keep down the gag, Chanyeol's head snaps to where he's staring at the finger in his hand.

"Hyun, I told you to leave it to me, I'll do it, just sit and wait," He shakes his head, eyes never leaving the object he's holding, until his sickness is pushed down, he remains just hypnotised, studies it. A human finger, just like his own. His own doesn't look like it can leave that easily, always been there and he's used to it like this. He's never thought that they can be cut off so easily until now. He measures it against his own, bends his, as if expecting a reaction from the cold stick too. It looks too easy, the human body looks so easy to turn into an unmoving object right now. Chanyeol watches him, an unreadable expression on him when the boy turns to ask, "How is it like, killing somebody?"

"Hyun, I told you to leave it to me, I'll do it, just sit and wait," He shakes his head, eyes never leaving the object he's holding, until his sickness is pushed down, he remains just hypothesised, studies it.

Chanyeol really thinks for a good answer, the waiter sees it on his expressive eyebrows, "Hmmm, I don't know," he shrugs, "I try to forget it usually, all I know is that I don't find any pleasure in it, I mostly do it out of duty," Baekhyun bites his lips, thinking, he finds a cut off ear, studies it just as diligently, gets rid of it with a new sense of acceptance, "Have you killed a lot of people?"

"Not really, I used to work in the front, mostly talking, Jongdae was the one covering for me," he's efficient, more than Baekhyun who got caught up he's done with cleaning, comes to the smaller's help, "What changed?" Baekhyun asks as a challenge, he already has an idea, "I wanted more," he takes the bag out of his hands, steals a peck on his nose, "I'm about to get promoted,"

"Did you do all of this to kill Dongjun?" The ugly name doesn't resonate well in the quiet place, Chanyeol softens his words, "No, I did it for you,"  
He feels guilty, Chanyeol really is the type to stay away from this,"Chan-" The man sees his mood change before he even notices, they touch foreheads, the glove and obstacle to Chanyeol's searching hands, "I want to be able to protect you, from everything,"

Baekhyun shakes his head, full of regret, laced with cruel realism, "Don't promise me this, Yeol, no one can protect anyone, not from everything,"he whispers against his cheek, which he nuzzles, "But I want to try," Chanyeol whispers back, and they stay like this for a while, just enjoying the other's breathing getting heavy, "Let's finish and go home?" Chanyeol breaks their trance, "I love you, Yeol,"

Chanyeol's taken aback, the smaller feels his heart speeding under his hand, giggles, delighted, whispers it again, "I really do, I don't know how to express it, it's too much to try and put it in words," Chanyeol waits, breath held and eyes shining, "I don't know what to do, Chanyeol, I want to be with you every second of the day," he sighs, lowers his head, "Why can't we-why did it have to be like this, it's so unfair."

It's the worst moment to be romantic, with Chanyeol holding a bag with pieces from a man that's probably dead somewhere now, but the scenery doesn't bother the man even a bit, they're in their own made world again, he says while bumping his nose against the boy's cheek,

"We can do it, we'll make it, if you just stay by my side, I promise," Baekhyun doesn't nod, although he's tempted to, he's still afraid, of every scenario he's made up in his head, "I love you," he mutters it like a kid that's learned a new word, and now it won't leave his mouth, Chanyeol chuckles, pecks his lips loudly, one, twice, thrice until he has to step back, with renewed energy, "Alright, we have to burn this," he shakes the bag, "and I have to finish cleaning, step outside for a minute? Go in the car and wait if you want,"

''No, I want to stay with you.'' Chanyeol moves faster, he's done in a minute, they leave the house quietly and when they reach Chanyeol's care the man kneels in front of him, bows his head ceremoniously, ''My love,'' he reaches for Baekhyun's foot, and he gives it,

Chanyeol takes the bags off one by one, then his gloves, kisses the dainty fingers lovingly even if they must be tasting and smelling like rubber and dirt, Chanyeol has no problem, gives special attention to the mole on his thumb, ''How can every part of you be so pretty, huh?'' he shakes his head next, pouting at himself, ''No Chanyeol, focus!'' Baekhyun rolls his eyes so hard, ''Fucking creep,'' he mumbles, trying to seem angry, but he bursts into a little laugh at the end.

Then he giggles when Chanyeol comes forward, still on his knees, to be at level with his belly, noses the material of his sweater, ''Such a dirty mouth, my beauty,'' he tsks, and Baekhyun raises his foot towards him as a warning, he gets up laughing, ''I won't give up!''

Chanyeol drives them to a field outside the city, where the October air is felt amplified, Chanyeol takes him in his arms from behind, covers him completely, after fruitless attempts at getting him to wait in the car. They watch the fire quietly, Chanyeol sways the both of them with no rhythm, Baekhyun comes to the conclusion that it feels like home everywhere Chanyeol is.

The fire takes too long to burn everything, Chanyeol begins to press small kisses against his nape, it gets Baekhyun shivering for a whole different reason. The man licks, nibbles, kisses, caresses, every part of skin in his way, until he turns Baekhyun around to taste him. This is how the smaller ends up on top of the big, cold car, his legs spread until they hurt to let Chanyeol do whatever he wants between them. The man doesn't rush, it's painful, with every powerful press of his lips, Baekhyun heart is loud in his ears, Chanyeol's slow pace is torture for him, they're so different in their way of loving.

"C-chan, let's go inside," he's squeezing Chanyeol between his legs, the taller stops the kisses on his forehead to throw a curious glance, "love, wait until we get home," "But I want you..."

"The car is cold and I don't have anything we need in there," Baekhyun pouts.

"Where is this stamina coming from? I'd be dead already,"

"Old man," Baekhyun pouts harder, it makes Chanyeol throw his head back in a laugh, "Are you really gonna ask for sex this way?"

"Nevermind, I don't want you anymore, stop touching me," He slaps the hands caressing his thighs away, but he can't hide his pout from Chanyeol. The man raises an eyebrow, cups him through the material of his jeans, where he's hot and leaking, "Oh, you're right, you don't."

Baekhyun let's out a frustrated grunt, "I want your body, ok? Not you, leave me alone," Chanyeol plays dumb, "But I am my body, so you want me too," The smaller raises his feet to kick him away, "Shut the fuck up, you're so annoying,"

"And you're a little liar~" The taller singsongs, helps him get down from the car, "I think we're almost done here," he kisses a stubborn Baekhyun, goes to the burning ashes to stomp on them, it looks like he's checking something to Baekhyun, then comes back with a wide smile,

"Let's go sleeping beauty," Baekhyun's eyes really got smaller. He was fine a minute ago, but inactivity made way for tiredness, he smothers a yawn, takes his usual seat in the car. Chanyeol immediately takes his hand in his, takes them in their usual spot.

Sleeping beauty he is, because the man has to carry him back home in his arms, Baekhyun won't keep his eyes open and legs straight. Their pets are waiting inside, on the bed, Chanyeol has to fight for it with them with one arm, hold Baekhyun with the other, the smaller just laughs at him. Chanyeol never wanted a kid but he ended up with 3.

When the man wakes up the sun is high in the skin, breaking through the window, giving the impression that it's warmer than it really is. Chanyeol feels really warm, he gets surprised by it, because what's keeping him warm is the sleeping boy next to him. The sun rays hitting his hair make him look so peaceful. It's too late for him to be sleeping, Chanyeol is confused, happy at the same time, his dog is sleeping in Baekhyun's arms, while the boy is burried in his, their cat is just sitting beside Chanyeol, awake and waiting.

The whole picture is making him light headed, Chanyeol is wondering if he actually woke up.

But the whines coming out of the smaller's mouth sound real, he reaches across Baekhyun's pillow where his phone remained last night to check the time. It really is late, did Baekhyun forget to wake up? Doesn't sound like him. Baekhyun stirs, Toben jumps, Chanyeol groans.

Baekhyun raises just his head to glare at everyone, his eyes set on the dog scratching the floor, "I will kill you," he mutters, then drops his face in the pillow.

"Don't scare my baby, he can hear you!" Chanyeol's voice cracks, rougher than usual, Baekhyun giggles, turns around, Chanyeol's hair is a mess, but he's sure his whole face is just the same. The man kisses it blindly. "Morning beautiful, why aren't you at work?"

Baekhyun rubs his eyes, throws one leg over Chanyeol's torso, "I had to leave early to go visit my dad anyway so I took the whole day off for it," Chanyeol nods, leans in but he's stopped by Baekhyun's fingers on his lips, "Don't, my breath is horrible," The man shakes off the fingers, "I don't mind it," Baekhyun grimaces, "Yours is too,"

Chanyeol sniffles loudly, pushes Baekhyun's leg away, "Noooo," the boy whines, puts it back again, "Make up your mind then," Chanyeol replies in fake hurt, keeping his hands on his stomach to avoid touching Baekhyun, "I did," Baekhyun smirks, sneaks his hands into the man's boxers to take a hold of his ass. He gasps, "Baekhyunee, we have kids starving!" The boy is massaging the soft skin, long fingers looking for his entrance, "You have a kid starving here too, what about me?" He says pouting, using a kid's voice while his middle finger is trying to break into him. Chanyeol eyes him suspiciously, "This is no kid,"

Baekhyun sighs, searches for his lips at the same time his free hand goes for his underwear, to take it off, "Can I?" He whispers, lips barely touching, he takes Chanyeol's upper lip between his to suck on it, stilled finger waiting for approval on his twitching rim,

"Go easy," the man whispers back, lets his tongue meet Baekhyun's burning one, he lets himself be led by the smaller, he's fully on his side with his underwear lowered bit by bit, until it becomes just a memory on his shivering skin.

Baekhyun turns away for a second to grab a small bottle from the drawer, then he's back to attack Chanyeol's face, cupped in his palms, with soft touches and whispers, like he'd taught him. Chanyeol's lashes are fluttering, with every kiss trailing down his neck, his collarbones

His stomach is fluttering the hardest though, especially when the boy's lips have gotten low enough to pepper kisses on his member. Baekhyun wraps his wet lips around the head, and his hands fly to stop him, "Love, you don't have to," Baekhyun looks up with round eyes,

"I want to," he takes more inside his mouth, unsure bits, eyes open and curious for Chanyeol's every reaction. He gets one when he starts sucking on the head, Chanyeol remains out of breath, "Am I doing it right?" He stops to wait for confirmation in words, even though

Chanyeol's reaction should be enough, "Y-yes love," He smiles, lips stretching further around him, as he goes back to bouncing his head. His hands are busy opening the cold liquid, it touches Chanyeol's skin and he jumps, accidentally making Baekhyun choke, but he isn't even allowed to comfort the smaller, who goes on like nothing happened, teary eyed, with his fingers poking at Chanyeol's entrance. One slowly pushes in, he's working by memory, from Chanyeol's previously teachings, trying to remember what felt good to him. He curls his finger and Chanyeol goes deeper in his throat again. That felt good to him too.

He steals a glance of Chanyeol, who's biting his lips so hard they're red, eyes tightly shut, Baekhyun smirks, detaches his lips from him, "Yeol, don't hold back," The man opens his eyes slowly, as if reminded he's not alone, they're wide and pitch black, his lips slowly part, as Baekhyun continues to work him open, it starts with soft whimpers, breaths pushed out through his nose, but when the boy gets to the third finger he lets out a cry, "Hyun?" He's climbed back to him, foreheads touching, "What, baby?"  
Chanyeol is quivering, "It burns a little,"

"Sorry," Baekhyun pecks his lips, takes out one finger. It melts his heart when Chanyeol relaxes again, the beauty he's radiating is overwhelming, he feels like crying at his softness, his trust. He has to massage his velvety insides again, while sharing a sloppy kiss. "Turn around?" He does, drags his heavy body on the bed. It gives Baekhyun time to study him, the red skin of his stomach, his puffy nipples, his beautiful Chanyeol.  
He guides himself into him, the slide easily from all the lube until he actually breaks in, then he's trapped into the tight heat. Chanyeol is trembling, trying to keep his legs spread apart and not pull back, the smaller circles his body, pulls him closer to his chest until he is completely in, he groans, "You're still so tight, fuck Yeol,"  
He gets a pained moan as a response, his fingers travel on the man's stomach to keep him busy, while his lips trace patterns on the exposed neck, handed to him. Chanyeol keeps clenching on him, it's painful for the boy, but the man cuts it short with a whisper, "go on,"

He does, with his lips and hips in tandem, it gets Chanyeol moaning softly, the waves he creates into him, "Am I doing alright?" Baekhyun stutters in his ear, unable to keep his hips still any longer, the sound of skin meeting skin gets louder, "Yes love, you're a-alright,"

"Moan louder then," he growls into his ear, pushes Chanyeol on his stomach so he can climb on top of him, reach better into him. The man does as he's told, has no other option when the smaller rips them out of him with every angled thrust, it fuels Baekhyun on until he's gripping on his hips to push him into the sheets, Chanyeol is a mess under him and he enjoys every second of it.

"A-ahhh, Hyun, wa-" his breath gets caught in his throat, ends up whimpering in a high voice, Baekhyun stops, bends down to drop a kiss on his back, "Too much?"

"Yes..."

"I'm sorry," he intertwines his fingers with the ones gripping the sheets under him, raises them on the headboard to grip there, goes slower on Chanyeol who's back to soft moans.  
He sticks his body to Chanyeol's back, whispers in his ear continuously, "I love you, I'm sorry," it gets Chanyeol to raise his hips and meet him too, the man searches under him to take himself into his hand. "I love you," Baekhyun says again, like a mantra, with his nose smelling Chanyeol's hair, smelling home, the man whispers back, but his ends in a moan.

It takes longer to finish with this pace, but they do, Baekhyun wears the smile of the biggest lovesick fool, maybe he is.  
Chanyeol pants. Baekhyun pants. They pant into each other's mouth, then side by side, hands clasped tight and eyes closed. "Maybe I should take days off more often," Baekhyun speaks up, teasing and out of breath, "Maybe you should," Chanyeol replies just the same,

Chanyeol rolls over, "Shower together?" Baekhyun thinks for a while, "Mmm, I'm not gonna risk it," he winks then pushes up on the bed, Chanyeol remains with his mouth open. Baekhyun would too, this confidence is uncharacteristic to him, but it's all Chanyeol's doing, he pecks the man, "I'll make lunch," he gets up on wobbly feet, "You can cook?" Baekhyun turns around with hands on his hips, defensively, "I work in a restaurant Chanyeol," "But you always eat that instant crap..." "I don't really like it anymore, I cook enough at work,"

Baekhyun moves fast, works with what he can and what he finds thrown in the fridge, he turns on the radio before Chanyeol can, and takes on the task to sing to the pets used to it, waiting, as well. He doesn't notice when the shower turns off, ''You have a nice voice,'' a voice from behind him says, it makes him jump, he hasn't really sung around Chanyeol, usually not in the mood for it, ''It's not windows breaking, I guess,'' he laughs, turns the stove off before he turns to Chanyeol on his tiptoes, ''You said you like chinese, right?''

The taller nods, rests his warm palms on his hips as Baekhyun circles his neck with his arms, ''I tried,'' he whispers, then leans in to touch Chanyeol's lips with his. Elvis's song is on, the one Chanyeol has used to wake him up before, the man wears an open expression of content as he guides Baekhyun's body with his arms, they move slightly to the music, eyes never going astray, Chanyeol mouths the words to him and they dance, then they dance again some more, swaying, spinning, if Baekhyun could stop time, he would choose this moment, forever.

''Do you want me to drive you to the hospital today?'' Chanyeol asks then pushes his hair behind his ear,  
''You should dye your hair again,'' Baekhyun nods then nods again, ''But don't cut it, you're so pretty like this,'' He nods again, at this point he'll do anything Chanyeol wants him too, too lost in his eyes to do otherwise, ''I was thinking black,'' Chanyeol smiles, ''I have some black dye left from me, I can do it if you want,'' The smaller nods rapidly, ''Tonight?''

Chanyeol frowns, ''About tonight...'' Baekhyun's heart stops for a second, assuming the worst. His mind is already telling him he's being sent home, so he latches onto Chanyeol's neck, not ready to look into his eyes for the words. Chanyeol catches him, a little fazed by the change of behavior, ''Love? I wanted to ask you if it's alright for the boys to come over...'' he takes the hidden face in his arms, forces Baekhyun to look at him, ''What is it?''

He shakes his head, feeling silly, ''Nothing,'' he clears his throat.

''What boys?'' Chanyeol is still unsure, ''It's just Jongin now, we usually have a movie night tonight, but I can cancel if you want,''

''No, no, it's alright, this is your house,'' ''But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable,'' Chanyeol is playing with his hair again, searching his eyes for a truthful answer, ''I'm not, really,''

Chanyeol grins, ''Let's eat then, the food is getting cold.''

They play footsie under the table until Brown Paws, who's waiting for his share of food takes it as a signal for playtime, he attacks the bigger foot, Chanyeol's shriek is so comic, Baekhyun ends up coughing, then they laugh at each other like the biggest idiots until  
Chanyeol's left neighbor puts an end to it by banging loudly against their wall. It's their signal to finally get dressed and out the door.

Baekhyun gets rid of his merry state the closer they get to the hospital, Chanyeol is by his side to cover the hand given to him in kisses, ''Should I go in with you?'' Baekhyun turns to him with pleading eyes, ''Please.''

''Anything for you, love,'' The man beams, but it doesn't rip out a smile, just a short tug of lips, he'll take that too.

The hospital looks more depressing than usual, with the solemn air around them, what's worse is the room they enter, it feels like death. The man on the bed is a breathing ghost, just skin sticking to bones. He squeezes Baekhyun's hand one last time before the boy takes a seat next to the bed, clasps the bony hand in his. "He has severe episodes of delirium, he's mostly sedated lately," Baekhyun explains to him, under Chanyeol's piercing gaze, then goes back to looking at the weak form in front of him. He can't make out features that could resemble Baekhyun, but on a second thought, the boy looks just as thin and lifeless as the man, the only difference is that Baekhyun has to be alive. Has to live for the both of them. Chanyeol wonders what his father's reaction would be if he knew just how much Baekhyun's done for him.  
No parent would do this to their kid willingly.

But it doesn't look like the man will ever find out, this is just a shell, not Baekhyun's father. It's heartbreaking to Chanyeol. It hits him then, how strong Baekhyun actually is. If he was to have the remains of what used to be his father in front of him like this, or to do everything Baekhyun did, he would've given up long ago. Baekhyun never voices his pain, sadness. Chanyeol sees it in the way the boy's eyelashes tremble as he's silently looking at his father, and his heart is burning, he can't imagine how Baekhyun must feel.

Minutes stretch on, and Chanyeol stays against the wall watching Baekhyun- how he's back to his neutral, impassive expression he hasn't seen in a while. He feels useless. Baekhyun gets up after some time, brushes his pants to steal time, "I'm going to talk to the doctor, I'll be quick." the boy says flatly, pushes past him without waiting for a response. Chanyeol is left alone in the room and he actually gets creeped out, he feels watched, although the man is peacefully sleeping. He comes to the conclusion that he hates hospitals, steps out of the room.

Baekhyun comes back in a rush, with his eyes straight ahead and his stony face, he grabs Chanyeol's hand and drags him along, "Let's go," Chanyeol keeps throwing questioning glances all the way to the car, "Hyun, what happened?" The boy shakes his head, "Nothing," he finally raises his eyes to him, they're so hard on the man, "Chanyeol, can you take me home?"

"That's where we're going, love."

"No, back to my place, I wanna go home."

"What?" Baekhyun doesn't pay him any more attention, "I want to be alone."

"What are you saying? I'm going to stay out of the bedroom and leave you time alone if you want, I'm not taking you back there," he grips the steering wheel, almost missed their turn, to busy searching answers on Baekhyun's blank face, "It's your house Chanyeol, I want to be alone," Chanyeol pulls over with a sudden turn, Baekhyun doesn't even flinch, the man takes a hold of his shoulders to gain his attention, "Hyun, what is this? What happened?"

Baekhyun struggles to form an answer, different kinds of pained expressions run through his face, "I don't..." he looks into Chanyeol's eyes for help, "He's expected to die next week, I don't know... what to do next, I have no r-reason for-" he inhales deeply, "for anything else, no reason to be...h-here," Chanyeol sucks in a sharp breath, he's edging between wanting to smack some sense into him or hugging him breathless, "What were you going to do back at your place?"

Baekhyun lowers his head, he gets his answer. It angers him. He puts the car back on the road, forcefully takes a hold of Baekhyun's shaking hand to hold it tightly, "As long as I'm here, you won't, I won't let it happen."

Silence settles over them again, because Baekhyun won't say another word, "You're so stupid Hyun, so stupid and so blind..." The smaller snaps his head in his direction, hurt, "But it's not even your fault." Chanyeol is muttering more as an afterthought, "I don't know who should I be angry at," This is how Baekhyun feels everyday.

Chanyeol picks him up in his arms despite his complains, carries him like this upstairs, Baekhyun throws a tantrum on the stairs, but doesn't put any actual effort in climbing down, he holds Chanyeol tighter.

"I don't want to ruin your night, Yeol," They're back in bed so fast, hidden under the covers, Baekhyun is hidden under his arms, "What?"

  
"Your movie night,"

"Forget about it, it doesn't matter," His hand clasps on his arm, "No, don't cancel, please,"

"Hyun..."

"I'm fine, don't cancel because of me."

Chanyeol whispers in his hair, "Are you sure?" Baekhyun nods, "Maybe a movie'll make you feel better after all," Chanyeol says, his voice gains determination, "I'm going to get everything ready in the living room, wait for me?'' Baekhyun nods again.

Chanyeol movies with that in mind, creates a spot on the couch filled with extra pillows and blankets only for Baekhyun, goes to the store to buy all different kind of sweets. He almost forget to get beer, and it was what he came for, Jongin would have killed him. He cleans the place and moves around until it's too late, a knock on the door takes him out of deciding which candy Baekhyun would like more.

  
At the door there's not only Jongin, Sehun is behind him too, with an apologetic face turned away, "Hey?"

"He wouldn't leave me alone," Jongin greets him with a pat on his back and pushes inside, the taller remains in the doorway, waiting for Sehun to meet his eyes, "What are you doing here?" He sounds more harsh than intended, the boy flinches in hurt, "Hyung, I'm sorry, please talk to me..."

  
Chanyeol crosses his arms, "Why? You don't respect my choices, you don't respect me, why do you want me to talk to you?"

  
Sehun looks hurt, "I won't do it again, I promise," he's keeping his hand to himself, it seems hard, "I will apologize to him too, just stop being mad at me."

"I'm not mad,"

  
"You're ignoring me, it's worse," The boy finally looks into his eyes, pleading, "I'm sorry Chan, I miss you, please," The man opens his arms, it's the signal it takes for Sehun to throw himself into them, with a relieved sigh, "Is he here?"

  
"Yes," Chanyeol takes them inside, Jongin is already comfortable on the couch, with the cat lazily swaying its tail in his lap, he goes to the bedroom to bring Baekhyun too.  
He finds him curled up in bed, still in his clothes, wincing in his sleep something Chanyeol can't decipher. Somehow the view is breaking his heart, Baekhyun looks so small and out of his place, he wants the boy in his arms.

But he can only close the door behind him and let him rest some more, not having the heart to wake him up, he goes back to the ones waiting.  
It's Sehun's turn to pick movies, he picks some sappy drama the other two men both groat at, but they go with it. It takes a while to start it, more interested in catching up, they laugh until it gets too loud and Chanyeol silences them with a stern finger. Sehun rolls his eyes, "You're really his bitch now, hyung," he sniggers, pulls Toben in his lap to play with him this time,

"Him?" Jongin joins in, interested more now than when he was typing on his phone, "Is Baekhyun here?"

"Yes, he's sleeping," Sehun raises an eyebrow, "It's afternoon...?"

"Yeah, and he's sleeping, what about it?" The younger pouts, bites his lips because he would've liked to add more, but he's not here for a fight again, "How old is he anyway?" Jongin adds, throws his feet over Sehun's lap, who was his thrown over Chanyeol, "He's 24, why?" Chanyeol mutters confused, Sehun's face falls,

"I thought he was younger than me, what the fuck," he bursts out in a laugh, Jongin joins, a little confused, never paying much attention, "so you're not a pedophile after all, disappointing,"  
The boy they've been talking about comes too eventually, when the laughter doesn't stop, he stays in the doorway with only Chanyeol's shirt now and one sock on, hair a mess, "Yeol?"  
"-oh," Chanyeol sees how be sobers up, eyes moving to all of them until they land on Sehun, then he's glaring, "Love, come here, we didn't start the movie yet," He's about to enter the bedroom again, ignore every word and greeting, when Sehun stands up and walks to him, despite the murderous look Baekhyun keeps on him,

"Baekhyun." So he stops, crosses his arms with an eyebrow raised, "I'm sorry for everything, I've been an asshole and I'm sorry," his eyebrow goes higher, ready to call out his bullshit, he shots a glance behind Sehun, at the ones on the couch, Chanyeol who's watching him staring at him encouraging, Baekhyun's face softens, "I just-" Sehun is embarrassed, "you know him now, you've seen how Chan is, I just wanted to protect him," he hides his face with a hand, not knowing what to do with it anymore, "fuck, man, I feel like an idiot saying this,"

Baekhyun bites back the smirk forming on his face, keeps himself looking uninterested as he says, "I suggest you keep your distance a little, wouldn't want you catching a venereal disease," he winks, then pushes past him with a hard shove of his shoulder, goes to where

Chanyeol is waiting with the other man, Jongin, who salutes him with his hand before going back to his phone. He pays little attention to how Baekhyun sits himself on the man's lap, Sehun on the other hand comes back with a groan, "Take a fucking break,"

Chanyeol chuckles, takes a hold of his arm to drag him back between him and Jongin, in his previous place, he accepts it with fake annoyance. Baekhyun's accepted his apology, although not with words, Chanyeol feels how he's comfortable in his arms, with Sehun beside them, he's quiet though, Chanyeol's learned that he is like this with everyone but him. Sehun spreads his legs, one on Jongin one on Chanyeol, he moves his eyes, from Jongin, fastly typing on his phone, to Chanyeol who is running his hand up and down Baekhyun's arm, seeming like they're having a conversation with their eyes only. He sighs, loud and whiny, "I didn't come here to feel single and lonely, fuck you both,"

"You know where the door is," Jongin speaks up, when he seemed like he didn't even know what's going on in the room, it makes Sehun sulk, hit his hands with his knee until the phone slips out of his grip, then he throws himself after it, catches it in an iron grip while  
grinning victoriously, "So, movie?" He turns to nudge Chanyeol too, but he's greeted by an annoyed Baekhyun,

"Are you always this annoying?"

"Are you always looking like you have a stick up your ass?"

"Do you wanna-" Chanyeol clasp a hand on both their thighs, "Kids, don't make me put you in the corner,"

"Fuck you, shut up," Sehun rolls his eyes, Baekhyun follows, then sits down from his lap, Chanyeol gasps,

"Now you're both turning against me? Unbelievable," he jokes, then reaches Jongin who got a hold of his phone again to slap his shoulder, "give it some rest, let's just start this movie,"

"What is it about?" Baekhyun asks softly while Chanyeol gets up to search for the remote, "I don't know, Sehun picked it, don't expect much," Jongin is the one replying, Baekhyun sniggers, nods, "I didn't anyway,"

"Chanyeol! See!" Sehun points a finger at Baekhyun, who narrows his eyes at him, the man whose name he called turns back, "you two, just be nice already," He comes back and slaps Baekhyun's side playfully until he makes room for him to sit again, closes his legs which he parted for Chanyeol to sit with a smirk.

They start the movie, eventually, Chanyeol has to take turns paying attention to everyone, except the bored boy sitting the furthest from him. First it's Baekhyun, who climbs back on him, then Sehun who keeps stealing his unoccupied hand and directing it in his hair, then come the pets, who are fighting for a place in his lap also. Baekhyun picks up his cat who kicks him away slowly, until he's left standing in the air because he has no space left. Sehun laughs at him, so he drops the cat back down, next to the dog munching on Chanyeol's toes.

Sehun sticks to the man, happily shaking the hair from his eyes when Chanyeol begins scratching, it earns a groan, ''Hun, it's too hot, stop,'' he pushes him away from his sticky body. Baekhyun watches them with interest, little annoyance, they're both shirtless, and Sehun tries to crawl on him too, points to Baekhyhun who's watching him pettily from Chanyeol's lap after, ''You have no problem with him choking you,''

''Just fucking shut up already,'' Jongin mutters, pulls Sehun to him to embrace him, Baekhyun's attention goes to him and he finds the tanned man with teary eyes. The tv has a death on, one no one apart from him's been paying attention to, Chanyeol sees too and he chuckles, ''So you don't like the movie, right?'' Jongin just raises his middle finger, crushed by Sehun who sits himself comfortably on top of the slightly smaller man. Baekhyun begins paying attention to the boring movie too, with his Chanyeol tapping his fingers against the bare skin of his legs.

Baekhyun dozes off, with Chanyeol rocking him like a baby, he's on and off, catching bits of conversations, movements. Someone gets up to get beers, Sehun, he comes back and Baekhyun's eyes close again. He hears a comment about him being a baby before it, the voice sounds like Jongin, but it could only be in his dream. The meds usage gets him sleepier and now that he has time for it, he can't hold back. "Man, he has no ass," someone exclaims, laughter follows, Baekhyun's parts his eyes to look around, Jongin was the one talking, and the TV has a naked butt on display, Baekhyun wants to go back to sleep, "Like you do," it rumbles through the chest his head is resting against, then he's shaking, although Chanyeol tries not to do it too much to not wake him up,

"Like _you_ do," Jongin retorts, Sehun sneers, then bursts out in a full laugh that wakes Baekhyun up completely, "Seems like Baekhyun found something there though," the boy adds, mocking the taller man who splutters out a "what" "You're limping so much it's hilarious." Jongin completes Sehun, then they both high five, finally agreeing on something. Baekhyun giggles to himself, pecks Chanyeol's sweaty chest.

He raises his head to glare at the both of them for getting Chanyeol flustered, but they only coo at them. The movie is forgotten when they almost reach the end, Jongin and Chanyeol engage in a talk about drug dealings both Sehun and Baekhyun look confused about,

"You went without me?" Sehun asks, almost pouting, "It was urgent, someone had to try them before paying and I had no time to come pick you up," Chanyeol explains, the boy in his lap feels suddenly small and insignificant between the older friends, when Chanyeol's hands stop caressing his thigh in favour of their conversation, "You know I like to do it!"

"Stop sulking, I was still mad at you," Sehun sulks some more, watches Baekhyun as he pressed against Chanyeol's chest, seeming uninterested when he's actually demanding attention, a taunt smile appears on his face at the two of them, getting an idea to tease both more. He can't hide the smirk in his words when he says, "You know Baekhyun, you gave him the biggest blue balls of his life,"

Said boy raises an eyebrow, "Did I?"

"Sehun, I can still kick you out, don't try me," the man points his bottle of beer towards him, threatening to spill it over, But the boy just shushes him, more interested in Baekhyun, "After that night long ago, you left him hanging and he wouldn't stop talking about you, it's been torture, he wouldn't want anyone else man, you should've heard him," It gets both of them flustered, Sehun's smirk grows, devilishly, he gets kicked off Jongin's lap by Chanyeol's long leg.

Jongin raises his eyes from his phone just for 2 seconds, enough to see him fall, then he's back like nothing happened. Chanyeol bursts out laughing, but his ears stay red. Baekhyun's are the same, haunted by the thought that more people know the details of the night when he's made a fool of himself. On the other hand, Chanyeol who has his face hidden in the strong scented hair of his, has his face burning for a whole different reason.  
He never planned to tell Baekhyun just how much he's been craving him.

But it's out now, they get over it through the night, but Baekhyun's touches get more suggestive, more scorching, they say he's acknowledging Chanyeol, and everything he's done for him, with his eyes more open now. Sehun falls asleep, Jongin and Chanyeol are left talking in hushed breaths, until the third person leaves them too. "Are you sleeping over too?" Jongin ponders on it, looks at Sehun who's peacefully breathing out through his mouth, wetting the pillow he fell asleep on, "Yeah, he still doesn't sleep without me," he takes his fingers softly through the boy's hair, he stirs only a little, then he points his chin at Baekhyun, "How do you sleep like this?" He's referring to the whimpers that began tumbling out of the blonde's mouth, Chanyeol smiles softly, "I got used to it."

Truth is, he didn't very well, he sleeps the same as Baekhyun does, wakes up through the night just as frequently as the boy, but it's gotten better now, if he just squeezes him tighter, he's getting more hours of sleep than before. Chanyeol carries the boy back into the bedroom, strips him of his shirt then slips behind him, kisses him goodnight even though he won't know.  
Baekhyun wakes up the next morning ahead of Chanyeol's alarm, he's slept more than 12 hours and his body can't take any more, he feels full of it. So he tiptoes around the apartment until he has 10 minutes left to get ready, no one besides their pets wakes up even once, he makes breakfast and coffee for everyone, slips a note under Chanyeol's mug for the man only, smiling from ear to ear, then he's gone for a new day at work.

Even though Chanyeol's assured him so many times, he still spends his day looking over his shoulder, it's his instinct and he can't suppress it over 2 days of sweet words. His boss keeps sending him displeased looks all day, before he left Dongjun made sure to have a talk with the man, now he's eyeing Baekhyun's every move, waiting for him to mess up. He doesn't.

Chanyeol is waiting for him at the door when he closes, this time on foot, meaning he's not going anywhere, Baekhyun's heart falls back into it's initial tempo. He gives the warmest hug.

''So, black hair?'' he asks after he drops the keys on the counter, eyes on Baekhyun who's already stripping with every step he takes. The boy turns his head around, ''Surprise me,'' Chanyeol grins, hurries after him to also get changed, takes a hold of his slim waist from behind to pull him closer, enough to whisper in his hair, ''You're going to be so beautiful, I can't wait,''

Baekhyun gasps softly, turns around in his hold to lace his arms above the broad shoulders in front of him, now bare and inviting, ''So now I'm not?''  
''You always are, love,'' The smaller hums out, questioning, Chanyeol picks him up in his arms, holds his thighs in a secure grip until the boy entangles his legs around his torso, gives him an eskimo kiss after, many follow as he guides them into the bathroom.

"Leave my nose alone and just kiss my lips already," Baekhyun whispers indignantly, rounds his lips for the man, who takes his offer gladly, holds him up against the door to ravish his pouty lips. A hand trails down his naked skin, feels his chest, both of his breasts equally, his abdomen, the skin curving on his hips, it gets hope sparkling in the smaller, who is ready to push his lips forward, but the man gives another words than he'd expected, "You're getting rounder,"

"I-?" Baekhyun stops in shock, he was ready to fish out Chanyeol's cock, in his mind the image was already clear, he really thought that was the next step after this. He goes soft in a second, with a groan, "Of course, when I have you stuffing my mouth 3 times a day,"

Chanyeol chuckles, drags his lips along the collarbones standing out, asking to be noticed, but they only touch as a warm whisper, not pressing enough, gone as fast as they came, "That sounds very suggestive, love," Baekhyun huffs, tries to wriggle out of the hold Chanyeol has on him, now massaging the soft flesh of his ass with circular movements, "No, it doesn't," he tries to push the man away, annoyed with all the teasing, "seems like I have to beg to get my mouth stuffed in the other way, one time,"

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, lets him climb down from his arms, the boy has a mischievous glint in his eyes, a smirk ready to bloom, "You're too horny for your own good," Baekhyun snaps, "Well how do you expect me to stand here with you naked, with your fucking tattoos and your, ugh-" he jabs Chanyeol's nipple with a finger, the man jumps, "your freaking piercing shining right in my face and-" Chanyeol watches, amused, as his cheeks get hotter and hotter from too much talking, "You're a fucking tease and I hate you,"

Chanyeol pouts, Baekhyun pinches his nipple again, "I want you, I'm sorry I'm not 28 and in need of a retirement home, okay?"

"I told you, I'm still 27," Chanyeol turns him around when he takes to leave, turns his face to the closed door to, pushes just a little, "Yeah, until when?" Baekhyun presses back, arching his middle the way he knows Chanyeol likes, until he hears the man's breath grow heavy,

"Until 27th next month," he grows in his ear, pushes his face against the door more, his arched back to him until the smaller is grinding on him, "I know you, if we do this then we're not dyeing your hair tonight either,"

Baekhyun sounds insulted, but he doesn't still his hips, "Who said I wanted to do anything with you?" The man sighs, frustrated, lets his hand wander to Baekhyun's front, to take a hold of his erect member, "Oh, right, my bad," he says mockingly, lets him go all together.

The boy is left hanging, almost loses his balance for angling his body so much on Chanyeol's support, he bangs his fist against the door when he's met with the surface alone and remains like that, "Fuck you!"

"Thought you didn't want that?" Chanyeol speaks from behind, the boy hears cabinets being open, he turns around to find the man on the floor, setting the last things for the hair dye.

Baekhyun joins him on the floor, in the end, still sulking, the taller only chuckles endearingly, welcomes him back with open arms as he drapes a plastic cape around his shoulders.

Chanyeol handles him with care, it takes longer and it's getting late, but Baekhyun sighs in content at the first finger massaging his scalp, then he's stuck doing that, to hear more happy sounds for the smaller. It gets the boy purring, swaying from side to side if he's not holding him up tight enough, he gets so sleepy to the point his last words come out slurred. Chanyeol's caring hands put him in a trance.

"Hyun?" Chanyeol breathes in the back of his neck, now wiping the dark stains that somehow got on Baekhyun's skin. "Yeah?" he murmurs with his eyes closed. Chanyeol is finished, he pulls away everything used and draws back with Baekhyun in his arms until his back hits the shower. He rests there with Baekhyun closely in his arms, they wait. "I've been thinking about this for some time..." He checks if Baekhyun is listening, steals a glance at the peaceful expression of the boy, "When all of this is over, I want you to joins us,"

"Us?" Baekhyun breathes out, "You know what I'm talking about,"

"I do but...I don't have-" Chanyeol silences him, "I don't want an answer now. Think you it, okay?" The smaller nods for the sake of the man more than anything.

Chanyeol hums softly in his ear, scrolls through his phone to pass time. Baekhyun doesn't turn around, curious, as always, he has his eyes closed.  
"I'm afraid," his voice cuts through the silence, a mere whisper but the words startle Chanyeol, "Why love? What happened?" He turns the boy to him to check on him immediately, he's relieved when he doesn't fine tears, just tired eyes.

"I'm afraid of when you're going to get tired of me and send me back home," the boy says with downcast eyes, it gets Chanyeol stunned, "What?" He tries not to raise his voice, but he can't believe his efforts have done nothing at all, "Love, no, what are you thinking about?" He cups both of his cheeks, "I want this to be your home from now on, if you want it too. I'm not going to send you back there, you're home right now, here with me."

"But you can kick me out any time-" Chanyeol takes one hand in his, places it above his heart, the other one is guided to his lips, they tickle it softly, "Do you think I will?"

"Not now but..." "Baekhyun, I'm so in love with you, you have no idea," Chanyeol chuckles, turns his hand to kiss his palm now, "I promise you, that no matter what happens, as long as you want it too you'll live here with me, this is your house too now,"

Baekhyun nods, shaky, "I found some painkillers hidden in the cabinet and I took them all," he confesses with his head bowed. Chanyeol's first instinct is to frown, but he continues to caress his hand, "I-I also picked up smoking again, in the time I went back home..."

He can't look up and meet Chanyeol's disappointed eyes, "I know how hard you tried, I'm sorry, Yeol,"

Chanyeol hushes him, "Don't say sorry," the boy is confused, "promise me you'll try harder too," Baekhyun didn't deserve it so easily, Chanyeol's sweet kiss, "I d-do, I will."

"Let's wash your hair, you should sleep," Baekhyun nods, mind half away, he hasn't gotten over the guilt that easily. Chanyeol takes both of their underwear off, picks the boy up like he's nothing but feathers and steps into the shower.

"Don't fall asleep on me, come on," Chanyeol nudges him when the boy lets his head completely rest on his chest. His body follows, drawn in by Chanyeol gently scratching the excessive dye off, with the tips of his fingers pressing enough to get Baekhyun's legs to buckle.

"Love!" Chanyeol slaps his ass until he winces, opens his eyes, "You're mean," he mutters, rubbing his red skin, he decides to help Chanyeol by washing their bodies, while the man finishes his hair, "And you're a baby."

"You never call me baby," He says as a matter of fact. "Do you want me to?" Chanyeol turns him around after turning off the water, steals a kiss and a lot of stares, "it makes you look so pale, you're so pretty."

  
"Hmmmm, I like "love" the most," Baekhyun smiles, bashful, not knowing how else to react at the compliment. Chanyeol dries them both back in the bedroom. He gives extra attention to Baekhyun's hair, until he gets it all frizzy, sticking in all directions.

He coos, "Who's my little puppy?" He pinches his cheek, Baekhyun bites his hand softly as a warning. The man even brushes his hair to tame it down, with all the gentleness in the world, leaving kisses and warm whispers against luscious hair. He announces he's done with a gasp, "Fuck, love, you're so beautiful," Baekhyun looks down, "Stop..."  
The boy tries to cover his face by letting his long hair fall on his features, but Chanyeol's having none of it, he grabs his cheeks to keep his eyes on him, "So, so beautiful it's unfair to my heart,"

"You're so cheesy, god," Baekhyun laughs, a little embarrassed, his cheekbones are glowing even in the dim lighted room, "I'm telling the truth, you, in front of me like this, it's very unfair to my poor heart," Baekhyun rolls his eyes, bends down to attach his ear against the man's chest, not believing a word. He's stopped, out of breath.

Chanyeol's heart is really racing, in Baekhyun's ear, booms so loud his whole body is shaken by the rhythm of it. Baekhyun can't believe he's the one doing this. Has this power over Chanyeol. It scares him, gets him confused because all he's ever done to the man is hurt him.

Yet his heart is beating this fast for him. From seeing him only. Baekhyun also feels proud, of his Chanyeol, who's not afraid to be this sincere. He'd die before he does anything like this.

The boy clutches onto him so hard, as if trying to become one with the man. They end up making love, lazily and sloppy, more for the feel of each other than anything else. Until Baekhyun suggests they try what Chanyeol taught him on their first night again.

Despite the few hours he has, the sleep he gets is one of the best, Chanyeol's body so close to his, them intertwined, keeps him from waking up that often.

The next night he comes back home, straight into Chanyeol's arms, who doesn't question his actions, just plays his game. Baekhyun is quiet and he looks so drained of life, the man helps him get ready for bed as always, without much questions. Baekhyun's indifference still pains him. He barely gets 3 words out before the smaller passes out in his arms.

But through the night, the boy jumps, the first time is enough to wake Chanyeol, but he himself is not awake though. It takes more jumps. One is so aggressive Baekhyun gets up with a gasp, jumps from the bed in an instant. He looks around the room, breath ragged and eyes wild, it scares Chanyeol to no end. Baekhyun looks possessed, the man realises he's still sleeping, after he calls his name and the thin boy comes back again only at the fourth call, panting heavily, still looking around the room in a frantic manner. "Love, what happened?"

His air is just as scarce as Baekhyun's is, from the scare, the boy is still trying to focus, "I don't know, I-I don't remember," "Come here," Chanyeol opens his arms, and it's hell from there. Baekhyun only takes a step then he chokes, gasps from air, "Yeol, I can't breathe," He swallows, but in wain, Chanyeol is up from the bed like a flash, he goes to the panicking boy, "C-chanyeol, I have this feeling-" he tries to swallow continuously, but he can't get rid of the lump that's blocking his throat, Baekhyun gasps, and gasps, the sound hurting Chanyeol, "I f-feel like something bad is about to happen," Baekhyun grabs onto him, desperate, chocking more than before, on pure air, "Yeol, I can't breathe, I can't-" He's gasping on tears, and desperation, at this point, clutching Chanyeol's skin between his fingers, until he draws blood, "Help me, C-chanyeol, help, I can't breathe, help," he keeps repeating, weak and with his throat dry, and Chanyeol is left to watch in horror, he doesn't know what to do, so he acts by instinct, "Love, please," he stops his nails from scratching at his chest, trying to get inside, forces his chin to look up, "Breathe, it's just me here, breathe,"

He demonstrates it, inhales deeply then lets it go. Baekhyun tries to follow but the lump in his throat won't go down, "I-" he's hyperventilating, hands going for Chanyeol again but trembling too much for it, "I am afraid, help, Yeol, please help me," Chanyeol sighs, takes a hold of his hands to hold in his, "Love, close your eyes, there's nothing to be afraid of," Baekhyun's eyes clear for a second, he stops wheezing to look at Chanyeol who's gazing deeply into his eyes, he does. "Think of what makes you happy, come on, let's breathe together,

Baekhyun sobs, swallowing hard once again, then his hands calm down, they rest on Chanyeol's chest. The boy copies his breathing, until they're in sink.

"I..." He starts again, but he choughs at a bigger inhale, he has his hand pressing on his neck, Chanyeol replaces it to massage him softly, "I have this weird feeling, like something will happen, I f-feel like suffocating,"

"Nothing will happen, baby, it's gonna be alright," Chanyeol kisses his forehead, the boy sighs, "Can we go to the beach? Where we went the first time?"

"Like, now?" The boy nods timidly, "It's 3 in the morning and it's October Hyun, it's too cold,"

"Please, the walls are closing in on me,"

"Alright." Baekhyun has two sweaters and a winter coat on when they settle down on the sand. Chanyeol had only one coat, and it ended up on the smaller, despite the protests coming from his mouth. "We came exactly to this spot," the boy breathes out, taking in the sound of the sea, he can't hear much over the wind howling.

Chanyeol nods, a shiver escapes him without thinking, the smaller opens his coat and practically jumps on him, forcefully hides him in the enormous jacket too, "Love," he chuckles, circles Baekhyun's middle with his arms, "yes, I told you, I like to come here, it's calming," Baekhyun watches closely, the way the man moves his mouth, how it rounds the words, a smile appears on his face, "I thought you were lying..." He gets rid of his shoes, each one helped by the other to come off, plants his feet into the sand, Chanyeol remembers then, "You didn't forget,"

"No." Silence washes over them. Baekhyun's breath is still irregular, Chanyeol can hear him gulp from time to time, he's worried, but he doesn't want to break the peaceful setting that settled over them.

Baekhyun has his eyes closed, he seems somehow content, but every time Chanyeol moves his body goes hard again, afraid he'll leave. Chanyeol watched, watches the closed eyelids trembling under the wind, the furrowed brows he kisses better, he opens his mouth, lets out the first song that comes to his mouth, in the boy's ear, "You are my sunshine..." He goes on, and Baekhyun is listening so attentively, his heartbeat is in sync with Chanyeol's voice, who warms him even in the bitting wind. "Chanyeol," he interrupts the man,

"Yes, love?"

"If something happens-"

"No, stop," his hand comes up, pointer touching his lips tenderly, "don't give me this, please,"

"But I feel it!" Baekhyun exclaims, exhausted, "I feel- there's this weight in my chest, I don't know how to explain, but- I-I know-"

"Hyun, it's all in your head, I promise it is. Nothing will happen, you're safe at home with me,"

"B-but if it does," Chanyeol wants to squeeze the life out of him, just to get him to shut up, "I love you, I love you so much, Chanyeol,"

"Shut up, Hyun..."

"I never loved anyone like this before, I don't know if it's good, or bad, but I know it feels better than anything else, loving you."

"What are you saying?" Chanyeol chuckles, without any humor in it, tries to get Baekhyun to stop by nudging him with his head, "If something were to happen, I don't want you to doubt how much I loved you."

"Hyun-"

"I don't show it, I know, I give you hard days most of the time, and you don't deserve something like this,"

"Baekhyun, seriously, you're scaring me," But the smaller is set on finishing what's on his mind, "but I want you to know that I'm giving my best at loving you, I really want to be good, for you..."  
Chanyeol pecks his lips, desperate, "Please stop saying this like it's a goodbye, we're not going anywhere love," Baekhyun licks his lips, "Yeah..."

The smaller is still stubbornly deepening his feet in the sand, it gets him to shiver, the deepness is colder, Chanyeol slips the jacket from his shoulders, sticks his hands through the holes then steals Baekhyun's arms to get them there too, they both fit in, the smaller glued to his chest now, the man zips up the coat, they look like a barrel, but it's warmer, "Take your feet out, put them under you," Chanyeol instructs, and he does it without question, drags them under him. It uncomfortable as hell, but it's warm, Chanyeol's shiled. "If I could wake up tomorrow, and there'll be only me and you left..." He whispers the nonsense, whatever is on his mind, they wouldn't ever. Never restart this life, never meet again in another, but Baekhyun likes to fantasize. Chanyeol strong shoulder that catches his falling head encourages him, "I wish I could, Yeol," Chanyeol sighs, it's too much for him, to think about, to take, Baekhyun's sadness is overwhelming.

But he still kisses his temple, stills his lips there, "Don't say I like it's a goodbye, I won't let you go anywhere."

  
"Yeah, I know," Baekhyun's voice comes out weak, "I'm sorry I dragged you out so late," Chanyeol hums, "I'm worried for you though, you have work soon."

  
"I'll handle it,"

"The next time we go to the doctors, how about we do a full checkup?'' The bigger man asks, tone turning more serious.

"No I-" Chanyeol expected this, "I'll pay."

The smaller exhales, trapped, "I don't know..."

"Do it for me, please," He doesn't get verbal confirmation, but the boy turns around to catch his lips, he knows then.

Baekhyun puts so much longing into the kiss, it leaves the man with a sting on his chest. The position they're in is very uncomfortable for both, they stop for Baekhyun to turn around, regain his spot in the zipped up coat, now sitting in Chanyeol's lap. They look as if they're one. They feel it too. The next kiss is so long it leaves behind bruised lips, stinging and shiny, tired tongues, but never of each other, hopeful eyes. "My love," Chanyeol's words tickle his lips, pools warmth in his chest, "my pretty little love- all the things I'll do for you..."

"You don't have to do anything," Baekhyun kisses the roundness of his cheeks, "you've done enough for me."

"I'd do more, I'd do anything," Baekhyun's cheeks are in flames, "How did you end up-" he sighs, "how can someone like you be here with someone like me? You must've done something very bad in your last life to end up like this," Chanyeol bites his nose, softly, but with a stern look, "Sometimes, I want to kick your ass so badly Hyun," He wriggles his ass on him, but he's too exhausted to follow the action until the end, his laugh sounds forced and strained, "Go ahead, I'm speaking my mind,"

"Your mind is always against you," The boy chuckles, bitterly. It seems like it's the only laugh he gets right tonight.

"You're completely insane," Baekhyun speaks up 5 minutes into the silence, still left staring into Chanyeol's eyes even if their spell is broken, "I would've never come here, in the middle of the night, for anyone."

His eyes travel along Chanyeol's soft features, enamored, he can read the love in every curve of his face, "You're so beautiful, inside out," he kisses his nose, the chin trembling bashfully, closes the man's eyes one by one with his lips, lingers, to feel the way his eyelids shake too under his press, "So, so beautiful, Yeol," Chanyeol hums, in disapproval, "No one deserves you,"  
"I'm not, Hyun, I'm just treating you how everyone should."

"No, you-" Baekhyun falters, "you just-y-you're the reason...I still g-go on, Chanyeol,"

"Love-" "You really are, the only thing I'm looking forward to," Baekhyun speaks slowly, pours sincerity in every word, every look he shares with the man holding him, "I want to erase every bad thing that's ever happened to you, my little love," Chanyeol gruffs out, "It doesn't matter," Baekhyun shakes his head, stubbornly, "I only want you," It's so easy, he gets over it with faint blushes, small pauses, but he's still honest with Chanyeol, so honest he already regrets it, but it's only his Chanyeol.

Baekhyun's foolish, "Sometimes, I think of us running again, from everyone and everything."

"Baby..."

"Or just meeting in another life, us being the perfect couple, starting from zero," Chanyeol is doubtful, but he doesn't add on it. He's doubtful of Baekhyun's feelings if things were different, if they meet in other circumstances, where Chanyeol wouldn't be the only pillar for the boy's crumbling sanity, hope. Baekhyun looks too scared for him to disapprove though, he only kisses his slowly watering eyes, in return of the sweet kisses he got, "You don't have to think of what could have been, love, we can make it better from here."

"I feel spent," he pauses, then the nickname slips by, a little forced, hurting, he tries too much, but he feels like saying it in return, "love," he whispers, and Chanyeol's face lights up. He doesn't address anything else, as if the heavy mood never existed, "Find your own nickname, thief," he says, steals another kiss from a waiting Baekhyun.

Baekhyun's lip trembles, Chanyeol catches it with his, "No, no, no, I don't want to see you crying again," Baekhyun whines, the sound that comes out when he pushes down the sob, "I'm sorry,"

"The worst thing for me is ever hurting you, Hyun,"

"I'm sorry..."

"Stop, please," tears are already trailing down his cheeks, he doesn't notice but the man does, kisses the salty water away, "I'm s-sorry I don't know why I'm-" he shakes his tears on Chanyeol's cheeks, gaps, "I'm sorry, Yeol, I am-"

"No, don't cry, I hate it," Chanyeol pushes his forehead against his, "I can't take it," Baekhyun nods between short sighs, "Let's go home," Chanyeol'd do anything this boy asks. He gives Baekhyun a piggyback ride back to the car, it rips giggles out of him, combined with sobs, at times, when the laughter gets too much. "Can you kiss me?" Baekhyun asks in the car, eyes finally clearing, they lost the redness in them, now gaining hopeful sparks, "What's this question? Of course, come here," he opens his arms gladly, Baekhyun has his lip between his teeth, almost shy, "Kiss me a lot, please,"  
"Anything you want," brushes his lips before they're swallowed by a pair of softer ones, they melt his insides.

A lot turns out to be only five minutes after they get home. Chanyeol feels it, how Baekhyun's jaw goes slack, his tongue hidding, the boy's body slumps on him, then he's left with a heavy clothed, stubborn kid, that won't admit defeat, "Tomorrow, love, we have tomorrow too."

Baekhyun whines, on his back in bed, fighting with his eyes to leave him see the man above him a little bit more, "Tomorrow is too far away," he grumbles, half coherent, Chanyeol chuckles before bopping his scrunching nose, "Come pick me up from work," he says with the determination of a child, but the man's apologetic expression demolishes it, "I have something to do tomorrow, actually, I'll come after you,"

"Take me with you!"

"I can't baby, I'm leaving early." Why is he so dependent? He doesn't know. Maybe if he did his lip wouldn't be trembling right now, "Are you leaving me alone?"

"No, love, you can take my phone and call Sehun when you're done, we'll talk until you get home so you won't be alone," Chanyeol explains, but he doesn't process much after the name. It's irrational, but he gets so jealous because Sehun gets to spend the time he should be spending with Chanyeol. He hates Sehun in this moment, "Okay, whatever,"

"Hyun, come on-"

"I said okay, let's just sleep already," Baekhyun snaps a little too hard at the man who never does anything to deserve it, he hears him sigh, "I love you,"

"I-" Baekhyun keeps trying to run away from him, the man's grip on his hips pulls him back against his chest, "I love you too," it's all it takes for the boy to tangle his legs between Chanyeol's, make himself small for the bigger body to hold effortlessly.

  
It's morning too fast, of course, it is when his alarm said one hour left before he closed his eyes earlier. Chanyeol doesn't even bulge when he untangles the grip he has on him, even when the boy kisses his pouty lips. Baekhyun leaves breakfast, because his Chanyeol deserves it. The man keeps his promise, just as Baekhyun keeps his when he takes the phone. The boy gets startled, never planing to actually call the man, but his phone rings when he's halfway home. They barely hear each other, Chanyeol has faint shouts and gunshots in the background, Baekhyun is close to tears with every sudden sound, but Chanyeol insists on keeping him on the phone until he's back, "If you don't come back to me I'll murder you, Chanyeol," the boy threatens through his teeth, but is met with laughter, "I will, you won't get rid of me that easily lo-" then he's interrupted, by a closer shouting, directed at him. Baekhyun registers a "fuck".

"Baby, I have to take care of something, how much do you have left?"

"I-i'm inside," Baekhyun is panicking, breath messing with him, "what? Yeol? Take care of what?" Chanyeol is already talking to someone else, "Please stay with m-me,"

"Love you, see you at home." is rushed out, then the call disconnects.

The feeling is back again, stronger, Baekhyun is left pacing the floors with tears stricken cheeks that don't bother him anymore and two pets following his every move. His gut is telling him that something bad is happening, and he tries very hard not to listen. Eventually he ends up in the closet, hidden, dressed up in Chanyeol's clothes and smelling the lilac scented garments, to get his breath under control again. He feels, looks, knows he is, pathetic. He falls asleep in there, rocking back and forth with a hoodie Chanyeol usually wears held tight against his chest.

When he comes home to find it empty, Chanyeol doesn't know what to do. His little love is not in the bedroom, not in the bathroom either, not hidden in the kitchen, the living room seems deserted too. He's close to ripping his hair out, no phone on him to call for help, no clue of what happened to the boy when he should be home like he said he was. At this point, his heart is the only thing he can hear, as he's standing on the bed with his head in his hands, he registers the scratching sound from Toben too late, when his head shots up with an idea to find Baekhyun. The dog is scratching at the wardrobe room, insistently. Chanyeol opens it with his breath held.

And there he is, Baekhyun sleeping in the most uncomfortable position, covered in his clothes. The man would've laughed if the panic didn't give him the worst nausea. Chanyeol bends down to touch the smaller's face, kiss his forehead, "My little beauty, what are you doing here?"

The boy's eyes open slowly, then he jumps so hard he ends up hitting his head against the hard surface once he realises there's a hand touching him, "Love, it's me," Chanyeol whispers, his hand keeps on trembling against the warm face, and the boy looks confused, at first, then he's not anymore, shakes his head, throwing every bad thought away then his body, in Chanyeol's arms. "You're back!"  
"I...?" Chanyeol picks him up in his arms, he sounds confused, "Didn't I tell you so?"

"I was so scared, fuck you!" Baekhyun is hitting his chest with held tight fists, and the man is just holding him through it, with guilty eyes, "There's nothing to be scared about, love,I promise,"

"Hold me tighter," Baekhyun says, before anything, all his worries flying out the window with Chanyeol's warm breath caressing his face, his hands warming him up, although the man is the one needing it. Baekhyun is selfish like that.

Chanyeol pushes out the last breath that was making his throat ache, "Please don't disappear like this again," Baekhyun nods, steals a glance at the man to meet his miserable expression. His brow is scratched, a bruise on the corner of his mouth is there to complete the look, but his tired eyes finish the whole picture. Baekhyun pecks his mouth gently, "What did you do, Yeol..." "It's nothing." He's kissed back, Baekhyun clings on to him, "Who did this?" He asks, tone cold when he skips his eyes over the fresh bruises again,

"Some guy, it's really not important, love," Chanyeol tries to reason, kisses him to distract him again, but Baekhyun's not having it, he pulls his head back,"Where is he now?"

"In a ditch, probably, I don't care Hyun, can we just-" Baekhyun's smirk is chilling, a little proud, "Good."

Chanyeol laughs, low and short, "You know, sometimes you have this look in your eyes like..."

"Like?" Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, truly curious as the man lands his feet on the ground again. The taller shakes his head, "Nevermind, it's nothing," he kisses the expecting boy.

"Noooo, tell me!" He insists, pouting, whining, Chanyeol swallows them all, "I'm injured and in need of my personal nurse, pwease," Chanyeol ignores his complains, acts like he's dying instead, with his hand clutching his chest, "help, nurse Byun, I think only your sweet kisses can make it better!"

"How about a kick in the balls?" The smaller replies, still pouting, it makes the man shiver, "Just say you want me dead," Chanyeol cries, wiping away fake tears, something in Baekhyun changes, he attacks the corner of his mouth not injured more fiercely, "Never," he grits out, walks towards the bed with Chanyeol backing down until he hits it, gently pushes the man on it, "I want you in every way possible, but not like that," He drops to his knees, begins to take the man's pants of bit by bit, "I'm going to get the supplies," he's out the door and back so fast, with everything in hand, drops between Chanyeol's legs again now that the man is sitting upright, a little hunched for Baekhyun to reach.

He looks so vulnerable on his knees, with his eyes risen up, on Chanyeol's face as he dabs on it but mind far away. It's almost as if Chanyeol can read it, "It's nothing love, stop worrying about it, I'm fine now," He looks taken aback, because he can swear he didn't utter a word, "I got so scared too, when I came back and you weren't here, I thought I'd go crazy," Chanyeol continues, studying how Baekhyun's eyes shake with unspoken emotion, "but it's alright now, you're here, I'm here, let's leave it all behind,"  
"I love you so much, Chanyeol,"

"I love you so much too, you have no idea." The man sticks out a hand, and Baekhyun takes it, it's inviting him on Chanyeol's lap, from there they end up with Chanyeol on his back, Baekhyun close against his chest, rocking softly, until they both fall asleep like this. Their pets taking the pillow spot for once.

Chanyeol wakes up. Is woken up, by wetness on his cock. He can't even open his eyes fully, hit by the light, but he knows that mouth, that feeling, every bit of it, this little devil. "Hyun wha-ah, what are you doing?" The boy is sucking on his head, Chanyeol's toes curl, he lowers his eyes, meeting with the ones who are already waiting for him.  
So big and innocent, so eager to please, he gives Chanyeol 3 seconds to breathe, "Wishing you a good morning, what else?" He smiles, all teeth, then his mouth is back to warming him up, takes more and more until his nose is almost touching the hair hidding on the man's lower stomach,

"Fuck, Baekhyun, you're gonna kill me." He's so deep in his throat he can feel every swallow the boy takes, and there's plenty of them, hugging him so tightly.

His hips shot up unexpectedly, the boy coughs only a little, but there's tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "Love, get off, you don't have to do this," Chanyeol tries, but his voice is weak. He manages to untangle Baekhyun from him just enough for the boy to whisper, sinfully offering, "Fuck my mouth,"  
"W-what?" He doesn't say another word, takes Chanyeol who's twitching back in his mouth, bobs his head until he has him all in again. Chanyeol brings a shaky hand to his hair, doesn't grip, only caresses, the boy gives a approving hum, to which Chanyeol's body jerks again. Baekhyun is waiting, with the same innocent eyes. Chanyeol could come just from this, but he wants more, he's been given permission to do more.

He starts slow, with unsure thrusts, but they end up into a fast pace that fills the room with gagging sounds. Baekhyun has tears running down his pretty face, but every time the man tries to pull away he only lowers himself more.  
Chanyeol tries not to think of how Baekhyun got rid of his gag reflex. "You're... y-you're too good to be t-true," Chanyeol says between low gasps, getting more frequent as his hips snap harder, "I'm going to..." he has his head thrown back, words forgotten as he's too busy searching for his release.  
Baekhyun helps when he's too gone to keep up a rhythm anymore, does all the work with his mouth ready to taste more of him, wide open, he catches everything with a shy smile. Chanyeol can't believe he has the audacity to be shy after he leaves him panting, trembling on his bed, their bed.

"Was I good?" He's on his knees, wiping gently at his mouth, Chanyeol believes he's just fucking with him at this point. "You're the best, love," His mouth is saying ahead of him. Even if he wasn't, he can't remember anything else before Baekhyun, mind full of the boy, everything he does feels like the first time. Everything better, now that Baekhyun does it. "Oh, shut up," he hides his face behind long hair as he gets up from the bed. But the praise settles good on his ever criticizing mind.

"Good morning indeed," Chanyeol smiles sheepishly, follows Baekhyun with his eyes as he skips around the room. Then he remembers, "Love, I have to tell you something, but please don't get mad," Baekhyun drops everything he was holding, a question ready on the tip of his tongue "are you kicking me out" he wants to say, but he's learnt not to rush. "What?"

"No, don't look so scared, please," the taller rushes to him with wobbly feet, "don't frown baby," he kisses his brow.

"I have to go fix something again tonight, and I can't take you with me because I'm leaving early," Baekhyun feels so betrayed. He just keeps frowning, "I see," "Please don't be mad at me, we can talk on the phone again, I really have to go,"  
"Okay,"

"Love..."

"I said okay," Chanyeol kisses him against the door until he gets him sighing softly, but he still has that little pout on, that masked irritation.

"We can do anything you want when I come back, I promise," Baekhyun nods, "Let's go on a midnight drive, I want to see the stars," "Anything you want, love."

"Please stay safe," Chanyeol seals the deal with 5 pecks, for his eyes, his forehead, his nose, his chin, his lips. Goodbye is too hard this time. Chanyeol comes to see him before he officially leaves too, in the afternoon, and it's even harder, knowing midnight is so far away.  
But Baekhyun manages. He promises himself to stay away from Chanyeol's phone, thrown away in his bag, still ashamed from last night's breakdown over a thing so silly. He keeps the man in his mind, to make it easier to skin through the day. Their promise is making him giddy with anticipation.


	4. there is a dazzling light

• • • • • •

**trigger warning for graphic rape and violence**

But at night, when he's walking down the street, almost one minute before he makes it, a car pulls up next to him, and it's not his Chanyeol. He knows this car, a little too well, from all the times he's found himself locked in it. Dongjun gets out with the sweetest smile, Baekhyun wants to run, but doesn't know where. "Baby, here you are!"

Dongjun is on him too fast, or was it slow? Is it his body that froze? He doesn't know, doesn't register anything around him, just the grip on his arm, "Where are you going? Let me drive you home," He looks left, right. If he runs to Chanyeol's place, the officer will know, if he doesn't, the officer will catch him. But isn't he already caught?

"I'm going to my f-friend,"

"You're not anymore, come on." The cop easily drags him in the car where he is roughly pushed in, and the look he given to him after the man throws his bag to the bag seat says it all, he's pissed. The car doors click. "Nice clothes, a little too big for you though." Dongjun comments, it seems conversationally, but it really is not, he's wearing Chanyeol's clothes, smells like Chanyeol. The officer felt it too. "I can't wait to get home baby, I missed you so much!"

He can still jump out of the car, only if his body didn't feel like stone. He whishes he did, later when he's slammed against the shut door, he really wishes the man didn't frighten him so much. Dongjun delivers a punch right to his gut, bangs his head on the hard surface again, "Who is it, whore? **Who**?"

"W-what are you talking about?"

"Tell me, you fucking slut, I'll kill you both!" Dongjun is shaking him, every push sending the back of his head straight to the door, but Baekhyun still tries to feign innocence, "I-i don't know what you're talking about you-you're hurting me, let go!

This is all it takes for Dongjun to go feral, "Oh, I will Baekhyunee, I will," the man takes a hold of his face, roughly tugging on it to both sides, "I warned you, my Baekhyunee, I fucking warned you!"

"Dongj-"

"**YOU LYING WHORE**!" A slap lands on one of his cheeks, so powerful Baekhyun's legs give out, but the man's hold on his neck is there to keep him straight. The air leaves Baekhyun. "His smell is all over you, you disgusting piece of shit," Baekhyun can't get an answer out, the grip on his neck is too tight, "after everything I did for you..."

He tries really hard though, fights the unwavering grip with his trembling hands, "P-please..."

"After how much I loved you, you go and cheat on me..." Dongjun spits on his face, he keeps his eyes shut tight, "are you that desperate for cock, slut?!" He shakes him, until Baekhyun is wheezing, trying to shake his head, "Answer me!" He lets go of him just to slap him again, "I did everything for you! EVERYTHING!

The room is so dark, the electricity cut off, but he can see Dongjun's dark eyes clearly, anything else it's pitch black, he just hears a gun click, then it's pressed to his crotch. Baekhyun didn't realise how much he's shaking until this moment, "Maybe I should kill you right here, for hurting me so much. How would you like that?" He's acting by instinct, fingers searching for the door knob blindly, not finding anything. Dongjun watches amused, mockingly, until he's not anymore, he gets angry, "Fucking stop!"

Then the gun collides with his face, so hard he doesn't know when he lands on the floor, just knows that his head is ringing, his whole body is crying out. Dongjun climbs above him, takes a hold of his hair to tilt his head back, "You think you can escape me, slut?"

"Listen to me, l'll do whatever I want with you and no one will know," he whispers in his ear, it's disgusting, the boy under him wants to throw up, his body is not listening to him anymore though, "No..." The air has left him, words too, with Dongjun above him, crushing.

Baekhyun tries to crawl on the floor, to run, he knows his place even in the dark, but the man laughs at his attempt, drags him back by the leg, just to punch him again, on his sides. Baekhyun cries out, crawls away again, with no power to stand up.

"Please..." He cries out as Dongjun takes a hold of him again, steps on his fingers with the heavy boots he's wearing until they crack. It rips cry after cry out of Baekhyun. "Please what, Baekhyunee?"

"P-please,"

"Stop fucking begging! You did this! You did this to me!" A weight is added on his back again, Baekhyun is sobbing, clutching his hand, his stomach, his dripping nose, "Wasn't I good enough, you whore? How many dicks do you need?" Material is ruffling behind him, "You broke my heart, Hyunee..."

Baekhyun tries to fight him off, with his feet and fists, even when his pants are ripped off him, even when the man has the gun pointed at his neck, he tries the hardest, until the back of his neck is hit with the cold handle of the gun and all fight leaves him. Dongjun doesn't. He's entered forcefully, with Dongjun's sick laugh ringing in his ears, "Yes, slut, scream for me, you love this, don't you?" Every times he's shaken ends up in a long, pained cry, Baekhyun shakes his head rapidly but the man pushes it on the floor, he can't feel his nose anymore, can't breathe, every thrust is sending his body flying forward the door, he reaches his hand out enough to pound on it, but nothing happens, "Help!" His throat is dry and aching, Dongjun laugh in his face again, "Who would help you? No one cares about you! Didn't I tell you? I'm the only one who'll ever love you. Yet you went and cheated on me, you disgust me!" He keeps knocking on the door until the man starts fucking into him faster, until his own head reaches the wood, hits it repeatedly, "Knock one more time and I'll fucking break your hand."

He can't feel the other one. One is enough. He drops his head, defeated, lip trembling, tears streaming down and pooling on the dirty floor. "I'll make sure no one gets to fuck you ever again, Baekhyunee, if I can't have you no one will!" He is scared, a name so dear to him threatens to fall from his lips more than once. He's sure that if he called for him his Chanyeol would be here in a second, he will find a way. But he'd rather die than let Dongjun find out.

The officer only stops to reach for his belt, to turn a struggling Baekhyun on his back and tie his hands above his head. The boy sees how pleasure rushes to his sick mind at the sight of him, bloodied and scared, "Tell me how much you love my cock!" He picks up again, when Baekhyun never stopped his crying, "N-n-no,"

"Do it!"

"Ple-ase stop, p-please..."

"Shut the fuck up! You don't want me to stop, I know you want more, slut, you always want more,"

"P-please..." Dongjun's hand finds its way back to the front of his neck again.

"Please..." He chokes, barely a whisper, eyes going to the back of his head, the man pressed even harder, "Pl-" then he's out of consciousness, on and off. Whenever he wakes up, the man is still diving into him, muttering words his ears are ringing too much to catch, then he is out again, he feels at peace. Then woken up again, with his body numb, his feet numb from being spread for too long, everything is hurting in his mind, but not on his body anymore. It feels like he's in hell, never ending, the same whenever he comes back to his senses.

**end**

Then it stops, he doesn't wake up anymore, left in a slumber that feel like reality, alone, on the cold floor, trembling and scared, or is he really conscious? He doesn't register anything anymore, everything seems far away. One thing he remembers, awake and in dream, Dongjun's words before he left, "You, you are a whore, that's all you're ever going to be. You went out looking to get fucked, you always do this, you lying whore, and you picked the wrong guy,"

''Look what he did to you, you got what you deserve, aren't you happy now? Slut? You hear me? That's what happened tonight, you cheating whore, that's all everyone will know, so you better keep your mouth shut, you understand?"

He did, he understood very clear. Baekhyun never prayed for anything as much as he prayed to not wake up tomorrow.

• • • • • •

Chanyeol is riding the police car when Dongjun asks everyone not to pick any call from a area he knows well, Baekhyun's area. This, and the boy not answering even his 5th call. His heart raises in his throat, threatens to jump out and leave him as he's running the fastest, drops whenever they were going to, gets his car and speeds past the limit to Baekhyun's old place. His mind already has the worst scenarios, he skips three steps at a time. Praying, praying and praying, for his little love to be safe at home waiting for him, for all of this to be just a cruel joke, from a cruel man. His hopes all drop, as well as his heart, scattered, on the floor, when he opens the door. It's pitch black, but the hall lightens the place just a little, enough to see the figure laying on the floor, looking lifeless.

For a second, he really thinks the boy is dead. He looks like it, too pale, skin leaning towards blue, Chanyeol drops on his knees with a shaky breath, he remembers to exhale, "H-hyun..."

The boy's eyes snap open, he tries to crawl on the floor, with one hand, in a daze, not knowing where to scatter to, Chanyeol wants to cry, "It's me, love, it's just me," Baekhyun drops back on the floor with a thud, turns his head away, "Please leave me alone..."

"I-I don't know what to do," he reaches out to touch the boy where he doesn't look as bruised, the skin is cold, and he's trembling, "We have to go to the hospital," He decides, and Baekhyun's expression changes into pure horror, "I can't, no!"

"Hyun, you're-" he scans his whole body, too afraid to do it until now, "you're hurt, I don't know what to do, please let's go," he comes forward on his knees, with careful steps, Baekhyun doesn't run this time, "I don't want to, leave me here,"

"What are you saying?" Baekhyun raises his[.](https://twitter.com/61ablazefairy4/status/1164702652640518146)face from the floor, he looks gone, no soul to accompany his worn out body, "I want to die. I want to stay here and die."

Chanyeol is determined, "I'm taking you home," he gets up, and Baekhyun gets little protest out of his weak mouth. The man doesn't find any clothing left here to cover the boy, he strips his own long coat to wrap him up,

"Can you stand up?"

"I can't feel anything,"

Chanyeol tries to step closer, Baekhyun shrugs more on himself, as best as he can, ''Don't touch me,''

''Baby, let me carry you,''

''Don't...'' he tries to stand up on his own, pushes himself up enough for the fall back down to be painful, he swallows his cry, but the man still gets by his side in a second, ''DON'T!'' he shakes himself out of the hold, but it ends in high whimpers that get him to shut up. ''Baekhyun, stop...'' he does, it's too late anyway, Chanyeol's cloth touched him, his hands too, wet with the cum on his back, the boy wants to throw up, Chanyeol only holds him closer, ''I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,'' Baekhyun keeps his mouth shut, eyes closed, ''Pick up my backpack,'' he says. He's fought with everything he had to keep everything about Chanyeol a secret, including his phone.

The man doesn't question him, he can't wait to get out of this place, the smell is clogging his lungs. The more they walk towards the lit street outside, the more dread he feels at the glances he's stealing at Baekhyun. The boy is sitting lifelessly against his chest, with his head on his shoulder, Chanyeol has to listen closely to make out his breath. It's so hard to place him in the seat, when every part he tries to settle him in brings another weep, "I'm so sorry love," Chanyeol has to leave him from his arms, with a heavy heart, Baekhyun won't speak to him no matter what.

Head bowed down, the man thinks he's asleep, but it only takes one glance outside for the boy, then he's grunting, dead serious, ''If you take me to the hospital I promise I'll jump out of the fucking car before we get there,'' then he's back to the previous position, back to ignoring Chanyeol, and every attempt to comfort him. The car takes a sudden turn, Chanyeol's plans canceled. Slowly, the adrenaline leaves his body. The gravity of the situation settles in for Chanyeol, who had only acted on the instinct to protect the smaller until now. A stolen look at the frail body curled in his seat and sniffling fills the inside of the car, louder without any music to distract them.

"Stop..." Baekhyun murmurs, and Chanyeol really tries to hold it in for him, only to burst again more painfully, "I'm sorry," he keeps whispering, blindly reaching out for a hand that's hidden, but Baekhyun doesn't spare him any attention.

The stubborn boy tries to get out on his own when the car stills, of course his legs give out, but Chanyeol is there to catch him, catch the angry fists, frustrated, scratching at his chest too,

"I hate you, I hate you so much, just let me go!"

Chanyeol pauses, takes a deep breath, looks around at the base of the stairs then his eyes come back to Baekhyun, "Never."

Then they're finally inside, the light hits the man's eyes after so long without it and he's left stunned, at the body on his bed. Without thinking, a new set of tears flow down, he's afraid to take off the coat for further inspection, not like Baekhyun would let him anyway, "Hyun, I need to clean you up," he steps closer, the boy keeps his head turned, "Can I?"

"I can do it," Chanyeol fights the disbelieving snort ready to escape, "Baekhyun..." His eyes rush to his hands, one has fingers standing in an odd way, not moving. They're bruised and bloody, his pretty fingers.

Chanyeol decides then, giving Baekhyun an option is not an option. The boy will always choose what's worst for him. So he does it, steals the cloth from his body, Baekhyun looks betrayed, but it passes to ashamed. The brunet fixes his eyes on the ceiling, with no power left in his limbs to run away anymore. Chanyeol leaves to get the first aid kit and everything he can find useful, but it's not much, he's no doctor. He climbs on the bed, and Baekhyun tries to turn away, "Love, believe me, I don't know what to do..." he says to the bruised face that barely resembles his beautiful little love, and it twists away from him even more, "Why can't we go to the hospital?" Chanyeol asks, truly confused, as he reaches out a hand to take out messy hair from warm blood, "What did he do to you..." He mutters, but Baekhyun catches it, his eyes are hateful, "And tell them what?! I have no explanation for this, Chanyeol, they're gonna report it, he's gonna find out!" He tries his best to shout, but it takes his breath away, "They know my dad, they know me, I can't."

Chanyeol tries really hard not to get mad at the boy, to keep his tone calm, "Fuck him, fuck everyone! I will kill him for what he did," he grits out, "How can you still think about others when you're like this?" Baekhyun doesn't answer for a while, even if Chanyeol waits, doesn't look his way, doesn't even move. "Don't kill him."

"What?"

"Don't kill him-"

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Don't leave anymore, stay here with me," The taller's eyes soften, his hand barely brushes over the boy's forehead, afraid. Baekhyun only feels the warmth of his skin. With a sigh, Chanyeol gets to work, cleans the boy's face until he has more than half the tissues he brought turned red. His nose is especially resistant, with dry and fresh liquid combined. "I-i don't know if it's broken, can I check?"

"I'm not fucking glass, if you want to touch me just do it," the boy feels useless, he can't even express his anger the way he'd want to. They remain in silence, Chanyeol has his breath held, Baekhyun wants to shout at him for all the delicacy he's showing, when he doesn't even deserve to stay on his bed, dirty like he is. Chanyeol drops to his neck, finds it bruised, no longer honey skin, now it has long prints on each side, and his lips tremble.

He realizes he never fully stopped crying when he gets lower, or when he turns Baekhyun around, to lay on his front, with much protest and many hateful grunts coming from the smaller, who can't do much besides it, although he'd like to stop feeling so useless.

No, what lays ahead of him now truly makes bile rise in his throat, which he has to keep down in front of Baekhyun's already fragile state of mind. He's afraid to touch, the pads of his fingers barely trace his hips, who are also covered in bruised, in the form of fingers, Chanyeol doesn't want to think, to imagine. He just rubs the ointment used for the boy's neck there, with as much care as he can summon. His lips are tingling to touch, to smoother, to comfort, but this kind of comfort is not the one Baekhyun is needing right now, he knows, he knows that one wrong word, one wrong action, can close off Baekhyun's relaxed body again. How can Chanyeol erase the ugly marks staring back at him? He wishes he knew. No, if he could erase anything, it would be Baekhyun's pain, Baekhyun's body twitching, or the whimpers he's muffling in his pillow. The shock is passing and only pain remains, catching up with him.

''Chanyeol, can I have some painkillers?'' Baekhyun starts, words drowned by the pillow, or his gritting teeth, ''Only once, p-please,'' Normally, he wouldn't, when he's fought so much against it, but one look down, at his behind, which has more than bruises,

Chanyeol nods, a little unsure, ''I...I'm not a doctor Hyun, I don't know if anything I'm doing is right,'' Baekhyun snaps his head around, believing he heard wrong the first time, ''Fuck the doctor, give me the pills,''

Then Chanyeol remembers, he still has some fentanyl patches Sehun brought over, thrown in the bathroom cabinet, he brings one to Baekhyun, who is questioning his actions silently. He's not so silent when Chanyeol retakes his position on the bed with a sigh and tries to spread his cheeks to examine, his legs close in a second, but they can't stay like this for long, the worn out muscles are shaking his whole body, "You don't have to do this," the boy says, hidding his face again, "Please don't look at me like this..."

His hand is burning from neglect, he wants to feel his little lover, so frail and so broken in front of him, where he can't do anything, not even mend the damage. It ends up on his hair, to caress gently, he's not pushed away, "I've seen every part of you, darling, I don't care."

"But not like this," Yes, he is forcing himself to look at what's in front of him, but not because of what Baekhyun thinks, it's purely his guilt, and his heart aching because his Baekhyun never deserved this.

"We will get over this, I promise," He's expecting, the we thrown in experimentally, but it's ignored completely, "Promise me that no matter what you won't take me to the hospital,"

"What?"

"Promise!" He does, even if he's not sure of why he did. It's the last time he hears Baekhyun speak.

He doesn't utter a word when he cleans the dried blood in the form of scratches on his bottom, not when he gets to what's in between. Chanyeol wants to lay down and cry for what the officer did to him. Baekhyun let's him clean him up, treat the open wounds as best as he can, Chanyeol is grateful for it.

He realises it's serious when the boy won't answer to any of his calls, just complies to his every request like a lifeless doll, he's not so grateful anymore. He comes back to his hands, notices the cuts and bruises, the red skin on his wrists for the first time, attacks it with cream until they're fully covered and not mocking Chanyeol with their colour. Then his hand. Baekhyun has the prettiest hands, prettiest he's ever seen, it hurts so much to see one of them ruined like this, "What did he do..." Chanyeol takes it towards him gently, Baekhyun won't say a word anyway. He has one split nail, bloody and painful looking. But then again, everything looks painful on him. His fingers aren't moving. "I don't know if it's broken," Chanyeol says more to himself, thinking out loud, "I have a splint left somewhere, wait," Baekhyun doesn't look at him, his heart aches, but he goes on just the same, with the same gentle touches, a lots of sorry to accompany them. He wishes Baekhyun would tell him if anything he's doing is right, how he feels.

He's done after what feels like ages, with the silence stretching between them, apart from Baekhyun's whimpers which he barely can conceal. The boy passes out, Chanyeol feels him go limp, his weight on the bed dipping, then he searches for the face he's been so adamant on hiding, he finds it looking less haunted. With a sigh, Chanyeol raises from the bed, wipes his wet face then covers the smaller's bare body with the soft blanket. It's so late, Chanyeol wants to drop on the bed next to the boy, but he fights against it.

He ends up on the couch, with barely 3 hours of sleep before he's up again. Baekhyun wakes up his already alert senses, with loud choughs and what Chanyeol makes out as grunts. He barely registers anything else, the chair he runs into while rushing to the boy's aid. The smaller is asleep, or he isn't, but he doesn't look conscious,

Chanyeol's eyebrows draw in a line while his hand reaches for Baekhyun's forehead. He's burning up. Suddenly, he's lost again, the air around them reminds him of the hospital room he's been left in once, "Love?" Chanyeol shakes him awake just a little, not actually shaking the hurt boy, he whispers against his closed eyelids, searches for an answer still full of hope. Baekhyun can't hear him.

Chanyeol finds himself sitting down next to the bed, at Baekhyun's head, with his elbows propped up on the bed for his hands to move freely on the boy's forehead, to arrange the wet towel on it. He keeps doing this until the sun is up in the sky, switches from changing the towel to fanning Baekhyun who's heat won't diminish. He stops when their pets come asking for food, that's the only moment he leaves his side, then when he's done with the needs he's ignored all morning he's back to Baekhyun's side, who hasn't moved at all. It's hell, it feels like it, dragging on, with him losing notion of time but knowing it passes too slow, he has the living proof of Baekhyun's form who's not getting any better. At least he has Baekhyun's good hand in his as a form of consolation.

Chanyeol thinks he's going insane. Waiting.

By the time the sun is setting he's chewed on his lips so hard he's tasting blood, eyes never leaving Baekhyun. He imagines the boy opening his eyes a few times, that's why when he actually does, he's a little slow with processing it, ''Hyun?'' the smaller stares back at him, confused, ''Thank God you're awake, I was so worried,'' He shots up, Baekhyun remains as confused as before, ''How are you feeling?'' his hand rushes to his forehead as he speaks, ''wait, I'm going to make you ginger tea, for the fever,''

Baekhyun opens his mouth, as in protest, Chanyeol already knows his facial expressions by heart, but it closes just the same. The boy tries to get up. ''No, no, what are you doing?''

"Bathroom," Baekhyun croaks out, then he's back to stubbornly trying to push himself up, but once he does a pained expression takes over, his hand rushes to his backside and he's falling on the bed the second after, "I'll take you, love, just ask me,"

He gets a glare as a response, Baekhyun stands up again, gritting his teeth so hard Chanyeol can hear, but he still pushes the man's helping hands away. He limps to the bathroom alone, leaving a hurt Chanyeol behind him. The man leaves when he hears the lock click.

The bathroom is unexpectedly empty, Baekhyun realises why later. Every sharp object, or anything that could /hurt/ has been removed. He snorts, Chanyeol is always so thoughtful. He comes back to the man holding a cup in his hands, he looks tired, and old, and miserable, Baekhyun did this to him, but he can't bring himself to be any other way. Not when he's drowning in shame, and pain with every move he makes, not when he wants nothing more than to bury himself in the covers and never wake up again, to see Chanyeol who he doesn't deserve. No, he can't talk to Chanyeol, when all that's on his tongue is guilt, he can't even look at him in the state he is.

"Hyun?" Chanyeol speaks up, unsure, Baekhyun is doing this to him and he hates himself for it, more than he hates the pain he feels in his body, "Take this, it'll get cold," he offers the cup of tea, which Baekhyun hates, but still takes. Chanyeol is waiting for some words from the smaller too, but they never come. Baekhyun is back on the bed, covered to his neck, with Chanyeol's eyes on him, he refuses to acknowledge, sips the horrible tea.

"Baby?" No answer. "Please talk to me,"

"Hyun?" Still nothing. "Love, please, did I do something wrong?"

Baekhyun sets the cup down, turns on his side with muffled gasps, nothing directed at Chanyeol, closes his eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise..." He's talking to himself, or so it seems, but Baekhyun's swallowing every word, "If I could erase everything I will, believe me."

The night passes slow, Chanyeol doesn't leave his side after he falls asleep, chin resting on his hand, afraid he'll come back to another fever episode. It doesn't happen, to his relief. In the morning he's anticipating the moment Baekhyun opens his eyes again. He has food ready, ready to feed the boy, all he has to do now is wake up. But what Baekhyun goes for when he's finally awake is the water he's brought, he gulps down everything, Chanyeol has to bring more. He watches the boy fondly, "You should eat something too," Baekhyun looks disgusted, his gaze drops to his caged hand, remembering the struggle in the bathroom, "I'll feed you, just lay back," He picks up a bowl from the bed drawer, looking sheepishly, "I made you chicken soup, I hope you like it," Baekhyun avoids his eyes when they come back to him, studies the full drawer as an excuse, it's full of clean bandages, meds, a tube of nitroglycerin, laxatives, the last two are making heat rise to his face, once again. Chanyeol observes his persistent gaze, follows it, "O-oh, yeah, we should take a warm bath after, I read somewhere that it helps," he scratches the back of his head with his free hand, waiting for any kind of approval from the smaller, "then we have to apply the cream again," he explains further. He's talking to Baekhyun as if he were a child, a stupid child, the "we" angers him so much he wants to throw the stupid soup in his face, to stop those eyes from looking at him so brightly.

"Here, hope it's good." the taller interrupts him, bringing the spoon to his lips. He complies easily. It is good, he closes his eyes, gulping through his aching throat, finally realises how hungry he actually is. Chanyeol takes the opportunity to study his face. The skin around his eye has turned purple, mixed with brown, now that it had time to settle in. But it's a good thing he can open it fully now. The the above his brow still looks fresh, ready to burst open again with the first occasion. And his lips, the prettiest lips, they already have fresh droplets of blood just from stretching for the spoon. Chanyeol reaches out to wipe it clean again, the boy opens his eyes, as if brought back. His eyes have something different in them, he's got eyelashes trembling at the sight of him. Chanyeol keeps his hand close to his face, and the boy nuzzles it with his cheek. The big palm covers all the purple on his skin, Baekhyun remains nestled there.

It's an uncomfortable position to eat like this, but they're both enjoying the touch. Chanyeol brings the bowl to the boy's lips, caresses his soft face with his thumb. It gets Baekhyun looking more and more vulnerable. "Love, why won't you talk to me?" Sorrow is swimming in his eyes, but he doesn't reply. Maybe they're enough of a reply. Chanyeol sets the empty bowl down. Moves on the bed until Baekhyun can bend his head and land with his forehead on his chest. He remains there as the man circles his shoulders with his arms, barely touching, "It's alright, I'll wait for you," he murmurs in his hair. This is the last thing Baekhyun wanted, holding him back more.

It's been so long since his bathtub has been filled, usually preferring to just use the showerhead. He does it now, prepares it for Baekhyun, checks the temperature thrice, even puts scented candles around it for the boy, before he goes back to bring him, finds him in the same position when he left, staring out the window. "Love?" He goes to him with open arms, "let me carry you, you've already used your legs too much," Baekhyun nods, still lost. His skin is sticky and dirty, from laying in bed for too long, Chanyeol doesn't seem to have any problem with it, with anything, he cradles Baekhyun against his chest, places him in the water through the latter's hissing. Baekhyun is expecting him to leave and close the door, but he takes a seat on the closed toilet lid, only watching him.

He'd feel shy, but after everything, he's been stripped of any dignity he had left.

Silence settles over them, only the splash of water left, Baekhyun uses only one hand and it causes the water to spill around more, until he hears Chanyeol ask, "Want me to help?" He doesn't nod, doesn't approve, but his hand stilling and going to rest on the bathtub edge is an answer too, he's waiting. Chanyeol gets rid of his clothes as fast as he can, "Raise a little, please," he asks as softly as he can, slips behind the smaller to embrace his body. The reaction is instant, Baekhyun falls back into his chest with a wince. His head drops back to rest on his shoulder as Chanyeol gets to work.

It's a little bit harder when his skin is underwater and he can't see, but the man's already memorized every bruise on his body. He avoids them, gently rubs every part of Baekhyun with his favourite scented soap, gets the boy switching between sighs and whimpers of pain. Then Baekhyun speaks up, with his voice rough from not being used, "Do you think we have a purpose here Yeol?" Chanyeol pauses, "Or...life was just an accident," he's almost whispering, as an afterthought, "and now we're following the course of nature,"

He doesn't know what he's talking about, it just comes out, Chanyeol must be confused too, laughing at the nonsense he's spluttering by now, "just like animals, big animal takes down the smaller one just because it can,"

Chanyeol is rubbing circles on his stomach with his palms, listening to everything the boy has to say, "Are we here just for this?"

He's talked about something like this before, about what power does to people, it feels familiar to his words then, he clears his throat, "I think we make our own purpose,"

"We get to decide what we want in our lives, even if it doesn't seem like it, it's never too late," Baekhyun is hanging on his every word, head turned to the side to watch the man as his mouth moves slowly,

"I think this is what life is about, discovering what fits best for us."

"What if I don't see myself doing anything?"

Chanyeol sighs, inspects his features fondly, with a small smile on his lips, "I think you need a new perspective,"

Baekhyun regrets ever opening his mouth to say such nonsense, but Chanyeol goes on, "We can leave this town, we can go to a different country if that's what you want, we can leave everything behind, anything you want, love," The words mouthed against his ear are rising his skin in sets of goosebumps, but he's regretful, "But I don't want anything...''

''I don't want to decide for you, but I'll do it if it's what it takes to have you next to me,'' his hand slides between his legs, careful fingers massaging back and forth, Baekhyun's breath hitches, ''Does it hurt as much as before?'' his hand remains ghosting above the puckered skin, shame makes Baekhyun swallow his words again. The boy just shakes his head, a little reluctant.

"Liar." Chanyeol chuckles against his hair, moves his hand up again, "Stop hiding from me, Hyun, I don't care about anything else, I only want you well," Baekhyun's thighs quiver under his hands, under the pressure of his words, he can't form any good answer, his mind is stuck on what he knows again. Chanyeol kisses his temple, doesn't dare go further, Baekhyun doesn't initiate anything either. The man missed his taste. He raises them both up when he deems it enough, the boy's skin scented and soft, Baekhyun is once again just like a doll, a stiff one, while Chanyeol covers him with the fluffiest towel he can find, takes him back on the bed and dries him one he's done with the water falling from his own body. Then he picks up the round cream, with his lip behind his teeth, worrying, "Can you turn around for a bit, please?"

Baekhyun goes with crimson cheeks which he hides, he doesn't want to upset the man further, so he muffles his whines and his shame in the pillows. Chanyeol spreads him carefully, afraid like it's the first time he's seeing Baekhyun. Red skin welcomes him, but it looks better than the first night. He dips his finger in the jelly cream, blows hot air on it before his fingers make contact with Baekhyun's skin, before Baekhyun answers to it with an embarrassed groan he hears even through the pillow, "It's okay love, relax..." Chanyeol begins to talk in order to keep him distracted, "I talked with your boss for you, told him you had an accident and you won't be able to work anymore," Baekhyun stiffens, "But you're still getting paid for the days worked this month, don't worry." Then he's back again. Chanyeol is done and the boy doesn't turn around to see him again, goes back to sleep like this. The man slowly leaves the room, it looks like they won't have any sudden problems anymore, the fever long gone.

Chanyeol spends the night on his couch again. Or he tries, but he can't get some sleep no matter what. Eventually, around morning, he goes back to Baekhyun, settles on the floor with his head rested on top of his and Baekhyun's hand intertwined, it's how he finally falls asleep. And it feels like he's got plenty of sleep when he opens his eyes again, compared to what he got in the last days. Even if he can't turn his head, or straighten his neck from the position he fell asleep in, the fingers carding through his hair feel like home, chase his longing away bit by bit. When Chanyeol raises his cranky neck Baekhyun is looking straight into his eyes. The man smiles with relief, even though the smaller remains unmoved.

''Love-'' his voice dies out in a whimper stuck in his throat, ''Hyun, hi,'' a stolen look at the clock at the bedside, it's late in the afternoon. ''Why didn't you wake me up?'' Baekhyun continues to massage his scalp, Chanyeol is almost tempted to go back to sleep again, almost. ''We have to eat something, baby-'' he makes to get up, feels every bit of the uncomfortable position he's been in. His bones crack, Baekhyun's brows look worried. ''I'll make something for the kids too, they must be starving,''

And really, if Chanyeol looking ravished and all tired, sleep still on his eyelids, eyes full of worry, talking about their pets as if they're their kids, as if everything is perfect around them, as if they're one happy family, isn't the purest image he's ever seen, Baekhyun doesn't know what is. His chest feels heavier than usual, but Chanyeol doesn't like to see him cry. Chanyeol doesn't like his silence either, but his words are all gone. He pushes up to his feet, in the end, ruffles his hair until it's back up from where Baekhyun has pushed it down, ''Do you want to come with me? You should be able to walk better now,'' Baekhyun nods, held back by his own shame, again. If his ass wasn't feeling like he's being skinned alive with every step he takes, he would be able to walk just fine. Chanyeol wouldn't have to see him pathetic and dirty like this.

Baekhyun tries to stand up, Chanyeol catches even the smallest grimace he tries to hide, comes with his hand forward in a second, ''Here, hold onto me.''

What a liar he is, because he ends up picking up Baekhyun's entire body. Steals a pillow on his way to seat the boy on it. Then he gets to work, moving around in the kitchen followed by Toben, too energic for Baekhyun to follow. His cat is seated in his lap, just like the old times, Mr Brown Paw seems to have a magic ability to detect whenever his owner is in pain. His cat has cuddled him to sleep in his worst nights, he does the same now.

The silence is too thick around them but Chanyeol takes care of it, ''Uh, I have to go grocery shopping,'' he says after taking out everything from the fridge, he smiles back at Baekhyun, ''Good thing you're not a picky eater.''

Baekhyun doesn't know what he's done to deserve Chanyeol, all of Chanyeol, when the man could have done better. Could be doing anything but this right now. If he knew how to leave after so long, he would. But Chanyeol is the clearest thing for him. Everything but the man is darkness. The crease between his eyebrows is calmed by the warm smiles Chanyeol keeps on giving, he's not fazed at all by Baekhyun's lack of response, ''You know, mom keeps insisting on me visiting, maybe we can go together, in the future.''

His eyes grow big, Chanyeol chuckles, as if he can read every thought of his, he says, "Yes, I told them about you, but don't worry, they're both nice people," Baekhyun hasn't had the best experience with parents. He used to, long ago, but the only thing he remembers now, the one that stuck with him, is how parents being a bitter taste in his mouth. A nice family seems foreign to him. "My dad has always been a soft man, too soft maybe," Chanyeol begins, it draws Baekhyun's attention to him, "they're happy with how little they got, simple people," It seems like Chanyeol really misses them, "They never wanted more though, never wanted to see beyond the country life, that's why I left when I was young," He leaves the pan on the stove and comes back to him, "My mom would love you, you two are very alike, actually,"

And Baekhyun is ready to burst into tears, just from that. He hasn't cried yet, for anything that happened, it seems like his tears are all spent. But he feels like it now, just thinking about Chanyeol's mother loving him. He doesn't know why. Maybe, he does, maybe it's just everything pilling up on him. Maybe, it's only his mother that never loved him enough to stay. How can anyone's mother do it? Chanyeol sees it. He stops talking, takes a seat next to Baekhyun but drags the chair closer. "We can go for my birthday, if you want," And with that he's finished, ends it with a blinding smile, although it looks a little forced. It must be the tiredness of dealing with Baekhyun getting to him. The smaller bows his head but searches for his hand. And clings hard, the only thing anchoring him in the present. Chanyeol caresses the hand offered to him, takes in the dejected boy in front of him fondly, even though he can't see. "After we eat maybe we can watch something? Or we can eat on the couch..."

He pauses slightly, if Baekhyun was looking he would've seen how unsure he actually is, but he goes on just as cheerful, "Yeah, let's do that, the chairs are uncomfortable." It goes more like Chanyeol feeds him then watches the movie alone, Baekhyun is out as soon as the plates are put on the table and he's rested against Chanyeol. He wakes up the next day remembering bits of what it seems like his slumber in the minutes he was awake before going back to Chanyeol's warm chest. This time, he is back in bed, and something is shuffling around, someone, Chanyeol. "Love," the man eyes his movement right away, "I'm going to get some food, the fridge is empty, then I have to get something done after."

Baekhyun panics, eyes darting from Chanyeol, to the door, to the ceiling, to Chanyeol back again, he doesn't know how to ask him to stay, "P-please don't leave," he manages to push out past his achy, dry throat, Chanyeol almost drops everything, but he has been absent from work enough, he's got people worried, he'll come back to Baekhyun as soon as he can. "Sehun is coming over so you won't be alone, baby, I promise I'll be fast," The name brings back old grudges, "N-no..."

Chanyeol smiles sadly, corners of his mouth just raising sightly, enough to form his dimple, for Baekhyun as assurances, "I'll get lots of food, I promise I'll make you your favourite," Baekhyun doesn't answer anymore, turned back on his side, Chanyeol knows it's time to go. Inevitably, the door opens again after Chanyeol is gone, barely 15 minutes pass, and the lock twists, Baekhyun has his ears perched up for everything, slippers echo in the empty apartment, then Toben whines, then barks, Baekhyun hopes to avoid him by hiding under the blankets, but the annoying voice echoes just the same, "Hello, company is here," It sounds too merry to be coming from the face he knows to be always scornful, it sounds fake. "Come on, at least greet me, I came all the way here," there it goes, the pout in his voice is back. Baekhyun gets up slowly, with no will to do so, until he's resting against the headboard, "Damn, he got you good huh?"

He's plainly studying his face, at least he has the decency to stop joking now, Baekhyun turns his face again, hiding again. "You can go, I don't need a babysitter," he doesn't try to mask the hostility towards the other, Sehun knows about it already.

The boy chuckles, unamused, "I'm here because he doesn't trust you alone, I hope you know that." He does, but it still hurts being told like this. Chanyeol is always so gentle, no word of his would hurt like this.

"What? You suddenly don't know how to talk back?" He doesn't want to, because saying Sehun is right is something he'll never do. "Come get some air on the balcony, you're too pale," Is he? He still has to look at his reflection, he's been avoiding it ever since Chanyeol brought him back, but he misses fresh air, that's why he pushes up, fighting with the groans hidden behind his teeth. Sehun avoids looking directly at him, he's still partly naked, he goes straight to the balcony and waits there until Baekhyun comes with a layer of clothes and Chanyeol's big coat to keep close.

"How's your hand?" Takes him out of looking over the railing, down at the people passing. The outside world seems just the same. For him everything stopped, but who is he, in a world so big? Baekhyun looks down at his now bandaged hand, wriggles his fingers to show Sehun, "Better now, it was just bruised but Yeol took care of it," Sehun nods, studies him strangely, "He was so worried about it, he still thinks he's done it wrong," Baekhyun huffs, surprised, "He told you this?"

A wave of something that feels like betrayal passes his chest, invades his heart, Sehun nods again, then he sighs, "Baekhyun, I'm gonna be honest with you,"

It already doesn't sound good, Sehun's solemn expression doesn't look good either, "No offense," he starts, "actually, I don't care but what I'm about to say isn't gonna be nice," Baekhyun looks ahead, but takes every single word in.

"You really don't deserve Chanyeol, I wish he could see it too but he's too blinded by...whatever he sees in you to notice," And when the words come, Baekhyun freezes, he whishes he could make his ears stop working,

He loves you so much, Baekhyun, and you're taking advantage of it. I wish with all my heart that you two never met because all he does is suffer from doubting himself so much." There's no malice in his voice, or his eyes, only his words that seem to much like the truth, Baekhyun knew all along, but Chanyeol always seemed so perfect, he never stopped to consider the man and his feelings too.

Sehun chuckles bitterly, "He doesn't tell me everything, he won't tell you either but I know him and his soft heart." They go silent, the boy leaves him time to tame his trembling lip, "When I saw him this morning I wanted to kill you, he looks like he hadn't slept in weeks!"

Sehun studies him again, he's observing his reaction, how he's almost in tears but stubbornly tries to keep it in, "And I know, you got it bad too but it's not Chanyeol's fault, let him help you because that's all he wants, Baekhyun,"

Baekhyun nods, eyes red but mind set, Sehun has a few more words left, "I'm serious, please stop hurting my best friend, he's all I have and I love him so much."

"Sehun-"

"He'll only listen to you, no matter how hard I try, please start treating him the way he deserves,"

"Sehun, I promise." And that's how their bond starts, strangely. "Good."

All the hatred between them slowly evaporates from there, because it seems that now they have some common ground. It starts with Baekhyun asking what he usually does for the gang, then Sehun breaks into a one hour long story, about drugs and the history of them, murders described in detail from which Baekhyun surprisingly doesn't shy away, at all. Baekhyun has a lot of questions, he's only interrupted by the third person joining them on the balcony.

"What are you two gossiping about?" There he is, Chanyeol, with a charming smile on, looking healthier than he's seen him in days, his cheeks are red with the cold air and his nose is shining, rivaling his teeth. "You, obviously," Sehun rolls his eyes, "Oh no that's not a good thing coming from you," Chanyeol jokes, eyes fixed on Baekhyun as he laughs. He sees how Baekhyun opens his mouth, unsure, gaps lost for words, then the boy reaches out for him, "I was telling him how much I missed you."

It leaves him surprised, such a difference between the Baekhyun he left home this morning, but he steps out immediately, brings forward the hand that stayed hidden to gift him a rose, "What a coincidence," he chuckles at Baekhyun's flabbergasted face, "Saw it on the way home and it reminded me of you."

An annoying voice interrupts Baekhyun, who was gathering the right words, "Oh man I think we've lost you forever," he points to Baekhyun, "this is _your_ fault."

Baekhyun picks the rose shyly, he'd jump right into Chanyeol's arms if he could, he didn't think receiving flowers would feel this good, but instead he circles the bigger man with his arm, as said man mocks back at Sehun, "Do you want to eat lunch or?"

"Yes, did you think I actually was here for you?" Sehun rolls his eyes, but smiles all whites after, "please I miss your cooking," Chanyeol watches him suspiciously, "I'll think about it," Baekhyun is yet in another deep stare towards the streets, the man nudges his cheek softly, "Come, love, it's cold,"

Chanyeol has 4 mouths to feed now, 5 if counting himself, so he gets to work right away, watched closely, even though there's a light conversation behind him. Baekhyun listens to Sehun but every time he turns around he's right there to catch Chanyeol's eyes, he even reciprocates one of his smiles, it gets Chanyeol beaming, earns a comment from Sehun about how ''gross'' they're being, but none of them really minds.

Then after lunch, Sehun and Chanyeol are slowly left alone, Baekhyun grows heavy against Chanyeol until the man has to move him to the bed, he doesn't complain.

Chanyeol is a little worried about his sleepiness, but he's also grateful, because every time he wakes up he's looking more and more like his Baekhyun. The ugly marks on his neck are almost just a memory, his muddled eyes too. He ends up spending the whole day with Sehun. More hopeful now. Maybe, tomorrow will bring something new for the both of them. Maybe he's doing something good after all.

Tomorrow is surprising, really, Chanyeol believes he's still sleeping when he opens his eyes to Baekhyun's face close to his, hair falling on his face as the boy is bent over him and occupied with leaving little pecks on his cheeks, his nose. Chanyeol wants to close his eyes and resume to this dream, but Baekhyun's hair tickling his face has other plans, it gets Chanyeol to shake his head, scrunching his nose. Baekhyun blinks his wide eyes so close to his, studies him for some time before he's retreating with a smile, "Morning," Chanyeol doesn't know what to say at first, sticks to studying the shirt Baekhyun stole from him, the gray one he always wears, then his legs when the fresh bandages on his knees steal his attention. His face is left last, because Chanyeol's heart is already speeding in it's cage without further help from beautiful eyes. When he meets them though, it gets worse, with the way Baekhyun is smiling only at him. Chanyeol bites his lip, aware that he's left the smaller without an answer for too long, "Morning, pretty, why are you up?''

Baekhyun shrugs, reaches to take Chanyeol's phone from the nightstand then turns to leave for the kitchen winking as an open invitation. Chanyeol takes it. Takes the coffee mug resting on the corner for him too, then follows the boy who's scrolling on his phone mindlessly on the couch. He turns to Chanyeol then, wordless but smiling. It's obvious they're both ignoring the elephant in the room.

"Sehun says hi," Baekhyun adds conversationally when neither speaks up. He motions to his phone, in his hand now. "Yeah I'll call him later," Chanyeol nods and sips the coffee slowly, he's looking for a nice way to address what's on his mind. "Love?" He clears his throat when Baekhyun looks into his eyes, takes aback, then he continues softly, "how are you feeling?" Baekhyun looks puzzled, it's so not like him and his sharp mind, "I'm...fine?" Chanyeol shakes his head, "Did Sehun say something to you?"

"No, Yeol, why would he?" He scrunches his nose, the liar, it's something he always does when he tries to hides something. Chanyeol boops his button nose, smiles sadly, "If you ever want to tell me anything, I'm here, okay? I love you and I'll always be here, I promise."

Baekhyun doesn't doubt him anymore, but he's doubting himself. With a wince he shuffles closer to the man. Chanyeol gets lost in his eyes in a second. It's the same for Baekhyun, who's avoided the brown orbs for so long. An overwhelming feeling of affection rushes to him. He throws his arms around his neck with a cry, all his resolve breaks, "I love you, I really love you so much," Chanyeol pecks his rosy cheeks, "Welcome back to me, my little love," Baekhyun shakes his hair out of his eyes, glues his forehead to the one in front of him.

Then Chanyeol tilts his head to meet his lips. They're chapped so he moists them for him. Baekhyun responds with little pecks, mirth in his eyes all from his giant.

"I missed your lips so much, I thought I'd go crazy," Chanyeol murmurs on his lips, catches each of them between his to give gentle sucks, memorising the taste once again. "I'm sorry," Baekhyun says gently, his tongue peeks out to meet Chanyeol's hot one. He swallows any apology and regret left.

Chanyeol chuckles, "Don't be silly," Soon enough all his face gets covered in kisses, Baekhyun squirms from all the tickling. "You're so beautiful with your hair long like this, you look just like a prince," Chanyeol comments casually, still staring at him. Baekhyun snorts, but lets him have his way. "Let's go out today."

Baekhyun's glinting eyes wreak havoc in his chest, he's playing with the button nose as he whispers, "Do you have anything in mind?" Baekhyun raises his shoulders, it directs Chanyeol attention to them and he attacks them with a round of little pecks, the smaller giggles.

"I just like the air outside, all the leaves are brown- ah, stop," he fights Chanyeol's head with his, bumping into each other until it end in a long Eskimo kiss, "it looks refreshing," he continues after, a little out of breath.

"How about we go on a drive and just stop when we get tired?"

"Out of this town?" Baekhyun beams, a little unsure, Chanyeol blows raspberries into his lower lip and steals away all of his worries. "Yes, love, wherever you want," "Can we take the kids too?" Baekhyun refers to their pets as kids now, Chanyeol blooms with love.

"Yeah, I bet Toben missed fresh air too."

When Chanyeol gets up, he has a mind to spin his small ray of sunshine in his arms, but whimpers are still leaving his mouth when he's lost in thought and thinks Chanyeol doesn't notice. Instead, he drops to his knees, between Baekhyun's parted legs who's still seated and hugs his middle gently, nosing along the material of his own shirt. Baekhyun's hands fly to twist his loose curls, watching curiously. "Thank you so much, Hyun."

"What for?" He breathes out, puzzled, pulls Chanyeol's head closer. "Trusting me again," the man continues. His shirt rides up from all the nuzzling he's done until it ends up above Chanyeol's head. The man rests his chin on one of his thighs, looking up at him with a smitten look in his eyes. It makes Baekhyun swim in guilt. "I never stopped trusting you, my love," he says softer, Chanyeol begins to drop kisses on his hips, each fingerprint imprinted by Dongjun being covered by loving lips, "You're all I have."

Baekhyun massages his scalp as a thank you, tilts his head back in a deep sigh as Chanyeol treats the other hip equally. "Don't say that, love," His will to get up when Chanyeol is like this is getting weaker, "But it's the truth."

While the man gets ready, Baekhyun is left in charge of the kids. Toben has his own little coat he puts on, while Mr Brown Paw only gets a leash from the small dog. With how big his cat has got, he'd be able to win cover Toben completely only with his gigantic belly. Baekhyun finds himself deep in thought when the taller sneaks behind him, holding his favourite coat that's now Baekhyun's up, he brings himself back, hides everything for Chanyeol, "Let's go."

• • • • • •

"Alright, listen here!" Chanyeol is bend over the backseat car, pointer towards their cat and dog simultaneously, he's using a stern voice which gets Baekhyun cooing in the passenger seat.

"If any of you as much as thinks of peeing on my leather seats, I'm going to ground you, for life!" Baekhyun barely stifles his giggles. "Do you understand?" Toben doesn't understand a work, but the energic dog still barks happily at Chanyeol. "Hmmm, good, good."

"Hey! Big scary daddy Yeol! Leave the kids alone and come back to me already," Baekhyun exclaims behind him, whiny but teasing. Chanyeol bursts into a laugh, "Did you just call me daddy?" He asks incredulous as he gets in.

"So what if I did?" Baekhyun raises his eyebrows suggestively, but they both end up laughing in eachother faces. Chanyeol leaves the parking lot after a short peck. They fall back into their old routine of shifting gears together. The old music is back to accompany them too. Toben jumps around until he's in Baekhyun's lap, fighting with Chanyeol for his attention.

They're just driving on the old, deserted land that connects one small town to another, barely reaching 50 km/h, windows rolled down to let the cool hair reach them. Everything is brown, and red, and yellow, all combined in front of them. The empty plots of land look lonely now. Baekhyun makes it his mission to kiss every single finger Chanyeol is willing to give him thoroughly, grazes the calloused palm with his sharp canines, until the man tenses. "Stop, baby, I carried the kids with them," Baekhyun shrugs, takes one finger between his teeth to play with it as his response.

The scenery he knew is left behind, they enter an even smaller town, that's done as soon as it came. Baekhyun notices only a family walking their kids back from school, another granny resting on a bench by the main road, then it's empty.

"Oh, I love this song!" Chanyeol exclaims only at the first notes of the new song. "Here it comes..." Baekhyun whispers, feigning annoyance but in reality he loves the way Chanyeol sings for him, loves all his old man songs. It really comes, "When you came into my life!"

Chanyeol points to you, passionately trying to reach the hight tones the man is singing into, but it doesn't go too well with his gruff voice. "It took my breath away!" Baekhyun rolls his eyes, shakes his head, "Cause your love has found it's way to my heart!!!"

Chanyeol hits against his ribcage aggressively, eyebrows drawn together to act on the music. Baekhyun's laugh covers the song, Chanyeol likes it better, "Yes, lover boy, I understand," The man juts his lip out, "Do you really?" Baekhyun nods, a small "silly" escapes his lips but more smiles follow. "Come on, it's a good song, admit it."

Baekhyun grins, subtle, "I like Elvis more." Chanyeol steals his hand back along Baekhyun's in it to kiss the smooth skin loudly, "My boy's got great taste." "You're so embarrassing, my God..." Baekhyun is half sulking, half amused, hidding his grin but his puffed cheeks give the winning side away, "I love you so much."

Then they have duets. And little competitions of who can murder the songs more. They drive around unknown territories until they get to a gas station for a toilet break.

Then only one minute passes and another town welcomes them. They're going towards the mountains and this one is a little bit cooler. The view is breathtaking though, half of it is covered in trees of all colours. "Let's stop here!" Baekhyun says, a little too excited.

Just seeing Baekhyun radiating warmness gets Chanyeol the happiest man ever. He's beaming, holding both the leashes while the smaller walks ahead of them with his eyes on the clouds. A small forest turned into a park is where they're strolling in. Chanyeol crouches down to set the overly excited dog free. Baekhyun only hears a yelp before a black shadow dashes past him. Chanyeol's loud laugh fills the air, Baekhyun turns around with a grin and opens his arms wide. ''Catch me!''

"You're going to hurt yourself!" Chanyeol says, but his arms are wide open too, the smaller jumps on him anyway. "What a big puppy..." Chanyeol grumbles and let's go of the cat's leash. It's Mr Brown Paws moment, he leaves the two alone.

Baekhyun puckers his lips as a request. Chanyeol takes a look around first. It's cloudy and grey, the atmosphere is rather moody, a promise of a rain, whatever population this village has left, they're all hidden. It looks like this park is all for them. Chanyeol pecks him endlessly.

"God, you're going to be the death of me," spills from the taller's mouth between sloppy kisses. They're seated on the grass, under a big tree that shed leaves for Baekhyun to play in. Chanyeol snaps a picture of the boy, then one of them together.

It's the first of them together, and it may seem like the worst time, with Baekhyun's eye that still holds shades of purple and Chanyeol's tired ones. But for them it's just perfect. Baekhyun is back on the warm chest, legs thrown on each side of his body with their clothes a mess of yellow and green. Chanyeol's clothes to be precise.

The smaller flicks his ears playfully, earns a groan from the other, Chanyeol pretends to bite his hand only to scare him. Baekhyun squeaks, hides both of his hands under the man's shirt but they're taken out and kissed as an apology. "Aren't you in pain?"

Baekhyun goes over his words a few times, not to alarm Chanyeol, not to lie to him, "It's bearable now, you don't have to worry," Chanyeol is unimpressed, puffs air against the long hair covering his eyes, "I'm worried no matter what,"

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, pinches the red cheeks alive with joy in front of him. He speaks up with another question after some minutes of just teasing each other. "Do I make you happy, Yeol?"

Chanyeol stares back into the hopeful eyes incredulous, how can he ask something like this? "What kind of question is this, Hyun?"

"I-" his lip is red from all the worrying, "you make me feel so happy and content," Baekhyun puts his pretty hands on his chest, feels every booming of his heart, "and so loved," Chanyeol blinks in confusion, he doesn't know where this is heading. "But me? How do I make you feel, Chanyeol, you never tell me what troubles you," he points accusingly, "you're always so composed that I...end up neglecting your feelings, my love," The stare from the man makes him trail off in the end. Now, he's not even sure if what he's saying makes sense. He should've just kept his mouth shut.

Chanyeol chuckles, eyes so soft, blinded by love, the unsure expression appearing when it comes to expressing himself is so typical Baekhyun, he wants to kiss the silly boy senseless. "Is this why you're forcing yourself so much for me?" Baekhyun doesn't answer.

"Love, I'm so happy just with you being by my side, stop doubting yourself,"

His gaze wavers to the sky, stubborn, stubborn Baekhyun, ''I just-I want to do more,'' His heaving chest is not a good sign, Chanyeol finds out just why immediately, when Baekhyun opens up. His words cut deep into his chest.

''When...when he...'' a little hiccup thrown in between, ''I remember feeling like it'll never end.'' Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows, takes the small face between his palms, ''Baby, you don't have to,''

Baekhyun shakes his head, ''No, I want to say...that the worst part wasn't it,'' Chanyeol catches every word with his breath held, something faint is drumming against his ribcage at the images that rush to his head. ''I really thought I'll die there, and I was so s-scared,''

''Love-''

''I was so scared that I'd never see you again, that that morning would be the last, that we had such a short time together,''

Baekhyun chuckles against Chanyeol's wretched face, kisses his eyelids closed. ''I don't want to feel like that ever again, that's why I'm going to cherish you for every moment of my life.''

Such big words he's using. But he feels them. Feels them so deeply imprinted in his chest. His whole soul submitted to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol lets himself be kissed, every inch of his face is tickled by Baekhyun's lips, ''And I promise to do the same in return,'' Comes the late, muffled reply, muffled by Baekhyun who's trying to steal his air. ''You already do, my love.''

They laze around under the sky until grey clouds push them away, rushing all four of them towards the car. So they continue at home. With the soft whispers of love and the subtle touches. All the time in the world feels like it belongs to them.

• • • • • •

Two days pass. One thousand kisses too. A million of shared smiles. A hundred songs danced together. One of slowest lovemaking where Baekhyun takes care of him as best as he can later, their bubble pops.

Chanyeol comes back from a meeting to find Baekhyun on the couch, his phone between his legs, clutches tightly in his hands. He has his head bowed down. One simple sentence from the smaller and he understands. ''I think I'm cursed.''

He drops the groceries bags on the floor and gathers the fragile frame in his arms. ''He died earlier...'' He adds, voice weaker now that Chanyeol is here to hold him and he can let go.

They stay like this for a long time. Chanyeol covers him completely and just gives him time. ''I don't know what I have to do...'' Baekhyun admits quietly, holding on to Chanyeol like he's the last piece of his sanity.

Chanyeol understands him. Although there are only 4 years between them, he'd already gone through a lot of funerals. Many of his members, his friends. He soothes the trembling boy with his voice. ''I'll go with you, I'll help you with the paperwork, alright?''

Baekhyun sniffles in the crevice of his neck, but the tears don't come. The man just runs his hands up and down the length of his back, until the boy peeks up at him again. ''Did he want a funeral?'' Chanyeol asks, he shakes his head. ''No, he's never been religious, he wanted to be cremated.'' Chanyeol nods with his lips against his forehead. ''Should we go?''

They end up spending the whole night in the hospital. It passes in a blur and at the same time, it's so slow. Baekhyun falls asleep in his arms while they wait on the plastic chairs outside the room. Chanyeol truly hates hospitals. Hates how lifeless Baekhyun looks every time they're in one.

Eventually, all that's left of Baekhyun's dad is a jar his son holds against his chest then buries under a tree. A life of a man tangled between roots, brought back into nature. Baekhyun's mourn is quiet, but he's already accepted this a long time ago. Went through the same death a million times in his head. Chanyeol remains his anchor through it all. He tries to get Baekhyun outside for a whole week to no avail. The boy just waits curled in bed for him to come back whenever he leaves, but at least Chanyeol is not pushed away. It's a big step for him.

Until one evening, when Chanyeol pushes up from a nap when his phone rings. When he comes back Baekhyun has woken up too, and he's watching curiously. ''Yeol?''

''Yes, love?''

He's playing with his lip absently. ''What is it?'' Baekhyun's sudden interest gives him hope. He speaks more lively. ''Jongdae called asking for help, I have to go pick him up.'' Baekhyun listens carefully, ''Do you want to come?''

It takes so long Chanyeol thinks he's already got his answer, that's why it takes him by suprise when Baekhyun raises from the bed and comes behind him to steal the hoodie he was inspecting with a grin.

It's a breath of fresh air, a push to his heartstrings that are so enamored with Baekhyun to see him smiling so beautifully. Chanyeol lets him have it, finds something else to match his lover.

"For your birthday-" he's trying to push the material past his head when a sweet voice speaks behind him, "Hm?" Chanyeol turns completely to him, to find the beanie he was planning on taking also on his head, he chuckles, pulls Baekhyun closer to leave a short kiss on his nose.

"I was thinking...for your birthday, let's go to your parents like you said," It comes so random, but it makes him just as glad to have Baekhyun thinking of their future together. "Sure love."

They have to get out of town to go to the location Jongdae's sent. It leads to another warehouse, this one is smaller and ready to collapse. Chanyeol hears the scream the moment he steps out the car. He was expecting the man to be already done.

Before he can tell the boy to stay in, Baekhyun is already latched on his arm, probably listening to everything too. "I think it's better if I go first, Hyun," He says, ready to let go of Baekhyun but the boy shakes his head. "I want to go with you,"

"Hyun-" he says with a grimace, "Jongdae isn't very clean, I don't want-" Baekhyun tip toes to shut him up with a kiss, "I'll go with you,"

"Stay behind me, okay?" Chanyeol tries to shield him completely, he feels too much like an overprotective mother, but the boy looks so fragile, he can't think of anything else. They hear the loud voices as they approach, Chanyeol unconsciously searches for Baekhyun' s hand.

"Just wait until I get you!" Baekhyun doesn't flinch, maybe he's being paranoid. "I'll let you chose what's next, tongue? Ears?" "Y-you-you're crazy!" Jongdae's sinister laugh fills the air. Baekhyun remembers it clearly, then it was merged with the club's bass, but now

is loud and clear. They get closer. "I TOLD YOU E-EVERYTHING! I SWEAR!" The other person is sobbing, it sounds like pain. "I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE! LET ME LEAVE!" "Who said you're lea-"

The door creaks open, Jongdae trails off and turns to them with a big, welcoming smile. "Channie! Finally!" He has blood droplets on his face, subtle but there. Chanyeol notices them rapidly but he hopes Baekhyun doesn't. Jongdae notices the one behind him, when he's tried so

hard to hide Baekhyun from this. The boy is eyeing everything with a hard stare. "Baekhyun! I was wondering when I'll see you again, hi!"

He manages to redden both their hoodies, or Chanyeol's. He's so chatty while pleads of help still echo in the background. Baekhyun is watching the door it's coming from silently, despite Jongdae's numerous questions of where has he been. "Why aren't you done?"

Jongdae responds with a fake pout, "Fucker locked himself in there thinking he'd escape," then after a big deadpan from Chanyeol, he bursts into a fit of giggles, "Actually I let him," he's drowning in joy, "He really thinks he's escaping, it's so funny,"

Jongdae claps his hands when one particularly cry is heard better. "I need you to kick down the door."

Chanyeol sighs, his whole face twists into a disagreeing frown. One quick glance is thrown at Baekhyun who seems to be lost in the scenario, analysing everything with a stone mask on. "Come on, I'll take care of Baekhyun for you,"

Chanyeol squeezes his lover's hand before he moves along. He knocks once, "Open up,' "N-no!"

"Come on-"

"NO!" Chanyeol sighs, his leg goes up in the air and he gathers all his strength for the kick, very aware of the eyes fixed on his back.

"P-please!" Jongdae laughs behind him, the other's presence is silent but weights more on his conscience. The door gives in, eventually, and a bloodied man falls to his feet, sobbing, pleading. Chanyeol doesn't want to turn around, doesn't want to look at this either.

"I'm begging, h-he promised he'd let me g-go! Please!" Chanyeol shakes off the hands clutching on his feet. Jongdae is back for his prey. But just when he's about to take out his knife again, a gun goes off.

The man falls on the floor with a thud, Baekhyun sees Chanyeol arranging the gun back on his belt when he comes back to him.

His ears are ringing, and he doesn't realise but the sound made his legs tremble on the spot. His Chanyeol, who wouldn't hurt a fly in favour of letting it out the window. His Chanyeol overflowing with love. The man comes to him looking ashamed, head bowed, Baekhyun smiles in the corners of his lips, encouraging. Chanyeol said he never liked this.

But for him, it was oddly satisfying. Seeing someone beg for his life in front of his Chanyeol. He felt so proud, but he'll never admit it out loud. Because it's wrong. But he lived the moment through Chanyeol, the man shared his power with him.

Baekhyun opens his arms in a silent invitation for a regretful looking Chanyeol. "Fuck you! This was the fun part!" Jongdae accuses with a finger, standing above the dead body, sulking. "You're taking too long and I wanna go home," "Well good luck, we're going to Yixing."

Chanyeol groans in his arms, head thrown back like a child, "But-"

"Who's Yixing?" Baekhyun speaks for the first time since they got here. Curiously watching as Jongdae wraps the corpse up. "A farmer, very nice, you'll like him," Jongdae rushes out all smiles, then huffs at

Chanyeol, "Come help me, this motherfucker is heavy." Chanyeol pecks his forehead first. Baekhyun is left with more questions. It's gonna be a long night.

Baekhyun is put in charge of watching out because the two won't accept his help. He watches as Chanyeol drops the dead man in the back of his car with a heavy heart. He almost chuckles.

They drive, out of town, Baekhyun is questions Chanyeol with his eyes, Jongdae talks about everything and nothing at all, just fills the silence. Baekhyun ignores half of it. Maybe he should, when he's seen what he's capable of. But Chanyeol gives him a sense of invincibility.

Chanyeol is too quiet. Looks like a scolded child, although Baekhyun has done anything but.

"Baekhyun!"

"Baekhyunee!"

"Pssss!"

"Hey~" Baekhyun watches him in the rear mirror, unimpressed and impassive. "Chan, tell him to pay attention to me!"

"You're giving him an headache." Chanyeol says simply, it makes him chuckle.

He caresses the hand held tight in his. "What do you know about pigs, Baekhyun?"

Before he can address the ridiculous question, Chanyeol speaks, "Jongdae, shut up," But he doesn't, he rolls his eyes. "Why are you protecting him so much? Come on, it's fun!" Baekhyun is swimming in confusion. "He must know who you are, right?"

Chanyeol gives up with a sigh and one last squeezes of his hand, as if reminding him he's there. "Did you know that pigs can eat an entire human body?" Jongdae asks in fascination. He didnt, but suddenly things start to click. Their trip to the countryside starts to make sense.

Seeing Chanyeol carry a dead body is...eye opening. In a way it makes him want to see more of this Chanyeol, him working. Also, it makes him realise this danger is very arousing to him. But only if it's Chanyeol. Truth be told, he'll like anything Chanyeol does.

He barely pays attention to the new person they see briefly, eyes focused on Chanyeol. Maybe he doesn't make a good impression but Baekhyun doesn't care about anything besides clinging into Chanyeol's hand.

The car is suddenly quiet on the way back. Their companion wanted to stay with Yixing. Baekhyun feels guilty for not feeling guilty at all, a man who's killing he witnessed is being eaten right now. Chanyeol, he doesn't know what's making his soft face frown.

He doesn't know how to break the silence either, that's Chanyeol's speciality. He just keeps staring at the man. Hoping for his eyes to be acknowledged. The perfect opportunity comes when the song changes on the forgotten radio.

Baekhyun begins softly, singing the lyrics of "You are my sunshine," in a whisper that gradually grows louder, until he's full singing, caressing Chanyeol's arm. Chanyeol chuckles, tired and a little quiet.

"Drive faster Park, I wanna hold you," he adds to relieve the heavy mood.

Perhaps this is Chanyeol's answer to his previous request. Perhaps he's finally showing his weak side. His eyelashes quiver with vulnerability, finding his way into Baekhyun's arms like a month to a flame, "Baby, what it is?"

" 'mtired,"

Chanyeol raises his eyes from his chest in a silent request. It's quite comical, how a man so big bends to 90 degrees to fit into his arms, it makes it all more endearing to Baekhyun.

Kisses get plastered on his forehead, all of its shiny glory. Baekhyun likes how he can take care of his giant of a lover for once. The man lets him completely. "Yeol-" he begins, then realises finding words is actually hard in this position. He has an idea of Chanyeol's sudden

gloomy mood. His baby never liked killing people. "You did a good thing today, okay?" He makes Chanyeol face him again with two fingers of his chin. "The man has suffered enough already and you took him out easier and faster, yes, baby?" He tries, really tries his hardest,

Chanyeol nods slowly. Baekhyun tightens his arms around his head again and lets him drown inside of his chest.

When they drop on the bed and Chanyeol just remains with his breath tickling his neck, breathing him in gradually, it hits him. This tiredness must come from all of the days the man has taken care of him. Or all the things he had to do for him. Or from how he's had to see him.

Helpless and at his lowest. Yes, Chanyeol has plenty of reasons to be tired. "Can I undress you? I want to feel you," "Sure," comes a murmur, but he has to straighten himself for Baekhyun to pull his shirt over his head. He does the same to his,pecks plump lips red from the cold after. Their pants go too after. Baekhyun searches blindly for the soft blanket to pull it over both of them, with Chanyeol curled until they're the same size. Like puzzle pieces, they stick together, soft flesh moulding as Baekhyun kneads Chanyeol's tense back. He thinks for a while, "Do you know how much you mean to me, Chanyeol?" The man hums. "You're all I have, really, you're my whole world,"

Chanyeol huffs, "Love, why are you sweet talking me?" His cheeks are painted pink, his ears too, Baekhyun takes one of them between his fingers to caress it gently, it's burning up. Chanyeol is getting flustered just from a few words of love. Baekhyun wants more.

"I'm not, baby, I'm just saying the truth," Chanyeol's head chases the touch, he has the back of his head put on Baekhyun's spread palm, who's supporting him so he can look up. Baekhyun curls his fingers to scratch on his scalp. "I've never-God, this sounds so stupid,"

But Chanyeol urges him to go on with his big, curious eyes, "I've never been able to feel much, my girlfriends in college both dumped me for being an asshole," he chuckles, reminiscing. "No matter what, I wasn't in it with my heart,"

Chanyeol nods, a particular scratch between his ear parts his lips in a sigh. "But you...I don't know what you did to me," Chanyeol came at the right time, the best he could. Or the worst for Baekhyun, when he's been weak and most vulnerable.

A lazy grin spreads across Chanyeol's lips, his lidded eyes regain a bit of their light, "I'm the big winner, huh?" Baekhyun narrows his eyes, "Don't laugh at my confession!" "I was serious, I really feel like a winner with you in my arms."

To this, Baekhyun doesn't know what to say. He averts his eyes but they quickly come back with a new idea. "You know... sometimes I just don't understand, what brought you to me?"

Different emotions flash through the man's eyes, too quick for Baekhyun to stop on one. Then his grin gets wider, the corners resemble teasing. Chanyeol decides to amuse him.

Well you know, some ago, this absolutely stunning boy," he murmurs, he's building up his suspense, "Very lonely, with a pair of beautiful doe eyes, truly too mesmerising to be true,"

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. "Had a 10 minute bicker with my dick because he was worried that it won't fit or his mouth will ache and of course, it was my dick's fault," Chanyeol says, with playful accusation,

"Then he also got mad at me when I didn't exactly tell him what to do," he lists with glee, to Baekhyun's embarrassment who has his eyes downcast. "I guess I just found my way back to you after that." Baekhyun grabs the back of his neck and forcefully pushes his face back into his neck with a embarrassed grunt, "I'm never trying to be romantic with you again." Chanyeol nips on the skin he finds there, trying to hide his chuckles. Another night passes with them promising love to each other.

• • • • • •

They're playing in bed. Chanyeol is bitting softly on his proeminent tummy, all thanks to his food, it gets Baekhyun squeaking so loud their pets decide it's a party and join them. He's ticklish, Chanyeol and his air blowing doesn't help. "Oh my god, look at you," The man is talking to his tummy, ripping yelps out of the smaller now and then, "I can't believe you've kept me away from this all this time," Baekhyun rolls his eyes, tries to run away but it's a wrong move, Chanyeol takes a hold of him and manhandles him on his front. He nibbles on his bum this time, Baekhyun yells in fits of laughter.

"I want you chubby for the rest of my life now."

"Stooooop," Baekhyun squeaks harder in the time Chanyeol lowers his shorts bit by bit. The taller's phone pings though, and he retreats with a grunt. It's just a text, Baekhyun turns his head curiously, waiting. Chanyeol has a grin on. "Love, I have something planned for Dongjun." Baekhyun's body gets stiff into his hold. He can see exactly how the name brings back memories. It's on his face, ghosts haunting him are shadowing his beautiful face.

Chanyeol holds his tighter. Shields him from the world like he's done so many times before. "The day after tomorrow, I promise the bastard's gonna be dead,"

"C-chanyeol-" Baekhyun says and leaves just at the name. Somehow, he gets smaller. Just like a scared child, he holds on to Chanyeol with all the strength he's got in his limbs. "I'm so scared, Yeol."

Chanyeol seats them more comfortably against the headboard, hears the hitch in Baekhyun voice and just keeps silent to give the boy time. Dongjun's always seem invincible to him. With his job, his way of demanding things like he's in the right to. "What if something happens to you? I d-don't-" He looks up into Chanyeol's eyes, the epitome of vulnerability.

"It won't, Hyun, I promise it won't." They're silent for too long. Or not silent, Chanyeol hums in his ear to calm him down. But Baekhyun is quietly wrecking his brain.

"I want to come with you." He says, determined, but his expression doesn't look so sure. He's still far away from Chanyeol.

"Love, are you sure?"

Baekhyun nods. "I'm afraid..." He repeats, in a whisper like a prayer for Chanyeol to make it all better.

He does, raises him in his arms until they have foreheads touching. "He won't touch you ever again, I swear." Baekhyun responds with a violent shiver. "No one will, no one you don't want to. I promise, Hyun."

"I only want you." Is Baekhyun's only answer.

• • • • • •

Against all the reasoning from Chanyeol's part, who sees him getting worse in his head again, right after he gave his everything to make Baekhyun happy again, the boy insists on coming. With shaking determination, but he does. It's a Friday night. Chanyeol and Dongjun work together like they usually do. This time, Chanyeol tells the officer that they're supposed to go meet with another mafia gang to solve tensions between them. And the man is blindly trusting. Everyone trusts Chanyeol.

"This shit is getting rusty, I think I'll have to change it soon," Dongjun says conversationally on the way, pointing to the gun on his belt. It's the perfect occasion for Chanyeol. Better than he'd planned.

"Oh? Didn't anyone tell you? A new shipping came in, let's drop by the deposit, I'll give you another one."

Dongjun is all too eager. So this is how they get to the warehouse next to Baekhyun's old home.

"Give me the gun, I'll go get another." Chanyeol says, Dongjun complies, they've done these before. This is how Chanyeol knocks out a defenceless Dongjun.

When Chanyeol drives them back, Baekhyun finds the officer tied to a chair between all the boxes stuffed inside. He seems to be still gathering his surroundings, his eyes focus on Chanyeol who's the first to step in, Baekhyun safely behind his back. "Chanyeol? What the fuck happened, man?! Untie me!" He demands, shaking on the chair he's trapped on.

Chanyeol's pretense drops, Baekhyun steps out from behind him just in time to catch the confusion on Dongjun's face before it turns to rage. "YOU!" He roars, Baekhyun barely flinches. "What's this whore doing here?! CHANYEOL, UNTIE ME NOW! Wait until I get my hands on you!" He snaps towards Baekhyun, eyes gone red from anger, desperation. The chair creaks under his tugs. "Chanyeol, fucking help me, get him!"

Chanyeol looks at him unimpressed, with worry back at Baekhyun. He finds the boy pinning the cop down with his cold eyes. "Love?" He takes Baekhyun's hand and squeezes it for his attention, the first reaction is Dongjun's, who splutters. "CHANYEOL, WHAT-" his eyes trail from him, to Baekhyun. Chanyeol decides to play Baekhyun's game and challenge Dongjun, staring at him with one hand of Baekhyun's in his, one eyebrow raised. Realisation comes to his face.

"You fucking whore! YOU FUCKED HIM? MY FRIEND? JUST WAIT, I WILL KILL YOU BOTH!"

The aggressive tugs get the chair to fall down. Dongjun falls on his back with a pained moan. Chanyeol is above him, staring. "You won't kill anyone, Dongjun, you're the one that's going to die tonight." Chanyeol kicks his side to get him to stop trashing around, never letting Baekhyun's hand go. The boy's face is unreadable, glass eyes piercing through the man as well.

"You-" Dongjun is coughing, "you're making a mistake, Chanyeol, untie me and I'll forgive you. Let me teach this whore a lesson!"

Chanyeol tuts, kicks harder this time. Again and again, until the man falls silent, in loud gasps. That's when Chanyeol drops to his level. Eye to eye to get his point across. "You won't, you won't touch him, you will pay for everything you did to him, do you understand?"

Dongjun is defiantly looking back at him. "You want him that bad? He is MINE! He'll always be mine!" He turns to Baekhyun, mocking him, "Will you, Baekhyunee? When I loved you so much? Will you forget your first lover?"

Baekhyun is frozen behind Chanyeol. "Shut the fuck up!" Chanyeol roars in his face, delivers a blow right on his jaw, his nose, his eyes, endlessly aiming until he remembers, he takes out the gun from his waist, above the coughing man. A strong voice comes from behind him. "No. I'll do it."

The man stops, stunned. Dongjun seems to still too. Baekhyun sits down in front of them, with a knife in his hand. Chanyeol realises it's the pocketknife he gifted him. "Love, you won't have to,"

"Let me." He is final, steel cold in the way he pronounces his last verdict. Chanyeol steps back after he hits kicks Dongjun one last time, and the man wails in pain. Baekhyun looks scary, his back seems to be even broader with his shoulders held high like this. His jaw raised even higher. He looks at Dongjun like he's a rat who just entered his home. It's accurate, actually.

Dongjun is so foolish. The light in his eyes is faltering with every second, but he still mocks the smaller with his laugh. "Are you gonna kill me, Baekkie?" More forced laughter, "you can't kill me! You can't do shit, Baekhyunee! Can't even stay faithful, you good for nothing piece of shit!" Chanyeol's jaw tightens, ready to step in. Baekhyun tilts his head with his brows furrowed.

"You won't be able to escape me," the cop is rambling at this point, badly concealed panic sweeping through his angered voice. "You're nothing without me, do you understand? NOTHING! You need me!'' Chanyeol doesn't want to hear it anymore, but it seems to fuel the smaller. "Look at you, yeah, you're pathetic! Too stupid for your own good! Just a whore! You killed your fat-" The words get stuck in his throat. The knife in Baekhyun's hand gets stuck inside his abdomen with one sharp movement.

It shocks Chanyeol as much as it shocks Dongjun. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?" The man fights on the floor, Baekhyun pins him down with another stab. He lets go with a loud roar, unleashes all his anger on the one in front of him. He doesn't think anymore. The sight of Dongjun looking helpless like this, like how he had felt all this time, it makes his hand move by its own. It's not flesh he pierces, all he sees his red. In front of him and in his head.

He doesn't know how long it's been when a hand grabs his arm still carving inside Dongjun.

"H-hyun, he's dead."

It's hard to register it. Baekhyun blinks a few times, focusing back on Chanyeol's face. He seems worried. Then he looks down, at his hands, at all the ruined flesh under him. "N-no." He whimpers. The knife drops from his shaking hand.

"He can't- no-" he looks back at Chanyeol with his trembling eyelids. No, Baekhyun's been through hell all this time. The man has stolen everything from him. He can't be gone, not so easy, not so fast. He deserved _more_.

"C-chanyeol-" Baekhyun calls out, and the man understands his silent request. He drops into his arms, a violent tremble announces the storm that's about to come. Then the sobs follow. "Love," Chanyeol calls gently, it gets drowned between Baekhyun's wailing. He's shaking the both of them, angry tears getting imprinted into Chanyeol's shirt. Baekhyun's voice is a pitched sounds, his cries too. "H-h-how can he- h-he can't d-die just like t-that-" Chanyeol smoothers his cries with a hand on his back, Baekhyun is clawing at his in return.

"It's alright, love, you're alright, you're going to be alright,"

"No..." The sobs are wrecking his chest, it hurts, it gets him grunting to get them out. He can't breathe. "N-no,"

Chanyeol doesn't know what to do. The only way is to let him let it all out. Baekhyun is like a dying man stealing his last air. He chokes at every attempt of breathing. Chanyeol squeezes his frail body. Only repeating "it's alright," like a mantra. He doesn't get to calm down though, he passes out in Chanyeol's arms.

• • • • • •

When he comes to, they're not in the warehouse anymore. He's in their bed, cleaned and tucked in. Chanyeol is seated on the ground, standing only with his chin rested on the pillow, close to his face, waiting.His face lights up when Baekhyun opens his eyes. "You're awake, I was so worried." He breathes out. Baekhyun is confused, then he's remorseful.

"Yeol- what are you doing there?" His voice dies out in a faint whisper. "Come to bed." Chanyeol complies easily, slithers in close to the boy, with an unsure light in his eyes, "How are you?" Baekhyun studies his face, then his arms shot up to cling on to the man's neck, to bring him closer. "I love you." He answers instead, closes his eyes again.

Chanyeol chuckles, he's so enamored too. "I love you too, Hyun,"

"I love you more than anything," he adds, stubbornly pushing his forehead against Chanyeol's, like a cat would. "Hyun, are you sure you're alright?" He pauses for a moment. "I liked killing him. It felt too good."

Chanyeol can't agree, he'd never felt any joy in it. But he nods his head slowly, Baekhyun is searching for assurance in his eyes. "But I feel bad for it."

"That's okay,"

"I shouldn't, he-" Baekhyun closes his eyes, "everything he did..."

Chanyeol understands. He kisses his forehead with a soft hum. "We're going to get over it, okay?" Chanyeol asks slowly, "together, we can do it, we'll start over, alright, baby?" Baekhyun has to close his eyes to keep them from watering again. Chanyeol is too sincere, too in love with him. It shows with every gesture, every move of his mouth, every flicker of his eyes. Chanyeol is full of love. For him. And Baekhyun is too. Chanyeol has brought down all his defences. Forcefully made his way into his heart. From the first time, he had no choice but to love him. Because Chanyeol is everything good, everything he was missing. Everything he's let himself to love.

"Yes, anything for you, Yeol."

• • • • • •

"_Wise men say~_"

Chanyeol is singing in the kitchen. It attracts a still sleepy Baekhyun towards it. The November morning air is chilling and unforgiving, that's why Baekhyun pads around the house drowned in Chanyeol's hoodie and his pants.

"_Only fools rush it,_"

He gets closer. Chanyeol is making their morning tea, Baekhyun almost giggles, full of all the emotions threatening to burst his chest open.

"_But I can't help, falling in love with you~~_"

He attacks Chanyeol's back with a melodic chuckle.

"Me too Elvis, me too."

Chanyeol turns him around for a good morning kiss, then he continues his song.They begin a slow dance, half-closed eyes full of sleep, hearts full of love. No rush, because they're in each other's arms. They're home. Baekhyun's found his home, and it is singing cheesy love songs for him every morning.

One year ago, he would have never imagined himself like this. Now, he can't imagine himself any other way.

**end**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was it, my overgrown child. I can't believe it's really over, what am I supposed to do now if I don't have scenarios of these two to make up in my head??? 
> 
> This is the first fic I'm actually completing, it started as a tweetfic and it's also on my twitter. I'm sososo nervous with everything. I want to apologize for any grammar mistakes, typos, everything I might've missed, I'm a lazy ass and I don't have the patience to look through it again.
> 
> A big thank you to everyone reading, leaving kudos and comments, as well as for my twitter readers who've been so supportive all this time and encouraged me to go on with this. 
> 
> You can find me on twt @ablazefairy, I'm more active in there, but I'll try to publish more here too.
> 
> Again, thank you a lot for everyone who's made it this far, hope you liked my little story ❤❤❤


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